Alexandersmap

    Category: Habits

    • Walden & High Agency

      The great thing about motivational quotes is they represent wisdom and offer insight for us in our own lives, conveniently boiled down from a pile of words.  The drawback, of course, is that you’re only reading a small part of whatever the quoted person was trying to say, usually twisted into some new meaning in its abbreviated form.  As I’ve re-read and re-discovered Walden, as you may expect many old, familiar quotes pop up.  This particular thread from the Conclusion chapter, takes on a much deeper meaning when you consume everything Thoreau wrote (the oft-quoted  words in bold):

      “I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there.  Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one.  It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves…  The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels.  How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity!”

      “I learned this, at least by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.  He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of things.  In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness.  If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost, that is where they should be.  Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      As romantic a notion as building castles in the air is, these words seem just a little too up with people for general consumption on their own.  Like one of those motivational posters you see in offices around the world.  But taken in the context of the rest of the paragraph, they become more meaningful.  Thoreau is reminding us that we all fall into routines as individuals, and also as societies, but if we only have the courage to break out of those routines in focused pursuit of loftier objectives, the universe aligns to support us in achieving these objectives.

      Reading Walden again, I’ve realized that I glazed over much of it the first time I read it as a teenager.  The words simply didn’t mean as much to me then as they do now.  But isn’t that the case with everything?  We all pick up a little wisdom as we move through life.  But we also pick up bad habits, assumptions and biases, and become the sum of the parts around us.  Choose your path, establish those tiny, sticky habits that move you towards your objective, surround yourself with the right people and you will pass that invisible boundary Thoreau describes.  Routines can build you into something much greater than you imagine, but they can also hold you down.  Get off the worn-down mental path and see the world in a new way.

      “The universe is bigger than our views of it.” – Henry David Thoreau

      Speaking of the universe, it seems to align with the way I’m thinking at a given moment.  I know that’s not entirely accurate, I just notice things more when I happen to be thinking about something related to it, like suddenly seeing white Honda Accords everywhere as soon as you start driving one.  So upon posting this article I scanned Twitter briefly and what do I find but George Mack’s Twitter thread about High Agency, which he heard about from a Tim Ferriss interview with Eric Weinstein:

      “High Agency is a sense that the story given to you by other people about what you can/cannot do is just that – a story.  [A] High Agency person looks to bend reality to their will.  They either find a way or they make a way.  [A] Low Agency person accepts the story that is given to them.  They never question it.  They are passive.  They outsource all their decision-making to other people.

      So a Low Agency person believes the world is as people say it is.  That’s just the way things are.  A High Agency person believes the universe is bigger than our view of it, as Thoreau so eloquently states it.  Be the change you want to see in the world. and what is more High Agency than “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost, that is where they should be.  Now put the foundations under them.”?

    • The Endpoints of the Day

      Winning the day starts with the morning. I’m pretty good with the morning now, but there are plenty of mornings where the evening gets in the way. Eat too much, stay up to late, have a few drinks and the morning routine is more challenging. So this ridiculously easy habit stack I have has bailed me out on a few mornings where I wasn’t feeling up to the challenge but did it anyway. If the morning is the angel on one shoulder, the evening can be the devil on the other; full of all kinds of triggers and temptations. Glass of wine? Why not? Bread with dinner? Why not?  I’ve been good today… Slippery slope.

      The morning represents a new hope for the day ahead.  You’ve got your whole day ahead of you!  So very much you can do today!  The evening has its own pleasures of course, but ultimately you’re left with a feeling that I’ve accomplished all I can today or I haven’t done what I needed to do today.  Either way it’s an end point.  Last call.  Give me beginnings.

