Alexandersmap

    Month: March 2026

    • The Right Direction

      “A man’s rootage is more important than his leafage.” — Woodrow Wilson

      At some point in life that is hard to pinpoint, filling gaps became more important than reaching upward and outward. Is that a sign of wisdom, or a desire for it? Personally, there are still too many gaps to fill before I’d be considered wise. I should think being curious is enough at this stage of the game.

      Wisdom is not the same thing as being knowledgeable. I know many extremely intelligent people who have no common sense whatsoever. They’re charming and particularly useful on trivia night, but not people you’d seek counsel from if you needed advice on a career move or relationship. For that we seek those who have been there before and lived to tell the tale. And more, are willing to lend an ear or a shoulder as needed.

      How does wisdom develop? Not in leafage—forever blown about in the winds of change, fashion and trendiness. It takes roots to grow wisdom. Stillness of mind, steady in ritual, and deliberate with thought, reading and deeper conversation with those who have seen a few things themselves. The wise are continuously growing more deeply rooted and anchored in first principles.

      The thing is, the less one dwells on the leafage, the more one may look deeper within. This all leads us somewhere. We are all here to solve that greatest of questions, why are we here, in this place and time? It’s far less scary to stay above the surface on such things than it is to dig deeper. But isn’t that a shallow existence?

      So it is that this writer strives to go deeper still. That may make this blog more interesting or less so. But it remains a sincere quest for wisdom and insight. It’s no longer striving for success (whatever that is), it’s seeking deeper meaning. And that, friend, requires growth in the right direction.

    • Kindred Spirits

      Why worry
      There should be laughter after pain
      There should be sunshine after rain
      These things have always been the same
      So why worry now
      — Dire Straights, Why Worry

      I met a lovely woman maybe 30 years older than me. She is an ambassador for joyful living, shuffling along in an assisted living facility with her walker, getting her steps in, saying hello to everyone and talking with those who wish to linger in conversation. It turns out I like to linger in conversation myself, so we hit it off right away. The joyful know immediately when they’ve found someone like themselves.

      On each visit to see family I’ve seen her as well, and the connection grows. Each conversation with this new friend reveals something new. Moving in, she lost her husband almost immediately afterwards. She said that’s how it goes in a life. A couple of years later, the pain is still evident, but so is her presence. She’s living here and now, carrying what was and aware of what will be. The thing about joy is it’s always here, not some time behind or ahead of us. We just need to discover it.

      It has always been so, this ebb and flow. So don’t get too high, and don’t get too low. Living well means to be deliberate in our joyful pursuits and generous with sharing that joy with others. Sometimes a simple hello said the right way offers connection we never expected. We may never pass this way again, so why not take the opportunity to lift and reassure? For there is hope in this world, as long as we keep finding kindred spirits in all sorts of places.

    • Next Steps

      “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — Seneca (and also Semisonic, Closing Time)

      We often think of starting something new. Yet we’re reluctant to bring the party we’re currently at to an end. We get comfortable in places we ought to be more uncomfortable being. Comfort is a cage.

      It helps to ask ourselves, why am I doing this? If we like the answer, we ought to double down on action to make the most of our opportunity. If we don’t, we ought to leave the party and find someplace else to dance, while we can still dance. The only wrong answer is to plod along wishing for something else without doing a damned thing about it.

      Have you seen what time it is? This party won’t last forever, and neither will we. What is that new beginning—or to borrow from the business world, what does success look like? What is the first step towards that? Defining a series of next steps is the proper way to end any productive meeting. It applies equally well to each stage of our lives. Being a little uncomfortable with a plan is a sure sign that we’re on to something more interesting.

    • Flowing Towards the Next

      I would love to live
      like a river flows,
      carried by the surprise
      of its own unfolding.
      — John O’Donohue, Fluent

      This river is unfolding rapidly lately. We think of rivers as quietly predictable. We forget about the rapids and the plunges off of cliffs. Waterfalls are simply rivers with an abrupt change of state. And so it is that life can be exhilarating some days, and utterly exhausting other days. That’s life though, isn’t it? It will level out again one day. We learn to take it as it comes.

      To paraphrase my favorite Navy pilot, I have seen the future, and I don’t have to like it. But we can work to influence that which we can control. It’s our life, such that it is, and we are the only ones who will ever have the front row seat on this journey.

      A confession: I’ve quoted O’Donohue’s poem incorrectly. The original had capitalized the first letter of each line. My inclination to correct that is a weakness in my own way of thinking. He wrote what he wrote, and I ought to leave it well enough alone. So here you go:

      I would love to live
      Like a river flows,
      Carried by the surprise
      Of its own unfolding.

