Alexandersmap

    Category: Philosophy

    • A Change in Inclination

      Rain and wind, and wind and rain.
      Will the Summer come again?
      Rain on houses, on the street,
      Wetting all the people’s feet,
      Though they run with might and main.
      Rain and wind, and wind and rain.

      Snow and sleet, and sleet and snow.
      Will the Winter never go?
      What do beggar children do
      With no fire to cuddle to,
      P’raps with nowhere warm to go?
      Snow and sleet, and sleet and snow.

      Hail and ice, and ice and hail,
      Water frozen in the pail.
      See the robins, brown and red,
      They are waiting to be fed.
      Poor dears, battling in the gale!
      Hail and ice, and ice and hail.
      — Katherine Mansfield, Winter Song

      With the winter solstice come and gone, I thought it timely for us to consider a winter song. For the days are short, cold and dark, but aye, they are once again inclined towards longer. To be on the other side of the shortest day may mean little when the harshest winter days are ahead of us, or perhaps it means everything. As with all things, the choice is ours. And isn’t our perspective on life mostly based on what we choose to focus on?

      Winter Song reminds us that there are people suffering in the cold and dark of winter. Consider this a call to action to help those less fortunate than we are—surely the world needs more people focused on raising the average instead of spreading the gap. We cannot solve the problems in this world by ourselves, but we can make each person we interact with either colder and darker or warmer and brighter by the way we treat them. Again, the choice is ours to make.

      We may have almost nothing in common with each other, but we have some things in common, and something is a foothold to more things. Footholds lead to connection, so long as we aren’t pushing someone away. Abundance is a mindset, just as scarcity is. As the days begin to grow longer again, perhaps that tilt of the earth may offer a change in inclination within—an inclination towards connection. ’tis the season, after all.

    • Friends and Adversaries

      “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

      We work hard to avoid being critical of others, but the thoughts are there just the same. We develop a good filter as we grow, keeping some thoughts to ourselves, finding that polite way to say something that must be said, and practicing active-avoidance when absolutely necessary. The last few years there’s been a fair amount of active-avoidance as chaos ensued in the world at large. This is a survival skill, garnered from a keen value for the preciousness of time.

      My opinions are generally known by my closest friends and adversaries(the people who pay the most attention). Who has more at stake in knowing who we really are? If I’m learning anything as I move towards another decade checked off on this planet, it’s to stop working so hard to be an adversary and accept the path that I’m on myself. Let others take the prizes once coveted, my quest now is to learn and grow. And this shift in attitude, this shift in focus, is itself growth.

    • Plans and Adages

      “It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those remote oceans it is noticeable that a cat’s plans and a man’s are worth about the same.”
      ― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World

      I planned to do a few things this week that simply didn’t happen because of other things that were more pressing in the moment. Perhaps this has happened to you? Naturally. We’re all human, we make our plans and God laughs. We all have heard this adage and accept it even as some question the laugher, because plans have a way of changing no matter how stubborn we are about sticking with them.

      Mark Twain, bobbing around in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, was likely wondering what went wrong with his own plans that brought him there. He’d accepted a lecture circuit around the British Empire because he’d lost most of his fortune in bad investments. Through adversity we find opportunity. Finding the silver lining is a path to resilience. We are built to transcend obstacles and challenges, even if we don’t always realize it at the time.

      Speaking of challenges, trying to eat well and to drink in moderation (or not at all) during the holidays is just about as challenging as trying to fit in a solid workout when the days feel so short and frenzied. It’s easier to simply give in and eat the cookies and chocolate that people seem to throw at you this time of year (why does everyone bake so much in December?). What’s one more cookie anyway? The truth shall set you free, and when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Or at least stop eating and go take a walk. The dog would like that, and so would the waistline. After all, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

      If I’ve learned anything from having a few of these holidays under my belt, it’s to celebrate the season, but maybe temper that enthusiasm for treats with a bit more active lifestyle. Nothing ventured, nothing gained may be true, but don’t venture into too many treats and too few steps!

