Alexandersmap

    Tag: Arete

    • True Before You

      I want to unfold.
      Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
      for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
      I want my conscience to be
      true before you;
      want to describe myself like a picture I observed
      for a long time, one close up,
      like a new word I learned and embraced,
      like the everday jug,
      like my mother’s face,
      like a ship that carried me along
      through the deadliest storm.
      — Rainer Maria Rilke, I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone

      One need not be religious to reach for the divine. We may aspire for a level of consciousness and growth that prods us along on our journey through life, reaching ever-higher towards something more than this. Arete, or personal excellence, is a human aspiration for the divine, for which we know we’ll fall short. But reaching for it is the thing.

      We have this one shot at things. We’re told that if we do it right once is enough. It’s the doing it right part that’s the trick. What’s right for you may not be right for me. Life is a deadly storm with no survivors. To know this and still set the sails for a journey of a lifetime is audacious and liberating. Decide what to be and go be it.

      Truth is discovered through awareness and a ritual of keeping the blinders off. It’s cleaning the hazy film off the mirror and having a closer look. Truth is something that unfolds before us. We write it down, think it through, move towards something more visceral. Repeat. That’s where this writer has lingered lately (as if you had to be told). With every blank screen, with every word pondered and debated (Is this too much truth?) Just where are we taking this? How close to the truth do we dare to go anyway?

      If that sounds too serious and self-absorbed, well, believe me, I think so too. Blogging is simply the laying of breadcrumbs along this path of discovery. We’re on our way to find out. Have a laugh at the imperfections even as we strive for some measure of improvement. We’re all doing the best we can given the spoiler of how it all ends. That, friends, is the truth.

    • That Ain’t Us

      Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
      There’s still time to change the road you’re on
      — Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven

      We forget sometimes that change is dynamic. We make choices, live with the consequences and if we are lucky, get to react to the changes they bring to pivot when appropriate. Or simply double down on the road we’re on now.

      Decide what to be and go be it. If we don’t like being that character, change into someone entirely new. We get to re-write the script again and again in a lifetime, unless we really screw up. Choices, like changes, are incremental. We rarely reach a path of no return. We simply find that returning to who we once were isn’t all that appealing anymore.

      Having reached a place I recently aspired to be at, I have decisions to make once again: Go by the same path I’m currently on or try something new. New is often our best bet. We may take the best of what’s working and build a new path with that skillset and curated stack of good habits. This is how we all learn and grow and evolve towards our potential, by forging a new path with the best we’ve picked up along the way. And those things that don’t fit this new version of us can stay on the path behind us, because that ain’t us anymore.

    • Do Hard Things

      “All great and precious things are lonely.” — John Steinbeck

      Do hard things. This must be our mindset if we are to move forward on our journey to personal excellence (Arete). Opting for easy is a path to average. We’ve all been on that path enough already and know where it leads. It may be comfortable for a long time, but it doesn’t satiate a restless soul. We must learn and grow and become what we decided to be in the time we have while managing the circumstances we’re allotted. There is always a reason not to be bold.

      What is great and precious? We know it when we imagine it for ourselves. Finishing a marathon or writing a novel may be great and precious, but each comes with a heavy price in time and effort (writing anything using an AI hack is not great nor precious, it’s inherently average). We must learn to do the work, and learn to be lonely in the work. It’s the price of greatness that must be paid out every day.

      This summer I’ve had many excuses to just stay the course on my previous fitness lifestyle. Walk a bit, row occasionally, ease off of the carbohydrates and drink in moderation. Those lifestyle choices brought me to where I was back in June when I pivoted into a mental toughness program to blow up the old routine and begin anew. Today is the last day of that program, but not really. Once we strengthen our resolve to do hard things, we begin to look for more hard things to do beyond where we’ve arrived.

      What is lonely about pursing personal excellence? It’s the jabs from friends and family when we say no to what we once said yes to. It’s setting off on a workout or stepping away to write or read or otherwise do the work that must be done instead of having a beer and talking about the state of the world. Early on, when our new habits are young and fragile, it takes an “F you” attitude to overcome the doubts and casual pressure to just make an exception this one time. Mental toughness is developed in the trenches of mind games within our trusted and well-meaning circle of influence.