      It doesn’t matter how the poem was written. What mattered was the wisdom captured in a few words placed just so. We get so caught up in the trivial details that we drown ourselves instead of accepting everything as our unique, enthralling story. Here we are, moving through time from here to somewhere. We ought to look around and acknowledge what is.

      Still, those waterfalls. It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the landing. We want to make a splash in our brief time before infinity, but it isn’t always what we expected it to be. It helps in such moments to remember the Serenity Prayer:

      God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

      We learn that wisdom is only useful when it is acquired. We go through life stumbling across bits of wisdom along the way. It’s up to us whether we pick it up or leave it forgotten on the banks of missed opportunity. We are the sum of our parts, and in the end everything we accumulate will carry us somewhere, soon enough.

      Here’s the thing about that poem we might have missed as we (I) focused on the way it was written: O’Donohue wasn’t telling us to live as he lives, he was telling us he’d love to live thusly. We are all figuring it out, forever surprised by life in all its stillness and turbulent moments. Be here, now. That is flow, and it will carry us from this moment onwards towards the next.

    • To Do at Last

      I bless the night that nourished my heart
      To set the ghosts of longing free
      Into the flow and figure of dream
      That went to harvest from the dark
      Bread for the hunger no one sees.

      All that is eternal in me
      Welcome the wonder of this day,
      The field of brightness it creates
      Offering time for each thing
      To arise and illuminate.

      I place on the altar of dawn:
      The quiet loyalty of breath,
      The tent of thought where I shelter,
      Wave of desire I am shore to
      And all beauty drawn to the eye.

      May my mind come alive today
      To the invisible geography
      That invites me to new frontiers,
      To break the dead shell of yesterdays,
      To risk being disturbed and changed.

      May I have the courage today
      To live the life that I would love,
      To postpone my dream no longer
      But do at last what I came here for
      And waste my heart on fear no more.
      — John O’Donohue, A Morning Offering

      For Saint Patrick’s Day, a morning offering from a revered Irish writer. And what a poem it is! Go on and read it once again, I don’t mind at all. I’ve read it a few times more myself, considered what to go with and in the end quoted the poem in its entirety.

      Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland. George Washington and Henry Knox chased the British out of Boston Harbor. We note the history of this day but ought to remember to make a little history ourselves. Forget drowning in pint or dram—find your stride today instead. A wee bit of poetry, a soundtrack of favorite Irish music, a brisk walk, and some writing of our own. Perhaps a splash of green to mark the occasion. The 17th of March is a day for action, not simply commemoration.

      The truth is, we get worn down by life and need to be provoked back on track. To break the dead shell of yesterdays and regain that courage to do at last what we came here for. There’s nothing to be done about all that’s happened before today, save to learn from it. Use this time to chase away our own snakes and move onward towards a brighter future. To welcome the wonder of this day by doing it justice.

    • Be Yourself

      “La plus grande chose du monde, c’est de savoir être à soi.(The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself)” — Michel de Montaigne, Essays

      If I were to put a name on a boat (I have no boat), a strong candidate might be “Rester soi-même”, or “Be Yourself”. Then again, it would be hard to explain it to people over the VHF, it would be forever misspelled, and really, who am I to tell people following me to be themselves? So even before I’ve bought a boat I’ve changed the name. But it was great while it lasted.

      I talk a lot of boats. It would be great to have one again, better to actually use it to move from points known to points unknown, that they may become known too. The vagabond within nudges for action. The practical boy raised to be responsible and present in the lives of others resists. Which exactly is myself? Usually the one that dominates the conversation.

      The thing is, we get to reinvent ourselves all the time. Decide what to be and go be it. Life is long enough and all too brief, all at once. But only if we act when it’s time to act. Go forth and become what’s next for you. There will never be a better opportunity than now. Simply be yourself.

    • The Constant Meeting

      “They must often change who would be constant in happiness and wisdom.” — Confusius

      “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” — Heraclitus

      Every day brings change. Things will never be the same again. The river and we are forever rolling through changes, and we may discover something different with each encounter. To be happy we must eventually recognize change for all it offers, not just what it removes.

      That these wisdom nuggets are so cliché doesn’t make them any less true.
      Quoting a couple of philosophers who both lived at the same time in history 2500 years ago offers a clue.
      Change will happen to me and to you.
      So embrace the idea of change happening”for” us and not “to”.
      [sorry, I couldn’t help myself]

      To be happy and wise in a life, one must be curious and interested. Each change of state is unique. Each day has something to offer. Stop trying to hold back the flood and learn to paddle, that we may float across our time more easily.

