Alexandersmap

    Month: June 2024

    • Proper Work

      “How important it is to walk along, not in haste but slowly, looking at everything and calling out Yes! No! … Imagination is better than a sharp instrument. To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” — Mary Oliver, Yes! No!

      I saw some pictures of friends off on some beautiful hike over the weekend, and other friends reawakening their sailboat before setting off for adventure. My own activity this weekend was less inspiring. Instead of adventure, I found some new soreness this weekend, earned with a pressure washer and a tall stepladder navigated to high places to make the house shine a little brighter. Sometimes our proper work is doing chores that have been nagging us for awhile, that we may return our focus to the universe yet again.

      The thing is, when I walked the pup later in the afternoon when the sun was shining just so, the house smiled back at me. We become what we put into the world, and a bit of housework does the body and soul good. It may sound silly, but I can look at a sparkling clean house and say “I did that” just as proudly as if I’d hiked up Mount Washington. The memories are different, but every journey set out upon that is completed counts for something.

      Proper work is highly subjective, but in the end it’s the things that we apply focus to that moves us forward. Writing this blog—to me—is proper work. So is tending the garden and washing the dishes and calling the customer you know is angry because it’s the right thing to do to hear them out and help them move to a better place. To be present and engaged in each thing that we do matters a great deal, for it’s the stuff of life and we only have the one go at it.

      What we say yes and no to in our days becomes our identity. When this day is complete, what will it say about us? We ought to slow down just enough to see the path we’re on, that we may know where we’ve been, and perhaps, where we’re going next. And so if you’ll excuse me the blog is now complete for the day, and it seems I have even more work to do.

    • The Yes Behind the No

      I recently looked at a boat, thinking it would be a very nice time to shift back to boat life. I’ve since backed away from that particular boat, for now, that I might make the most of the ripening moments at hand. The boat and I have an understanding that we may meet again someday. If it’s meant to be.

      We say yes to some things knowing that we’re saying no to other things. That’s the lesson every child must learn to become an adult. We can’t have it all, no matter how much money or power we attain in our lives. There’s always a no hiding behind a yes.

      We all know some people who should be adults who refuse to take no for an answer. Give them enough power and they’re capable of making life miserable for the rest of us. Wars are started because people can’t stand a no. But no’s will always be there, mocking us as we grab every yes, creating yet another no.

      Like a heartbeat, drives you mad
      In the stillness of remembering what you had
      And what you lost
      And what you had
      And what you lost
      — Fleetwood Mac, Dreams

      The very best humans are those who love the yes they’re living, with a gentle nod to the no they’re leaving to whither on the vine. That’s not a call to settle for less than we’re capable of, merely a nod to knowing when you reach your dreams and loving them for what they are. The yes will always be there, awaiting the right time. If it never arrives perhaps it wasn’t meant to. The most essential thing, I think, is to be fully aware of the yes we’ve let into our lives.

    • Foundations

      “Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.” ― Carl Jung

      Navigating years as they unfold may make us more intelligent, or less so, depending on the lessons learned along the way. I’m shocked at the distinct lack of intelligence displayed in some people my age or well past it. I’m impressed with the brilliance and maturity of some people much younger than me. I’m sure I shock them at times too by what I don’t know at my own age. Such is the journey through time for each individual.

      We all ought to make more mistakes along the way if only to figure out that we should take another path to becoming. Fear of mistakes is what keeps us from going anywhere at all. There are times in our life when we debate whether to take a hard left instead of staying on a familiar course. Both are deeply impactful, but which elevates our experience the most? Life is full of such forks, and most follow the path well-travelled. And that makes a difference too.

      We don’t learn and grow by staying the same. We must challenge ourselves in new ways, that we may build a stronger foundation from which to see the world differently. Our lifetime of learning and experience, reflected and acted upon, carries us to a greater and more profound identity. It’s right here in front of us, where we might ask once again, what next?

    • Insert the Grateful

      Gratitude
      Sometimes all you need is
      Gratitude
      Just try and hold on to
      The city lights
      Sunrise, long drives
      Late nights, shady groves
      The love we know
      Isn’t that what matters most?
      These things aren’t a given
      They’re the heartbeats of time
      A songbird in the wind
      The wind in the pines
      — Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, Gratitude

      We humans are particularly good at focusing on what we don’t have, often at the expense of the abundance we have all around us. The beautiful thing about living fully aware in the moment is that you notice those things that might have been missed in rushing off to the next. We ought to know better, but looking ahead anticipating something better is part of our identity.

