Alexandersmap

    Category: Habits

    • Finishing What You Started

      This morning I find myself in Hopkinton, Massachusetts for a meeting.  Being typically early offers benefits beyond being late.  Today it meant a quick visit to the starting line of the Boston Marathon, which has been the traditional starting place for the race since 1897.  I’ve watched the finish of the marathon many times, particularly those years when my wife ran the race, but I’ve never seen the start in Hopkinton other than watching it on television.  The race was a week ago so the paint is still fresh on the starting line.  And just like on race day this year, the road is wet from all the rain we’ve had.

      I’ve crossed the starting line and the finish line once in my life, but I wasn’t running.  I did the Jimmy Fund Walk 12 or 13 years ago.  I raised money of course, but otherwise I did the walk with little fanfare and no family or friends lining the course for me.  Young kids at home at the time, soccer game that day, and frankly it’s a walk-a-thon it wasn’t the running of the marathon.  Some things don’t warrant much attention I guess.

      I was commenting on the string of jobs I’ve had since that Jimmy Fund Walk.  Outside of a five year gig at one company, I’ve had two-year stints at three different companies, and I’ve been at my current company for one year.  I like small companies with a level of risk in them.  I also like the flexibility that comes with sales jobs, as I’ve documented recently.  But I always intend to finish what I’ve started and keep pressing ahead trying to make things work wherever I land.  I hope to be at this company until I retire, but you never know.  I have learned from each place I’ve been, even if I haven’t gotten rich at any of them.

      If I wasn’t in Hopkinton today I wouldn’t have sought out the starting line.  I’ve driven by the exit a million times without a thought of stopping in.  But here I was today, thinking about the start, and that walk back in 2006 or 2007.  Hell, I don’t even know where the medal is I got that day.  I’m happy that I finished what I started of course, but for all my ghost dancing I don’t live in the past.  I move along, believing that slow and steady wins the race….  or at least gives you a fighting chance of finishing what you started.

    • Pruning

      “Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savor the time you have.” – Paul Graham

      Spring is a good time to assess the yard, clean up the debris that accumulates over winter that was covered over in snow, fix things that need fixing, and prune the trees and shrubs to clean up any winter kill and promote growth of healthy new shoots.  I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      I watch less television than ever.  I moved all my social media apps into a file called Time Suckers.  I deleted Words With Friends and other such games.  I steer clear of negative people who infect the air with poisonous rhetoric.  I eliminate a meal more often.  I’m not a monk mind you, but I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      Instead, I write more than I’ve written since college.  I exercise every morning even if just a little bit.  I read immediately after exercise, even if just a little bit.  I research the places I go and look for interesting things to see and do there and try to get to those places and then write about them to help me remember what I saw and learned during my visit.

      I’m more present in the moment.  Not just the easy stuff like smelling the roses when they’re in bloom, but the harder stuff that’s easy to ignore.  I wash the dishes, sweep the floor and do the laundry.  I call old friends and family more often, and try to see them when I can.  And in work break out of the familiar routines and make new contacts, learn new skills and push myself out of the comfort zone.  I’ve gotten better promoting growth over the years.  And savoring the time that I have.

      I was going to end this blog post right there, and in fact did publish it.  Then I read Brain Pickings today and apparently I’m not the only one thinking this way today.  Maria Popova tackled time management in her own way, with quotes from Walt Whitman, Seneca and others.  So instead of ending this post on my own observations, I’ll lean in on Seneca to wrap up this post:

      “Set yourself free for your own sake; gather and save your time, which til lately has been forced from you, or filched away, or has merely slipped from your hands…  Certain moments are torn from us… some are gently removed…. others glide beyond our reach.  The most disgraceful kind of loss, however, is that due to carelessness.” – Seneca

    • Habit Loops and Morning Routines

      I’m in the middle of establishing a new habit loop that is embarrassingly easy at the moment.  I set my alarm for 5:45 AM in case my internal alarm clock doesn’t work.  When I get up I immediately get dressed in workout clothes, go downstairs and turn on the coffee maker.  I pour myself 16 ounces of cold water and finish it, then head down to the basement for a workout.

