Alexandersmap

    Month: May 2026

    • Everything Matters

      “Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest in the numbing of our souls.” — Epictetus

      I made the mistake of reading a work email this morning before writing the blog. It was sent at midnight last night by a senior leader in the company, asking a follow-up question about a meeting last week. It lingers in my mind for having not followed up immediately, and so I gently nudge it over to the side, where it will distract me until acted upon.

      Mondays should not be soul-crushing events. No day should crush the soul, but especially the beginning of our work week. We choose how we react to the forces coming at us. Monday will come and go just like any other day in our deck of days. Shuffle them up, dump them out and have a look—they’re all roughly the same. Do with them what we will.

      That doesn’t mean each of our days aren’t special. They’re all miracles of chance, after all. We ought to see that gift for what it is and seek answers for our series of questions. Who are we? What will become of us next? Where did I put my car keys?

      Our deck of available days shrinks in size as our deck of experience grows. That thing that’s nagging at us to get done in one aspect of our life is distracting us from excelling in some other thing. That great memory over the weekend offers a happy glow to warm the first task of the work week. It’s all connected, it’s all the sum of our days and influences the balance available to us. The answer is to keep raising the average by adding better days to our deck to balance the more challenging ones.

      For the last few months I’ve been going to physical therapy on my ankle. I’ve seen encouraging improvement on the ankle, but noticed in the treatment that their focus on the ankle has expanded beyond it to the rest of my leg and my back alignment. We know intuitively that it’s all connected, but sometimes we need someone to show us how the tightness in one place is related to the injury in the other. Everything matters.

      Knowing that, just how does it change our perspective on today?

    • Nobody but Yourself

      A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words.

      This may sound easy. It isn’t.

      A lot of people think or believe or know they feel — but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling — not knowing or believing or thinking.

      Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.

      To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
      — e.e. cummings, “A Poet’s Advice to Students”

      To be ourself in a world that wants us to fall in line isn’t easy. After all, we are part of the tribe, the community, and the history of humanity. All that we see and encounter draws something out of us that we may not have felt otherwise. Just where is that line where the average of everyone else get crossed to simply, “ourself”? Remember in such moments this line in the quote above, “whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.”

      To feel is the thing. Nobody else feels what we feel. Nobody else brings the whole of their experience together, stirs it about in their soul and exudes the identity that is us. Nobody but us. So it follows that we ought to be aware of what we’re feeling, not just what we’re hearing and seeing and reading. What we feel hints at who we are. Give that room to breathe and grow.

      Most of us don’t fancy ourselves poets. Yet we may live a poetic life full of heightened awareness of the self and all that surrounds and influences us. Poetry is feeling. To “squeeze the marrow out of life” as Henry David Thoreau put it, we must be fully aware and alive. Give life a squeeze. See how it feels. Learn and grow and become nobody else but yourself.

    • Do It

      “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” — Pablo Picasso

      We grow into ourselves by stretches and the occasional leap. Now some people leap all the time, and become known as either bold or reckless, depending on how they land. Most of us test the waters a bit, see if it makes sense to move in this new direction, and work our way there gradually. A few never leave the nest at all, choosing familiarity and comfort over reaching for their own potential.

      So what do we do with habits that work for us, when we know that to grow we must break patterns and try new things? Delay? Dabble? Dive right in? We’re each unique in our willingness to try new things by letting familiar old things go.

      I think the moment we ask ourselves if we ought to try something new, we ought to take the first step towards that new. And then the next. Venturing more and more into the unknown to discover something about it and ourselves that we felt was possible all along. As that character Yoda put it, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Learn as we go. Do it.

    • Roll Clear

      People are worn away with
      striving,
      they hide in common
      habits.
      their concerns are herd
      concerns.

      Few have the ability to stare
      at an old shoe for
      ten minutes
      or to think of odd things
      like who invented the
      doorknob?

      they become unalive
      because they are unable to
      pause
      undo themselves
      unkink
      unsee
      unlearn
      roll clear.
      listen to their untrue
      laughter, then
      walk
      away.
      — Charles Bukowski, the area of pause

      I haven’t quoted the entire poem, just the part that jumped out at me today. Today is the tomorrow of yesterday, which was full of business talk and bold declarations of working to the last. I grow silent in such moments. Listening? Respectfully, but already turning away from the conversation in my mind.

