Alexandersmap

    Category: Culture

    • What Are We Carrying?

      “It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.” — Voltaire

      We may see the chains that others carry, but when they’ve wrapped them around their life like a comfortable blanket, removing them becomes all but impossible. It’s part of their identity. And identity is a very tricky thing to work with. They must see the chains themselves, they must choose to release the burden they represent. We can’t make someone reject the chains they revere, we can only help them see them for what they are.

      Naturally, we have our own chains we must learn to see, and every day is an opportunity to break free link-by-link (if we don’t simply throw them all off in one swift go). Aware of our own chains, we learn that we can’t be carrying someone else’s burden too. That frustration we feel when others won’t change is nothing but links of their chain that we choose to carry.

      The world is full of anger and hate, greed and envy. The world is also full of love and joy, generosity and acceptance. We each carry our share of each of these traits (for we are human, aren’t we?). The question we ought to ask ourselves is, what are we carrying into the future? Not just our future, but our collective future. The weight of all those chains eventually sinks the ship.

    • Shifting the Good

      “Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as the cooperation with good.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

      A while back, I had a drink with a couple of old friends who celebrate the chaotic leadership of the current administration. There’s simply no consensus between us when it comes to politics, but there is common ground that we’ve walked on for years. What I believe to be evil and they believe to be good are unchangeable. They believe I’m quaintly naive, I believe they didn’t study for the test and are smugly cheating off the wrong answer sheet. And yet we view each other as inherently good.

      We are all imperfect beings, making our way through a complicated world with a limited amount of time with which to sort it all out. We ought to live a life of dignity and high moral character. We ought to treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves. We look around at the world and see that many who fail to exhibit these traits rise—not just to power, but abusive power. We look around and see some people we thought exhibited the traits we aspire to reveling in the abusiveness of powerful people.

      Every generation has its test. We are in the midst of ours. It doesn’t matter if our neighbor or our uncle passes the test, only that we do. Those who are blind may never see. Or maybe the light will dawn one day before they pass from this world. We only control our own path through the darkness. If we become a beacon of hope for those trying to find their own way, then maybe that is enough. Pendulums swing when the middle shifts ever so slightly. Fight evil, but the real work lies in shifting the good.

    • Emerging Possibilities

      How long did all those possibilities sleep
      during the years
      before this emerging
      — Michael Ondaatje, The Then

      There are hints of our future together all around us. We may see some version of ourselves emerge from the habits that we develop, or those that hold on to us (try as we might to break from them). We are what we repeatedly do, and so it is that we become what we surround ourselves with. There will always be a gap between who we are and what we want to be. Is that gap closing or becoming a chasm?

      We see in the world possibilities emerging that we never imagined. We may share mutual disgust and dismay. But I’m here to tell you that there are other possibilities hiding right in plain sight, possibilities that we can control, should we become aware of them. Life is what we make of it—it has always been this way and always will be. Fight the good fight, but for the love of God start within.

      What we tend to see is that which demands our attention, be it a heart attack or an autocrat or the waiter asking us what we want to drink. Immediacy demands focus. Do we remember the Eisenhower Matrix? Right next to that “urgent and important” quadrant lies the “not urgent but important” quadrant where the real work of becoming resides. Our future lies in seeing what might be, not forever reacting to what is thrown on our shoulders to somehow carry.

      Everything begins with awareness. When we are self-absorbed we don’t see the soulmate standing right in front of us. When we are distracted by the despair machine, we don’t see the pendulum swinging towards decency. When we are wrapped in the comfort of easy, we don’t see the path to personal excellence available when we become inclined towards harder. Possibilities are all around us, simply waiting for opportunities to emerge. Feed them the attention they need.

    • Digging Our Ground

      The trouble, doll, is not moving mountains
      But digging the ground that you’re on
      If it’s true that good fortune gives no change
      We got just what it takes
      — Jakob Dylan, Something Good This Way Comes

      Nowadays, doesn’t it seem like everyone is angry or depressed or resentful of others? We know there are legitimate reasons for concern, but there’s also a collective amnesia about how good we really have it. It’s driven by an information diet that tells us how awful we should feel about the state of the world, about those “nasty” people on the other side, about the number staring back at us on the scale or the fact that few of us look like those fit, fashionable and well-traveled people we see on our screens. We know that comparison is the death of joy, but our feeds are relentlessly pushing for comparison anyway.

      There’s nothing wrong with aspiring for more in life, for that is how humanity grows and evolves. That’s how we grow and evolve. But we shouldn’t lose track of that which we are blessed with. How many people throughout history would have given everything for what we have right now? They’d be shocked by our lack of awareness of all that surrounds us.

