Alexandersmap

    Month: December 2023

    • Some Years

      Forever alive, forever forward,
      Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied,
      Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
      They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go,
      But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.
      — Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road

      Some years feel monumental for the changes that wash over us. Some years feel like nothing happened worth writing home about. For the former, lessons in living life anew. For the latter, a tap on the shoulder that maybe now is the time to shake things up a bit and step outside of the familiar. We only have so many some years to work with.

      Heading into a new year, what are we to make of it? It can’t be more of the same for us, for everything changes all the time. Even what feels familiar and constant is changing, just at a slower rate than the world around that thing. I look around at the house I’ve lived in for what feels like forever and everything but the framing and windows has changed over and over again. Change is indeed a constant, reliable dynamic that we either must surf or be swept away by. We’ve all shown ourselves to be able surfers thus far.

      What makes a life great? Isn’t it the experiences we have with the people we surround ourselves with? Everything in life is an interaction between the inner self and the universe that surrounds us. To have lived well in this shell of a body is to have engaged actively with the world and to draw something from it, that we may grow for as long as we can.

      All years come and go. We advance with the years, forever alive, forever forward. Some years stand out as more memorable than others. Like a puzzle, the full picture doesn’t emerge until we put in the time. As the picture of the year that was is completed, we realize that there’s a larger puzzle still in the works. All our days make a picture—the sum of our lives. We must keep advancing towards something great, even if we can’t quite see it in ourselves. We must decide what to be and go be it.

    • Picked Up Pieces 2023: Insights From Books Read

      2023 was full of both wonder and horror, depending on which direction you were looking in and how immersed you were in your personal corner of the world. The news doesn’t help any of us live a more introspective, insightful life. For that we need to open ourselves to new experiences or dive deeper into the pond we’re swimming in already. We ought to be more aware, more open to change, more engaged and more adventurous in our days. And yes, we ought to read more, for the doors books open for us into worlds we’d never experience otherwise.

      As with every year, there’s only so many books you can fit in, so we ought to make them worthwhile. This is not a “best of 2023” list, but ten of the books I found most enlightening and informative. There are no fictional novels on this list, but rest assured, some of my favorite books of the year were fiction. This was a year of personal growth, and the reading reflects that. Every book we read is a stepping stone to more books. We, in turn, become what we focus on the most. It’s no mystery that that theme comes up a few times in this list.

      Brad Stulberg, The Practice of Groundedness
      We must shake ourselves loose from the frantic pursuit of everything and ground ourselves in the things that matter most in our lives. Steady, focused attention on the essential moves us closer to becoming who we want to be.

      “When we strive to be everywhere and do everything, we tend to feel like we’re not fully experiencing anything. If we’re not careful and protective of our attention, it can seem like we’re losing control of our lives, bouncing from one distraction to the next.”

      “Most breakthroughs rest upon a long-standing foundation of steady and consistent effort. For so many of the meaningful endeavors in our lives, the best way to move fast is to go about it slowly, to proceed with a gentle yet firm persistence.”

      Gary Keller, The One Thing
      We can’t possibly master everything. We must decide who we will become and focus our attention on achieving it.
      “Our purpose sets our priority and our priority determines the productivity our actions produce.”

      “One of our biggest challenges is making sure our life’s purpose doesn’t become a beggar’s bowl, a bottomless pit of desire continually searching for the next thing that will make us happy.”
      “Pick a direction, start marching down that path, and see how you like it. Time brings clarity and if you find you don’t like it, you can always change your mind. It’s your life.”

      “When you can see mastery as a path you go down instead of a destination you arrive at, it starts to feel accessible and attainable. Most assume mastery is an end result, but at its core, mastery is a way of thinking, a way of acting, and a journey you experience.”

      Arthur C. Brooks, From Strength to Strength: Finding success, happiness, and deep purpose in the second half of life
      We will all face a decline in our fluid intelligence and physical ability. The good news is we can reinvent ourselves to maximize the talents developed over our lifetime. This is expressed as our crystalized intelligence, optimized for our latest stage of life.

      “Here is the reality: in practically every high-skill profession, decline sets in sometime between one’s late thirties and early fifties. Sorry, I know that stings. And it gets worse: the more accomplished one is at the peak of one’s career, the more pronounced decline seems once it has set in.”

