Alexandersmap

    Category: Writing

    • How Words Mean Things

      Imagine you’re on Mars, looking at earth,
      a swirl of colors in the distance.
      Tell us what you miss most, or least.

      Let your feelings rise to the surface.
      Skim that surface with a tiny net.
      Now you’re getting the hang of it.

      Tell us your story slantwise,
      streetwise, in the disguise
      of an astronaut in his suit.

      Tell us something we didn’t know
      before: how words mean things
      we didn’t know we knew.
      — Wyn Cooper, Mars Poetica

      Life feels a little chaotic lately, at least in my world. How about yours? We move through life at variable speed. Lately the accelerator feels stuck.

      Simplify.

      Words having meaning based on weight and measure. A poet knows this and measures out words just so, knowing that the weight of one or two will topple the whole thing. Chaos ensues, if we let it. Do we live a neat and tidy life? I should think not. So why should the words that outlive us portray otherwise?

      What will you miss most about today when it’s gone? This is life, boiled down to the essence of now. Does it sparkle and shine? Does it provoke and rhyme? What will it mean when it’s put to bed? What will it mean when we’re dead?

      Jot it down and leave this thought for tomorrow. It’s not ours any longer when we click publish. It belongs somewhere beyond today. And maybe we do too. What does it all mean? Perhaps we’ll find out when we arrive there. But that feels like living on another planet today.

    • Improving the View

      Do not stay in the field!
      Nor climb out of sight.
      The best view of the world
      Is from a medium height
      — Friedrich Nietzsche, “Worldly Wisdom“, The Gay Science: With a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs

      I find myself returning to Nietzsche’s Prelude in Rhymes again, because it was so remarkable of an encounter initially. What a delight to discover his poetic tendencies hidden in plain sight. Surely he would be on my list of people I’d try to meet with a time machine, were such an invention possible. But isn’t that what reading is? A time machine that brings us directly to the mind of the writer, wherever and whenever they put thought to paper. Isn’t that what a blog is, sans paper? A time machine to the future, well beyond this character we are as we click publish.

      We write about the things we experience, with the level of knowledge and understanding we’ve reached to this point in our development. I’d like to believe that I’ve climbed beyond the field to medium height, with a nod upwards towards the climb ahead. The view is fine right here, but incomplete—as incomplete as we are in this moment. The thing to do is learn and grow and climb some more just to see where it takes us. Readers of this blog know that the goal is arete, or personal excellence. That lies far beyond this climber’s lifetime.

      The thing to do is to improve the view. One blessed day at a time, with all its thoughts and ideas either captured or evading me. We must be ready for each lesson in a lifetime in order to understand where we are and what we’ve reached. We are forever growing into the type of person who might understand the place we’ve arrived at, but for an open mind and a bit of a reach. So how’s the view? Ready for the next step? For time flies and we have so far to go.

    • Things That Got Away

      “Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past.” — James Joyce, Ulysses

      Back in 2018, when this blog was a young pup and its writer was blessedly naive about all that would happen in the next seven years, we stepped into the every day. We can all agree that a lot can happen in seven years. Good Lord, can a lot happen. We’ve all been on this ride together, in so many ways. Yet each of us rides through life in their own way. Some with eyes wide open, some with blinders on, and so many simply staring at a screen for an entirely different user experience. The only thing we all may agree on is that time flies. Tempus fugit.

      I happened upon a blog post I’d written back then about the ten books I meant to read that year. I read eight of those books, and one of them, Meditations, I’ve read three times since. But one in particular still eludes me. Ulysses. I’ve begun it many times over the years, and many times I’ve moved on to other books. Perhaps I’ll tackle the yellowing pages of this classic next, or perhaps it will forever be the one that got away. Time will tell, as it always does.

      If I’ve learned anything in these last seven years, let alone all that preceded them, I’ve learned to talk less about what I’m going to do and more about what I’ve done. We are either dreamers or doers in this world. Less talk and more action, thank you. If that inspires a laugh when I refer to reading a book, well, I shrug in your general direction. I may believe myself to be well-read, while noting how incomplete it feels when some notables evade me for years. When I think about all the YouTube videos or tweets I’ve read in the last seven years, not having read a classic novel feels wasteful of the opportunity.

