Alexandersmap

    Author: nhcarmichael

    • Story Weaving

      “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.” ― Leonard Bernstein

      The end of July regularly presents a staggeringly quick departure of the potential of summer. August brings us the dog days of summer, and for many, an early return to the structure of school or work. I used to believe that summer ended after the 4th of July. Nowadays I don’t worry as much about beginnings and endings of seasons, but note the changes nonetheless. We have the time we have. Use it or lose it. It’s the beginning of harvest time—but what have we sown?

      Summer changes by the day, and of course, so do we. Instead of regretting the passing of time, we ought to focus on what we’re doing with it now. We make our grand plans—how are those going? When is that novel coming out anyway? How about that fitness routine started and restarted again? Books read? Projects completed? The list goes on, but we know the score. Life has its say. It’s up to us to weave our story in and around all that happens along the way.

      Right on queue as I’m writing this, my phone is erupting with work messages pulling my attention away from completing this very blog post. It can be challenging to be mindful and creative when the world demands attention. Turning off the noise isn’t always possible when we live a full life, but we must train ourselves to block off time for the sacrosanct. To fritter and waste the time in an offhand way (thank you Pink Floyd) must be thought of as egregious. For we will never pass this way again (thank you Seals & Crofts).

      To live a creative, fulfilling life, we must find the time, even when there isn’t any time. Put down the phone, turn away from the noise, and focus on the inviolable core hiding behind that superfluous material that must be chiseled away to find (with a nod to Michelangelo). We have the time we have, we have our dreams we wish to pursue in that given time. It’s up to us to realize those dreams. It’s our mission if we choose to accept it (thank you… oh forget it). Just keep weaving, friend. For now is all we have.

    • The Best We Know

      Let dreamers dream what worlds they please
      Those edens can’t be found
      The sweetest flowers
      The fairest trees
      Are grown in solid ground
      We’re neither pure nor wise nor good
      We’ll do the best we know
      We’ll build our house and chop our wood
      And make our garden grow
      And make our garden grow
      — Leonard Bernstein, Make Our Garden Grow

      One of the many habits I’ve managed to keep going is to enter a daily line per day to log whatever it was that made the day unique in this string of days I’m blessed with in this mad sprint to infinity. We know the ending, we remember the highlight moments, but what of the everyday? What makes today, of all our days, special beyond ensuring that the string isn’t broken?

      Yesterday’s line per day entry filled the entire space. It will be a day I’ll remember for consequential events, but I shouldn’t let time rob me of the other moments wrapped around those events. Publishing a blog post, painting the pergola or evaluating the progress of the cucumber blossoms turning to fruit may not feel noteworthy, but they’re layers on our timeline just the same. Those layers are our life happening in real time—we ought to capture a few of them in words.

      We will remember these days for whatever we brought to them. So it follows that we should bring our very best even when we cannot control everything thrown at us by the universe. What do we want from this day? What will we give it in return? The best that we know is ours to offer. And usually, that’s enough.

    • The Path

      “You can figure this thing out. And your path is going to be different from my path… but there’s certain principles that you can apply to whatever your individual path [is]. And you can learn about the value of discipline and of personal autonomy and personal accountability and figure out how to get better. You’re going to have failures and they’re going to feel awful, they’re going to feel terrible, but they’re very valuable. And you can’t shy away from them because that’s where you learn how to get better. And then your feelings of success, don’t dwell on those either because it’s not about that. It’s really about this path. The path is what it’s all about. It’s really about learning how to live, and learning how to exist in a harmonious way with not just other people but also with yourself. And you have to have respect for yourself, and the only way you develop respect for yourself is you have to know what you’ve done. You have to know that you’ve worked really hard. That you’ve overcome things. And known that you’ve had these little mental battles, these bad ways of thinking, that you’ve turned around. And you realize that that’s possible. I did it before I’ll do it again.” — Joe Rogan, Episode 23352 – James Talarico

      I don’t listen to a lot of Joe Rogan podcasts, because I’ve unfairly thought of him as another bro perpetuating conspiracy theories. But he runs far deeper than that, beginning with a strong desire to listen and understand those that he has conversations with. This episode with James Talarico is a great example of that. But what really caught my attention was Rogan’s description of the path he’s been on, from martial arts to wealthy and influential podcaster. The path is the thing—the path has always been the thing. We just get so distracted by the noise of life that many of us neglect staying the course.