      The thing is, 75 hard was never a fitness program, even as it leads to greater physical fitness. It’s about eliminating the excuse cycle from our mindset and developing a bias towards action in all audacious and meaningful things. 75 days later, I’m neither great nor precious, but I’m closer to arete than I was before I started. Lifestyle choices don’t really end, they simply evolve in time. We begin to ask ourselves, if we can finish this, just what can we do next? Decide what to be next and go be it.

    • The Beauty of Enough in the Pursuit of Excellence

      “Never let the quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.” ― Sahil Bloom

      “If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.” — Colin Powell

      How much is enough? For many, there’s never enough. But what about us? How much money do we need? How much time do we trade in exchange? What would we use that time for if not this relentless pursuit of more? These are questions worthy of consideration if we are to live a life of optimization—if we are to reach a place closer to arete, or personal excellence.

      So what is that place? Personal excellence is different for all of us. For me if means reaching a higher level of being. Writing this blog every day is one step on that journey. Reading every day is likewise essential. And so is the admittedly aggressive fitness plan I’ve been on that has resulted in my losing 11% of my previous body weight. The arrival of a leaner version of me isn’t the point, it’s the daily ritual reckoning of choosing to be what I decided to be that brings me closer to my version of arete. We know we’ll never arrive there, but the journey to it is the whole point.

      Personal excellence is not a relentless pursuit of more, it’s a consistent refinement of who we are. It’s not about accumulation of wealth or the fancy car or the private jet. It’s about learning to live a life of significance and purpose. That prevailing attitude of refinement and self-improvement towards someone better in all areas of our lives is what bridges the gap between who we are and who we might become.

      Is there a conflict between the beauty of enough and the pursuit of excellence? Our journey should always be towards the person we wish to become (decide what to be and go be it), and our identity is reinforced by incremental, daily effort in that direction. Making the bed in the morning, or washing the dishes, or doing the workout, or writing the blog post before stepping into a busy life—these are the realization of enough through active presence in our daily rituals on this journey of a lifetime. And that, friends, is beautiful.

    • Overcoming Currents

      “Our bodies do not take care of themselves in this environment—they need maintenance. If those of us in sedentary or repetitive jobs want to maintain our physical fitness, we have to make a conscious effort to move. We have to set time aside to walk, garden, do yoga, run, or go to the gym. We have to overcome the currents of modern life.”
      ― Robert Waldinger, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

      The easiest thing to do in a current is to just go with it. But currents don’t always take us where we want to go. A rip current will send you to your doom if you don’t swim perpendicular to it to get out of its grip. Doing what feels good in the moment, or doing what our friends are doing in their moment, can be enticing in its immediacy, but we ought to ask ourselves where it’s taking us. What’s the harm of a few french fries or a beer with friends? The answer lies in the direction of that current. Is it going where we want to go?

      I know: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But the point is, we must be aware of those damned currents. Currents will pull us away from the vision we have of ourselves or that person we wish to become. Sometimes currents do their work quickly, sometimes so slowly that we aren’t even aware of the changes until we notice the pants are getting a little snug or maybe we struggle going up the stairs. Choosing a different current from the one we’ve been floating on takes some effort and mental toughness at first, but once we’ve entered flow, it all becomes so much easier.

      “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” — Aristotle

      We always come back to Aristotle, don’t we? On our journey to personal excellence (arete), we must be forever vigilant in knowing what the currents are around us. Just where do we want to go anyway? Build some momentum that counters the current that would pull us away from that. Like pushing the flywheel, soon we build momentum towards something better.

      If this blog feels like affirmation lately, my apologies. It’s just the writer swimming towards something far more compelling. One good habit leads to another, then another, and pretty soon we’re really getting somewhere. There will be more stories to build on this timeline, but those will require a level of participation only possible with a high level of mental and physical fitness. If we agree that we are what we repeatedly do, isn’t it fair to ask ourselves, what exactly are we currently doing?