      “We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass that confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring. In a pleasant morning all men’s sins are forgiven. Such a day is a truce to vice…. bless the new day, feel the spring influence with the innocence of infancy, and all… faults are forgotten.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      Thoreau pleads with us to live in the moment, but also to bless the new day and forget the past.  Sign me up…

      Also on the morning habit stack is reading, and this morning’s Daily Stoic entry made me chuckle after writing the title of this post: Carpe Diem. It featured this gem of a quote:

      “Let us therefore set out whole-heartedly, leaving aside our many distractions and exert ourselves in this single purpose, before we realize too late the swift and unstoppable flight of time and are left behind. As each day arises, welcome it as the very best day of all, and make it your own possession. We must seize what flees.” – Seneca, Moral Letters

      Seize what flees.  No matter the time.  This day…  this moment.

    • Identity

      For all the goals and strategic plans I’ve put together in my lifetime, I don’t believe it all led to a massive leap forward in fitness levels, or weight, or quota attainment, or some other goal I’ve had along the way.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in goals and working plans.  But identity trumps all.  And over time, what you identify yourself as is much more critical to who you are in the end.

      “No, that’s not me.” – Arya Stark, Game of Thrones

      “The identity itself becomes the enforcer.  You do it because it’s who you are and it feels good to be you.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits

      Identity changes over time of course, hammered into shape by life experiences, hardships and setback, lucky breaks, being born in the right place at the right time, and the people you surround yourself with.  I grew up thinking of myself as a son, grandson, brother, cousin, nephew, friend.  Later I evolved into a student, athlete, hiker, rower, mountain biker, sailor, salesperson, manager, husband, father.  And along the way I’ve dropped a few things while adding others.  I don’t mountain bike anymore, but I still had my mountain bike from when I was 24 until I was 48.  I kept telling myself I’d get back to it eventually until I told myself eventually wasn’t happening.

      I’ve seen friends go from couch potatoes to avid, frequent hikers and change their bodies and outlook on life in the process.  I’ve experienced and watched others deal with depression, loss of family members and job loss, divorce, health scares and relocation to faraway places.  Ultimately it all impacts your identity – who you believe you are – and changes it.  But identity works the other way too – when you identify yourself as a resilient, disciplined athlete you’re much less likely to react to setbacks with destructive behavior.

      Time and bad habits erode the best of foundations, so reinforcing identity with positive habits is the best way I know maintain a solid base.  I’ve watched my wife run consistently for the entire time that I’ve known her, and it’s a core part of her identity.  We have more 5K t-shirts in this house than I can count, and everywhere I look there’s another road race medal hanging off of something or other.  But it’s an identity that makes her healthier and more resilient than a lot of other people in the same age bracket.  Her consistency of effort is admirable and a source of inspiration for me as I fight year in and year out to build a similar level of consistency in my workouts.

      I’ve been doing the same routine all month, and honestly I’m not making a ton of progress from a weight loss standpoint, but I am getting stronger, I am reading and writing more, I am feeling better about myself and I am reinforcing a new identity as an disciplined person who works out every morning, is an avid reader and consistent writer.  That reading and writing part of my identity has led me to seek out new places on the map, and to chase down long forgotten ghosts and dance with them across history.

      James Clear’s Atomic Habits was a timely read for me, and I’ve referenced it here and in many other blog posts since I read it.  Perhaps the one phrase of his resonates more than any other, and that is in building habits slowly, at a point that feels like it’s not work, we are casting votes for your new identity.  Such a simple phrase, and yet it instantly highlights exactly what daily routines, habits and systems are doing; working in your favor or against you.

      New Years Eve, birthdays, new quarters or months; all offer an opportunity to reflect on the past, determine what went right, what needs to be improved upon, and what changes to your routines and system need to change.  Of course, every moment offers the same opportunity.  What I was five minutes ago impacts who I am now (so don’t eat that donut), and what I do now – this moment – casts a vote for what my identity will be now and in the future.  Simple right?

       

    • Finishing What You Started

      This morning I find myself in Hopkinton, Massachusetts for a meeting.  Being typically early offers benefits beyond being late.  Today it meant a quick visit to the starting line of the Boston Marathon, which has been the traditional starting place for the race since 1897.  I’ve watched the finish of the marathon many times, particularly those years when my wife ran the race, but I’ve never seen the start in Hopkinton other than watching it on television.  The race was a week ago so the paint is still fresh on the starting line.  And just like on race day this year, the road is wet from all the rain we’ve had.