      We all know that old expression, “If you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life”. I view work as a transactional relationship. I’m all in when I’m in it, and I keep it at arm’s length when I’m not. Wherever I am, I strive to be aware and alive. I believe that this will apply equally well in retirement one day.

      One old industry friend is counting down his final 40 days to retirement. Another was beginning a new job, hungry for the adrenaline hit of being the new guy once again. Both are older than me, looking at their careers in entirely different ways from each other. And maybe from me too. I don’t aspire to longevity in my tenure, I aspire to breadth and depth in a life well-lived. If that betrays me as something other than fully-committed, then so be it. I view that as fog of war stuff, for those who drink too much Kool-Aid.

      Every day offers a retirement of sorts. We leave work behind or we don’t. We may walk away, I say! Roll clear of all that has a hold of us and breathe in the fresh air of a new perspective. Life is change, and our next chapter awaits. Rester soi-même—be yourself. Wherever we may be on this journey through time.

    • More Hit Than Miss

      “Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work’s the curse of the drinking classes.” — Oscar Wilde

      Have you been waiting for this blog to be published? I’m not so self-absorbed to believe it so. But I know there are a few folks who confirm I’m still among the living by registering when the blog is released. So here it is, better late than never.

      The day will end, that’s for sure
      I wonder, how do we keep score?
      through projects completed and bonuses racked
      or magic acquired in this time stacked?

      This blog leans more towards poetry the later in the day I begin writing it. Perhaps a sign to keep writing in the earliest hours of the day. Whatever the consensus, I’ve posted one more, such that it is. Perhaps tomorrow will be more hit than miss?

      Cheers.

    • The Steady Ascent

      “The main reason to produce something every day is that you must throw away a lot of good work to reach the good stuff. To let it all go easily, you need to be convinced that there is ‘more where that came from’. You get that in steady production.”
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      Amusement parks may have Lightning Pass lanes, and tourist attractions may have a “Skip the Line” scheme (there’s always a line, it’s just a little shorter), but the work that we produce in a lifetime has no such option. Getting to the good stuff isn’t accomplished without putting in the time.

      Sure, I hear the call of Artificial Intelligence (AI) filling the gap between apprenticeship and mastery. Maybe research and first drafts don’t have to be so tedious. But there are lessons in the grind, and the willing student reaches wisdom not found in AI efficiency.

      The Mona Lisa wasn’t painted in a couple of days. Leonardo da Vinci carried that portrait with him for the rest of his life, adding touches, refining the work, ignoring it and coming back to it. It was never really completed before he passed, it simply reached its final state of being. That state happens to be masterful; A pet project that became the most famous painting in the world.

      Writing every day is sometimes a grind, but it teaches and informs the writer. We may publish regularly or be forever polishing our master work. Unlike our friend da Vinci, we ought to ship our work regularly, that we may move on to something else. The good stuff is earned daily. The great stuff is just over the next rise, awaiting our ascent. If we keep climbing.

    • Rules to Live By

      In the morning, always hydrate before caffeinating, always do both before eating anything.

      Later in the day, always hydrate and eat something before drinking alcohol.

      Eat protein before carbs. Make those carbs as complex as palatable.

      Write before the day becomes insane. Even when you feel you’ll have time later, life doesn’t play by the same rules.

      Same goes for exercise.

      Breath through your nose far more than your mouth.

      Learn CPR.

      Focus on one task at a time. Multi-tasking is nothing but partial focus on too many things.

      Listen. When two people are talking at the same time, nothing is heard. If two people are attempting to talk to you at the same time, make eye contact with the one who initiated the conversation until they’ve stated what they wanted to say, then make eye contact with the other. They’ll both feel heard, and maybe learn to respect boundaries.

      Chaos knows no boundaries. Back away from chaos.