      Earlier this week I met with a couple of industry friends at a brewery. It became apparent that I’ve (thankfully) lost my ability to keep pace downing pints, and I opted out of the latter rounds in favor of staying under the legal limit for my commute home. All things in moderation, we tell ourselves. Just remember that moderation for some is excess for others. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

      It may be true that we are never too old to learn, but it’s also true that we aren’t getting any younger. So sure, we ought to do things now that will be impossible to do later, but maybe lean into the healthier choices that build a stronger foundation for that future version of us that we hope is strong and vibrant and maybe even a little scandalously adventurous for the age we are at the time. At least, that’s the plan.

    • To Be Productive and Daring

      Give winter nothing; hold; and let the flake
      Poise or dissolve along your upheld arms.
      All flawless hexagons may melt and break;
      While you must feel the summer’s rage of fire,
      Beyond this frigid season’s empty storms.
      Banished to bloom, and bear the birds’ desire.
      — James Wright, To a Troubled Friend

      Winter is thriving. The darkest day of the year is almost upon us, and then Christmas, and New Year’s, and before we know it we’ll be looking ahead to spring. At least that’s the hope of winter days. We look ahead, placing ourselves in some future place, brighter and perhaps warmer than where we are now. But now is the gift we forever ignore at our peril.

      I want to make something of this day—to be productive and daring. To do the things I promise myself I’ll do in the earliest hours, before the sun rises, before the first coffee bolsters my courage, before this blog post is captured and released for your consideration. Before is now for the productive mind. Now is the time to write and create something, now is the time to do that workout that mocks us. Now is before we get to those things. After is like another season altogether for the busiest mind.

      It’s all a blur of restless productivity towards something beyond here and now. Simply do what must be done next, and beyond will be there waiting. How we like to believe it so! Do with today what we only dream about for tomorrow. For all flawless hexagons may melt and break.

    • Connection

      “Ye live not for yourselves; ye cannot live for yourselves ; a thousand fibres connect you with your fellow-men, and along those fibres, as along sympathetic threads, run your actions as causes, and return to you as effects.” — Reverend Henry Melvill

      On Author’s Ridge at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord, Massachusetts the legends are interred—Emerson, Hawthorne, Alcott, Thoreau and others. I’ve visited and written about Author’s Ridge many times in this blog, because it fascinates me that so many who reached such literary fame would then choose to spend eternity in such close proximity to one another. Emerson once said that “the only way to have a friend is to be one”. The legendary families of Concord lived this so deeply that they carried it over to death.

      There are only a few people who we count as true friends, but we build connection with countless people. Our connections form a network that serves us even as we serve the network. Each individual connection may be tenuous, but woven together with many others, trust is built, reputations are formed, careers are made and communities grow into something special.

      We learn that connections are dynamic. Some people that were simply connections grow into true friends, and some true friends slip back to connections. The fabric of our connections is dynamic and ever-changing, just as we ourselves change. We receive what we nurture. Connections form over time—but they also inform over time. We learn which connections will run deep and which are merely transactional in the moment.

      Some would say that it’s a little harder to have such connections as the Concord authors had now. We don’t all live in such close proximity today. Technology may make it easier to be connected, but it’s also an active agent in pulling us apart. To be connected, we must do our part to maintain that connection. Some people are just natural connectors, but it’s nothing more than checking in on someone now and then to see how they’re doing. Do it enough and a few actually check in on us too. We don’t have to consider eternity when we reach out, simply finding connection today is enough.

    • The Crooked Path

      “Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.”― Immanuel Kant

      We are all imperfect beings. Perfectly so, we might add. And it follows that to look for perfection in others or ourselves is a foolish pursuit of what will never be. It’s a false peak that excites us for a brief moment before we recognize that we haven’t arrived yet. For every step forward in one part of our lives, we seem to take two back in some other part. Such is life.

      We may embrace our imperfections while still pursuing better. I write every day whether anyone else reads it or not, but I’ve read it over and over again before I publish it because the first draft is crap, the second is still clunky but flows a little better and by the third I’ve swapped out redundant sentences and moved entire paragraphs around. Inevitably, I’ll click publish, scan it yet again and find all the mistakes that were staring at me the whole time. Frustrating, but not entirely unexpected when we are our own proof-reader. Those who read this in email get to share in my late discoveries.