      “If your career relies solely on fluid intelligence, it’s true that you will peak and decline pretty early. But if your career requires crystallized intelligence—or if you can repurpose your professional life to rely more on crystallized intelligence—your peak will come later but your decline will happen much, much later, if ever.”

      “You must be prepared to walk away from these achievements and rewards before you feel ready. The decline in your fluid intelligence is a sign that it is time not to rage, which just doubles down on your unsatisfying attachments and leads to frustration. Rather, it is time to scale up your crystallized intelligence, use your wisdom, and share it with others.”

      Pico Iyer, The Half Known Life : In Search of Paradise
      Human history is a quest a search for that elusive paradise, or heaven on earth. The trouble is we don’t see it when we have it, and we tend to destroy it in our embrace.

      “As soon as I came of age, I posted myself full-time in the New World, and started inhaling the gospel of possibility as it came to me through Emerson and Thoreau. Why look to old Europe and the wisdom of conventions? they reminded me: we are wiser than we know, if only we can awaken to a sense of all that lies beyond our knowledge.”

      “A true paradise has meaning only after one has outgrown all notions of perfection and taken the measure of the fallen world.”

      “Reality is neither an insult nor an aberration, but the partner with whom we have to make our lives.”

      “In Japan a cemetery is known as a “city of tomorrow.”

      Bill Perkins, Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life
      The three currencies in our life are time, money and health. Each stage of life offers an abundance of one or two of the three, but rarely all of them. We must maximize each stage of life based on the currency available to us.

      “Unlike school years and round-trip vacations, the end points of most periods in our lives come and go without much fanfare. The periods may overlap, but sooner or later each one comes to an end. Because of this eventual finality of all of life’s passing phases, you can delay some experiences for only so long before the window of opportunity on these experiences shuts forever.”

      “Being aware that your time is limited can clearly motivate you to make the most of the time you do have.”

      “The more traditional bucket list is usually put together by an older individual who, when confronted with their mortality, begins to scratch out a list of activities and pursuits they not only haven’t done yet but now feel compelled to do quickly, before time runs out. By contrast, by dividing goals into time buckets, you are taking a much more proactive approach to your life. In effect, you’re looking ahead over several coming decades of your life and trying to plan out all the various activities, events, and experiences you’d like to have. Time buckets are proactive and let you plan your life; a bucket list, on the other hand, is a much more reactive effort in a sudden race against time.”

      Edith Hamilton, The Greek Way
      We have a lifetime to develop our character, with each day an opportunity to find something within us that is divine. Life is meant to be a joyful quest for excellence. The ancient Greeks, flawed as they were, rose to develop greatness within themselves and left a template for humanity.

      “We are composite creatures, made up of soul and body, mind and spirit. When men’s attention is fixed upon one to the disregard of the others, human beings result who are only partially developed, their eyes blinded to half of what life offers and the great world holds.”

      “If we had no other knowledge of what the Greeks were like, if nothing were left of Greek art and literature, the fact that they were in love with play and played magnificently would be proof enough of how they lived and how they looked at life. Wretched people, toiling people, do not play.”

      “To rejoice in life, to find the world beautiful and delightful to live in, was a mark of the Greek spirit which distinguished it from all that had gone before. It is a vital distinction. The joy of life is written upon everything the Greeks left behind and they who leave it out of account fail to reckon with something that is of first importance in understanding how the Greek achievement came to pass in the world of antiquity.”

      “Character is a Greek word, but it did not mean to the Greeks what it means to us. To them it stood first for the mark stamped upon the coin, and then for the impress of this or that quality upon a man, as Euripides speaks of the stamp—character—of valor upon Hercules, man the coin, valor the mark imprinted on him. To us a man’s character is that which is peculiarly his own; it distinguishes each one from the rest. To the Greeks it was a man’s share in qualities all men partake of; it united each one to the rest. We are interested in people’s special characteristics, the things in this or that person which are different from the general. The Greeks, on the contrary, thought what was important in a man were precisely the qualities he shared with all mankind. The distinction is a vital one. Our way is to consider each separate thing alone by itself; the Greeks always saw things as parts of a whole, and this habit of mind is stamped upon everything they did.”

