Alexandersmap

    Category: Poetry

    • To Be Filled

      When I am among the trees,

      especially the willows and the honey locust,

      equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

      they give off such hints of gladness,

      I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

      I am so distant from the hope of myself,

      in which I have goodness, and discernment,

      and never hurry through the world

      but walk slowly, and bow often.

      Around me the trees stir in their leaves

      and call out, “Stay awhile.”

      The light flows from their branches.

      And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,

      “and you too have come

      into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
      with light, and to shine.”
      — Mary Oliver, When I Am Among the Trees

      This morning it’s raining again.

      For the thirteenth Saturday in a row, I might add.

      Breaking a record, I’m told, for consecutive weekends of rainy Saturdays.

      And even though I’d rather have the sun warm my face and draw my tomato vines to the sky, I don’t mind a rainy morning. If only for the sounds it brings to the forest. If only for the quiet it brings to an otherwise busy mind.

      We may choose how to face each day. My inclination to shine may seem out of step with the times, but it’s my day to face in whatever way I decide to face it. To bring light to darkness is a choice, just as it is a choice to bring darkness to light. How we bring balance back to the world is determined by the collective, but I’ll go on shining as best I can in my time.

      Filled with light, I’m inclined to share it.

    • To Love the Expanse Between Us

      “The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
      ― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

      My bride likes things I shake my head at. Things like programs about serial killers and home remodeling. Those things may not sound similar but in my mind they’re essentially the same thing—innocent people lured into tragic consequences, played out for all to see. She also gushes about shark week all year. It’s can’t-miss programming for her. All programming aspires to be shark week when they grow up. Nothing but bites and blood and thin plot lines with cliffhangers just before the next commercial break. Stop me if you think you’ve seen this one before.

      Me? I’m in the other room reading a book. Or watching a sailing video, or researching the next trip where I’ll force(!) my bride out of her comfort zone doing daring things that involve heights she wants nothing to do with, or daring cross-country escapades that require sleeping in a different bed every night and a willingness to try new foods. No lying on a quiet beach for this vagabond. Not when the maps are full of blank-to-me spaces.

      In short, we’re very different in many ways, yet similar in other ways. Do we focus on the gaps between us, or the things that draw us together? The answer to that determines a happy marriage or a miserable eternal slog praying for the end of time, as Meatloaf used to sing, rest his soul, back when paradise was nothing but a fling illuminated by the dashboard lights. Good luck keeping a marriage going on that illusion. That car better be tuned up, topped off and fitted with new tires, for the journey is long. But isn’t anything worthwhile?

      We reach a point where living side-by-side grows comfortable. We can go an entire drive without saying a word but simply appreciate the time together. We learn to listen for clues hidden in small spaces, and ask questions that get right to the point. Marriage is a journey through time, but also across distance. We’ll never fully close the gap, but why would we ever want to? Be as you are, and give me the space to do the same. That’s where a lifetime together is nurtured. Life isn’t infinite, but it can be marvelous.

    • This is Our Dance

      At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
      Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
      But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,
      Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards, Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,
      There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.
      I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where. And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time.
      — T.S. Eliot, Burnt Norton

      “Of what is the body made? It is made of emptiness and rhythm. At the ultimate heart of the body, at the heart of the world, there is no solidity… there is only the dance.”
      — George Leonard, The Silent Pulse: A Search for the Perfect Rhythm that Exists in Each of Us

      Read enough and you begin to hear echoes in the work of one writer to the next. As with music, there are only so many notes to play with, and sometimes you hear the hint of one song whispering to you from another. So it is that Leonard’s quote reminded me of T.S. Eliot’s poem. Eliot and Leonard aren’t really writing about the same thing, and yet they each come back to the dance with phrasing that catches one’s attention. Whispers across time and place, where past and future are gathered, dancing in the wind.

      Our lives are stillness and motion, emptiness and rhythm, past and present with a dream of tomorrows. We write and observe and play with words and thoughts and ideas. Just as we live our lives as best we can given the circumstances, so we pull together everything we have in the moment and write what we can with what we have at our disposal. Sometimes we find magic, sometimes we simply live to fight another day. We’re changed either way.

      I write this, not from stillness, but in the midst of the dance. Like that hike through the wild mustard I wrote about yesterday, the path is uncertain and each step presents a new challenge. The only answer is to push on through, finding the path with each step. This is our dance.

      Do you see the path? It’s hiding right in front of us.

    • An Authentic Poet

      “And I tell you that you should open yourselves to hearing an authentic poet, of the kind whose bodily senses were shaped in a world that is not our own and that few people are able to perceive. A poet closer to death than to philosophy, closer to pain than to intelligence, closer to blood than to ink.”
      — Federico Garcia Lorca (translation by Steven F. White)

      Federico Garcia Lorca was a Spanish poet who was either assassinated or murdered at the beginning of the Spanish Civil War. The historian in me thinks about such things as wars and the silencing of voices forever through violence. The student in me seeks out the poetry that was so incendiary that someone was prompted to silence the poet. The philosopher in me sees that we are all on the road to find out, and it we would be prudent to use our own voice before it too is silenced by the infinite beyond.