      I’m not particularly good at doing those gratitude journals. Usually at the end of the day I’m just trying to insert one last positive habit that moves me forward like Duolingo, flossing or reading before I doze off. Maybe the answer isn’t to assess what we’re grateful for at the end of the day, but to insert the gratitude into small moments as they unfold around us. It helps to remind ourselves to stick around awhile in this moment. After all, savoring is only done in the present. And here it is!

      Look around at all that is beautiful in our lives, not just the things we’re antagonized by. It’s only a beat longer to pause and acknowledge to ourselves that this particular moment of beauty and light is a blessing before we move on. Here lies happiness.

    • For Such a Time As This

      “And who knoweth whether thou art not therefore come to the kingdom, that thou mightest be ready in such a time as this?” — Esther 4:14

      Is your glass half full or half empty? Mine tends to be half full. That doesn’t mean I go through life with blinders on, just that I find the silver lining in the rain cloud. So what if we get a little wet? That’s how we grow.

      Living a great life is indeed an art, but like all artists we can learn and grow into our work. These are our days, such as they are. We can treat it as winning the lottery or a tough break in the timing. I’ll choose the former, thank you. There’s nothing to be gained from cursing our own existence in the time and place we landed. Double down on dancing and dare them to think us crazy.

      If we are to believe we hit the birth lottery by being born at all, then we ought to make the most of it. We’re all playing with house money living here and now. We can be frivolous with our time or frugal, but it will slip away from our grasp just the same. Purpose is the answer, I should think. When we contribute to something bigger than ourselves we find a bit of immortality, for that ripple continues on beyond our small splash. Knowing this, perhaps we may let that embolden us to reach higher and wider.

    • No Time for Fog

      “Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”
      ― Vincent Van Gogh

      Some days the enchantment of living boils down to how well you slept the night before. I’m blessed with more restful nights than restless, which I suppose leads to more awareness and, it follows, enchantment with the universe. For those other days? There’s always coffee or a plunge into cold water. If we are otherwise healthy, we must approach our days with urgency and the belief that we have no time to waste wandering around in a fog.

      I’m quite aware that I’m falling behind on the journey to personal excellence (arete). That’s not an indictment on the generally good person I try to be, more an acknowledgement that we humans have a long hill to climb and I started paying attention late in the game. We ought to be born feeling the urgency, but most of us figure it out after enough trips around the sun.

      The thing is, we can’t walk around all day with our head in the clouds. There’s no time for fog when we wish to visit the stars in our brief dance. So when we encounter it we ought to strive to rise above it. That requires a steady climb to a higher plane with the dogged attitude that we must do something in our time. Arete is reserved for the gods, of course, not us humans. All we can do is strive to meet our potential and find enchantment on the climb.

    • Productive Motion

      Some of us abhor stasis. I can’t imagine sitting in one place for long without some measure of productivity involved. To lie on a beach towel? Only possible with a great book or conversation happening, otherwise I’m out of there. Give me motion please.

      But often motion is just its own distraction. To “fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way”, as David Gilmore put it, can be thought of as scandalous and wasteful, whether we’re moving or sitting around doing nothing much at all. But that’s being human, isn’t it? We all waste some amount of our time in the course of living a full life. But we ought to lean into things that move us forward.

      We know what’s essential for us, why do we fill our bucket with fluff? Because it kills time? Our habits and routines will carry us to greater places or drag us sideways down the abyss. We may have a say in our fate.

      So it is that I’ve begun weeding the routine to foster growth in the productive and important at the expense of the frivolous habitual. A bit more productive exercise, a bit less watching YouTube videos. A bit more reading, a bit less scrolling. It’s amazing where we find the time when we add a bit of selective bias to our habits.

    • To Do, Beautifully

      “My time here is short; what can I do most beautifully?” — As quoted by James Patterson

      This is stoicism in a nutshell. Acknowledgement that our time is limited (memento mori), with the follow on question; what will I do about it (carpe diem) that will resonate most for me and possibly others? That the most successful author in book sales frequently drops that quote serves both the author and those who will hear the call. It’s akin to old friend Mary Oliver’s challenge at the end of her most cherished poem, The Summer Day:

      Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
      Tell me, what is it you plan to do
      with your one wild and precious life?
      —Mary Oliver

      The question of questions for each of us is what to do with our precious time. The answer is usually to waste it in distractions and deferment. Why set course today when we can keep doing what we’ve always done, assuming a tomorrow? We know the folly of this even as we master the art of procrastination. We must feel the urgency in the question and take the steps that lead to our answer. We aren’t here simply to enjoy the ride, but to love our verse.

