Alexandersmap

    Author: nhcarmichael

    • Keep Going

      “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.” ― Robert Frost

      The world can feel overwhelming at time. It has always been so. Some days feel especially cold, particularly mean-spirited, largely hopeless. But life goes on. Keep going with it, for as long as it takes. Just keep going.

      Better lies on the other side of challenge. We either sail through the storm to reach the safe harbor or we sink into the abyss. Often the outcome is tied to our choice. So keep going. That’s what we’re all doing in the worst of days and the best of them. We keep going and work for better. For life goes on.

    • The Glorious Thing

      “Your mind now, moldering like wedding-cake, heavy with useless experience, rich with suspicion, rumour, fantasy, crumbling to pieces under the knife-edge of mere fact. In the prime of your life.” — Adrienne Rich

      What a glorious quote. A poet struggling under the weight of identity, breaking away from the storybook life expected of her, stepping into a new narrative. We are transformed by thought and action, or we will remain forever imprisoned by expectations.

      No matter how much we replay it, our past is dead and gone. Our present is tenuous but malleable. Now is always the prime of our lives! To break free of now and create a bold new future is audacious. May we find that within ourselves and steer towards a course that makes our heart race with anticipation.

      It’s easy to feel frozen in place in the dead of winter. Every day is cold and dark. These last few days I’ve had flights and the plans related to them cancelled. Meetings fall away one-by-one, and empty spaces take their place on my calendar. These are merely facts of time and place and winter weather. The easy thing to do is nothing. The glorious thing to do is to seize the opportunity. Each day offers the freedom to crawl into old, familiar habits or leap into a new identity. Be bold today.

    • Winter Ghosts

      We see it most vividly when a fresh blanket of snow covers the landscape. Like children in bedsheets pretending to be ghosts, the hardscape rises up in whispers, haunting us with what once was in warmer days. Of what may be again in whispers of the future.

      But not now. Now there is only silence and a cold tickle on the back of the neck. Ghosts? Or merely snowflakes finding skin? The imagination brings us to our version of the truth. The only truth here is the quiet embrace of winter.

      Whispers of warmer seasons

    • Third Things

      “Third things are essential to marriages, objects or practices or habits or arts or institutions or games or human beings that provide a site of joint rapture or contentment. Each member of a couple is separate; the two come together in double attention. Lovemaking is not a third thing but two-in-one. John Keats can be a third thing, or the Boston Symphony Orchestra, or Dutch interiors, or Monopoly.” — John Hall, The Third Thing

      We have our self, we have our selves, and we have what we are mutually focused on in our time together. Like being on teams, whether sports or companies or projects worked on with mutual focus and effort, that thing we focus on together becomes a link that bonds us in the moment and forever after. A long-term relationship is simply coexisting with someone else with mutual attention on a series of third things we carry with us for the rest of our days.

      Our hiking friends have the mountains and expanding red lines on trail maps as their third thing. Our sailing friends scheme of bigger boats and tropical anchorages. Our lake friends are quietly carving out a life as snowbirds and the idea of growing old in a forever summer lifestyle. My sister and brother-in-law have found pickleball a useful third thing bringing them fitness and an expansive social life. We’re all different, and so too are the things we give our lives to in mutual focus.

      Third things capture a time in our life that we’ll remember one day when the math is no longer one plus one plus one more thing. We may be aware of such things as subtraction without dwelling on it. We all know the score. For it’s a thing too. Sha-la, la-la-la-la, live for today…

      What do we—together—focus on other than ourselves? The list comes easily at times. The frisbee-loving pup. The house and whatever the latest project is that my bride has deemed essential to our well-being. Always, the children, then aspiring student-athletes, now adults. Increasingly, the parents, and all that aging parents mean for them… and for us. Travel and collecting experiences once deferred for other third things. Third things are our common ground, focused on together yet differently. A part of us, yet not us.

    • Unprovoked

      “To be like a rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

      We are all works in progress, and it’s understandable to be stirred by emotion—just look at all that happens in this world. To be provoked is instinctual. To be stoic is logical. Which comes naturally?

      Emotions are thus easy to stir up, but are we effective when emotional? Are we clear-headed and deliberate in our actions? Not likely. And so to be the best possible version of ourselves, to survive a crisis in the midst of chaos, we must train ourselves to react better to stimulus. We must learn to be clearheaded and unprovoked.

      “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor Frankl

      Plans change. Forces out of our control wash over us all the time, disrupting our days—disrupting our lives. When we are clearheaded and unprovoked we often see the possibilities available to us in these moments. We may pivot into some other course of action, or turn inward to temper our reaction when all else fails. We are here, this is happening, what will we make of it?

      Amor fati: Love of fate. We don’t have to love fate, but we can accept the path we find ourselves on. The universe will remain indifferent either way. Isn’t there a lesson in that indifference? So keep calm and carry on. That is our logical choice. There is a measure of profound freedom available to us should we remain unprovoked.