      In my favorite Navy pilot’s last year on earth, he took me aside and told me that he liked my blog. He said he didn’t think I had it in me to quote philosophy and poetry, because these were things that I’d buried deep within while sorting out how to be a working adult in a world very much focused on churning forward. My only question to myself in that moment wasn’t about how to answer him, but rather, what took me so long?

      A couple of thousand blog posts later, I’m still sorting through things. I’ve realized that I’ll be doing that to my last day on earth, physically or mentally, whichever takes me first. I’ve become less a working adult and more a lifetime student, and the identity fits me just fine, thank you. Walking the pup last night, feeling the pollen burn my eyes, I wondered about the future, plotting moves and countermoves like a chess player, with me the pawn. For every action there’s a reaction, but a good mental map shortens the gap between stimulus and response.

      My favorite Navy pilot was an avid reader and likely wasn’t awed by my writing style. He was simply pleased with the progress he saw in my journey, noting a leap forward he hadn’t anticipated from me. That doesn’t translate into a lack of faith in my leaping ability, more an acknowledgement that I hadn’t shown much of an inclination to transcend the normal path. I still think about him when I write, wondering if he’d note the progress. We can promise more for ourselves, but we must learn to meet that promise through boldness and action. To do otherwise would be inauthentic. And that’s not who we’re striving to be, is it?

    • Before Dust

      If we begin to count our blessings we could cull up the very stones
      and bones in the pavement, but we’d never count the dust.
      We distrust what we become.
      — Ada Limón, High Water

      “Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust” — Book of Common Prayer

      We know the score. We’re all going to leave this world at some point, and return to the earth. But before we become dust we are alive. And so we must learn to live in our time.

      We ought to be grateful for who we are and what we have, for it is our core, our identity, our foundation for all that we may become. The fact that we are stardust turned into someone who may build a ship capable of taking us to the edge of the universe (or alternatively, to binge watch Netflix) is a miracle. Who are we to forsake miracles?

      To seek answers to the questions of these recurring, if only to find a spark of truth to light the way. We are the next in line to find folly in the human condition. We might simply use our time to seek connection and purpose with our fellow passengers on this voyage through to the unknown. We are blessed with this, after all. Before dust, make something beautiful.

    • No Straight Road

      Oh what a crush of People
      Invisible, reborn
      Make their way to into this garden
      For their eternal rest

      Every step we take on earth
      Brings us to a new world
      Every foot supported
      On a floating bridge

      I know there is no straight road
      No straight road in this world
      Only a giant labyrinth
      Of intersecting crossroads

      And steadily our feet
      Keep walking and creating
      Like enormous fans
      These roads in embryo

      Oh garden of white
      Oh garden of all I am not
      All I could
      And should have been

      I know there is no straight road
      No straight road in this world
      Only a giant labyrinth
      Of intersecting crossroads
      — Federico García Lorca, Floating Bridges

      Oh, the twisting, turning road that brought us to here! We believe it would have been easier to have the straight path from there to here, and here to wherever there might be, but that’s not the life we humans have signed up for. We’re here to meander and discover the truth within us, the plot forever thickening, until one day we surprise even ourselves. All we can do is work to make it a real page-turner.

      There are a few turns we ought to have made, it’s clear now. The road looked easier the other way. Easy, it turns out, wasn’t the road to take. Complexity may perplex and frustrate us, but we gain so much for having gone through it. Tell that to the person we once were, as if they’d listen! But that whisper applies to the road ahead, friend. Just what kind of life do we want to look back upon anyway?

      We ought to glance back, but focus ahead. Remembering that we are not just travelers, but builders. We build our life with every choice, one action taken or deferred at a time. So move forward on the path we believe to be right, trusting the choice but verifying we tread on solid ground with each step.

      Tempus fugit, friend. Look up and a third of the year has flown by. How are we filling the time? What kind of road are we on anyway? Knowing the truth that time reveals, be deliberate with these steps ahead, lest we lose the ripe potential of this time forever. There’s still so much yet to be revealed in this epic adventure we call our own. And the road never will be straight or clear. Doesn’t that make it a wonder?

    • Do Interesting

      “Do interesting things and interesting things will happen to you.” — John Hegarty

      The more times I circle the sun, the more I feel that interesting surpasses necessary. The timeline tightens, the world changes as we work to keep pace, and the examples of days spent doing necessary at the expense of interesting accumulate. What is necessary is methodical, logical, practical. What is interesting is radical, bold and audacious. Do interesting.

      For here there is no place
      that does not see you. You must change your life.
      — Rainer Maria Rilke, Archaic Torso of Apollo

      We cannot compare ourselves to others. Interesting isn’t what our favorite YouTube channel is doing this week, interesting is what we do that is a departure from our norm. Interesting is taking “not yet” out of our vocabulary in favor of “why not?” It doesn’t matter what the world does today, this is our life to live in the best way we can with the tools we have at our disposal.