      That you are here—that life exists and identity,
      That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
      — Walt Whitman, O Me! O Life!

      So begins another day. We can’t control everything, but we can control this next thing. To step into beautiful, and bring light to the dark. In doing so, we may pass the torch to those who would follow. There is only now to make our mark.

    • Momentum in the Moments

      “We should tell ourselves, once and for all, that it is the first duty of the soul to become as happy, complete, independent, and great as lies in its power. Herein is no egoism, or pride. To become effectually generous and sincerely humble there must be within us a confident, tranquil, and clear comprehension of all that we owe to ourselves.” ― Maurice Maeterlinck, Wisdom and Destiny

      We must first reach for our own potential, that we might fully lend it to others. Put another way, we must become increasingly necessary to those around us through the value we bring. Value is our accumulated skills, knowledge and presence applied to contribution. To make a greater contribution, we must build up our value.

      When I look at my career, the times when I’ve been happiest are when I’ve been able to contribute something substantial to the overall cause. The times when I’ve been most miserable in my work are almost always when I feel like I’m not contributing my full value and I’ve lost my way. The thing is, these feelings come well after the work that it took to arrive there, for momentum is built in the moments leading to it.

      This is most obvious in how we feel about our fitness level. If we’re feeling fit, it’s generally because of all the work that led us to physical fitness. Working out can be tedious when we view it as something we have to do. When it becomes part of our identity it’s simply part of our days. And this applies to everything else we do in life: reading and learning, writing and artistic expression, connection to the people in our lives, and our continual development in the self.

      Excellence is a habit. But so is laziness, sloth and a bankrupt soul. Both ends of the spectrum are paths built on the moments that precede our arrival there. We must choose how we spend our days accordingly and build momentum in the right things. So it is that nothing is more important in a brief life than our self development, that we may be more valuable to ourselves and others in the moments to come.

    • The Journey Continues

      Oh, if a tree could wander
      and move with foot and wings!
      It would not suffer the axe blows
      and not the pain of saws!

      For would the sun not wander
      away in every night ?
      How could at ev’ry morning
      the world be lighted up?

      And if the ocean’s water
      would not rise to the sky,
      How would the plants be quickened
      by streams and gentle rain?

      The drop that left its homeland,
      the sea, and then returned ?
      It found an oyster waiting
      and grew into a pearl.

      Did Yusaf not leave his father,
      in grief and tears and despair?
      Did he not, by such a journey,
      gain kingdom and fortune wide?

      Did not the Prophet travel
      to far Medina, friend?
      And there he found a new kingdom
      and ruled a hundred lands.

      You lack a foot to travel?
      Then journey into yourself!
      And like a mine of rubies
      receive the sunbeams? print!

      Out of yourself ? such a journey
      will lead you to your self,
      It leads to transformation
      of dust into pure gold!
      — Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi, If a Tree could Wander

      After a couple of months of earnest, enlightening travel, New Hampshire greeted me with pollen and Trump signs. Not the welcome home I’d have chosen for myself. We must be crazy, mustn’t we, to revisit the same irritants year after year?

      People try so hard to hold on to what always has been for them, instead of trying something different now and then. A walk around the World Showcase Lagoon at Epcot is not international travel any more than taking a cruise that drops you in a few places for a few hours each is, but at least it’s a small step into the unknown. Likewise, going to an Ethiopian restaurant isn’t the same as going to the country, but it sure as hell helps the family running the restaurant and might just inspire another step further into the world. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, as Lao Tzu put it.

      We don’t know how far our journey will take us, but we ought to venture while we can. Do the things that challenge our perception of the world. Give others the freedom to follow their own path, that they may broaden our own perspective. It’s not such a far-fetched concept, is it? We must go through our lives knowing we’re taking a first step into the unknown with every step. Change is the only constant.

      So where do we go from here? Bold and audacious challenges, or shrinking to fit who we once were? Those shoes don’t fit anymore friend—we’ve come too far in our development to squeeze back into some idolized version of who we once were. Set a course and step to it. The journey into the self continues.