      The thing is, we’re all on a path of our making. That path may lead to the promised land or to our destruction, but it’s our path because we are the ones who are on it. Don’t like the path? Step off of it and take your first steps on another path. See where it leads and decide whether to stay on that one. Paths are simple (if not always easy)—it’s our busy and distracted mind that trips us up. Discipline, focus and an earnest desire to see the path through are what keep us on the path. That’s a life leading towards arete: personal excellence. May we all get closer to our version of it this day.

      I’m on my current path just a little while longer. For 52 days I’ve been focused on better health and fitness, learning and practicing a higher level of discipline and mental toughness. I’ve learned a lot in these 52 days, but mostly I’ve learned to simply stay on the path and do what I promised myself I’d do. Next month I may stay on this path or climb up to something even more challenging, but I know that this path is leading me to that one. Sticking to a path always leads us somewhere. Why not make it somewhere better than where we’ve been?

    • Optimistic Tendencies

      “Optimistic people play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are inventors, entrepreneurs, political and military leaders – not average people.” — Daniel Kahneman

      I’m generally optimistic by nature, so reading Kahneman’s observations on optimism was a brief boost to the ego. It’s nice to think that we’re not average people, but really, most of us are pretty average when measured against the billions of souls who are navigating the world at the same time as us. Yet each of us may be extraordinary to somebody.

      The world may be uglier and meaner now than it’s ever been in my living memory, but the pendulum will swing back one day. How far it swings back, who knows? But we may have a garden, we may write blog posts that focus on the climb to a better place, we may read poetry and support local artists. In short, we may engage in a campaign of civility and empathy all our own.

      Leadership is all of these things. We lead by example by working on ourselves first—building a foundation of emotional intelligence, awareness and self-actualization propelled forward by a keen sense of direction. Leaders show the way by consistently doing the things that need to be done. We don’t have to have a title to be a leader, just do what must be done and others will see.

      What will we take from this day? Perhaps the better question is, what will we give to this day? Begin within, and see what we may realize in our contribution to a path forward. Progress is made by those who focus on a better future with every action taken.

    • Perfectly Reasonable Reasons

      “Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” — Mary Oliver

      It’s always the poets and the artists who draw our attention away from the straight and narrow path. And if we ever need a poem to call us out and force us to reassess what we’re focused on, reading Mary Oliver’s Have You Ever Tried to Enter the Long Black Branches in the quiet time before the world awakens to demand we fall in line will do the trick. We listen at our peril, for to do so is to shatter the illusion that this life we’ve wrapped around ourselves in this protective shell is enough.

      How long will you continue to listen to those dark shouters, caution and prudence?
      Fall in! Fall in!

      What are we doing with our time? Have we noticed, even as we’ve entered the height of summer, that the days are growing shorter? We must venture to the tingly work now. What is bold and a little scary? What are we truly working on but clever excuses and perfectly reasonable reasons for not leaping? Do we really believe the audacious life will sit in the corner awaiting our approval?

      What do we see? What do we seek? Go to it. For our time grows ever shorter. May this day leave us breathless with wonder at what we’ve done with the time.

    • RIP Ozzy

      Crazy, but that’s how it goes
      Millions of people living as foes
      Maybe it’s not too late
      To learn how to love and forget how to hate
      — Ozzy Osbourne, Crazy Train

      Ozzy had an image on stage that freaked people out a bit. Maybe it was the whole biting of the bat thing. But behind all of that was a performer, brilliantly leveraging madness for success. It seems we are all crazy after all, or want to be now and then.

      I was swept up with Ozzy for a few years, and then moved into other kinds of music. But he was always part of the soundtrack, and always will be, because his music fits the times we live in. Listen to Black Sabbath’s War Pigs and then have a look at the headlines and tell me that anything has changed. It’s all madness, and we’re witnesses to it. Dare to point it out and watch them turn on you.

      Another rock star gone from this world. Thanks for the soundtrack Ozzy, it’s been a hell of a ride. For better or probably for worse, this crazy train we’re on keeps on rolling.

    • Beauty, Grace and Connection

      “Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.” — Zahid Abas

      Worry is a distraction conjured by the mind. We have plenty we can worry about in this world, but what do we gain by doing so? We gain ground when we focus on the direction we wish to go in, not by looking sideways or behind us. How many Olympic sprinters win looking sideways for the entire race?

      In general, we become what we focus on. This blog tends towards the positive and the productive for a reason. I will continue to hold the line on character while seeking to raise the bar towards personal excellence (arete). To squander this gift of life on petty grievances is as wasteful as staying inside on a beautiful day. We must always venture outside of ourselves if we hope to find beauty, and we ought to be inclined to share what we encounter along the way.