      Yesterday I received an email from a customer who was responding to a large group of recipients. He was driving at the time and using some AI-driven tool to compose and send his email. And naturally what was sent to the entire group was a hot mess of run-on sentences, incorrect, “best-guess” words and such. The composer of that email corrected it when he arrived where he was going, and even then it was a rough go. Emails and texts already tend to be the first draft thoughts of the masses, add an AI tool that doesn’t understand nuance or company product names and what is churned out is far more confusing than simply abstaining from a reply to all.

      The thing is, artificial intelligence will get better, but it will always be a tool in the box. We imperfect humans are the ones who make connections, discern intent and build consensus. To worry about AI is a distraction. We ought to be more concerned about what the real peak is on our own climb. Where are we going? What skills and knowledge and trusted relationships must we accumulate to get there? The climb to perfection will never be a straight line carrying us to the top. It’s always a crooked path. We’ll run out of time before we reach our version of perfect anyway. So all we can do is our best today before we click publish for one more day, and celebrate the effort towards the goal.

    • Survival Skills

      It’s been a frustrating week for people who believe in the inherent good in humanity. Violent acts played out in Australia and in the United States (who would have thought it could ever happen here?). Rob Reiner and his wife were murdered, apparently by their own son, and the person who some believe is the leader of the free world chose to mock that horrible situation with a gleeful diatribe. Class act, orange clown.

      These are days that test the soul. For we want affirmation that we were right about people being good, because we do our best to be good ourselves, and assume others will be doing the same thing. There’s a Latin expression from the New Testament that explains this phenomena: Omnia munda mundis (To the pure, all things are pure). Isn’t it pretty to think so?

      Trust, but verify is a better expression to live by. We covered that last week in this blog. It’s okay to believe in the inherent good in others, but don’t stake your life on it. History is littered with the corpses of trusting souls crushed in the blood lust of evil bastards who don’t think the way that we do. Accepting that fact helps us to figure out who’s truly good and who’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

      We are all doing the best we can in a world full of good people, but peppered by rogues and sociopaths. It behooves us to develop the street smarts to discern who the latter might be. It’s all just survival skills, like learning to look both ways before crossing the road or sniffing the chicken that’s been in the refrigerator for a few extra days. Our ancestors lived long enough to deliver us here, the least we can do is stop believing we live in a Harlequin Romance novel, that we may carry our good genes forward to future generations.

    • Tickled By Audacity

      “Il faut vivre et créer. Vivre à pleurer”
      (Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears)
      ― Albert Camus

      I’ve moved away from apps that teach me to read other languages, because they never really brought me to conversational French or German or Spanish. They aren’t immersive enough for that. Perhaps some of the AI-driven apps will deliver on the promise of multilingual proclivity, but as with most things, we learn by immersing ourselves in proximity to others doing that which we aspire to do. Which is another way to say we ought to challenge ourselves to go and do and be that person who is beyond where we currently are.

      French, for me, is the language I’ve dabbled with too long without mastering. We are all students of something, aren’t we? We may dabble in some things and attempt to master one, maybe two things in a lifetime. Conversational French is as good a skill to aspire to as anything. But skills are merely acquired to bring us to something else. Perhaps reading Camus in the language he wrote in, or perhaps holding one’s own in a local café where the tourists rarely go. We reach places we would never get to through the knowledge and skills we acquire and use.

      To live—vivre—is more than simply going through the motions. We can make a case that going through motions is not living at all. Going through anything is mere existence. To be alive we must do and dare, create and share. Embrace living by turning away from existing, towards something bolder and a little tingly. Those tingles are the nervous system expressing being tickled by audacity.

      Well, to live’s to fly
      All low and high
      So shake the dust off of your wings
      And the sleep out of your eyes
      — Townes Van Zandt, To Live Is to Fly

      How many ways must we say it? Be bold today. Live an expansive life. Try new things with frequency. Wings should never accumulate dust and skills should never be allowed to rust. We’re here to fly and strut our stuff. What is a day but another chance to make something memorable of it? What will we embark on next? What will we finally complete before we run out of time? Immerse yourself. Live and be bold! Vivre à pleurer.

    • Absolute Fullness of Life

      “This world is a great sculptor’s ship. We are the statues and there is a rumor going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.”— C.S. Lewis

      When I was younger we had a Great Dane named Zoe. As you might expect with Great Danes, Zoe was a large and lanky pup, who could easily knock over small children, not out of aggression but in exuberance. She wanted to be a puppy, and puppies get in the mix. Great Danes who get in the mix bump into things now and then. And it’s all part of learning to coexist together. The unique joy of having a large being in one’s life.