      I’ve crossed the starting line and the finish line once in my life, but I wasn’t running.  I did the Jimmy Fund Walk 12 or 13 years ago.  I raised money of course, but otherwise I did the walk with little fanfare and no family or friends lining the course for me.  Young kids at home at the time, soccer game that day, and frankly it’s a walk-a-thon it wasn’t the running of the marathon.  Some things don’t warrant much attention I guess.

      I was commenting on the string of jobs I’ve had since that Jimmy Fund Walk.  Outside of a five year gig at one company, I’ve had two-year stints at three different companies, and I’ve been at my current company for one year.  I like small companies with a level of risk in them.  I also like the flexibility that comes with sales jobs, as I’ve documented recently.  But I always intend to finish what I’ve started and keep pressing ahead trying to make things work wherever I land.  I hope to be at this company until I retire, but you never know.  I have learned from each place I’ve been, even if I haven’t gotten rich at any of them.

      If I wasn’t in Hopkinton today I wouldn’t have sought out the starting line.  I’ve driven by the exit a million times without a thought of stopping in.  But here I was today, thinking about the start, and that walk back in 2006 or 2007.  Hell, I don’t even know where the medal is I got that day.  I’m happy that I finished what I started of course, but for all my ghost dancing I don’t live in the past.  I move along, believing that slow and steady wins the race….  or at least gives you a fighting chance of finishing what you started.

    • Pruning

      “Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savor the time you have.” – Paul Graham

      Spring is a good time to assess the yard, clean up the debris that accumulates over winter that was covered over in snow, fix things that need fixing, and prune the trees and shrubs to clean up any winter kill and promote growth of healthy new shoots.  I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      I watch less television than ever.  I moved all my social media apps into a file called Time Suckers.  I deleted Words With Friends and other such games.  I steer clear of negative people who infect the air with poisonous rhetoric.  I eliminate a meal more often.  I’m not a monk mind you, but I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      Instead, I write more than I’ve written since college.  I exercise every morning even if just a little bit.  I read immediately after exercise, even if just a little bit.  I research the places I go and look for interesting things to see and do there and try to get to those places and then write about them to help me remember what I saw and learned during my visit.

      I’m more present in the moment.  Not just the easy stuff like smelling the roses when they’re in bloom, but the harder stuff that’s easy to ignore.  I wash the dishes, sweep the floor and do the laundry.  I call old friends and family more often, and try to see them when I can.  And in work break out of the familiar routines and make new contacts, learn new skills and push myself out of the comfort zone.  I’ve gotten better promoting growth over the years.  And savoring the time that I have.

      I was going to end this blog post right there, and in fact did publish it.  Then I read Brain Pickings today and apparently I’m not the only one thinking this way today.  Maria Popova tackled time management in her own way, with quotes from Walt Whitman, Seneca and others.  So instead of ending this post on my own observations, I’ll lean in on Seneca to wrap up this post:

      “Set yourself free for your own sake; gather and save your time, which til lately has been forced from you, or filched away, or has merely slipped from your hands…  Certain moments are torn from us… some are gently removed…. others glide beyond our reach.  The most disgraceful kind of loss, however, is that due to carelessness.” – Seneca

    • Habit Loops and Morning Routines

      I’m in the middle of establishing a new habit loop that is embarrassingly easy at the moment.  I set my alarm for 5:45 AM in case my internal alarm clock doesn’t work.  When I get up I immediately get dressed in workout clothes, go downstairs and turn on the coffee maker.  I pour myself 16 ounces of cold water and finish it, then head down to the basement for a workout.

