Alexandersmap

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    • On Rest and Recovery

      “Human beings used to have this kind of wisdom. But we have lost touch with it. We don’t know how to rest anymore. We don’t allow the body to rest, to release the tension, and heal. We rely almost entirely on medication to deal with sickness and pain.” — Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus

      After a steady accumulation of miles cycling, I finished my goal last weekend and took a day off to rest and recover. That turned into four full days before I was back on the bike last night, more than I’d expected. But a funny thing happened—my body responded well for having rested. I rode more efficiently, with a higher average speed on the same roads I diligently traversed all summer.

      I agree with Thich Nhat Hanh’s statement wholeheartedly. We don’t know how to rest. And we consume more medication than we ought to instead of letting the body heal naturally. By we I most definitely mean me, but maybe it sounds familiar to you too? Pop a few ibuprofen and get back to the grind, anyone? Watching the Olympics the last couple of weeks, how much tape did we see stretched across athletic bodies? Sure, they’re elite, but my favorite runner has some of that tape across her knee even as I write this. We need more rest, more often, to recovery properly that we may perform at a higher level.

      The thing is, we aren’t getting any younger either. Maybe those Olympic athletes are young and in peak fitness, timed perfectly to perform optimally on the world stage, but that’s not the hand I’ve been dealt at this time in my life. Rest is essential to performance, especially when we add a few trips around the sun to our resume. We forget this because we always could do what we’re trying to do now. But it’s not then anymore, is it?

      If I could do it all over again, I’d build a life with natural sabbaticals built into the year. Teachers have this. So do landscapers and fishermen and ski instructors. We choose careers with a high earning potential instead of high lifestyle potential, and we pay the price over time. We know when we’re in balance and strive to get there when we’re off. Rest and recovery are far more essential to a productive and happy life than simply having the right job title is. Certainly better than popping another pill.

    • Echoes

      “What we do now echoes in eternity.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

      I worry less about productivity than I might project in this blog. Each day I do what I can, provoke something meaningful out of myself and celebrate having carried the torch one more time. The chaos of the world was not mine, my contribution was steadiness and reason. If I’m blessed with another day, I’ll try tomorrow to do it better.

      We must remember that we have a chance to do something meaningful with our time. Our actions influence others, rippling across our connections to people we’ll never meet. This blog post may get a few likes, be viewed a few dozen times and fade into bits and bytes in some data center somewhere on the Internet until the power finally goes out some day in eternity. We may accept the frailty of our voice for what it is and still be inclined to add our verse.

      The doing is the thing. We must do what we can with today before it’s gone forever, like all the rest. For this is our time, friends. If not now, when? The thing about an echo is that it must begin somewhere before it can reverberate through space and time.

    • Trying to Be Good

      “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
      ― Ira Glass

      Over the weekend I replaced a door that had been bothering me for some time. As with everything, it began with a small project (add a deadbolt!) that became a big project when I made a mistake that couldn’t be fixed (measure twice, drill once). No instructions or template and an educated guess proven terminally (for the old door) incorrect. That accelerated the need for a new door, which led to a few more mistakes along the way that needed to be fixed before the door was finally, blessedly, installed. A one hour project became a six hour project. That’s what happens when skills don’t meet the standard we set for ourselves.

      It takes time to close the gap between where our standards are set and the quality of the work we produce at present. I know intuitively that I’m a better writer than I was five years ago, and remain hopeful that the writer I might be in five more years is even better. The daily blog is penance paid to the craft. Without daily effort, our skills atrophy.

      The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with having a high standard. We must aspire to greatness in our lives, that we may grow. The trick is to stay patient with ourselves during the process of becoming. Mistakes are inevitable and often expensive, for there’s an opportunity cost in everything we do. We must remind ourselves that the price paid today is an investment in our future self and simply work through it.

    • Someone Great

      “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

      I had the opportunity to attend a 40th anniversary party this weekend. I married into the family well after they got married so I wasn’t around for that beginning, but I’ve seen them grow into their relationship, raise children into adulthood and seek out lifetime adventures together. They’re living a life together one should aspire to—present in each other’s lives, adventurous and fun, travelers who arrive in the lives of others when it matters most.

      I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer, but I know a good thing when I find it. Being someone great in the life of one other life is a great starting point for building a long term relationship. Being great in the lives of your children builds a strong foundation from which they may grow into personal excellence themselves. Being a great friend to someone who is great leads to reciprocal growth for both parties.

