Alexandersmap

    Month: May 2023

    • Tropical Rewind

      Hey, stop talking, think I can hear the sea.
      And did I tell you the sound of the surf
      Makes strange things happen to me.
      — Del Amitri, Here and Now

      There’s nothing better than an off-season beach, save perhaps an off-season beach in the tropics. Celebrating a quiet beach is best accomplished in the early morning light, when magic happens in the universe, but only witnessed by those who make the pilgrimage. The advantage of a tropical beach is in the warm breezes and even warmer ocean water. An off-season beach in northern climates has all of the beauty, but is served with a frigid sting. Such things matter when you linger in a place by the sea.

      Walking the beach in St. Kitts well before the dancers of the night before ever thought to awaken, I had no souls to keep me company but the sea birds, a stray dog and an inquisitive cat. Warm tropical breezes offered a different experience than the norm for me. It’s an experience you can certainly get used to very quickly. This explains why so many move to the tropics. But we all know that everything loses its magic if you get too used to it. At least that’s what I told myself as I walked back from the beach to face reality once again.

      [Postscript: This post was written but never made it out of international waters. The streak of writing is alive, the streak of posting is subject to interpretation.]

    • To Be a Good Ancestor

      It’s understood that our ancestors lived in a time of darkness and brutality mixed with enlightenment and progress. History is a process of confronting and accepting the evidence we stumble across as we explore the path of humanity. We aren’t a perfect species, but we can make incremental progress towards a better world. We cannot judge ourselves today based on the actions of our ancestors, but we can learn and apply that knowledge towards a better future. This of course applies to the individual as much as the collective species. In either case, progress is active work.

      Our ancestors were the best and worst of us. We are the sum of that history: the survivors, antagonists and witnesses rolled into an underlying identity we either celebrate or work to change. We are the latest revision of our species, and the trick, as Kevin Kelly puts it, is to be good ancestors for futures generations. Just as a scale and the mirror inform us of our progress towards fitness, our work and what we invest our time and energy into determine tangible progress for our collective future.

      History suggests steady progress, even as the news suggests a spiral downward. The only thing certain is that we have our verse to be written. What we do with the opportunity is up to us.

    • Sea Foam Consultation

      I go down to the shore in the morning
      and depending on the hour the waves
      are rolling in or moving out,
      and I say, oh, I am miserable,
      what shall—
      what should I do? And the sea says
      in its lovely voice:
      Excuse me, I have work to do. — Mary Oliver

      The ocean is indifferent to our schemes and stumbles. We go to her for consultation or consolation, and she offers all the time in the world. But the answers are ours to find.

      Every morning, when the ocean is nearby, I walk down to the surf line and think about the day ahead. I wonder at my solitude as the sun rises to meet me. Why doesn’t everyone seek what I seek? The ocean whispers her reply: we each have our time. We only have agency to question our own.

    • A Visit to the Montpelier Plantation & Beach, Nevis

      “Montpelier history dates back to 1687 when Sir Hans Sloane, Secretary of the Royal Society of England and a doctor, visited Nevis and discovered this location. A hundred years later, history gave this small Caribbean island prominence far beyond its size. Although many epic battles were orchestrated from Montpelier, this estate became famous for love. Montpelier Plantation witnessed the marriage of Horatio Nelson, famous for his service in the Royal Navy, to Frances “Fanny” Nisbet, niece of the president of Nevis, John Herbert.” — Montpelier Plantation & Beach

      The Montpelier Plantation & Beach has seen a few things in its time. This is a place full of magic, full of stories dating back to the earliest days of British colonialism. A place of enormous wealth generation through subjugation and slavery. A place where countless souls passed through, some forever famous, most forever anonymous. This sugar plantation in the hills of Nevis doesn’t just whisper history, it reverberates history, and at times wrote it.

      There is a weeping fig tree greeting you as you enter the grounds that appears to be as old as the plantation. I’m told it was planted in 1966, apparently a very good year for vibrant growth. The tree has thrived, and is one of the most iconic things you’ll encounter here. But not the only thing. Just a few steps away are the ruins of the old sugar mill, prominently declaring the darker history of the plantation, even as it offers a beautiful backdrop for photographs and private meals within.

      Walking around the quiet, meticulously landscaped grounds, you quickly realize why so many famous people have flocked here, most famously Princess Diana after her divorce from Charles. This is a place to escape from the world and all its madness. When you’re here you separate yourself from timelines altogether, and immerse yourself in something beyond the immediacy of your own life. It’s a place to reset and revise your story.

      It should be mentioned that the food is extraordinary here, exceeding expectations for fine dining. It’s accompanied by excellent service from a friendly staff who know just how to make a moment special. You feel a sense of place here, and become a part of it with your visit. The Montpelier Plantation can be thought of as a time machine, or maybe it should be thought of as a timeless wonder.