      We all must choose what we say yes to in this brief go at living. Where do we want to go? Who do we want to be? Just what is that verse we’re writing going to say anyway? We all have agency over what we do in the now. As the future plunges into the past, how will we take stock of the time spent? Some part of us will feel incomplete for having used that time elsewhere. What matters most now? Choose accordingly. We may celebrate all that we’ve done while acknowledging the things that got away from us.

    • Blame It On the Poets

      Man with wooden leg escapes prison. He’s caught.
      They take his wooden leg away from him. Each day
      he must cross a large hill and swim a wide river
      to get to the field where he must work all day on
      one leg. This goes on for a year. At the Christmas
      Party they give him back his leg. Now he doesn’t
      want it. His escape is all planned. It requires
      only one leg.
      — James Tate, Man with Wooden Leg Escapes Prison

      I hope you laughed when you read that poem. I know I did. It reads like a standup routine, like many James Tate poems, I suppose. Maybe that’s why I’ve strayed into his work a little, just because a smile is better than a frown, and certainly better than a scowl. We all scowl too much nowadays.

      I was reading the news just this morning. I make a point of not reading the news before I write (because of that scowl thing), but I found myself awake thinking about to-do list items. Instead of getting up to do these things, instead of rolling over and reaching for some REM, instead of doing a workout or brushing my teeth or attempting to steal the covers back from my bride—instead of anything really, I opened up the BBC app to see what was happening in the world. And of course I scowled.

      When one starts one’s day in such a way, one ought to quickly find a way out of it. Social media is nothing but random clickbait video clips now. I surely could have gone there for hours of screen time. But I sought out the council of a poet to set me straight. And that road less travelled has made all the difference.

      This ritual of writing before any other thing continues to serve me well. The world can go to hell in a mindless spiral of dancing stars, home renovation transformations and fantasy football trades, but I may ignore it all and simply write what comes to me. This clunky, impossible to navigate blog, my running collection of deep thoughts and discoveries, goes on for at least one more day. Blame it on the poets if you like. More likely it was me all along.

    • Begin Something

      “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” ― Willie Nelson

      As an early bird, it should be easy to get a head start on the day. But the day floods in anyway. Even as I awaken, work to-do minutia floods my brain—a clear sign that I didn’t write it all down to release its hold on me before my day was done. The bullet journal method only works if you keep up with it. Lately, I haven’t kept up with it.

      If we are truly on a quest for personal excellence, why do we clutter up our days with minutia at all? Mastery requires singular focus, if we indeed wish to reach closer to it. Just who do we want to be on this one go at things anyway? The work that matters ought to get done, the rest ought to slip away and not impact our sleep score.

      I used to glory in the hustle of outworking the competition. I have other priorities now. When I wake up, my attention doesn’t go right to work, it goes right to attending to the needs of the pets, and then to writing this blog. Does writing deserve a place of honor ahead of income-generating activity? Doesn’t the answer depend on where we want to go today? The answer has always been there, waiting for us to listen and act upon it.

      Why get up early at all, but to heed the call to begin something? To rise and chase the dreams of others for profit is nothing but a trap from which we will never escape. We must always prioritize ourselves first, and then address the needs of others. They tell us this on every flight. It’s on us to pay attention to the flight attendants as we hustle through life.

      To make something of this day seems a modest objective. Why go through the motions or succumb to distraction? Create something of consequence today and see what might build from it. Joie de vivre is derived from doing something meaningful with our days, not from hustling through it. So what is that something?