      My workout is the embarrassing part, at least for someone who’s done a lot more over the years.  I set the erg for 500 meters, slide up and down on the seat a few times to stretch out my calves, take off my wedding ring and row the 500 as a warmup piece.  When I finish it, I slip the by now cold ring back on my finger, feel it warm up as my body heat conducts onto it, and then stand up.  I take a breath and then do 10 burpees with emphasis on full range of motion on the pushup and big air on the jump.  After 10 burpees I sit back down on the erg and repeat the routine I did with the 500 meters and the ring.

      This workout is more of a warmup than a real workout.  I know that.  But I’m establishing a routine following the advice of James Clear in Atomic Habits.  I’m going to eventually built up to 5000 meters, add weights to the workout, pullups and pushups, and all that.  But for now when I wake up and I’m reluctant to get out of bed my mind is wrapped around this quick routine, and I’m not going to rush the process as I build the habit.

      To complete my habit loop, I walk back upstairs after the workout, have another 16 ounces of cold water, make a cup of coffee, grab my ipad and sit down to read a page of The Daily Stoic and several pages of whatever book I’m reading.  At the moment I’m re-reading Walden.  Once the coffee is done and I’ve read several pages, I begin my regular day.

      Habit loops are funny things.  I’ve established, slipped out of, and re-established habits over the years.  But I always default to simple.  And I’m keeping things simple this time around.  I was doing 50 burpees every day last summer and fall, until I injured myself pushing through when my body was telling me to take a break.  That was a good lesson that I hope I’ll remember.  Instead of making myself do 50 burpees I’m doing 10 with the 500 meter warmup before and a 500 meter cool down afterwards.  Adding more to the routine is fine, but this will be my minimum activity when I’m at home.

      When I travel I won’t have access to an erg.  So I’m going to have to change the routine up for those days.  The easiest thing to do is walk, and so I’ll walk for a warmup, do the burpees, and walk some more.  Travel exercise will be the real test for this habit loop.  But for now I’m going to just keep on doing what I’m doing, gradually adding more meters and exercises into the habit loop.  Simple, right?

    • The Meeting of Two Eternities

      It is true, I never assisted the sun materially in his rising, but, doubt not, it was of the last importance only to be present at it. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      “I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and the future, which is precisely the present moment.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      I’ve come around to Walden once again.  Thoreau to me has always been a distant cousin.  A kindred spirit.  A guy on the short list of people in history I’d have a beer or two with.  Some people just speak more clearly to you than others.  To pluck these two magnificent quotes from the same page of Walden demonstrates this.  Thoreau has spoken to me off and on for years.  The “off” years were solely my own distraction.

      It’s Sunday.  The beginning of the week.  I’ve missed today’s sunrise so I posted a picture from the last sunrise of 2018.  Sunrises infer a new day, and a fresh start.  But it’s also the sharpened edge of the past and the present, of the two eternities.  Isn’t that our lives as well?  We’re all witnesses to the present.  I’m particularly focused on what came before me, and look ahead with optimism to the future, but if I’ve been anything over the years it’s tuned to the now.

      Thoreau was an acute observer of the moment, but also an acute participant in the moment.  I aspire to be the same.  Writing helps with observation, as it forces you to notice things.  I’ve noticed more things since I’ve been writing this blog.  I’ve learned to listen to the voices around me, but also the landscape.  Participation comes with observation.  To see the sunrise you’ve got to get out of bed.  To walk through an old French fort from the 17th century you’ve got to know why it matters, where it is and then go to it.  To be a good father or friend or spouse or son you’ve got to be present in the lives of those who identify you that way.

      Observation doesn’t lead to participation, you’ve got to have the drive to do what must be done.  The floor is dirty?  Clean the floor.  A friend needs a shoulder and an ear?  Offer both freely.  The pipeline needs to be filled?  Make more sales calls and move opportunities forward.  Participation requires action.  Being an observer of life doesn’t equate to living.

      So I’m re-reading Walden.  I know already that I’m going to get more out of it than I did when I read it as an unfocused nineteen year-old.  The words didn’t reflect back to me quite the same way then.  But it meant a lot even then.  And more so now.  Everything has its time.