    • Giving Attention

      “Time and attention are not something we can replenish. They are what our life is. When we offer our time and attention, we are not merely spending and paying. We are giving our lives.”
      — Robert Waldinger, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

      Many get it wrong when they think about making changes in their lives, believing they’re giving up something instead of the other side of that coin: choosing something better. Transformation begins with what we focus our attention on. Just imagine what we could do if we simply paid attention to the right things for a year, or a decade, or a lifetime? But that’s too broad a spectrum. Focus on today instead. Today will always be the day that requires our full attention.

      So what do we pay attention to? Inevitably, that’s where our time goes. Time in itself is a measure, but we can spend time without giving our full attention. Consider a casual restaurant on a busy night. How many scroll their phones while sitting at the dinner table? Are they giving attention to those they are dining with, or is it merely spending time together? When we pay attention to those we love, we are giving more than just our time, we are putting the rest of the universe on hold for the person in front of us. Isn’t that the ultimate gift?

      What gift are we giving ourselves today? What are we consuming that will make us better? Not just food, but information, and feedback from the network of people that surround us. What are we telling ourselves in these moments, or are we distracting ourselves to drown out that inner voice? Maybe we ought to pay more attention to that voice. Surely it has something it wants to tell us.

      Attention is a muscle that we may develop. It brings us to awareness, which is essential to our growth and development. This idea of personal excellence (arete) that I write about frequently in this blog is not some clever affirmation, it’s a daily ritual of discovery and reach. Decide what to be and go be it. What are we waiting for? More time? Our time is right now, waiting for us to finally pay attention and get to it already.

    • The Path

      “You can figure this thing out. And your path is going to be different from my path… but there’s certain principles that you can apply to whatever your individual path [is]. And you can learn about the value of discipline and of personal autonomy and personal accountability and figure out how to get better. You’re going to have failures and they’re going to feel awful, they’re going to feel terrible, but they’re very valuable. And you can’t shy away from them because that’s where you learn how to get better. And then your feelings of success, don’t dwell on those either because it’s not about that. It’s really about this path. The path is what it’s all about. It’s really about learning how to live, and learning how to exist in a harmonious way with not just other people but also with yourself. And you have to have respect for yourself, and the only way you develop respect for yourself is you have to know what you’ve done. You have to know that you’ve worked really hard. That you’ve overcome things. And known that you’ve had these little mental battles, these bad ways of thinking, that you’ve turned around. And you realize that that’s possible. I did it before I’ll do it again.” — Joe Rogan, Episode 23352 – James Talarico

      I don’t listen to a lot of Joe Rogan podcasts, because I’ve unfairly thought of him as another bro perpetuating conspiracy theories. But he runs far deeper than that, beginning with a strong desire to listen and understand those that he has conversations with. This episode with James Talarico is a great example of that. But what really caught my attention was Rogan’s description of the path he’s been on, from martial arts to wealthy and influential podcaster. The path is the thing—the path has always been the thing. We just get so distracted by the noise of life that many of us neglect staying the course.

      The thing is, we’re all on a path of our making. That path may lead to the promised land or to our destruction, but it’s our path because we are the ones who are on it. Don’t like the path? Step off of it and take your first steps on another path. See where it leads and decide whether to stay on that one. Paths are simple (if not always easy)—it’s our busy and distracted mind that trips us up. Discipline, focus and an earnest desire to see the path through are what keep us on the path. That’s a life leading towards arete: personal excellence. May we all get closer to our version of it this day.

      I’m on my current path just a little while longer. For 52 days I’ve been focused on better health and fitness, learning and practicing a higher level of discipline and mental toughness. I’ve learned a lot in these 52 days, but mostly I’ve learned to simply stay on the path and do what I promised myself I’d do. Next month I may stay on this path or climb up to something even more challenging, but I know that this path is leading me to that one. Sticking to a path always leads us somewhere. Why not make it somewhere better than where we’ve been?

    • Beauty, Grace and Connection

      “Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.” — Zahid Abas

      Worry is a distraction conjured by the mind. We have plenty we can worry about in this world, but what do we gain by doing so? We gain ground when we focus on the direction we wish to go in, not by looking sideways or behind us. How many Olympic sprinters win looking sideways for the entire race?