      Gratitude grounds us. It changes our mindset from feeling like we live in scarcity to knowing we live in abundance. When we’re grateful for where we are, with what we have and who we’re spending our precious time with, it’s hard to feel like we aren’t living a great life. So maybe it’s time to start digging the ground that we’re on, and stop clawing for more of what’s over there. Because over there ain’t all that either.

    • Stop Feeding the Monkey

      In the course of my pursuit of better, I have accumulated systems and routines that in themselves burden me with more things to carry, do and track. For example, I have five notebooks going right now, one strictly for work notes, one for tracking fitness, my Some Lines Per Day notebook to note just what I did on this lucky day of being alive, and a general notebook that sits on my desk for quick notes for any old thing. This of course is way too many notebooks, but I believe in a separation of church and state, and I believe that bleeding work into personal notebooks or vice versa would be a hot mess. And so I’m left with what I have.

      The thing is, it wasn’t always this way. I’ve tried Bullet Journals and Franklin Covey planners and all manner of electronic devices to mimic the simple analog efficiency of a notebook with purpose. Inevitably I drift away from all of them in favor of pen to paper. But I keep looking for the perfect solution to consolidate and simplify what should be a very simple act of tracking activity and thoughts.

      Just yesterday, I purchased yet another notebook. This one has grids on every page, which appeals to my spreadsheet mindset, but admittedly leaves something to be desired for the writer in me. It was an impulsive purchase, but something I sought out for a reason known only to my monkey mind (that restless spirit within that seeks to distract me from doing anything useful or productive).

      Notebooks are my thing, but the monkey mind consumes all kinds of things to keep us off track. Perhaps you’ve accumulated apps on your phone, or electronic devices that promise all manner of productivity and entertainment. How many streaming services are we up to now anyway? Usually two or three more than we’d like. How full is the closet? How many devices do we really need to cook dinner? How many tools do we need to maintain our home? We all have our version of “notebook” that keep us from the real work at hand.

      The thing is, we can bog ourselves down in systems and preparation, accumulate tools and techniques, acquire knowledge, degrees and certifications. But in the end, all that matters is the action we take towards a goal, and the work that we ship today. Everything else is background noise that drowns out the message. The answer is to simplify, focus and relentlessly cull the collection of things in life that keep feeding the monkey. At least that’s what I wrote down in my notebook. Which one, I can’t tell you.

    • Nothing Can Come From Nothing

      “Ex nihilo nihil fit: nothing can come from nothing”

      Those Romans knew a good maxim when they encountered one. I suppose the bad maxims are simply lost to history, but the great ones are timeless. Surely, nothing can come from nothing. We get what we put into things. This applies equally well to our fitness level, our relationships, our personal finance and our education. Consider the universe and where it came from. Will we know all the answers in our lifetime? Of course not. But we can keep on seeking answers in our time.

      Have a look around at the hot mess that is global leadership. It didn’t just pop up overnight, it evolved out of anger and lack of diligence and a perfect storm of technology and wealth accumulation. The generation that fought fascism is passing away, the generations that followed simply forgot that history rhymes.

      We get what we deserve.

      We’d all grown rather complacent.

      And here we are.

      But here’s the thing; there is substance and resolve at our core. We have something to say about the matter, even as we are driven off the cliff by the abrasive minority. We’ll either do something, or we’ll do nothing. Just remember that maxim if it’s the latter.

    • A Free Mind in a Chaotic World

      “Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” — Epictetus

      Let’s face it, the world is a hot mess right now. Anger, disgust and outrage are delivered daily to our news feed, just waiting for us to consume it. There are countless reasons to focus on the state of the world, but one big reason not to: it removes our focus from the things we can control, leaving us in a constant state of distraction. We become enslaved to the people who demand our attention. To hell with them! Focus on that which we may control instead.

      I’m not saying we should turn our back when the barbarians are at the gate, merely to lock the gate and defend the fort. What is within that must be protected? Our attention, our precious time, our health and well-being, and that of our family. When measured against the infinite unknown to come, our time alive ought to be focused on far more than things we have no agency over.

      So respectfully, I will grow quiet and distant when prompted for outrage. I will fight for all that is right in this world against those who would destroy it for profit, but I won’t dabble in their daily dose of distraction. There is so much to be done with this time already. Free the mind from the chaos and attend to that which we may control instead.

    • There Was Happiness

      “And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.” ― Stephen King , The Dark Tower

      Did you watch Stranger Things? Did you care about it at all? The answer to both of those questions was yes for me. Not the emphatic yes! of a super fan, but most certainly a yes. Like Game of Thrones and a few other select shows, it grabbed many people and wouldn’t let go. And the ending was about as good as it could have been. So bravo to the entire crew that put it together, beginning with the Duffer brothers.