      John Stevens, Zen Bow, Zen Arrow: The Life and Teachings of Awa Kenzo, the Archery Master from Zen in the Art of Archery
      Eliminate clutter from the mind and focus on that which is most essential in the moment.

      “If your mind
      Targets your soul,
      You can abandon the ego with no self,
      And make
      Each day anew.”

      “Continue to progress, do not stagnate. Consider a spinning top. It moves around a stable center. It spins and spins until finally falling over, exhausted.”

      Winifred Gallagher, Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life
      Focus is the essential ingredient to creativity and effectiveness. Carve out the time necessary to do anything of consequence.

      “Paying attention to positive emotions literally expands your world, while focusing on negative feelings shrinks it—a fact that has important implications for your daily experience.”

      “Attention, from the Latin for “reach toward,” is the most basic ingredient in any relationship, from a casual friendship to a lifelong marriage. Giving and receiving the undivided sort, however briefly, is the least that one person can do for another and sometimes the most.”

      “If most of the time you’re not particularly concerned about whether what you’re doing is work or play, or even whether you’re happy or not, you know you’re living the focused life.”

      “Because your remembering self pays attention to your thoughts about your life, rather than to the thing itself, it can be difficult to evaluate the quality of your own experience accurately.”

      “Of creativity’s many integers, attention is one of the most important. Whether your form of expression involves concocting a sauce, decorating a room, or writing a poem, you need both an active, exploratory focus on the matter at hand and the long-term concentration required to gain the knowledge and skills that support true mastery.”

      Brian P. Moran, The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months
      We can do far more than we think we can by creating a sense of urgency and immediacy to our work.

      “We mistakenly believe that there is a lot of time left in the year, and we act accordingly. We lack a sense of urgency, not realizing that every week is important, every day is important, every moment is important. Ultimately, effective execution happens daily and weekly!”

      “The end of the year represents a line in the sand, a point at which we measure our success or failure. Never mind that it’s an arbitrary deadline; everyone buys into it. It is the deadline that creates the urgency.”

      “Periodization began as an athletic training technique designed to dramatically improve performance. Its principles are focus, concentration, and overload on a specific skill or discipline.”

      “Without a compelling reason to choose otherwise, most people will take comfortable actions over uncomfortable ones. The issue is that the important actions are often the uncomfortable ones.”

      “The one thing that moves the universe is action.”

      Will & Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History
      History repeats, and we must be diligent in learning the lessons of history that we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.

      “The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character, the only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionists are philosophers and saints.”

      “In England and the United States, in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, in Switzerland and Canada, democracy is today sounder than ever before. It has defended itself with courage and energy against the assaults of foreign dictatorship, and has not yielded to dictatorship at home. But if war continues to absorb and dominate it, or if the itch to rule the world requires a large military establishment and appropriation, the freedoms of democracy may one by one succumb to the discipline of arms and strife. If race or class war divides us into hostile camps, changing political argument into blind hate, one side or the other may overturn the hustings with the rule of the sword. If our economy of freedom fails to distribute wealth as ably as it has created it, the road to dictatorship will be open to any man who can persuasively promise security to all; and a martial government, under whatever charming phrases, will engulf the democratic world.”

    • That Which is Moved By Itself

      “All soul is immortal. For that which is always in movement is immortal; that which moves something else, and is moved by something else, in ceasing from movement ceases from living. So only that which moves itself, because it does not abandon itself, never stops moving. But it is also source and first principle of movement for the other things which move. Now a first principle is something which does not come into being. For all that comes into being must come into being from a first principle, but a first principle itself cannot come into being from anything at all; for if a first principle came into being from anything, it would not do so from a first principle. Since it is something that does not come into being, it must also be something which does not perish. For if a first principle is destroyed, neither will it ever come into being from anything itself nor will anything else come into being from it, given that all things must come into being from a first principle. It is in this way, then, that that which moves itself is a first principle of movement. It is not possible for this either to be destroyed or to come into being, or else the whole universe and the whole of that which comes to be might collapse together and come to a halt, and never again have a source from which things will be moved and come to be. And since that which is moved by itself has been shown to be immortal, it will incur no shame to say that this is the essence and the definition of the soul” ― Plato, Phaedrus