      In general, we become what we focus on. This blog tends towards the positive and the productive for a reason. I will continue to hold the line on character while seeking to raise the bar towards personal excellence (arete). To squander this gift of life on petty grievances is as wasteful as staying inside on a beautiful day. We must always venture outside of ourselves if we hope to find beauty, and we ought to be inclined to share what we encounter along the way.

      I won’t tell you that life is all roses and sunshine. There are challenges and setbacks, painful loss and pervasive madness and cruelty in the world working to grind us down. We may be aware of all of this and still focus on beauty, grace and connection. The richness of a wonderful life is sown through awareness of everything, while still favoring the light.

    • So Is Life

      “As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.” ― Seneca

      The neighbors must think I’m crazy at this point. Walking all the time, sometimes with the pup, but sometimes without. Rain or shine, extreme heat or biting cold. I don’t care if they think I’m crazy. They’ve known me long enough to have formed opinions I can’t possibly sway one way or the other. What matters is the walk, what matters is doing what I said I’d do.

      I tried writing later in the day. I keep returning to the morning, so long as I’m not rushing off to catch a flight or some such thing. When something works extremely well for you, why change it? Surely we must test our theories, beliefs and assumptions, but having done so, we can safely stick with the things that move us in the direction we wish to go in. The writing habit is fully embedded in my identity now. The question now is where to take it next?

      As is a tale, so is life… What kind of creative storytelling are we doing with our lives? We forget sometimes that we are the authors of our days while we’re so busy reacting to the world and our place in it. We must remember our agency. We must remember our lives are an expression of growth and creativity born out of time well spent.

      Seneca also said that life, if well lived, is long enough. But what is well lived? That’s different for each of us, but I think it begins with growing closer to the personal excellence we aspire to. A bit of exercise, a bit of creative work, time with friends and family, and the pursuit of a larger life than the one we started today with seems the path to health, wealth and happiness. Those three pillars may or may not be in the cards for us, but they’re more likely to be a part of our lives if we apply ourselves to constant and never-ending improvement.

      When is enough enough? When do we stop working to grow and begin to simply enjoy what we’ve got? The question itself is a test of philosophy. Would we stop reading books because we finished a great novel? Would we stop writing because we reached some milestone, be it number of blog posts or publishing that book that’s been forever haunting us? The question is flawed, for it infers that we may be more content settling into satisfaction and rest. But isn’t stasis decline when viewed against the progression of life?

      How good a life we have is measured by more than how happy we are, it’s measured by how big a ripple we might leave one day. It’s measured by the love reflected back at us by people we care to move through this one precious life with. It’s measured by how long our health span is, and what we do with that healthy time. We will all be dust one day, but not just yet—so what matters greatly to us this day? We must be earnest in our pursuit of it, for there lies our evasive personal excellence. Look at how far we’ve come. Is this not good? Our tale grows more compelling by the day.

    • Wrestling Back a Life

      And, I know a woman
      Became a wife
      These are the very words she uses to describe her life
      She said, “A good day
      Ain’t got no rain”
      She said, “A bad day’s when I lie in bed
      And think of things that might have been
      — Paul Simon, Slip Slidin’ Away

      When we get busy with life—the kind of busy that compresses each day into small wins amongst the incremental progress, we feel the time slipping away. Time moves the same, we just fill it differently. Put a lot into it and it flies along quite rapidly. Leave it empty and purposeless and it seems to drag on forever. There’s some balance to be found there somewhere.

      Lately, my own days are filled to the brim. I wanted this for myself, I repeatedly say each day when I put my feet on the floor and stand for another go at life. Fill the day; keep regret at bay. We must wrestle back a life of purpose from the chaos of the world that would steal our time and distract us from the beautiful work yet to be done.

      We owe it to ourselves to live a life of awareness, and with that clarity reach for a higher standard for ourselves in the things that mean the most for us. Arete, or personal excellence, will be forever just out of reach, and yet we may get closer with each day filled with purposeful action. The time will slip and slide away in any case, but we may mitigate the might have beens.