Alexandersmap

    Month: April 2023

    • Going Further

      “All people, no matter who they are, all wish they’d appreciated life more. It’s what you do in life that’s important, not how much time you have or what you wished you’d done.” — David Bowie

      “If you feel safe in the area you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.” — David Bowie

      How did you spend your time in the last 24 hours? Did you find yourself out of your depth? Someplace exciting? I hope so. My own time was spent digging a ditch for a drainage pipe, and then filling it in again. And I tried a new way to cook bone-in pork chops and corn on the cob. On the surface, none of this is particularly exciting, but it was all unique experience compared to the norm. Life is about trying new things to see what we’re capable of, after all. Sometimes those new things seem pretty mundane.

      The point is to do more things out of our comfort zone. I’ll never be a rock star, but I’ll keep trying new things in this lifetime. I can confirm that 26 meters of ditch digging teaches you a few things about yourself. There was always going to be sweat equity paid this weekend, whether a hike or a long walk on the beach. Both of those sound a lot better than digging that ditch, but I’ve done each many times in my life. The ditch informed. And now that it’s done, I will take that labor with me to the next decision I make down the road.

      Choosing adventure and experience over the routine is a path towards a larger life. But so too is choosing the small challenges that everyday living presents to us. We won’t always be up on a stage with the spotlights on us, but we can all appreciate life a bit more. Doing more is the way.

      David Bowie might have been a rock & roll star, but he was also an avid reader, who would look around at all the books in his library mournfully, knowing he couldn’t possibly read them all in his lifetime. We all feel that way about something in this brief lifetime. All we can do is live with urgency and celebrate what we manage to get to in our days.

    • Putting It All Out There

      “If today’s social media has taught us anything about ourselves as a species, it is that the human impulse to share overwhelms the human impulse for privacy.” ― Kevin Kelly, The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future

      But all the promises we make
      From the cradle to the grave
      When all I want is you
      — U2, All I Want Is You

      They say that sharing is caring, but the twist is that the share is what we care about at all. Life is change, how we process that within ourselves is ours alone… until we share it. So much of what we think and feel becomes part of the collective with a click. What happens after the click is out of our control, but something is released from us anyway. We’ve put ourselves out there in a declaration of the moment and try to move on to the next.

      The reader is in a time machine, picking up where we left off and processing our unique stack of words into thought. Sometimes a comment coming back to me after something I’ve published throws me for a loop, and I need to re-read what I wrote to see who I was at the time. We’re each on our path to becoming, and who I’ve become after clicking publish is somewhat different than the person I was before.

      That timestamp of the moment isn’t trivial, for it’s a brief glimpse into our fragile lifetime. As the years go by, so do the moments. Is sharing a grasp for the elusive amber? We can’t be forever locked in any moment but through the media that carries on after us. Still, there’s a big difference between a journal and a blog post, isn’t there? Should there be?

      What compels us to share anything of ourselves at all? Do we need to clear space for our new identity? Are we leaving breadcrumbs for others who might be inclined to follow? Perhaps the very act of sharing of ourselves is integral to becoming whatever it is we’re moving towards. Each of us have our reasons—our why— for sharing that run beyond ourselves. This why is the puzzle in everything shared, to be discovered by others.

    • Keeping On

      I don’t want to wait anymore I’m tired of looking for answers
      Take me some place where there’s music and there’s laughter
      I don’t know if I’m scared of dying but I’m scared of living too fast, too slow
      Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I’ve got to go
      There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
      And you’ve just gotta keep on keeping on
      — First Aid Kit, My Silver Lining

      At a work event this week I looked around the room at the characters in the play. I’ve known them all so long, and yet only know a few of them very well. Some of the older characters talk of retirement and moving on, some of the younger characters openly plot their next move. I don’t play either of those parts, yet I’m still in the game.

      Building something tangible in our lives is really nothing more than showing up every day and being an active player. Life is humbling and teaches us we can’t have it all, and some will have more than perhaps they deserve. There are things we simply can’t control in this world, yet so much we can influence when we apply energy and focus on what matters most.

      We know when we’re running hard. When we’re pushing ourselves into new places. And we know when we ease off more than we should. Life is this balance, lived on the tightrope of commitments and aspiration while the winds of change swirl around us. Putting one foot in front of the other is really the only way forward. Still, we must ask ourselves, are we moving in the right direction? When should we follow another line?

    • Begin Anew

      The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day. — Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

      Very long days lend themselves to the notion of skipping things we promise ourselves we’ll do. Things like writing, for instance. But sometimes we must shake ourselves loose from this notion and remind ourselves that we have miles to go before we sleep. There are days when I’d rather sleep, to be honest. You may have those days too.

      Productivity and effectiveness are demanding dance partners. As active participants in the dance, our job is to show up and do our best, and try to do make it a little better than yesterday’s best. This constant improvement can’t go on forever, we know, but maybe just another day. We might tell ourselves this tomorrow too, but today will do for now.