      My workout is the embarrassing part, at least for someone who’s done a lot more over the years.  I set the erg for 500 meters, slide up and down on the seat a few times to stretch out my calves, take off my wedding ring and row the 500 as a warmup piece.  When I finish it, I slip the by now cold ring back on my finger, feel it warm up as my body heat conducts onto it, and then stand up.  I take a breath and then do 10 burpees with emphasis on full range of motion on the pushup and big air on the jump.  After 10 burpees I sit back down on the erg and repeat the routine I did with the 500 meters and the ring.

      This workout is more of a warmup than a real workout.  I know that.  But I’m establishing a routine following the advice of James Clear in Atomic Habits.  I’m going to eventually built up to 5000 meters, add weights to the workout, pullups and pushups, and all that.  But for now when I wake up and I’m reluctant to get out of bed my mind is wrapped around this quick routine, and I’m not going to rush the process as I build the habit.

      To complete my habit loop, I walk back upstairs after the workout, have another 16 ounces of cold water, make a cup of coffee, grab my ipad and sit down to read a page of The Daily Stoic and several pages of whatever book I’m reading.  At the moment I’m re-reading Walden.  Once the coffee is done and I’ve read several pages, I begin my regular day.

      Habit loops are funny things.  I’ve established, slipped out of, and re-established habits over the years.  But I always default to simple.  And I’m keeping things simple this time around.  I was doing 50 burpees every day last summer and fall, until I injured myself pushing through when my body was telling me to take a break.  That was a good lesson that I hope I’ll remember.  Instead of making myself do 50 burpees I’m doing 10 with the 500 meter warmup before and a 500 meter cool down afterwards.  Adding more to the routine is fine, but this will be my minimum activity when I’m at home.

      When I travel I won’t have access to an erg.  So I’m going to have to change the routine up for those days.  The easiest thing to do is walk, and so I’ll walk for a warmup, do the burpees, and walk some more.  Travel exercise will be the real test for this habit loop.  But for now I’m going to just keep on doing what I’m doing, gradually adding more meters and exercises into the habit loop.  Simple, right?

    • The Meeting of Two Eternities

      It is true, I never assisted the sun materially in his rising, but, doubt not, it was of the last importance only to be present at it. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      “I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and the future, which is precisely the present moment.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      I’ve come around to Walden once again.  Thoreau to me has always been a distant cousin.  A kindred spirit.  A guy on the short list of people in history I’d have a beer or two with.  Some people just speak more clearly to you than others.  To pluck these two magnificent quotes from the same page of Walden demonstrates this.  Thoreau has spoken to me off and on for years.  The “off” years were solely my own distraction.

      It’s Sunday.  The beginning of the week.  I’ve missed today’s sunrise so I posted a picture from the last sunrise of 2018.  Sunrises infer a new day, and a fresh start.  But it’s also the sharpened edge of the past and the present, of the two eternities.  Isn’t that our lives as well?  We’re all witnesses to the present.  I’m particularly focused on what came before me, and look ahead with optimism to the future, but if I’ve been anything over the years it’s tuned to the now.

      Thoreau was an acute observer of the moment, but also an acute participant in the moment.  I aspire to be the same.  Writing helps with observation, as it forces you to notice things.  I’ve noticed more things since I’ve been writing this blog.  I’ve learned to listen to the voices around me, but also the landscape.  Participation comes with observation.  To see the sunrise you’ve got to get out of bed.  To walk through an old French fort from the 17th century you’ve got to know why it matters, where it is and then go to it.  To be a good father or friend or spouse or son you’ve got to be present in the lives of those who identify you that way.

      Observation doesn’t lead to participation, you’ve got to have the drive to do what must be done.  The floor is dirty?  Clean the floor.  A friend needs a shoulder and an ear?  Offer both freely.  The pipeline needs to be filled?  Make more sales calls and move opportunities forward.  Participation requires action.  Being an observer of life doesn’t equate to living.

      So I’m re-reading Walden.  I know already that I’m going to get more out of it than I did when I read it as an unfocused nineteen year-old.  The words didn’t reflect back to me quite the same way then.  But it meant a lot even then.  And more so now.  Everything has its time.