    • Out of the Wordless

      This is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
      Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
      Thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou
      lovest best.
      Night, sleep, death and the stars.
      — Walt Whitman, A Clear Midnight

      Sleep comes easily on one end of the day, but retreats just as quickly on the other side. Call it the curse of the early bird in a nest full of night owls. As with any bird’s nest, a cat will create unrest. Nocturnal hunter, angry by nature—don’t you dare try to sleep any longer! And so sleep score be damned, I rise when it’s time to get up. The cat seems smugly satisfied, but her indignation is stirred when I don’t reward her wakeup call by immediately filling her bowl. That would result in an even earlier wakeup call tomorrow.

      Every morning, dark and cold though it may be, I step outside and look up at the sky to see what I’ve been missing. Maybe I’m tracking infinity through ritual, or maybe I’m simply checking in on the universe to let it know I’ve made it to another day, but the ritual feels natural, even if the night owls in my life believe it’s unnatural to rise before the sun. In my rush to slow down and take it all in, I wonder what I missed. At the moment, I’m missing sleep. Maybe tonight then?

      The cat isn’t the only restless soul stirring before 5 AM. Waking up restless is a sign that we dozed off with unfinished business on the mind. Just what quiet desperation is haunting me? I feel the urge to write until I find the words. Yes, there’s just so much to do and be and say. If only the words will come on this cold November morning.

    • For Your Consideration

      If I could write words
      Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
      What a bonfire my letters would make.

      If I could speak words of water,
      You would drown when I said
      “I love you.”
      — Spike Milligan, If I Could Write Words

      When I look at the number of words written and published in this blog this year, it equals the length of a long novel. Looking back over the last six years since I turned blogging from an every now and then thing to an every day thing, it translates into roughly eight novels of average length worth of words. And there are another couple of novels-worth of blog posts sitting in draft form. That, friends, is a lot of words given to the vacuum of the Internet. And here is one more for your consideration.

      All this talk of words has me wondering where they’ll lead to next. Words pull the writer along just as much as the reader—perhaps more so. Pile the words just so and you have a blog post or a poem or a novel. Which is worthy of our weight in words? We know it when we feel it. The act of creating things is a ritual of discovery.

      Just because we write a lot of words doesn’t mean that we have a lot to say. Our voice (if we’re lucky enough to be born in a free society) is our birthright, our audience is earned. We ought to experience a few things in this lifetime to pick up the pieces, glued together with our perspective, and presented to the reader to wander about with and occasionally knock down our walls. Burn it all down if you like—the words that were once mine are now those of someone I used to know.

      These words have turned into a blog post. If you’ve followed along this far, thank you. If the words and I should meet again tomorrow, I hope we will have our time together yet again. Until then?

    • Go Be Yourself

      “The amateur dreads becoming who she really is because she fears that this new person will be judged by others as “different.” The tribe will declare us “weird” or “queer” or “crazy.” The tribe will reject us. Here’s the truth: the tribe doesn’t give a shit. There is no tribe. That gang or posse that we imagine is sustaining us by the bonds we share is in fact a conglomeration of individuals who are just as fucked up as we are and just as terrified. Each individual is so caught up in his own bullshit that he doesn’t have two seconds to worry about yours or mine, or to reject or diminish us because of it. When we truly understand that the tribe doesn’t give a damn, we’re free. There is no tribe, and there never was. Our lives are entirely up to us.” — Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro

      The moment we realize that everyone is trying to figure out their own shit and not spending their one precious life wrapped up in our shit is when we finally break free and begin to live. So many go to their graves never reaching that glorious dawn. It was never about us to anyone but us. The same goes for them. It’s not selfish to focus on ourselves first, it’s survival. Put your own oxygen mask on first, then worry about the kids.

      This awareness doesn’t turn us into jaded, lost and supremely selfish souls—it’s a superpower. When we learn to help enough people get what they want and need, we earn what we want and need too. Learn to scale this and we’re on our way to exponential growth.

      So stop waiting for permission already! Go do that thing that burns within but is slowly suffocating for lack of space to breathe and grow. That’s why I write every single day, usually before my first cup of coffee is finished. It’s not because I believe that you, dear reader, are desperate to hear what I have to say, but simply to stoke the fire. When it warms a soul or two beyond my own, then I’ve added something positive to a cold and indifferent world. Want to draw attention? Go be yourself.