      One day at a time, and then another still. The cadence becomes our identity, and the day feels empty without the work. I suppose that’s why they call it fulfilling.

    • Nothing More Than This

      I could feel at the time
      There was no way of knowing
      Fallen leaves in the night
      Who can say where they’re blowing?
      As free as the wind
      Hopefully learning
      Why the sea on the tide
      Has no way of turning
      More than this
      You know there’s nothing
      More than this
      Tell me one thing
      More than this
      Ooh there’s nothing
      — Roxy Music, More Than This

      Life keeps happening, one day to the next, as we so very quickly make our trip around the sun. It’s easy to wrap ourselves in this—to stress over the passing of time and people and things out of our control. Alternatively, we might simply take the days as they come to us. For things come and go as they will, and after all, there’s no stopping the tide, friends. The best we can do is anchor ourselves in something true.

      Each day offers something. We are each collectors of memories, built to savor and reflect if we give ourselves to such things. Shouldn’t we? For life is nothing more than this: the people and places that make us who we are in our time. We know deep down that it will all scatter one day, but not just yet.

    • RIP, Harry Belafonte

      “When you grow up, son, never ever go to bed at night knowing that there was something you could have done during the day to strike a blow against injustice and you didn’t do it.”
      ― Harry Belafonte, My Song: A Memoir

      I goin’ talk to Miss Brigit Bardot
      And tell her “Miss Bardot take it slow”
      All the men think they’re Casanova
      When they see that she’s bare foot all over
      Even old men out into beaker
      Find their hearts getting weaker and weaker
      So I goin’ to ask her for your sake and mine
      At least to wear her earrings part at the time
      And I’m singing
      Back to back, belly to belly
      Don’t give a damn, done dead already
      Uh-oh, back to back, belly to belly
      At the Zombie Jamboree, oh
      — Harry Belafonte, Zombie Jamboree (Back to Back)

      Harry Belafonte was always the guy who was going to live forever. He was a time machine back to the 50’s and 60’s, when the world was innocent, at least on the surface. He brought a joyful naughtiness to the vanilla music scene, and he brought energy. Songs like Zombie Jamboree and Jump in the Line were and are music to make you move and make you smile. This is joyful music that makes you happy to be alive.

      The peak of Belafonte’s career was well before my time, but you just look at the popular music of the era, and he just stands out. He also stood up, fighting for civil rights at a time when his prominent voice and magnetism made a big difference. He’s one of those people who seemed larger than life well beyond his active days. And now that his days are done, he will continue to live on for the joyful music he brought to the world, and the positive change he helped inspire.

    • Optimizing the Interval

      “Several hours or several years of waiting is all the same when you have lost the illusion of being eternal.” — Jean-Paul Sartre, The Wall

      “Those who are truly decrepit, living corpses, so to speak, are the middle-aged, middle-class men and women who are stuck in their comfortable grooves and imagine that the status quo will last forever or else are so frightened it won’t that they have retreated into their mental bomb shelters to wait it out.” — Henry Miller

      On the face of it, this pair of quotes might feel morbid and dark, but they’re simply pointing out the obvious. Memento mori: we all must die, so what will we do with the time left to us? We ought to make it something worthwhile. And so it is that at some point in our lives we truly recognize that someday our time will end. That moment of realization until the last moment of our lives is our interval. We owe it to our fragile selves to optimize that interval.

      Given the outcome, shouldn’t we stack as many healthy, fully vibrant and alive days into that interval as possible? Lean in to consistent exercise and good nutrition, that we might not one day surprisingly soon erode into a shell of ourselves. Read the great books now, that we might build our foundation stronger, and sit at the table of the greatest minds awaiting our arrival. Contribute something tangible in this world, not to be remembered, but to sustain the positive momentum the best of humanity offers. These are worthy goals for an interval as shockingly brief as this.

      Several hours or several years are just the same, friends, we must seize what flees.

    • The Courage for Course Corrections

      “Many people feel they are powerless to do anything effective with their lives. It takes courage to break out of the settled mold, but most find conformity more comfortable. This is why the opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity.” — Rollo May (via Poetic Outlaws)

      Some of us have an internal wrestling match battling in our heads between what we could be doing and what we’re currently doing. Which tendency dominates, the call of the wild or the call to conformity? Surely, we can’t have it all, but we can find ways to lean into that which stirs our soul.

      Teaching ourselves that all is not lost by breaking free from expectations offers an off-ramp from the conformity highway. Micro-adventures demonstrate that we can do things we previously thought out of reach. You don’t sail around the world by buying a boat today and leaving tomorrow. There’s learning and work and sacrifice that go into that process, as friends on Fayaway have documented. Each day offers a lesson in what not to do, but it also highlights what is possible simply by changing our course a degree or two on the compass heading.