      What are we doing today? Make bold choices, if only for now. Tomorrow we can defer to necessary, should we feel inclined. Today is for something more. Do interesting. There’s no time to waste.

    • No Small Thing

      What does one do with the post after 2500 posts? We begin again, naturally. For what are we to do with the next but demonstrate that we’ve grown a bit in these hours? To spoon away at infinity is no small thing. And perhaps stop carrying on about numbers and immerse in poetry once again. Here’s one by Pablo Neruda that left me awestruck and stays with me still:

      I am one of those who live
      in the middle of the sea and close to the twilight,
      A little beyond those stones.

      When I came
      and saw what was happening
      I decided on the spot.

      The day had spread itself
      And everything was light
      And the sea was beating
      Like a salty lion,
      Many-handed.

      All that deserted space was singing
      And I, lost and awed,
      Looking toward the silence,
      Opened my mouth and said:
      “Mother of the foam,
      Expansive solitude,
      Here I will begin my own rejoicing,
      My particular poetry.”

      From then on I was never
      Let down by a single wave.
      I always found the flavor of the sky
      In the water, in the earth,
      And the wood and the sea burned together
      Through the lonely winters.

      I am grateful to the earth
      for having waited
      for me
      when the sky and sea came together
      like two lips touching;
      for that’s no small thing, no?—
      to have lived
      through one solitude to arrive at another,
      to feel oneself many things and recover wholeness.

      I love all the things there are,
      And of all fires
      Love is the only inexhaustible one;
      And that’s why I go from life to life,
      From guitar to guitar,
      And I have no fear
      Of light or of shade.

      And almost being earth myself,
      I spoon away at infinity.

      So no one can ever fail
      To find my doorless numberless house—
      There between dark stones,
      facing the flash
      of the violent salt,
      there we live, my woman and I,
      there we take root.
      Grant us help then.
      Help us to be more of the earth each day!
      Help us to be
      More the sacred foam,
      More the swish of the wave!
      — Pablo Neruda, This is where we live

      I realize I haven’t posted any of Pablo Neruda’s poetry on this blog before this one. It’s an oversight on my part, partly because of an inclination to post the entire poem, partly because I don’t speak Spanish and rely heavily on the translation. But what a translation! And with that in mind, I hope to explore more of his work in future posts. Semper discens, semper crescens (always learning, always growing).

    • Feed that Flame

      “I think of mythology as the homeland of the muses, the inspirers of art, the inspirers of poetry. To see life as a poem and yourself participating in a poem is what the myth does for you.”
      — Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

      Tell me we aren’t collectively living in an epic poem at the moment. These are tragic days. These are comic days. These are the days that test our character and faith in humanity. And we are not just the actors—we are the heroes on this journey of a lifetime. And so we must play our part. And so it is that some people rise up on the suffering of others, and some people rise up to defend all that is good in this world.

      The power of mythology is that it stirs something within us. When we listen, we connect with the timeless truth it conveys, and having made that connection, hear the call to contribute. Writing and poetry, painting and sculpture, photography and cinematography, theater and dance, music and performance—all are expressions of myth and a perpetuation of something greater than ourselves. Something the trolls fail to connect with and thus seek to destroy. Collectively we bring the beautiful to light.

      Myth works from the inside out as a spark of recognition as something ancient and profound within us that must grow and find expression. We all want to think of ourselves as heroes. The miracle is that this truly heroic character is hiding within us, waiting for oxygen and fuel. We must feed that flame and see where this epic journey takes us.

    • The Call to Creative

      “Et ignotas anuimum dimittit in artes” (“And he applies his mind to the obscure arts.”) — Ovid, Metamorphoses, VIII., 18.

      The great conversation brought me to this phrase. Joseph Campbell quoted James Joyce’s use of it as the epigraph of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and now I bring it to you, dear reader. Always find the primary source, the historian in me demands, even if that makes for an odd first paragraph. But here we are.

      But wait, there’s more. Ovid added, “naturamque nouat” (“and alters nature.)” in Metamorphoses, pointing to the transformative potential of creative work. It wasn’t that Joyce wasn’t showing the way, it was more an expectation that the reader would complete the assignment. In a world where so many are a bit lazy in following through to the end, isn’t it a jolt to find artists who expect us to keep up?

      Ah, but what are we doing here? Just what kind of blog post is this? Are we diving head first into latin? Are we indicting the general state of things today where so many don’t go deeper than the surface? Or are we doing what Campbell and Joyce did, and using Ovid to point to a life of creative work? Let’s call it an open-ended question as we walk the path of discovery together. And isn’t that what creative work is?

      Apply your mind to the obscure arts and alter nature. Be bold in this choice and find transformation, or bow to the demands of those who would have us follow the rules laid out for us. What shall it be, for you and me? Be bold, friend, and see just where it takes us. For we only have this short time together to make our dent in the universe.