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    • The Optimism of a Future Hello

      And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
      —The Beatles, The End

      I’ve always been a streak hitter. I find something that works for me, do it as best I can, and repeat it the next day. Habits are formed, identity is voted upon with action, expectations are set that what was will always be. The world might fall apart, but hey, we are still here, doing this, as we’ve always done. Like lilacs blooming in May, some things are predictable, and surely comforting.

      Writing an average of 400 words per blog post, I push out my thoughts, quote a poem or ramble on about stoic philosophy or the state of the garden. The site itself is a hot mess of bad formatting, but the words are mine. Sometimes I tell myself to fix this thing and make it shine, but really, I like it fine the way it is.

      And every day I tell myself this will be the last post and I’ll take a break. No grand announcement that this is the end, simply an Irish goodbye. To say something meaningful (if only to me) and exit stage left. And perhaps this will be the end, or a pause, or maybe I’ll just pick up right where I left off once again tomorrow. Nomads don’t say goodbye, they say, “until we meet again”. That expression is not an ending, it’s the optimism of a future hello. And doesn’t that feel better than “goodbye”?

    • Everything, Forever

      Turn, turn, my wheel! All things must change
      To something new, to something strange;
      Nothing that is can pause or stay;
      The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
      The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
      The rain to mist and cloud again,
      To-morrow be to-day.
      — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Kéramos

      I considered yesterday an ending of sorts, which infers that today would be a beginning. But it feels like more of the same. Life is change, but that change is so constant and incremental that it feels like every day is the just like the one before. Have a look around and we know the truth. Nothing is the same. Beginning with our perspective. We’ve simply moved to a newer place from which to assess our perch.

      Still, nothing is the same, nor will be again. We live and learn and grow, and tomorrow will be today, and then it will be no more but a memory of yesterday. The lesson? Our opportunity is always at hand. Don’t look so far ahead. We are where we are, and everything forever is right here awaiting our attention.

      All things must change. Beginning with us. Rise to meet it.

    • The Right Choice

      “If you feel like you’ve got a close call between quitting and persevering, it’s likely that quitting is the better choice.” — Annie Duke

      When we say that we listen to our gut, or trust our instincts, do we really? What is our gut telling us right now? Chances are our head will intervene and direct us right back to the logical path. Logical is what the brain is supposed to choose.

      But what if the gut was right all along?

    • Pass the Pasta

      Such cheap foodstuffs as rice, potatoes, and pasta lend themselves to being consumed in quantity and shared with the entire family, even the community. It’s prosperity that brings the arrogance of small portions. As incomes rise, grease and starch disappear, replaced by fatless protein, a few spoonfuls of green vegetables, a delicately sculpted potato—food prepared with an eye more to appearance than gratification.” — John Baxter, Five Nights in Paris

      Americans have no problem with small portions. We fill our plates to overflowing. This is a visual indicator that we’re getting value for our money. Burgers need toothpicks to stay together from the kitchen to the table, french fries and pasta spill over the edge of the plate. The plate inspires a wow and maybe a little envy from those who ordered something else.

      Naturally, there are implications to all this food. Those of us trained from an early age to finish everything on the plate have a tax of weight gain and calorie-burning activity to contend with. We train ourselves to order the salad, which itself is often a heaping mass of intrigue. Choosing to eat out less and make our own meals is naturally a healthier way to eat. The trade-off then becomes increased isolation. Breaking bread together creates bonds. So too does pickle ball, I hear.

      Baxter’s comment about the arrogance of small portions is directed towards the fancy restaurants serving microscopic portions that look amazing but don’t satiate. It’s a great line that draws one’s attention. I wish I’d written it myself. But I see both sides of the plate (if you will). People pay for experience, not for a full belly. It’s akin to going to the museum to view fine art instead of going to the ballgame. Is it arrogant to go to one or the other? Both have their place in an enriching life, in proper portions. The arrogance comes in judging what someone else is doing because it’s not what we would do ourselves.

      The great observation Baxter makes isn’t about arrogance, it’s about using cheaper food, like rice, pasta and potatoes, as the foundation of building community. We don’t have to be wealthy to come together, we just have to be inclined to do so. The wealthy are some of the loneliest people on the planet because they shelter in place in their gated “communities” or McMansions. The real wealth in a full life is in connection. So please pass the pasta.

    • Full of Firsts

      We shall not cease from exploration
      And the end of all our exploring
      Will be to arrive where we started
      And know the place for the first time.
      — T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding      “, Four Quartets

      There’s something in the air again (besides pollen). It stirs about and stirs within. The inclination to wander and discover what has not been experienced before grows. Spring is leading us to summer. Summer leads us to look beyond the familiar garden to the world beyond.

      This time of year has long carried the feeling of change in the air. School years are ending. University students are wrapping up finals and fleeing for faraway places schemed up in study halls. We may never pass this way again, but we surely won’t pass those other ways until we go there. Do go there—while we are young… or young enough.

      Looking back on previous adventures, we know we returned transformed. Go to Vienna or Rome or Edinburgh you cannot help but change. I listen to family and friends talk of adventures they’ve had on their own travels and see the place bubble up in their memories, energizing and provoking passion. I feel it within myself when I reflect on places I’ve been. The world is out there, ready to dance with us in our time. If we crawl out of our shell and get moving.

      Just what are we going to do with this opportunity to roam? Just what are we waiting for anyway? The world is full of firsts awaiting our arrival. This season, be bold and go to meet them.

    • Everything Matters

      “Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest in the numbing of our souls.” — Epictetus

      I made the mistake of reading a work email this morning before writing the blog. It was sent at midnight last night by a senior leader in the company, asking a follow-up question about a meeting last week. It lingers in my mind for having not followed up immediately, and so I gently nudge it over to the side, where it will distract me until acted upon.