    • Yes… and especially, No

      I’ve been very deliberately cleansing my news feed.  I Believe that I need to be informed, see both sides of issues and get my news from multiple sources.  But there’s so much insidious outrage porn out there that I’ve become an aggressive editor to what comes at me.  This is not analogous to putting my head in the sand, I’m still aware of what matters.  No, this is self-preservation.

      It started with the obvious.  Don’t watch the local bleed it leads news.  Don’t listen to politic outrage radio.  Don’t listen to sports radio that only seeks less to infor, highlight and discuss as it does to mock, rage and complain.

      But digging deeper, it meant muting friends and family who post clickbate outrage.  Sifting out the people I follow on Twitter based on not just what they post, but what they like.  These likes end up in my feed whether I want them or not.  Thanks a bunch Twitter.

      This falls into the know what to say no to philosophy.  I’m getting better at saying no.  But also yes.  I’m following more long-form bloggers like Farnom Street and Brain Pickings.  I’ve been following Seth Godin for years.  Instead of being a slave to the radio I listen to podcasts.  And after talking to a friend I’ve decided to give Audible another go.  Other yeses are Instagram feeds from places I want to go, or go back to.

      Ultimately we become what we focus on.  In this world where everything demands your focus, saying no more seems to be the only way to move ahead.  No gives you more elbow room for yes.

    • Woodpeckers and Daily Reading

      I’m trying to establish better habits – nothing new there, I’ve written about it before.  When I’m home, my morning habit starts with helping Bodhi get up and outside for a little relief.  I drink a pint of water and brew coffee while he’s outside, and read a little.  Simple start-the-engines stuff.

      I take stock of things.  Then read a bit of Daily Stoic, and a bit of Seth Godin.  Today, both had lines that stuck with me:

      “One day it will all make sense.” – Ryan Holiday

      “Whenever you find yourself blaming providence, turn it around in your mind and you will see that what has happened is in keeping with reason.” – Epictetus

      “We get what we remember, and we remember what we focus on.” – Seth Godin

      About the time I was reading the Seth blog I recognized that Bodhi had been out for awhile and it was time to help him up the stairs.  Walking outside, I heard the loud, rapid fire rap of a pileated woodpecker in the woods.  As if in response, I heard a second pileated woodpecker (they travel in pairs) making the same loud, rapid fire rap in response.  This repeated a couple of times before I went back inside, grateful for the reminder that not everything that matters is happening in my own head.

       

    • Getting Smarter

      “Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you woke up. Day by day, and at the end of the day – if you live long enough-like most people, you will get out of life what you deserve.”  
      – Charles T. Munger

      I’ve heard this quote a few times over the last few years, and try to live by this rule of consistent, incremental improvement over time.  But especially now.  Now I’m past the halfway mark on my hundred year odyssey.  I figure if family genes have anything to do with it I may suffer from some dementia at some point in my senior years.  I’m hoping that continuous learning combined with medical advancements in memory care multiplied by vibrant life experience will fend off the worst of it until I hit triple digits.  But hell, you just don’t know in this world do you?

      So every day I read.  Mostly non-fiction history or business books, but I mix in page-turner fictional novels along the way, and the occasional classic.  I read a daily dose of stoicism from Ryan Holiday.  I read a few articles in The Athletic or Sports Illustrated.  And God help me I keep an increasingly reluctant finger on the pulse of politics.

      And every day I write.  I journal a bit, but blog a bit more.  Life observations, history, conservationist ramblings, stoicism and hopefully some self-depreciating humor along the way.  Perhaps this will extend my memory and serve as a reminder should it falter someday.  Perhaps it will serve as the foundation for a book someday.  Time will tell.

      What I don’t do every day, but try to do most days, is to anchor my days in vibrant life experiences.  I’d be a fool if I said every day was vibrant, but every day offers experiences.  And I’m trying to suck the marrow out of each of them.  Hopefully I’ll remember most of it when I hit the century mark.