      We may dilute ourselves only so much before there’s nothing great left of us. We feel when we’ve entered a vacuum devoid of reciprocity. We must be a friend to the world while understanding that the world will not always be our best friend. The way to stay filled is to find people who return the love and energy we give back to us. Life energy is finite, but infinitely available when we wade into the right stream.

      The trick to any great partnership is sustained momentum built on being present, engaged and equally invested in a hopeful future. For every stumble, there’s a hand lent to getting back up again, for every step forward there’s a hand to lift the other forward with us. Hand-in-hand we may thus move forward through this life together.

    • Screens and Stars

      I scrolled through Facebook this morning. Not a proud moment in productivity but there it is. It occurred to me that the platform is now a lot like living in an empty nest. Where once you could easily get caught up with all your friends and family in one place in pictures and comments, now it’s nothing but endless videos and advertisements cultivated for your perceived tastes, mostly because you happened to click on one and now they dump them all on you. Like an empty nest, there’s nothing there to hold on to but memories of what once was. A great reminder to fly away more often and live our lives instead of lingering in the nest.

      The easiest way to fly is to walk right out the door and keep on walking. I walk the dog every night just to get away from the collection of screens that would otherwise call to me, and really, because the dog insists on it. I’ve trained her too well at this point. She serves as my catalyst for action: get up and move! Get outside and let’s see what’s new in the neighborhood! Good pup.

      The days are getting shorter again, and the air feels autumn-like after the thick tropical air we just had finally cleared out. The pup and I have an unsaid agreement where she covers the ground level quite well, and I tilt my head up and assess the evening sky (This works until she bolts for bunnies, but I’ve learned to sense those sudden energy bursts before they erupt). The waxing crescent moon clears out just as it’s getting dark, and the stars emerge to remind me that there’s so much more to life than lingering in front of screens.

      Look at the stars
      Look how they shine for you
      And everything you do
      — Coldplay, Yellow

      We are what we repeatedly do. We can dwell on the empty nest or immerse ourselves in the cultivated media feed that serves as a time-killer (quite literally), or we can step into something more with our minutes. Social media platforms and streaming services are no substitute for interaction with people equally invested in the interaction. The right people in our lives are like stars, shining for us as we shine for them. Together lighting up the eternal void. We may fill that which is empty with something that brings us to life. Fly amongst the stars.

    • The Gods Wait

      your life is your life
      don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
      be on the watch.
      there are ways out.
      there is a light somewhere.
      it may not be much light but
      it beats the darkness.
      be on the watch.
      the gods will offer you chances.
      know them.
      take them.
      you can’t beat death but
      you can beat death in life, sometimes.
      and the more often you learn to do it,
      the more light there will be.
      your life is your life.
      know it while you have it.
      you are marvelous
      the gods wait to delight
      in you.
      — Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart

      I revisited some old characters this week. Some were people I hadn’t seen in some time, met with lunch in between us and life’s hurdles to compare. Some were characters invented in my head and tapped into flesh on the keyboard. Like the people I had lunch with, I haven’t visited with them in some time and there’s a chance I might not see them again anytime soon. We live the life we invest ourselves into. The gods wait to delight in you.

      I’ve become my father in some ways. I don’t check in with the kids as much, but I’m there for them when they wish to reconnect. I recognize the folly in this through the distance between my father and me before he finally slipped into dementia. Where is the light in our lives but in our children and the person we share our days with? I stay connected in small ways, to let them know I’m thinking of them. My bride has entire text conversations with them that I only hear about as an executive summary. We spend 90% of our time with our children before they leave the house. We must hold on to that remaining 10% for dear life.

      We dance with light in our days or we are wrestled into darkness. We must choose light, and be a source of it for the people in our lives who need it the most. Connection is so hard to maintain when we all have so much to do in our brief time, but it’s the essence of a joyful and meaningful life. When these days are well behind us and all we have are fragile memories of our time together, will we smile at the recollection of the light between us or see the gap? The gods will offer us chances.

    • Turning Into

      Each summer brings with it something new. Perhaps its travel or a new hobby or a significant event that will forever be associated with this season in our lives. So what will mark the summer of 2024?

      This summer I’ve rediscovered the thrill of cycling. It’s not that my road bike wasn’t available to me before this summer, it’s that I walked past it saying “not today” for years. Now that I’ve been accumulating miles on the bike instead of dust, it’s changed my way of looking at this time in my life. I feel like a kid again when I’m riding, and then I profoundly feel my age again when I get up in the morning after a long ride. And that’s okay too, because it’s my body telling me that I did something more than sit on my ass in front of a computer screen all day.