      “Greece’s great men let all their acts turn on the immortality of the soul. We don’t really act as if we believed in the soul’s immortality and that’s why we are where we are today.” ― Edith Hamilton

      The immortality of the soul is not a topic to be taken lightly. There are all sorts of questions that come to mind when we really think about our souls and things beyond ourselves. We might lean into religion for the safety of structure. We might lean into philosophy and the rigidity of full-on debate about such things as first principles. We might meditate or walk in the wilderness or stare down steep waves as we cross angry oceans on a quest for answers within. Whatever the path, we ought to keep moving forward towards personal insight and enlightenment.

      Living in the noise and fog of life is mere distraction. We grab for our share and maybe a little bit more. In all that vulgarity of shouting to be heard and finger-pointing and behind-the-scenes manipulation, where do we find time for personal reflection? Without silent contemplation, where is there room for a moment of clarity? Must every life be a power grab and a scramble for the top? That’s a great way to get kicked in the teeth. Yet we must fight for our place in a world that views every soul a pawn—mustn’t we?

      Human nature being what it is, there ought to be lane markers that keep us from straying towards our worst traits. There ought to be checks and balances and a code of conduct. And there ought to be laws based on morality and the common good. Fortunately, our ancestors learned from mistakes made and created the structure we need to coexist and grow. But humanity has a short memory and there’s always someone who will game the system in their favor. And so we must be diligent in holding our collective self to a higher standard. We tend to fall short now and then in this respect.

      And this is where our personal code of conduct becomes essential to living an enlightened, fulfilling life. We aren’t here to bruise and batter the soul in relentless pursuit of more, we’re here to nurture and grow our soul into something bigger and better than where we started. Immortality is a fools game for these frail bodies of ours, but the soul, well, we can live in such a way that we send it off with some momentum. Whatever comes next could surely use a better collection of souls to work with.

      With that in mind, we ought to keep trying to improve the soup we’re swimming in now as well. If this is the collection of souls that are following us for eternity, then we ought to do something in our brief lifetimes that moves the chains in profound and meaningful ways for the whole of humanity. To live our lives in such a way that our fellow inhabitants and future generations have something to hold onto in their time. We’re all in this together, marching towards immortal clarity.

      So we ought to do the right thing. Simple, right? We’ll know it when we take the time to feel it. It begins with knowing where we began and who we want to become. When viewed through the lens of an immortal soul that transcends our physical self, that clarity becomes more attainable. Think about the people we’ve known in our lifetimes who have transcended death. Their souls still warm us and help direct us in our lives. We, in turn, may shape our lives in such a way that we may carry that warmth and direction to others, who will then do the same for as long as there are human souls. That’s a path to immortality available to all of us.

    • On Magnanimity

      I left some money on the table yesterday. Money I’d earned a few times over, but which felt unfair to take given the rules of engagement we have in my work. I left it open for magnanimity for the recipients, but the only one being magnanimous was me. Does that make me a schmuck or honorable? What’s a little money when honor is at stake?

      I tell my children jokingly that we’re the donor class. We donate to everything, we pay taxes that billionaires don’t pay, we do the fundraisers to raise money and round up with our own cash to hit the charity’s target. We rise up to meet the moment at hand, and push the scarcity mindset aside. We’re either in this together or we’re a pack of wolves fighting for every scrap for ourselves. How do we want to live in this world?

      And so I aspire to magnanimity. I try to pay more than my share, I quietly support others on their path to greatness, and I generally let my actions do the talking (this blog post a notable exception). Isn’t that the very definition of having a generous spirit?

      magnanimity (n.)
      mid-14c., “loftiness of thought or purpose, greatness of mind or heart, habit of feeling and acting worthily under all circumstances,” from Old French magnanimité “high-mindedness, generosity of spirit,” from Latin magnanimitatem (nominative magnanimitas) “greatness of soul, high-mindedness,” from magnanimus “having a great soul,” from magnus “great” (from PIE root *meg- “great”) + animus “mind, soul, spirit” (see animus).
      Probably a loan-translation of Greek megalopsykhos “high-souled, generous” (Aristotle) or megathymus “great-hearted.” The narrower sense of “superiority to petty resentments or jealousies, generous disregard of injuries” (by 1771).