    • Yes… and especially, No

      I’ve been very deliberately cleansing my news feed.  I Believe that I need to be informed, see both sides of issues and get my news from multiple sources.  But there’s so much insidious outrage porn out there that I’ve become an aggressive editor to what comes at me.  This is not analogous to putting my head in the sand, I’m still aware of what matters.  No, this is self-preservation.

      It started with the obvious.  Don’t watch the local bleed it leads news.  Don’t listen to politic outrage radio.  Don’t listen to sports radio that only seeks less to infor, highlight and discuss as it does to mock, rage and complain.

      But digging deeper, it meant muting friends and family who post clickbate outrage.  Sifting out the people I follow on Twitter based on not just what they post, but what they like.  These likes end up in my feed whether I want them or not.  Thanks a bunch Twitter.

      This falls into the know what to say no to philosophy.  I’m getting better at saying no.  But also yes.  I’m following more long-form bloggers like Farnom Street and Brain Pickings.  I’ve been following Seth Godin for years.  Instead of being a slave to the radio I listen to podcasts.  And after talking to a friend I’ve decided to give Audible another go.  Other yeses are Instagram feeds from places I want to go, or go back to.

      Ultimately we become what we focus on.  In this world where everything demands your focus, saying no more seems to be the only way to move ahead.  No gives you more elbow room for yes.

    • Woodpeckers and Daily Reading

      I’m trying to establish better habits – nothing new there, I’ve written about it before.  When I’m home, my morning habit starts with helping Bodhi get up and outside for a little relief.  I drink a pint of water and brew coffee while he’s outside, and read a little.  Simple start-the-engines stuff.

      I take stock of things.  Then read a bit of Daily Stoic, and a bit of Seth Godin.  Today, both had lines that stuck with me:

      “One day it will all make sense.” – Ryan Holiday

      “Whenever you find yourself blaming providence, turn it around in your mind and you will see that what has happened is in keeping with reason.” – Epictetus

      “We get what we remember, and we remember what we focus on.” – Seth Godin

      About the time I was reading the Seth blog I recognized that Bodhi had been out for awhile and it was time to help him up the stairs.  Walking outside, I heard the loud, rapid fire rap of a pileated woodpecker in the woods.  As if in response, I heard a second pileated woodpecker (they travel in pairs) making the same loud, rapid fire rap in response.  This repeated a couple of times before I went back inside, grateful for the reminder that not everything that matters is happening in my own head.

       

    • Getting Smarter

      “Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you woke up. Day by day, and at the end of the day – if you live long enough-like most people, you will get out of life what you deserve.”  
      – Charles T. Munger

      I’ve heard this quote a few times over the last few years, and try to live by this rule of consistent, incremental improvement over time.  But especially now.  Now I’m past the halfway mark on my hundred year odyssey.  I figure if family genes have anything to do with it I may suffer from some dementia at some point in my senior years.  I’m hoping that continuous learning combined with medical advancements in memory care multiplied by vibrant life experience will fend off the worst of it until I hit triple digits.  But hell, you just don’t know in this world do you?

      So every day I read.  Mostly non-fiction history or business books, but I mix in page-turner fictional novels along the way, and the occasional classic.  I read a daily dose of stoicism from Ryan Holiday.  I read a few articles in The Athletic or Sports Illustrated.  And God help me I keep an increasingly reluctant finger on the pulse of politics.

      And every day I write.  I journal a bit, but blog a bit more.  Life observations, history, conservationist ramblings, stoicism and hopefully some self-depreciating humor along the way.  Perhaps this will extend my memory and serve as a reminder should it falter someday.  Perhaps it will serve as the foundation for a book someday.  Time will tell.

      What I don’t do every day, but try to do most days, is to anchor my days in vibrant life experiences.  I’d be a fool if I said every day was vibrant, but every day offers experiences.  And I’m trying to suck the marrow out of each of them.  Hopefully I’ll remember most of it when I hit the century mark.

       

    • Routines & Systems

      “Routine is one of the most powerful tools for removing obstacles.  Without routine, the pull of nonessential distractions will overpower us.  But if we create a routine that enshrines the essentials, we will begin to execute them on autopilot.” – Greg McKeown

      I’m a big believer in established routines.  Unfortunately I’ve got a lazy routine established at the moment.  Not enough rowing, walking, burpees, and weights.  A few days ago I set out to re-establish a routine by starting small – ten burpees and ten push-ups.  Just do them at the same time every morning, just after I get up, and once the routine is established start increasing the workload.