      One small child Zoe knocked over was my son, a toddler at the time who was shocked by the experience and became fearful of dogs for a couple of years until he got a little bigger and accustomed to wagging tails and friendly nuzzles. And then we got a dog ourselves and our son was transformed into a dog lover, like the rest of us. He’s grown up to be a basketball player-sized human himself, and while my genes played a part in that, I wonder if Zoe nudged a bit of large and lanky into him herself that day.

      You may know that the name Zoe comes from the Bible and means “absolute fullness of life”. C.S. Lewis had a lot more to say about Zoe than I quoted above (why start with a spoiler?). Essentially, he believed that we are either biological beings or spiritual beings, and we don’t become fully alive until we embrace Christianity and the spiritual life. No matter what you or I believe about embracing a specific religion, we may agree that we don’t fully live until we grow beyond ourselves and embrace something far bigger. We grow into a full life deliberately by what we embrace beyond ourselves.

      When I think back on the relatively short life of a Great Dane, I don’t mourn the duration, I celebrate the joyful exuberance that big dogs bring to our lives. We hope to have a much longer lifespan than the decade or so that a Dane lives, but what’s a few more decades without the pursuit of a full and abundant life? To find inner purpose and feel that fire burning within is to come to life. And isn’t that what we are here for? Come to a higher and more abundant life, while there is time for such things.

    • Expanding Possible

      “History enters when the space of the possible is vastly larger than the space of the actual.”

      “History itself arises out of the adjacent possible.”
      ― Stuart A. Kauffman, Reinventing the Sacred: A New View of Science, Reason, and Religion

      What is success to you? Isn’t success something that stirs emotion within at the very idea of achieving it? Or of having achieved it? Success isn’t a thing at all, but a belief. People chase the idea of success, but often don’t have an idea of what would satiate that drive. So they keep on driving, on and on, to the end—whatever that is. Death, decline, or hopefully, enlightenment and a level of satisfaction with the place achieved during the climb.

      We each woke up this morning, beginning a string of successful moments and achievement of ever-expanding possibilities. Never forget the small victories on the march to summits beyond our present ascent. Writing and publishing this blog post is another small win in a series of possibilities (the streak continues for one more day). Is that success? If we believe it to be. The thing is, we can’t have success always in front of us like a carrot, we’ve got to recognize what we’ve actualized as a big part of what makes us successful.

      I heard the phrase “expanding the adjacent possible” in a Rory Sutherland Knowledge Project interview, as he called it his definition of success. As with any phrase or quote that captures my attention, I naturally look for the original source. Sutherland pointed towards Kauffman, and here we are with another book added to my must-read list. How can we believe ourselves to be well-read when there’s always another book to read?

      As someone who delights in well-spun words and phrases, I found Sutherland’s definition simply breathtaking. What is possible in our life? Not the life we’ve lived thus far, but looking ahead—what possibility are we inclined to expand? What are we willing to trade our life for, as we surely do, chasing our dreams and distractions the way we do?

      Tell me, what is it you plan to do
      with your one wild and precious life?
      — Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

      The year is almost to an end, and with it the closing of any possibility for this particular year in our lives. So many dwell on bucket lists or to-do lists. This focuses us on what we haven’t yet done, which leaves us feeling that there’s a void in our lives. I’ve recently taken a hint from Oliver Burkeman and started listing the things that I’ve done in a day or for the year as a way to expand my idea of possibilities achieved. Mindset is everything in life, and when we grow a list as we accomplish things we begin to realize that we’ve had a very successful time indeed.

      Naturally, there will always be more things to do and be. We may celebrate abundance of that we’ve achieved while delighting in executing on future plans. What is possible now, having done all this? We may grow and be, built on our expanding foundation of accomplishment.

      “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anaïs Nin

      We may agree that life is expansive based on all that we’ve become and done so far in our lives. Were we courageous enough? Might we be more so in the future? Success lies in what we believe the answer to be. Chasing success is folly, akin to chasing happiness. Choosing to expand adjacent possibilities is a life of discovery and action, realized one expansive moment at a time. So as we move beyond the actual that is this day and indeed, this year rapidly drawing to a close—just what is possible next?