      To reach excellence (Areté), we must live excellently. That includes generosity of spirit and having a great soul. This isn’t showmanship, it’s a personal standard for living a great life in the time we have. When we rise up and lead by example, then the rest of society sees the way and may just rise up to a higher standard themselves.

      A personal code of conduct based on magnanimity sometimes has a price to pay, but in turn pays dividends with a far higher return. The more we live this way, the more momentum we have in our lives as we’re surrounded by like-minded souls. That truly is reaching excellence.

    • Our Sine Qua Non

      “Taking charge of your own learning is a part of taking charge of your life, which is the sine qua non in becoming an integrated person.” ― Warren Bennis

      Sine qua non (without which, not) is that essential ingredient in the recipe that brings everything else together. It’s not a phrase we’re likely to throw out there when we’re discussing the oil in the engine with our mechanic, but we can see how it could be. When applied to our identity, it’s the essence of who we are. When applied to who we might become, it’s the essential things that we must master within ourselves to close the gap and be that next person.

      Warren Bennis was one of the first business gurus I followed early in my career. I’d fancied myself a leader and his books on leadership were insightful and inspiring. There was a big gap between where I was in my career and where I thought I ought to be, but knowing that gap we begin to make choices that bring us closer to where we want to be. Remove the corporate aspirations, as I eventually did, and we’re left with a credo for personal leadership in any situation. We take charge of our lives when we embrace our own personal growth.

      So what of becoming an integrated person? What exactly does that demand of us? Isn’t it another way of saying we’re fully optimizing ourselves? This requires balance in our fitness, in our relationships, in spirituality and in whatever it is that calls us to greatness in our craft. Everything we become is an output of what we bring in, processed by that great differentiator that is our essential identity, and placed out in the world for the world to try to understand.

      We are each unique actors—we all have our verse, as Whitman put it—and we each grow into ourselves. All while dancing with the world as the character we are in that moment. Our essence remains the same, but we change over time. Some change is deliberate (decide what to be and go be it), some is environmental (we are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with) and some is born within us as natural talent or inclination that we lean into as it speaks to us. The trick is to keep growing in ways that makes us more complete.

      Sine qua non is a useful lens through which to view our growth: Without learning this, I will not become that. Without doing this exercise more consistently, I will never get to a point where I can do that other thing. Without writing every day I’ll never develop the self-understanding and proficiency to both know myself and to grow in the craft I aspire to master. Each “without” points towards the essence of what must be to become what we may be.

      As we close out yet another year on the planet, we begin to think about the possibility of whom we might become in the next year. There’s a place in our lives for the well-timed leap, but we ought to remember that big leaps can be bruising if we don’t land where we anticipated. Leaps are often a sign of impatience with where we are versus where we want to be. Small, incremental improvements seem to be the best way to close gaps. We can then naturally step across that once-daunting chasm towards what we want to become.

    • Intentions vs. Routines

      “You don’t make art out of good intentions.” ― Gustave Flaubert

      Our routines and systems determine what we produce. I write every day to see what will come of it. Sometimes I use a writing prompt, other times I write of experiences I’ve had, and still other times I start typing until something tangible ends up on the page (deleting the nonsense that led me to it). Nothing great comes to us until we meet it at least halfway. Sometimes a lot more than halfway. And sure; we don’t always reach great…. But we do reach.

      Some days we are able to stick rigidly to our routine, some days we stray or are pulled from it. The trick is to get back on track as soon as the opportunity presents itself. This applies equally well to exercise, flossing, daily chores and yes, blogging. Do the things that must be done in the time you create for it. If we don’t create the time, then it isn’t the priority we say it is.

      Life is more complicated than that, of course. It’s not always about the stray—sometimes it’s the pull as other things take priority. But one day we’ll be pulled from it all like every artist, writer and poet who’s come before us. Knowing this, we ought to keep at it while we can. Stick with the routine and do the work that matters most now.