      Mondays should not be soul-crushing events. No day should crush the soul, but especially the beginning of our work week. We choose how we react to the forces coming at us. Monday will come and go just like any other day in our deck of days. Shuffle them up, dump them out and have a look—they’re all roughly the same. Do with them what we will.

      That doesn’t mean each of our days aren’t special. They’re all miracles of chance, after all. We ought to see that gift for what it is and seek answers for our series of questions. Who are we? What will become of us next? Where did I put my car keys?

      Our deck of available days shrinks in size as our deck of experience grows. That thing that’s nagging at us to get done in one aspect of our life is distracting us from excelling in some other thing. That great memory over the weekend offers a happy glow to warm the first task of the work week. It’s all connected, it’s all the sum of our days and influences the balance available to us. The answer is to keep raising the average by adding better days to our deck to balance the more challenging ones.

      For the last few months I’ve been going to physical therapy on my ankle. I’ve seen encouraging improvement on the ankle, but noticed in the treatment that their focus on the ankle has expanded beyond it to the rest of my leg and my back alignment. We know intuitively that it’s all connected, but sometimes we need someone to show us how the tightness in one place is related to the injury in the other. Everything matters.

      Knowing that, just how does it change our perspective on today?

    • Nobody but Yourself

      A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words.

      This may sound easy. It isn’t.

      A lot of people think or believe or know they feel — but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling — not knowing or believing or thinking.

      Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.

      To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
      — e.e. cummings, “A Poet’s Advice to Students”

      To be ourself in a world that wants us to fall in line isn’t easy. After all, we are part of the tribe, the community, and the history of humanity. All that we see and encounter draws something out of us that we may not have felt otherwise. Just where is that line where the average of everyone else get crossed to simply, “ourself”? Remember in such moments this line in the quote above, “whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.”

      To feel is the thing. Nobody else feels what we feel. Nobody else brings the whole of their experience together, stirs it about in their soul and exudes the identity that is us. Nobody but us. So it follows that we ought to be aware of what we’re feeling, not just what we’re hearing and seeing and reading. What we feel hints at who we are. Give that room to breathe and grow.

      Most of us don’t fancy ourselves poets. Yet we may live a poetic life full of heightened awareness of the self and all that surrounds and influences us. Poetry is feeling. To “squeeze the marrow out of life” as Henry David Thoreau put it, we must be fully aware and alive. Give life a squeeze. See how it feels. Learn and grow and become nobody else but yourself.

    • Do It

      “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” — Pablo Picasso

      We grow into ourselves by stretches and the occasional leap. Now some people leap all the time, and become known as either bold or reckless, depending on how they land. Most of us test the waters a bit, see if it makes sense to move in this new direction, and work our way there gradually. A few never leave the nest at all, choosing familiarity and comfort over reaching for their own potential.

      So what do we do with habits that work for us, when we know that to grow we must break patterns and try new things? Delay? Dabble? Dive right in? We’re each unique in our willingness to try new things by letting familiar old things go.

      I think the moment we ask ourselves if we ought to try something new, we ought to take the first step towards that new. And then the next. Venturing more and more into the unknown to discover something about it and ourselves that we felt was possible all along. As that character Yoda put it, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Learn as we go. Do it.

    • Roll Clear

      People are worn away with
      striving,
      they hide in common
      habits.
      their concerns are herd
      concerns.

      Few have the ability to stare
      at an old shoe for
      ten minutes
      or to think of odd things
      like who invented the
      doorknob?

      they become unalive
      because they are unable to
      pause
      undo themselves
      unkink
      unsee
      unlearn
      roll clear.
      listen to their untrue
      laughter, then
      walk
      away.
      — Charles Bukowski, the area of pause

      I haven’t quoted the entire poem, just the part that jumped out at me today. Today is the tomorrow of yesterday, which was full of business talk and bold declarations of working to the last. I grow silent in such moments. Listening? Respectfully, but already turning away from the conversation in my mind.

      We all know that old expression, “If you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life”. I view work as a transactional relationship. I’m all in when I’m in it, and I keep it at arm’s length when I’m not. Wherever I am, I strive to be aware and alive. I believe that this will apply equally well in retirement one day.

      One old industry friend is counting down his final 40 days to retirement. Another was beginning a new job, hungry for the adrenaline hit of being the new guy once again. Both are older than me, looking at their careers in entirely different ways from each other. And maybe from me too. I don’t aspire to longevity in my tenure, I aspire to breadth and depth in a life well-lived. If that betrays me as something other than fully-committed, then so be it. I view that as fog of war stuff, for those who drink too much Kool-Aid.

      Every day offers a retirement of sorts. We leave work behind or we don’t. We may walk away, I say! Roll clear of all that has a hold of us and breathe in the fresh air of a new perspective. Life is change, and our next chapter awaits. Rester soi-même—be yourself. Wherever we may be on this journey through time.

    • More Hit Than Miss

      “Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work’s the curse of the drinking classes.” — Oscar Wilde

      Have you been waiting for this blog to be published? I’m not so self-absorbed to believe it so. But I know there are a few folks who confirm I’m still among the living by registering when the blog is released. So here it is, better late than never.

      The day will end, that’s for sure
      I wonder, how do we keep score?
      through projects completed and bonuses racked
      or magic acquired in this time stacked?

      This blog leans more towards poetry the later in the day I begin writing it. Perhaps a sign to keep writing in the earliest hours of the day. Whatever the consensus, I’ve posted one more, such that it is. Perhaps tomorrow will be more hit than miss?

      Cheers.