    • Old Riddles and New Creeds

      After one moment when I bowed my head
      And the whole world turned over and came upright,
      And I came out where the old road shone white.
      I walked the ways and heard what all men said,
      Forests of tongues, like autumn leaves unshed,
      Being not unlovable but strange and light;
      Old riddles and new creeds, not in despite
      But softly, as men smile about the dead

      The sages have a hundred maps to give
      That trace their crawling cosmos like a tree,
      They rattle reason out through many a sieve
      That stores the sand and lets the gold go free:
      And all these things are less than dust to me
      Because my name is Lazarus and I live.
      — G.K. Chesterton, The Convert

      Chesterton famously converted to Christianity when he was 48. The fame came with his zealous endorsement of the Catholic faith in his writing. The poem above is one example of that, indicating his joy at being born again. He passed away at 62, which seems really young now, but a full life in 1934 when his whole world turned over and came upright.

      Now I’m not especially religious, but I fancy myself a spiritual being on a quest for experience, knowledge and enlightenment. This blog is a ship’s log of sorts, showing where my journey has taken me thus far. I’d like to think I’ve come a long way. I’d like to think there are many pages left to write. ’tis not for us to know such things, only to do what we can with today’s entry.

      I’ve come to value the sands of time more than gold, and the wisdom of voices who have crossed the threshold. The young seek shortcuts to influence and wealth, the old seek solace in a life of connection and comfort. I’m somewhere in between, learning what I will, sharing what I feel s’éclairer. This is our age of discovery, friend, for we are here, now and alive. Picking up what we can in our time even as it falls away.

    • The Stuff We Write

      Boldly I dip it in the well,
      My writing flows, and all
      I try succeeds. Of course, the spatter
      Of this tormented night
      Is quite illegible. No matter:
      Who reads the stuff I write?
      — Friedrich Nietzche, “Ecce homo”, The Gay Science

      For all the perceived sternness of Nietzche, there’s a funny, charming character hiding within. It was said that he was an introvert and lonely. When compared to whom? The world is full of introverts. That many of them are creative, deep thinkers is no surprise. The trick is to find an audience worthy of the work. Right. Try to tell an introvert that they must reach beyond themselves to find an audience and watch how quickly they backpedal away from you. Yet Nietzche did it. What of us?

      We’re all introverts in some way or another. We all may be extroverted when we let our guard down and step into the role. It’s something you get used to over time. Introverts are great in conversation because they listen to what is being said to them instead of simply waiting for us to shut up so that they can speak again. There’s nothing more grating than a conversation with someone who won’t simply listen and absorb what we’re trying to say before responding. Two ears, one mouth is the rule: we must listen more than speak.

      Now clearly, I have a lot to say myself. I mean, I write this blog every day, often repeating myself in my zeal to live a worthy life. But writing doesn’t happen in a vacuum, we must digest to produce. Ah, produce what? Garbage in, garbage out? To simply put content out for clicks may raise our number of views, but is it moving us closer to who we aspire to become? Is it helping others find a path towards their own personal excellence? Just why are we burning our precious time creating content anyway?

      “Be so good they can’t ignore you” — Steve Martin

      Knowing why we do anything offers clarity of purpose. The stuff we write may not solve the world’s problems, but it offers a hint at who we were in the moment, for anyone that cares to find out. That includes the writer, of course. Who were we today? How does this step connect to all that will follow? Does it lead to an ascent or a spiral? Time will tell. It matters, if only to us, but maybe also to a reader this one time. Still here, figuring it all out, together. If what we produce is good enough, it will resonate. Steve Martin is another introvert who broke through.

      The root of the world’s problems is that we’re not inclined to listen and understand each other as much as we ought to. When we’re all screaming at and over each other we aren’t listening or finding creative answers to those compounding problems. The world needs more creative introverts stepping out from the shadows and finding ways to connect us all together. What binds us? Step outside of that shell and share some of that. The only place to grow is outside of who we already are.