      A friend recently posted a picture of a group photo taken a long time ago, when we were all much younger versions of ourselves. One of those people in the photograph had never really hiked before, and every step was new for her. She flipped the script on that and is now one of the most consistently active hikers in New England. That reinvention happened slowly in those early days, but now there’s no stopping her.

      We hear stories of people like JK Rowling writing in cafe’s in Edinburgh, or Mark Dawson writing on the train while commuting back and forth from his previous day job. There’s nothing to this but setting out to do what we say we want to do. How much time do we waste in excuses? We’re simply a course correction away from living towards that dream. The very act of changing course and sticking with it takes courage, but habit soon takes over.

      “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”
      ― James Clear, Atomic Habits

      When we see the evidence all around us of personal transformation, shouldn’t it provoke courageous action in ourselves? Perhaps. But it’s easy to see that which we aspire to be and view the gap as too far. We forget that each transformation was once a small course correction on the compass, acted upon one day at a time, until identity and routine took over.

      It’s easy to declare what we’re going to do in our lifetime. It takes courage to actively choose the alternative path from that those we’re closest to expect us to take. It takes even more courage to teach ourselves to take that new path and to keep going on it until we find ourselves. But what are we here for but to find our why and to do something with that?

    • Self… Less

      “A person totally wrapped up in himself makes a small package.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

      It’s human nature to see the world through our own lens, but that doesn’t make it productive or particularly informative. So how do we reconcile this with a blog published daily? At what point does it become a vanity play? The very act of producing daily is a statement of self (Look: I’m still here!”), but it shouldn’t ever be about the self.

      When the writing becomes too self-absorbed, it become less interesting, as selfies make the worst photographs. A selfie may create an image for the photographer to remember the moment, but by nature the place the picture is being taken in is dominated by the person, screaming “Me!” for all who will listen. Writing in a self-absorbed way is simply journalling in disguise.

      The tricky thing about living in a world that celebrates the individual so much is that it promotes so much individualism. Yet we are at our very best when we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. The self often gets in the way on our path to something more. Self… less is a better mission. It focuses the mind on bigger things, inherently beyond the limitations of the individual.

      “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus

      Each day offers an opportunity to reach for the mirror or the telescope. Which will help us see beyond our present position? Yet we each have our verse to contribute. This daily practice of becoming ought to be documented. Does this create a contradiction? That depends on the underlying motivation of the writer. To contribute to the conversation is an act of generosity. To dominate the conversation is something less. The mission is clear: to draw from the self to contribute to something beyond it.

    • My Earth Day Reckoning

      And we died of the future,
      of calling and mission only we could keep,
      leaping into every favorite season;
      sinking into roots, dreams, and books.
      — Li-Young Lee, First World

      “I am losing precious days. I am degenerating into a machine for making money. I am learning nothing in this trivial world of men. I must break away and get out into the mountains to learn the news” — John Muir

      Looking back, it seems quite natural to be locked into this routine of daily obligations—of work and chores and driving from here to there. Things fall apart and must be fixed. We must be fixed too. We are what we repeatedly do, as I repeatedly remind myself. So when is there time for nature and hiking? When is there time for long walks in the woods?

      There is no other time than now. We must go, and see, and take something of it with us for eternity. Not a rock or a leaf or even a flower, but a memory of who we were when we found the truth. Earth is far bigger and more beautiful than we’ll ever fully realize, no matter the frequent flyer miles accumulated. Earth is fragile yet resilient, and will wait an eternity to shrug herself of humanity. It may take a million years, but Earth will fix itself in time. We’re the ones who suffer for our neglect.

      Yet we are a small ripple in this big pond. Whether I recycle or not makes little difference, not when we see the crisis of leadership in the bigger things happening in the world. Nonetheless, we all make a small difference. We might pile on or opt in to the mission of making the planet a better place for our children’s children. Our small daily actions aren’t meant for others to see, they affirm who we tell ourselves we want to be in this world. We’re part of a larger chorus, and our accumulation of voices make a difference even when we can’t see it. A forest is made up of thousands of trees and millions of leaves. There is power in numbers.

      “I would say that there exist a thousand unbreakable links between each of us and everything else, and that our dignity and our chances are one. The farthest star and the mud at our feet are a family; and there is no decency or sense in honoring one thing, or a few things, and then closing the list. The pine tree, the leopard, the Platte River, and ourselves—we are at risk together, or we are on our way to a sustainable world together. We are each other’s destiny.”
      — Mary Oliver, Winter Hours

      Earth Day is a reckoning, a day when we take stock of what we’re doing to the Earth, but also a day when we take stock of what we’re doing with our own brief time on this planet. There are things we say yes to in this world, which means we say no to many other things. In the end, we must choose, what dreams will die with us? What will we stand for? What will we stand up against?

      We all see the changes in the world, but forget we have some agency in the matter. Is this a year of incremental improvement or reckless abandonment of what we believe we ought to be. These are questions for society, surely, but also for each of us in our daily lives. The question is always the same: who are we becoming?