    • Do Your Thing

      “I myself think that the wise man meddles little or not at all in affairs and does his own things.” — Chrysippus

      We have a serious issue on our hands. There is simply not enough time today to do all that we might do. Spending time on anything is serious business when we recognize how little of it we have left to spend.

      Knowing that time is our precious currency in a brief life, why do we carelessly toss it away on things beyond our control? The affairs of others is not our concern when those affairs are beyond our control. We ought to use this time more wisely, lest we fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. Hum the tune, but hear the message.

      Just look at how we burn through this very time thinking too much about how to use it. That’s the philosopher’s curse. To be or not to be, that really is the question. But remember to be now, for there is no later. So stop thinking so much and do your thing. Tomorrow will be far too late in the game for such things.

    • Bonfires and Beacons

      “Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.” ― Voltaire

      We all know the score. There’s no need to run down the list of affronts and miscarriages of justice. There is no need to tell us what is wrong with the world at all, for we too have eyes to see. We don’t have to add our miserable voice to the choir. The choir is at full strength already. Be a voice for hope and joy instead. It’s not naive or a head in the sand denial—it’s a beacon of salvation in the darkness.

      We can be aware and still choose a life of purpose and vitality. Read something that doesn’t require a doom scroll. Turn on a joyful tune and dance. Go for a run, a hike or a ride. Swing something heavy around until the sweat stings the eyes. When our muscles are active our mind focuses on the task at hand, not the larger world that is out of our control anyway.

      What will we remember most about today? Will it be some foolish thing an orange troll said or will it be some bit of magic we mine out of our available time? I say the latter is more essential, for it sparks life and kindles joy. Make a bonfire of delight or swim in the miserable soup the bastards made just for those who would consume it. That’s not for us, friend. We have bonfires and beacons to build.

    • What Are We Carrying?

      “It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.” — Voltaire

      We may see the chains that others carry, but when they’ve wrapped them around their life like a comfortable blanket, removing them becomes all but impossible. It’s part of their identity. And identity is a very tricky thing to work with. They must see the chains themselves, they must choose to release the burden they represent. We can’t make someone reject the chains they revere, we can only help them see them for what they are.

      Naturally, we have our own chains we must learn to see, and every day is an opportunity to break free link-by-link (if we don’t simply throw them all off in one swift go). Aware of our own chains, we learn that we can’t be carrying someone else’s burden too. That frustration we feel when others won’t change is nothing but links of their chain that we choose to carry.

      The world is full of anger and hate, greed and envy. The world is also full of love and joy, generosity and acceptance. We each carry our share of each of these traits (for we are human, aren’t we?). The question we ought to ask ourselves is, what are we carrying into the future? Not just our future, but our collective future. The weight of all those chains eventually sinks the ship.

    • Shake the Grass

      And the days are not full enough
      And the nights are not full enough
      And life slips by like a field mouse
      Not shaking the grass.
      — Ezra Pound

      There is a compulsion to fill my days and nights with experience. Perhaps you share this too. There is an equally pressing sense that time is slipping past us at shocking speed. Tempus fugit. We humans are bound to notice it eventually.

      Forever chasing experience. Forever working to be here, now. It’s a blessing and a curse to be aware. Mostly a blessing, for awareness offers a glimpse of all that flies past. Awareness locks a few moments in amber, that we may cherish them for the rest of our vibrant days. Awareness makes us do things like getting out of a warm bed at 3 AM to attempt a glimpse at the northern lights, or to plunge into a cold mountain stream or the bay late in the season—simply because we may never pass this way again.

      Don’t waste a moment. We ought to spend the time as we know we should. We ought to avoid distraction and waste whenever possible. And be bold and daring when we least expect it of ourselves. Shake the grass and dance all night. For today will fly by like all the rest.

    • Shifting the Good

      “Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as the cooperation with good.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

      A while back, I had a drink with a couple of old friends who celebrate the chaotic leadership of the current administration. There’s simply no consensus between us when it comes to politics, but there is common ground that we’ve walked on for years. What I believe to be evil and they believe to be good are unchangeable. They believe I’m quaintly naive, I believe they didn’t study for the test and are smugly cheating off the wrong answer sheet. And yet we view each other as inherently good.

      We are all imperfect beings, making our way through a complicated world with a limited amount of time with which to sort it all out. We ought to live a life of dignity and high moral character. We ought to treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves. We look around at the world and see that many who fail to exhibit these traits rise—not just to power, but abusive power. We look around and see some people we thought exhibited the traits we aspire to reveling in the abusiveness of powerful people.

      Every generation has its test. We are in the midst of ours. It doesn’t matter if our neighbor or our uncle passes the test, only that we do. Those who are blind may never see. Or maybe the light will dawn one day before they pass from this world. We only control our own path through the darkness. If we become a beacon of hope for those trying to find their own way, then maybe that is enough. Pendulums swing when the middle shifts ever so slightly. Fight evil, but the real work lies in shifting the good.