      James Clear, in Atomic Habits, talks about focusing on a system, and not on goals.  I feel that’s about right too.  He also says it’s okay to miss, but don’t ever miss twice.  More good advice.  Of course, I missed more than twice, but who’s counting?  I should be.

      Last summer and fall I had a pretty solid routine that included fifty burpees per day, no matter what.  But then I injured my back, and that what mattered.  My back is back to normal again, but the routine of fifty burpees per day hasn’t reappeared.  Perhaps starting with ten and building back up again will do the trick.  After all, ten is way better than zero.

    • Morning Cleanup

      This morning I got up early and did my usual Saturday morning routine when I’m at home: Coffee and some contemplation, followed by the outside chores.

      Step one as I sip coffee is to look around the house and yard to take stock of what needs to be done.  Once my coffee is done I’ll get to work.  This morning that meant putting on my boots and winter gear and heading outside to shovel shit.  In summer?  Eliminate step one.  This shit’s not going to take care of itself.

      Chores are a form of meditation if you approach them the right way.  Tasks done repetitively, and done well, are a reward in and of themselves, even when that task is shoveling up dog crap.  I don’t take pleasure in the process, but in the result it brings.  Clean yard, walkway, deck…  wherever he’s done his business.  Winter with an old dog is tough.

      Despite having responsibilities in my teens and twenties, I can point to one event that accelerated my journey to adulthood.  I was married to the wrong woman at the time, and had moved to Connecticut with her — literally meeting her halfway between where she’d lived and where I’d lived prior to that.  She got a job before I did, and while I looked for a job I worked part-time at Guiding Eyes for the Blind cleaning dog kennels.  Nothing offers perspective like realizing you’re in a bad marriage while shoveling the crap out of 30 kennels, hosing them down and then going outside to clean up the outdoor kennels they occupied while you were cleaning the indoor kennels.  Day after day while you look for a job in a place where you know next to nobody.

      I thought that, until I became a parent, thankfully in a great marriage the second time around, where changing diapers became one of my primary roles.  Explosive diarrhea blows out a diaper?  Clean it up and change their clothes.  Son’s explosive diarrhea up the entire sleeve of your dress shirt?  Clean it up and change your shirt.  Daughter’s barium enema leaks out all over your dress shoes?  Clean it up and buy new dress shoes.  Shit happens.

      So now, with an older dog who tends to shit while he’s walking somewhere to take a shit, there’s a lot of cleanup again.  But I have perspective on what cleanup can be.  Not optimal but not so bad.  Bodhi is one of many to teach me a lot about myself over the years.  Certainly patience was a key lesson as he went from his adolescent years to his adult years to his senior years.  He’s teaching me a final lesson.  Today it’s him.  Someday it may be me.

      But not today.  The shit’s cleaned up, the bird feeders are filled.  Snow is falling now, adding a coating of white over the places I’d just cleaned.  Looking over at the feeders I see three bluebirds taking turns at one of the feeders.  It’s going to be a good day.

    • Reading Water

      Back in college when I rowed, we would row in all kinds of conditions.  In general we would row in just about anything.  But two things you never wanted to see when you were rowing were lightning and whitecaps.  Lightning was a problem on summer afternoons.  Whitecaps were a problem on bigger bodies of water.  It’s been years since I rowed.  I have strong memories of rowing in both thunderstorms with lightning crashing around us and in races where the whitecaps were cresting over the gunwales.

      I don’t row on water anymore, but I still look to the water whenever I’m around it, and read the surface as I once did as a rower.  Rowers read the water a little bit differently than sailors do.  Where sailors read the water looking for puffs to propel the boat forward, rowers look to those same puffs with a mental calculation of what that means to the set of the boat.  Wind and water conditions determine rigging, strategy in a race, and whether you’re going out on the water or hitting the ergs.

      Sunday I was looking out at Buzzards Bay and watching the gusts of wind ripple across the glassy water.  It reminded me of those days reading the rivers and lakes that we rowed on.  And I remembered that I miss rowing.