      I won’t tell you that life is all roses and sunshine. There are challenges and setbacks, painful loss and pervasive madness and cruelty in the world working to grind us down. We may be aware of all of this and still focus on beauty, grace and connection. The richness of a wonderful life is sown through awareness of everything, while still favoring the light.

    • Vigorous Pursuits

      “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou

      There is a restlessness within. Perhaps you feel it too. It expresses itself in the usual ways of nervous energy or complaints about things out of my control. The world is changing as we are changing. Those things we cannot control still pester and prod, just looking for a reaction. The world has always been cruel and cavalier, and life has always been unfair. Our reaction to these things is natural, but let it also be productive.

      Sometimes in a storm all someone needs is the steady calmness of an ally who stands with them, and may show the way for those who are lost. We are all lost now and then. Yet we find our way. When so much in our world feels reduced, we may still advance and grow. We must embrace productive utility over helplessness and despair. We must turn away from the madness, carry the sadness, and use our restless energy for vigorous pursuits.

      To be vigorous is to be purposeful with our applied energy and attention. Ah, but what is purposeful? Knowing what our target is and taking action to reach it. What version of ourselves is way out of reach but worthy of the climb? What version of the world do we want to live in? How might we get one step closer to these worthy aspirations today? We mustn’t dare waste these few hours, for our time is short. We only have this day to make a meaningful stride forward, despite all that would get in our way. Don’t settle in the abyss! Get going already.

    • Learn How To Be You

      “Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.”
      — The Beatles, All You Need Is Love

      Learning to be you is delightful. It’s also occasionally painful. We learn and grow and stretch ourselves beyond what is comfortable and learn from that and the cycle repeats ad infinitum.

      As Aristotle put it, we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. One workout won’t transform our bodies any more than one book or poem or old Beatles song will transform out mind, but each can be the first step on a journey of transformation.

      Learn how to be you…. in time. It’s the time invested walking the path that is transformative. Sorry—no quick fix. And that’s the whole point. We’re meant to figure it out as we go.

      Consistent action in the direction we wish to move towards matters far more than one bold leap. Sure, the leap is thrilling, but it’s just the bold start. Embrace the grind after the leap, knowing it leads to something more still. Something we build ourselves.

    • Just Like a Bridge

      “Every man is a bridge, spanning the legacy he inherited and the legacy he passes on.” — Terrence Real

      My father is still with us as I write this. His body is fighting his failing mind and currently winning the battle. But we all know the score. He’s not long for this world.

      He was one of sixteen kids. It’s easy to get lost in that number of humans moving from adolescents through puberty and into adulthood living under one roof. Most of them stayed in close proximity to one another, a few moved far away just to have some elbow room where they could learn to fly on their own. They’ve stayed tight, perhaps because they realized just how special their family was, or maybe just because they found they liked each other’s company. They’re an easy bunch to grow fond of. Watching them gradually pass on has been a lesson all its own. And now it’s dad’s turn.

      I was one of four when our parents split up and found their way to other people. Both of them found their (rest-of) life partners immediately after that. Maybe that was luck, or a stubborn commitment to make their next relationship work… or both. I know I’ve learned from both of them and the life partners they chose afterwards. Each of them did the best they could. It’s up to those of us who follow in their footsteps to step off of that bridge and make one of our own.

      We are each the product of the people who raised us blended with the people who surrounded us as we grew up. That person we became inherited some baggage we may carry forever or leave on the curb as we work to change our identity. The trick is to carry the best of us while exchanging our worst traits, habits and beliefs for better ones. We are all works in progress.

      Somehow, in that blend of parental influences combined with a hoard of uncles, aunts and cousins, then blending in new siblings and step-siblings, we must decide who we will be and go be it. So much kin—how do we possibly carve out an identity of our own? Just who will we become when we are wrapped up in so much inherited identity?

      I can see that I developed into a George Bailey-type character (from It’s a Wonderful Life), with a tendency to stick around even as I want to fly. A gift of presence and dependability anchoring the drifters in our lives. Whatever it is, I watch that movie with the same frustrations George Bailey has, and the same realization that what I’m anchoring was worthy of the tradeoff. We know that a good bridge needs to be anchored in something solid on both ends. As with my father in his final days, I’m still holding on, and the story hasn’t ended just yet. It seems that I’m just like a bridge after all.