      Know where the exits are. Not just the door you walked in through, but the other exits. If you don’t see another viable exit, you are in the wrong place.

      There is energy in a crowd, but never be caught in the middle should things go terribly wrong. Don’t live in fear, simply be aware.

      Always read a book before turning on the television or doom-scrolling. Ten pages a day will change your life. More as time allows.

      Read classic books. They’re classics for a reason.

      Stretch more frequently than you believe you need to.

      Schedule physicals, dental appointments and physical therapy first thing in the morning, before life beats you and them down.

      Pack light. Layers. Socks stuffed in the shoes. Leave half of what you want to take behind so you have room in your bag to bring something home with you.

      Don’t buy souvenirs that won’t make you miss the place you bought it at. This automatically eliminates airport gift shops and Soft as a Grape stores.

      Call your mother. She’ll appreciate it more than she’ll let on.

      Call your father too. Don’t just ask Mom to pass the phone. He’d call you more often himself, but he wants you to stop clinging to the nest and fly (He loves to watch you soar).

      Visit a cemetery and remember those who are no longer with us. Memento mori.

      Live as if you were dying. You don’t have to listen to the song to embrace the philosophy.

      Instead of sleeping in, go to bed earlier.

      Take all advice given freely for what it’s worth.

    • Be Luminous

      May the 4th be with you. I won’t attempt to top Seth Godin’s blog post today, but I will endorse his call to equanimity and a bias towards action. True leadership begins with control of the self. The best examples of this are hiding in plain sight in quiet leaders, no matter their title, doing what needs to be done.

      “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” — Yoda

      Today, of all days, feed the spark within. Give it oxygen and space to grow. We may be measured and earnest in our bias towards action. Countless possibilities await our next move. Be luminous.

    • The Price of Proximity

      Is your figure less than Greek?
      Is your mouth a little weak?
      When you open it to speak
      Are you smart?
      — Richard Rodgers & Lorenz Hart, My Funny Valentine

      I know a couple who have been married longer than I’ve been alive. When one of them gets tired of each other’s company they turn off their hearing aids so they don’t have to listen to the other. They’ve heard it all before, and how many times does someone have to tell us the same story again anyway? Funny, but they focus on each other when they need to.

      We know couples who stay together out of habit, or obligation, or because they feel it’s better than being alone. We know couples forever in love with life and flying around in each other’s orbit. And love is indeed a wonderful thing, but what is the foundation under all that loftiness? When we decide on a partnership that will last a lifetime, what is more important than listening to what each other has to say? To be a part of the scheme as we follow our dream?

      “The opposite of love’s indifference.” — The Lumineers, Stubborn Love

      To be interested in the life of another for the rest of our lives is the key to a long relationship. That applies to friendship, marriage, business partnerships and pen pals. We may hear the same stories again and again, but that’s the price of proximity. There are precious few days with which we may be together on this march to infinity. So what is it you want to say? I’m listening.

    • Evidence of Action

      Success is failure turned inside out –
      The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
      And you never can tell how close you are,
      It might be near when it seems afar;
      So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
      It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
      — John Greenleaf Whittier, Don’t Quit

      There are weeks when everything is asked of us, and when we feel we are completely maxed out, we are asked for a little more still. As the old expression goes, when you want something done, ask a busy person. And so it is that life offers a state of busier. We must never aspire to busy. We should aspire to productive, and efficient, and thorough in our quest to get things done. Life is full of choices for how to live.

      Busy doesn’t really matter. All that matters is what we do with our time. To quit anything is to concede that the time spent led us to a dead end. A dead end isn’t the end, it’s simply a lesson that is ours to learn if we choose to. We go on for ourselves—to validate the passage we have embarked upon, to honor our future self with the work we do today, to write our verse, such that it is.

      There simply isn’t enough time to do it all. There will be more no’s than yeses in this lifetime. Yet we may do what needs to be done. We are creating evidence of action with everything we do. That which we publish, that which we produce, those that rely upon us to follow through on what we’ve promised? It’s all evidence of a full life. One at a time, whether we’re busy or not. What’s done is done, what’s not is not. So don’t quit just yet.