      When we do things we’ve always told ourselves we shouldn’t do because of time or age or maybe what the neighbors will think, we’re putting ourselves in a smaller box. Like a potted planted, we become root-bound when we force ourselves to skate our lane, not trying new things or returning to old things with the enthusiasm of our youth. When we stick to the familiar life becomes quite routine, doesn’t it? We ought to be shattering our self-expectations of what is possible more often. There are no do-overs in this life.

      A couple of rides ago, I reached a point where I could either stay straight and cruise back home after a great ride or turn right and face a steep climb up an unforgiving hill. There would be no shame in sticking to the road I was on (I’d already done a long ride), but I knew the hill would mock me for avoiding it. So I turned right and began a lung-popping climb up the hill. The thing is, it was as hard as I expected it to be but nothing insurmountable. I simply climbed and enjoyed the reward of a more gradual descent down the other side.

      At some point this year the bike will be hanging back on the garage wall, dormant until I rediscover it again. We only have so many rides in our time so it’s essential to know the season we’re in and take full advantage of it. As this summer winds down, what will we celebrate turning into? There’s still time to shatter those expectations we have for ourselves.

    • Collecting Experiences

      “The world is big, and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” — John Muir

      The Olympics are charging right along to the finish, and I know I’ll feel the void when they’re over. It’s always been this way, it will be again. With every Olympics I promise myself I’ll go to the next one, and end up deferring like I did with the last. To say that one day I’ll keep that promise is yet another.

      The thing is, the Olympics come around every two years. We may go to the summer games or the winter. The only thing keeping us from going is what we prioritize in our life. Sure, money is a formidable hurdle to clear for much of the population, and I’ve been there before in my life too. But mostly it’s choosing to do something else instead. When we see our reasoning for what it is, it liberates us to be more bold with our future choices.

      Olympics aside, we all have dreams of places to go in this world. We all have things we wish to do while we’re healthy and vibrant enough to do them. If not now, when? Book the trip, chase the dream, be a collector of experiences and fulfilled dreams.

    • Lofty Expectations

      “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” — George Santayana

      “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes” – Mark Twain

      On my quest to be a lifetime learner I read a lot of history and philosophy in my spare time. Both subjects teach us that humans are fallible and the mistakes we inevitably make have tragic consequences. We must learn from the past, but mostly we repeat some iteration of it. History informs where societies spin off the tracks, philosophy teaches us how to get back on them. Pity that both subjects are largely ignored by the waves of humanity being told what to think.

      As the “greatest generation” passes and living memory of World War II and the Great Depression before it increasingly reside only in history books, it’s disappointing to see pundits twist facts for political gain, and it’s shameful to see learning the truth publicly shamed as woke by those who would have you only believe their words. We’ve been here before friends. We must choose to learn the lessons of history and be the voice of reason, and we must choose to learn the lessons of philosophy that we may find the moral strength to stay the course towards personal excellence, that we may live as an example of what is right in this world and guide others to a brighter future.

      This may seem rather lofty. Aren’t we allowed to have lofty expectations for ourselves and for the generations we coexist with? Would we rather be known as the ones who didn’t rise up when they could have made positive change in the world? History is full of such examples, but fortunately it’s also full of examples of people who pivoted at just the right moment to change the trajectory. I’d like to believe that might be us if we can ever put down the streaming cat videos and pay attention. Learning teaches us to be wary, but also cautiously optimistic. We may still get it right.

    • Something to Our Sum

      “If you could do tomorrow over again, would you? “ — Seth Godin

      We all think about yesterday. What would we do differently? What was the very best thing that happened in our day that we’d definitely do again? Yesterdays are easy to dwell on but impossible to change. We must give them weight accordingly.

      Tomorrow is full of hope and promise and anticipation. But what if it turned out to be just like yesterday was? Are we always moving forward, staying roughly the same or slipping sideways? If life is a progression of experiences, what will tomorrow bring?

      Today is all we have. We set up a brighter tomorrow with today. If we are the sum of our experiences and work, will today be accretive or dilutive? We must contribute something to our sum in the hour at hand to sustain personal and professional growth. A bias towards action isn’t the same thing as putting our nose to the grindstone, it’s simply favoring forward motion over stasis and stagnation.

      So are we doomed to forever moving onward to the next, never savoring the fruits of our labor? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Indeed. But the point isn’t to always be productive with our hours, it’s to optimize our experience with them. What is more optimal than full awareness of the moment and using this (with all that this means to us) to the best of our advantage? Are we simply passing the time or using our time? Nothing sets up today and our blueprint for tomorrow more than this question.