      We are here, this is us, tomorrow will be as different from today as yesterday was. We are constantly meeting change. Be polite and say hello.

    • A Purity of Spirit

      “Why let yourself be so torn and traumatized by the inanity and depravity of the epoch in which you are obliged to live? All of that can only graze your skin; it cannot reach the interior self. The outside world can take nothing from you and cannot unhinge you, as long as you do not allow yourself to be disturbed. The events of your time remain impotent before you, as long as you refuse to take part in them, and the madness of the epoch does not constitute a real danger, as long as you conserve in yourself a purity of spirit.” — Stefan Zweig, Montaigne

      My deep sleep was disrupted initially by the distinctive chime of the aurora app, alerting me to a “critical” possibility of seeing the northern lights if I were to get up that very moment and go out for a peek. I lay there, initially debating the wisdom of rising, but in the end I got up to see what was up in the sky. What was up was a deep overcast blocking any possibility of seeing the northern lights.

      My second round of deep sleep was interrupted by the distinctive scrape of plow on pavement. That overcast was snow moving in, and the town, in a departure from the norm, was working to stay ahead of its accumulation on the roadways. Bravo road crews. What’s gotten into you this late in the game? So much for sleep score excellence. Maybe tonight?

      This morning we rise to meet the day with a fresh blanket of snow across the landscape. For those hoping for spring flowers, this is surely a setback. But we all learn that March doesn’t give a damn about our feelings and does whatever comes naturally. And it turns out that living with a few years of March weather is instructive. The world will do what the world will do, ’tis not for us to decide. All we can control is how we react to it.

      These times may be maddening for those with a sense of right and wrong, but that doesn’t mean one must succumb to madness. Don’t let the bastards drag you down. Seek a purity of spirit by developing a keen awareness of beauty in the world, wisdom to be gathered, and joy to be found. Everything is all around us all at once. We may be forced to witness things we don’t like in the world, we may even lose sleep over the best intentions of others, but in the end we choose what we dwell on.

    • Inconceivably Done

      “We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” — Vince Lombardi

      Catching up with old friends we don’t see so much anymore, we talked about life and its lessons. We’ve learned some things in the years since we were kids figuring things out as we went. Mostly we’ve learned that we’re always going to be figuring things out. That was the lesson all along.

      One of our party has just completed what many would consider inconceivable or maybe insane. She noted the level of indifference she’s experienced by many who simply don’t understand just how hard it’s been to reach her goal or the why behind it. That’s what happens when people do things that are far beyond the imagination of everyone else. Indifference. And there’s a lesson there too.

      Our life goals are our own and nobody else’s. When we attach expectations about how others will react to our life story, we become dependent on those indifferent others for joy. The thing is, when we accomplish something beyond average, it becomes part of our identity forever. Nobody else’s. Those who know, know. And in the end that’s more than enough.

      Writing this blog post every day feels necessary most mornings, but the ritual is mine alone. Whether anyone reads it, or bothers to navigate the archives to see what else I might have to say, is not something I can control. If I start writing blog posts with titles like, “The seven must-see hidden gems in New England” or “10 Proven Shortcuts to the Top” then you’ll know I’ve succumbed to some burning desire for clicks and views. Otherwise it’s simply one day at a time, doing my thing while you do yours. Thanks for reading this far.

      There’s another lesson that comes with experience, whether large or small. We learn what’s possible. If we can do this, just imagine what else we might do next? For life is always built on the previous step. Leaps forward are rare. We mostly just build on who we were towards who we become next. It’s not inconceivable, it’s simply taking one step at a time towards our goals.

      [Congratulations Sue: Doing the inconceivable is truly amazing.]

    • Owning Truth

      “I’d rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.” — Will Rogers

      I once had a dog who would leave the room when my phone notifications chimed. He simply found it unpleasant enough that he would rise up from whatever comfortable position he lay in and walk away. I eventually reached the same conclusion about notifications and turned them all off. The truth is not nagging us to pay attention to it, the truth is quietly present awaiting discovery.

      We are living in a time with a warped sense of right and wrong. The problem is that everyone believes that they’re right. Where are the trusted sources now? We live in our own version of the upside down, built for profit. We would all profit from more time meeting on common ground.

      We must trust, but verify. This often comes down to simply not reacting to everything thrown at us, but carrying it to logical conclusion and contemplation. In magic, sleight of hand (prestidigitation) works through distraction. Sleight of hand also works with lies. In a rapid fire sound bite world seeing the truth in front of us is practically impossible unless we turn off the noise altogether. When we have time to think and see the whole picture, we find our way to our own truth.