    • Thoughts From An Early Morning Starbucks Line

      Standing in line at a grocery store or a restaurant, or waiting for the time to eat, we don’t need to waste our time. We don’t need to “wait” for one second. Instead, we can enjoy breathing in and out for our nourishment and healing. We can use that time to notice that we will soon be able to have food, and we can be happy and grateful during that time. Instead of waiting, we can generate joy.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

      We’re all working to process something in our lives—big and small things alike. This morning I was processing the benefits and drawbacks to skipping sleep for an early morning flight. It’s not my first rodeo when it comes to such things, and nothing that happens today will shake my belief that starting your day before the world wakes up offers a necessary head start.

      I contemplated this in the Starbucks line, chock full of groggy caffeine junkies looking for enlightenment, or maybe just a lifeline to the day. I didn’t need a lifeline, merely validation of a long-held habit of coffee equalling go. Standing in line, I recalled the gist of Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, if not verbatim, and settled into a quiet celebration of life. The coffee surely stimulated the conversation between the ears later, but why wait? Life is now, caffeinated or not.

      Some minor travel-related inconveniences like a slow moving line are no reason to grumble. It wasn’t long ago when we missed the close proximity of a crowd. Traveling again is a reason for joy, and so too is reviewing an early start to the day while awaiting the miracle of coffee.

    • Living a Noble Life

      “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” ― Marcus Aurelius

      Despite a list of imperfections and shortcomings longer than it ought to be, most of us strive to live a noble life. Being a good person in this world is surely something to aspire to, but we might look at it as a foundation to build upon instead of our sole objective. Put another way, being good should be a verb: yes, we are each good people, so what do we do with that?

      This action-oriented application of living a noble life is an evolution born of awareness. We grow into proactive goodness at our own pace. Some people are there from the womb, some never quite release themselves from the reflection in the mirror, the rest of us fall somewhere in between. A noble life is reaching beyond ourselves in service of the greater good. Surely something to aspire to in our quest for a life of purpose and fulfillment.

    • The Joy of Throwing Axes

      When you think about the combined activities of drinking alcoholic beverages and throwing axes around in a room, one might fairly ask the question, “what’s the worst that could happen?” and come up with some cringe-worthy images. Yet humans have been throwing sharp objects while drinking for as long as there have been humans and sharp objects to throw. We’ve just moved the throwing of said objects into a controlled environment.

      The act of throwing an axe is surprisingly easy and intuitive. If you closed your eyes for a moment and imagined throwing an axe you’d likely have a proper go of it on your first attempt. And so it is in when you’ve lubed your brain with a beverage or two. Rest assured there’s always an adult hovering around to make sure the basics are covered. Basics like proper respect for a deadly object.

      Axe throwing is done in a cage. The host accepts your money, has you sign away any liability and sprays the cork wall with water to moisten it, so that the axes sink in more often than bounce off the target (I’m guessing it also extends the life of the cork). After a few minutes of basic instruction, you go about throwing axes.

      The axes themselves are light stainless steel in a couple of sizes, so you don’t have to be Conan to throw the axe. The target itself is projected onto the cork, giving you a clear idea of what you’re throwing at. As with darts, you can receive progressively more points the closer to the center you get, but as with Skee Ball there are a couple of enticing small targets where you can score higher if you hit them or much lower if you miss. The rules of the arcade and life apply: It’s all about risk and reward. If you’ve played either darts or Skee Ball you’ll know where to throw. And that’s a good thing, because after all, people are drinking.

      The act of throwing an axe and sticking it into the wall is profoundly satisfying and exhilerating. Our ancestors would be proud of us, sort of, for keeping the family trade alive. Or maybe they’d look around and wonder why they bothered to keep the gene pool going with all that fighting and impaling back in the day. Still, I bet they’d be a ringer in a game of axe throwing.

      This may seem a trivial pursuit, and perhaps a trivial blog post too. Then again, life is about plucking joyful moments out of thin air. With all the stress and darkness in the world, it’s fun to do something completely primordial and delightfully analog. Go throw an axe—I dare you not to smile from ear-to-ear.

    • Juggling Less

      “Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—family, health, friends, integrity—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” ― Gary Keller, The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results

      We all juggle so much in our days, and prioritize the things that feel most urgent in the moment. Sometimes these are the most important things too, but often they’re simply the most urgent. Living in a state of urgency is no way to go through life. Sooner or later we’ll drop the ball on something central to our core. Deep down, we know what we’re losing our grip on while we try to juggle everything else.

      Coming back to the central questions helps: what is our why? Why are we here? What is the point of our being, here and now? What are we building towards—what are we becoming? And in the process of becoming, what are receding from? For we simply cannot stretch in every direction, we must choose what to move towards and what to move away from.