    • This Gift

      “Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed,” cried the phantom, “not to know that ages of incessant labour, by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed! Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness! Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunities misused! Yet such was I! Oh, such was I!”― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

      It seems appropriate to quote Dickens on Christmas day. The theme isn’t new for this blog, but another reminder to use our time well is always appropriate in a world that tries so very hard to distract us from the hourglass. We ought to remember that no space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunities misused, and more, act upon that knowledge with urgency. It matters not whether it’s Christmas or the 25th of July, mortal life is barreling right along. We must make the most of life’s opportunities in our time.

      Each day is a gift. May this one bring each of us an abundance of joy, peace and love in close proximity to the most important people in our life. Thank you for following along.

    • Holiday Participation Awards

      “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

      At a certain point in our lives the holidays put a spotlight on the relationships we have. I think of it as the Christmas card display. The friends of convenience make up a big part of the display for the time we’re in the same net, but drift away one-by-one as we grow apart. A few stubborn holdouts keep appearing year-after-year, and those folks anticipate a card from us as well. If we’re still sending Christmas cards to people to let them know we’re thinking of them, chances are they’ll send us one to let us know they are thinking of us too. Send our cards early and we’ll receive a batch from the people who wait to see if we’re sending them one before they invest in the stamp for ours. What we don’t want is to time a card to be postmarked after Christmas, so that race to Christmas Eve is a fascinating case study in human dynamics. For people on the edges of our lives, it’s a game of card-for-card, with your participation award taped to the door frame until a few days into New Year.

      We all know that old expression, “the phone works both ways”, but taken literally, it’s a way of letting ourselves off the hook. We often say it when we’ve lost touch with someone who was always in touch. People drift apart as interests change. There’s no getting around the fact that some people are friends of convenience. School friends, teammates, coworkers, neighbors, soccer parents… all friends of convenience until that netting that holds us together is removed. That’s when we find out who we’re going to invest time in, and who is going to invest time in us. If we don’t like our investments, change the portfolio.. and the Christmas card list. It helps to remember that others are making their lists in a similar fashion. Be the person who receives a card because we’re worthy of it, not because we sent one to them. And accept that some people simply don’t play the game and love them anyway.

      What is the purpose of life? Isn’t it active participation? Humans are tribal, and built to help other humans exist in a universe indifferent to any form of life, let alone our particularly self-absorbed form of life. What makes life meaningful is stepping up and being part of things. To be loved we ought to love. We ought to be in the mix, engaged with others as best we can be in our time. What’s a stamp anyway? Send the card. Or make the call. Reach out and see how people are really doing as we close out another year. We may just surprise a few people who thought we were the ones who had drifted away.

    • Going Our Way

      “What do you think of yourself? What do you think of the world? Are you a mere machine, and is your consciousness, as has been said, a mere resultant? Is the world a mere fact suggesting nothing beyond itself worth thinking about? These are questions with which all must deal as it seems good to them. They are riddles of the Sphinx, and in some way or other we must deal with them. If we decide to leave them unanswered, that is a choice. If we waver in our answer, that too is a choice; but whatever choice we make, we make it at our peril. If a man chooses to turn his back altogether on God and the future, no one can prevent him. No one can show beyond all reasonable doubt that he is mistaken. If a man thinks otherwise, and acts as he thinks, I do not see how anyone can prove that he is mistaken. Each must act as he thinks best, and if he is wrong so much the worse for him. We stand on a mountain pass in the midst of whirling snow and blinding mist, through which we get glimpses now and then of paths which may be deceptive. If we stand still, we shall be frozen to death. If we take the wrong road, we shall be dashed to pieces. We do not certainly know whether there is any right one. What must we do? ‘Be strong and of a good courage.’ Act for the best, hope for the best, and take what comes. Above all, let us dream no dreams, and tell no lies, but go our way, wherever it may lead, with our eyes open and our heads erect. If death ends all, we cannot meet it better. If not, let us enter whatever may be the next scene like honest men, with no sophistry in our mouths and no masks on our faces.” — Fitz James Stephen, Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

      We must do our best to find our way in the storm, going our way with faith that it’s the right path. We ought to be true to ourselves in this quest and proceed with eyes wide open. Above all, we must keep moving forward, despite the whirl of confusion and chaos that life throws our way. Perhaps religion is the compass that points the way, or maybe philosophy. Maybe the way is unsaid at all, but a series of norms and values developed into a personal code of living that remains unsanctioned by church and state but works for us in our lifetime. When we live in a free society we get to choose. We ought to appreciate this knowing that not everyone has this freedom to live without a mask.