      So many stories try to end perfectly, with all the answers sown up neatly to satisfy everyone. Life isn’t so tidy. Sunshine and roses may please the masses as the credits roll or we close the book, but we all return to the reality of life in all its complexity. There are no happily ever afters, but there will be happiness. And that may just be enough. We are as happy as what we choose to focus on in our lives. Mostly it’s mindset that determines our outcomes.

      We simply cannot have all the answers to our questions. Life is full of contradictions. It’s unfair yet seeks balance, complicated yet simple, and of course joyful and devastatingly tragic all at once. No storybook endings, but an end with many questions. We learn and grow and do the best we can along the way. Maybe that’s not enough, or maybe it is everything.

      It may help to remember that every ending is a new beginning. We wake up to a new day and have a choice as to how we react to it. If we hated how yesterday ended, we may write a better story today. If we loved it, build on it. The only way to live is to rise to meet each day as best we can, having learned from the last one. It was never about a happily ever after, it was about rising to meet the future one day at a time.

    • Conversations and Calories

      “Joy is not produced because others praise you. Joy emanates unbidden and unforced. Joy comes as a gift when you least expect it. At those fleeting moments you know why you were put here and what truth you serve. You may not feel giddy at those moments, you may not hear the orchestra’s delirious swell or see flashes of crimson and gold, but you will feel a satisfaction, a silence, a peace—a hush. Those moments are the blessings and the signs of a beautiful life.” ― David Brooks, The Road to Character

      The last few weeks of the year tend to fly by more quickly than all the rest. Holiday parties, reunions, the rush to get gifts and wrap them—it all adds up to a frenzy of experiences lumped together where one doesn’t stand apart from another, but instead they blend into one. Conversations and calories accumulate in rapid succession, we grow satiated and yet want for more. The shortest days of the year thus become some of our most full.

      To focus on improvement is to step back towards balance, towards that which we aspire to be. Balance is a word that infers we have somehow become unbalanced. But don’t we wish for the richness and delight that those conversations and calories bring us? Sure, moderation is the key to a healthy life, but we starve ourselves all year. A few brief hours of richness and delight offer their own form of balance, should we recognize the moments for what they are.

      We know that those calories add up and that the scale doesn’t lie, and soon there will be renewed focus on moderation. We know that people return to their routines and begin once again to look ahead to longer days. There will be days of quiet solitude that whisper of loneliness, if we let our guard down, if we begin to compare what we have on our busiest days with what we have when the schedule is full of blank spaces. We ought to remember that life ebbs and flows, and the ebb is as natural as the flow. Accepting both is the path to a beautiful life.

    • Inevitable Leveling

      “Yes I know that the drop of water carried along by its weight, can ascend to the sky in vapor only to fall again in rain. But the wear and tear of rock, the gravel that the stream carries to the river and the river to the sea, the granite that disintegrates, I know that all that will not again go up the fatal incline; and the highest mountains dissolve into the valley, the plain where their ruins accumulate and become equal. Everything falls from a height less and less lofty with a fall more and more shallow. This inevitable leveling is accomplished hour by hour and minute by minute under our very eyes. In life manner the whole material world equalizes and tempers its energies.” — André Gide, Autumn Leaves

      The world is full of political upheavals, violent ascents to power and greedy grabbers of gobs of money. It has always been this way, it likely always will. Such drama always grabs headlines. We may even say rightfully so, for we all ought to pay attention to those who want it all, because we’ve seen where the pursuit of everything leads them.

      It’s the gradual leveling out through democracy, diplomacy, equal opportunity and consensus-building that quietly builds worlds, results in decades of relative stability and peace. We get a little too complacent in such times. We grow comfortable and lazy with democracy. We stop being frugal and become over-exuberant in our spending habits. We forget that to be indebted to others is to be an indentured servant. The opportunists see their opening and away they go.

      Time settles everything. It likely won’t be in our lifetime, but maybe in that of our grandchildren’s children maybe humanity will reach its potential. Assuming we don’t destroy humanity and mother earth in the interim. Earth will bounce back when she shrugs us off (she has eternity to level out again, after all). It’s humanity’s story that is being written through time.

      It’s easy to lose faith in humanity when things seem so ugly. But even now there is an inevitable leveling happening right before our eyes. It’s best to be patiently aware, ethically opportunistic and emotionally resilient when ugliness reigns. After all, we’re playing the long game. It’s best to remember that, especially as others forget.