      Taking the time to reflect on these things is a lens that clarifies what to prioritize. When we see what is most essential to us it makes our daily choices obvious. The chorus of urgent will always try to steal our time, our momentum, our health and our identity. We have to prioritize our essential. The answer may be less juggling.

    • That Person in the Middle

      We each build our identity through our actions—on the people we become through our habits and relationships. As Jim Rohn pointed out, we are the average of the five people we associate with the most. There’s a lot of truth in this observation. The people around us influence us, and amplify our own actions and beliefs as we in turn influence them.

      So what happens when the people we associate with the most begin to fall away? Someone fills the void, or perhaps nobody does, but either way the dynamic has changed. The pandemic surely taught us that relationships and routines are fragile things indeed. What we lean into when our circle begins to fall away will define who we become next. Our core identity often rises to the occasion in such moments, and it’s up to us to decide whether we like who that person is. Every day is an opportunity to change the story.

      The thing is, we have agency. We may yet decide what to be and go be it. Stasis isn’t our natural state, by it’s very nature it’s what we settle for. We ought to stop settling and continue becoming. There’s more story to be written for us, friend. Consider Gordon Lightfoot, who just passed away. He was a notorious drinker, until he decided not to be. He became healthy and active when he changed the people he spent his time with:

      “I love Canada. I’ve traveled all over the North in various canoe expeditions. Fortunately, I… fell in with a group of people about 30 years ago who were into canoe trips. I got into it and over a period of about 15 years I did ten trips. I’ve done a lot of the major rivers in Northern Canada — the Coppermine, the Back River, the Nahanni, the Churchill. I feel very fortunate about being born in Canada. Never really wanted to leave.” — Gordon Lightfoot, “Gordon Lightfoot on Meeting Miles, Canadian Canoe Trips and That One Time with Ozzy”, The Exclaim! Questionnaire

      There’s a heavy dose of identity in these words. Not just about being Canadian, but about being out there exploring the wilderness of Canada. This is a man who became something far more than a heavy-drinking musician. It almost certainly extended his active lifetime by many years.

      And what of us? What is our identity, and who are we becoming through our associations and habits? We must continue to play an active role in writing a story worthy of a lifetime, for our entire lifetime. People inevitably come and go in our time. What we’ll always have is the person in the middle.

    • RIP, Gordon Lightfoot

      The legends of music are falling like autumn leaves now. Each one a gut punch of nostalgia and loss. I’d hoped to see Gordon Lightfoot this year, but he cancelled his tour just a few weeks before passing away last night. It felt like the end was near for him, and here we are. It’s a lesson to each of us—never postpone for tomorrow what you might do now. I passed on many opportunities to see Lightfoot in concert, I just put it off for another day that will never come. So it is.

      Lightfoot got me through a few dark days in my 20’s, back when a relationship was falling apart and I was figuring out what to do with myself next. He could make you feel like he’d written the song with you in mind, with a silky smooth voice to sooth the most restless spirit. Here are just four of Gordon Lightfoot’s songs that have meant a lot to me in my life:

      If You Could Read My Mind
      If you could read my mind, love
      What a tale my thoughts could tell
      Just like an old time movie
      ‘Bout a ghost from a wishing well
      In a castle dark or a fortress strong
      With chains upon my feet
      But stories always end
      And if you read between the lines
      You’ll know that I’m just trying to understand
      The feelings that you lack

      The breakup song to end all breakup songs. The anthem of the jilted. And one of the most beautiful songs ever written. This is the song that everyone will reference when they talk of the loss of Gordon Lightfoot. It’s the song that made his career, and it will always be the entry point for so many into his catalog of songs.

      Wherefore And Why
      Then all at once it came to me
      I saw the wherefore
      And you can see it if you try
      It’s in the sun above
      It’s in the one you love
      You’ll never know the reason why

      Deeper into Gord’s catalog, we find this amazing song of hope, resilience and purpose. Sometimes the answer isn’t out there on the road, it’s right at home. I think of this song sometimes as the sun rises and I greet the new day.

      Song For A Winter’s Night
      If I could only have you near
      To breathe a sigh or two
      I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
      On this winter night with you

      When those we love are absent from our lives, what are we to do with ourselves? This is a song of longing framed within beautiful lyrics and melody. We’ve all felt this way, alone and missing someone. Wishing it weren’t so.

      The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
      Does any one know where the love of God goes
      When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
      The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
      If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
      They might have split up or they might have capsized
      They may have broke deep and took water
      And all that remains is the faces and the names
      Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

      A song that memorialized the lives of a crew caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, like so many sailors before and since. It’s timeless and epic and a bigger sound than anything else in Lightfoot’s catalog. You turn this one up loud and sing along, and appreciate that it wasn’t you on that ship as everything went wrong.