      Stephen was a champion for law and morality, writing Liberty, Equality, Fraternity as an argument against the utilitarianism of John Stuart Mill. Essentially saying to have some moral core and structure in your life instead of simply pursuing happiness and “what feels good in the moment”. Mill wasn’t promoting decadence, but the intellectual freedom to stray off the rigid path others built for us to travel down. Who says they knew the way? Well, they did.

      When we look around at the world of today, it feels like the [free] world has tipped decidedly towards trying to be happy versus being purposefully and morally focused. When we hear people talk of morality nowadays, we view it with skepticism more often than not because there’s so many damned charlatans out there it’s hard to take anyone’s moral code at face value. Still, there’s so much unhappiness in the world. If everyone were happy there’d be no need for people saying they know the way.

      Ultimately, we ought to lean into doing the right thing, and not simply following someone who says that they know the way. But how do we find that right path? That’s the trick, isn’t it? The answer develops through learning which paths are available to us, which are dead ends or lead off a cliff, and which lead us to the promised land (whatever that means to us). No wonder people are frozen in place—there’s simply no shortcut to enlightenment and self-understanding. We must go our own way and find out in the going.

      The thing is, we tend to overcomplicate things. Intellectual debates about morality and law versus utilitarianism and liberalism is simply people like us trying to figure it all out, but with a superior vocabulary and an inclination towards exceedingly long paragraphs. There’s truth and insight on both sides of the debate, and we may choose the best of everything when plotting our own course out of the storm. We ought to appreciate the opportunity to choose while giving other’s reasonable freedom to choose their path as well. Go your own way, I’ll go mine, and let’s not infringe on each other’s path to enlightenment. We’ll see how it all turns out in the end.

    • Playing Possum

      Last night I got to experience something for the very first time. The pup, now eight months old and keenly observant of all that moves in her kingdom, spotted an opossum nibbling on fallen birdseed a second before me. It seems opossums don’t run nearly as fast as an excited mutt. The gap was closed in an instant and the pup was on top of the opossum before I could reach her. Sure enough, the opossum looked like road kill with its tongue halfway out the mouth and twisted oddly out of wack. It looked like a crime scene minus the blood. The dog thankfully lost interest right away and began sniffing around for something else nearly as exciting. Suspecting our newfound neighbor was faking it, I got the dog inside the house and took her for a walk on the street instead. After the walk I took the flashlight out to investigate and sure enough, the opossum had awoken from its tonic immobility and moved on to safer places.

      Tonic immobility is an automatic reflex to high stress situations. It’s playing dead, but without the playing. The opossum wasn’t just lying there with its eyes closed and mouth open, it was unconscious for a period of time to allow the danger to disappear. Puppies like squeaky toys. When the toy didn’t squeak the pup looked for something more fun to chase. The Wikipedia link above is informative, and points to all sorts of creatures who go into a state of tonic immobility when they’re stressed.

      Humans can also reach a similar state when fainting. I once watched a bridesmaid faint in the middle of a ceremony on the beach just as the happy couple were about to say “I do”. I watched a groom faint in the middle of his own vows at a different wedding ceremony. It seems weddings are high-stress environments for some humans. I’ve never seen anyone playing dead at a wedding, but I’ve witnessed some marriages that were dead on arrival.

      Fainting may make the problem go away, but usually not. When we are in extremely stressful situations we ought to stay conscious. We ought to keep our wits about us, as the saying goes. Slow, deep breaths help greatly to calm us down, but it’s a hard state to achieve when you’re being chased by a bear or are experiencing something equally catastrophic. Being more resilient through practiced breathing may help, and thinking through what we might do in the worst case scenarios is likely our best option. When it feels like it’s not our first rodeo, we’re less likely to be frozen immobile when things are turned upside down.

      This morning I turned on the outdoor spotlights, looked around and then waited a beat before opening the door. If dogs could roll their eyes at their humans I’m sure that’s what the pup would have done to me in the moment. I smiled at her and let her out to chase her own dreams with a bit of assurance that the scene would be a little better than last night. One crime scene per week is my limit.