Alexandersmap

    Tag: Epictetus

    • Like Glowing Coals

      “You cannot quench understanding unless you put out the insights that compose it. But you can rekindle those at will, like glowing coals. I can control my thoughts as necessary, then how can I be troubled? What is outside my mind means nothing to it. Absorb that lesson and your feet stand firm.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

      This week I found myself in a string of conversations about books. It began with a copy of The Devil in the White City sitting on the desk of a customer. Having read it and many other books by Erik Larson, we got into an enthusiastic conversation about what we were reading in historical non-fiction. When he and I finished our conversation, someone else jumped in, listing the fiction he reads, mostly Harlan Coben books. I’ve read a few, my bride has read them all, we compared recommendations and then it was on to the next conversation. The third one was most interesting of all.

      A co-worker whom I’d just met, technical and quiet, was tapping away on a keyboard programming a proof of concept sequence (the entire reason we were all there to begin with) and said he’d overhead the two other conversations about reading that had just taken place. He reads philosophy, had just finished Friedrich Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil and was beginning The Discourses by Epictetus. I opened my Kindle app and showed him Nietzshe’s The Gay Science, which I’ve been reading in between physical books (’tis far better to read a book standing in line at the supermarket than to doom scroll social media). And we ran through a list of recommendations as any fellow students of philosophy would do.

      If all of this sounds particularly geeky, well, so be it. Reading isn’t for everyone, though it ought to be. If you’re reading this blog post and have reached this point, you’re clearly an avid reader yourself and understand. We are all self-taught beyond a K-12 education and the opportunities a university might offer. I say might because plenty go through the motions there too. We know the game and we choose how to play it. A lifetime education begins outside the structure of a classroom—it begins within the mind.

      Each book read, each conversation with a fellow reader that points us towards some new insight, is a step along the path to personal excellence (arete). What we consume stokes our inner fire and shines brightly in the eyes of an avid student of living. And living is the whole point, even as so many continue to go through the motions. But that’s not us! So what are you reading right now? I hope it’s compelling and insightful. If it is I’d love to hear about it. We are all climbing to greater heights, one great book at a time.

    • What Is Mine

      “We have to make the best use of the things which are actually in our power, and use everything else according to their nature.”
      — Epictetus, Discourses

      It’s easy to get caught up in things. I wrestle with it myself at times, mostly out of a sense of fairness. We were raised to know what is right and what is wrong, and when we see things that are wrong we expect to see things made right. This is folly. The world is unfair, it always has been, and the only way to navigate this world without being forever caught in despair is to let go of that which we cannot control. That doesn’t mean to give up, and it doesn’t mean to let the worst of humanity rule the roost either. It means to focus on what we have agency over and nothing more.

      “What is mine is mine, and what is not is not.”

      Epictetus was born into slavery, studied under Musonius Rufus and became famous as a philosopher after he was emancipated. So it’s easy to see how he latched onto this idea of focusing on what is within one’s power. If you’re a slave you don’t have much agency over your own life. When you’re emancipated, you have much more, but you’ve got that experience of being enslaved as insight into how to move through life.

      And what of us? What enslaves us? We may boast of being free, but how many of us fall in line with what other’s expect of us? How many are so tethered to the screen on their phone that they won’t look up and look someone in the eye? Which offers more truth for us? All we have is this moment together. We must learn to emancipate ourselves from that which enslaves us and focus on what is essential.

      “And when I do die, how will I die? Like a man who gives up everything that belongs to someone else.” — Epictetus, Discourses

      There are experiences we want to have in this lifetime. Some will be reached, some will fall by the wayside. What we do with our brief time isn’t always up to us, but we may control what we pay attention to and how we react to each encounter. Whatever will be will be (Que Sera, Sera). The rest will pass through our grasp. The secret to a happy life is learning to let those things fall away.

    • The Things Which Are My Own

      “How can a man preserve his firmness and tranquillity, and at the same time be careful and neither impatient or negligent? If he imitates people who play with dice. The dice are indifferent. How do I know what the numbers will be? I don’t know, but to choose the numbers I want, is in my control. So, in life the main priority is this: distinguish and separate things, and say, ‘”‘the external is not in my power: will is in my power. Where can I find the good and the bad? Within, in the things which are my own.” — Epictetus, Discourses: Complete Books 1 – 4 – Adapted for the Contemporary Reader

      I won’t pretend to be perfect at being alive, but it’s gotten me this far. This morning the sky was a shade of pink that reminded me of the time last year when the aurora borealis washed over the sky. When we see something wonderful like that, are we inclined to celebrate the miraculous moment or wish for something more? To simply savor the pink sky then or this morning is to be alive here and now, instead of forever chasing something more than this.

      The thing is, the world keeps reminding us that we aren’t in control of everything that washes over us. Some things are beautiful, some are ugly or even downright unfair and evil, but it’s all external to us and thus out of our control. We can’t reason with indifference, we can only find the truth that lies within us and hold on for dear life.

      Each day brings another reminder to focus on what is within our control, to influence what we can and to leave the rest to fate. We can’t control some of what washes over us, but we may choose to seek higher ground. We may choose to root ourselves in principle and truth.

      We learn that much of what is beautiful fades with time, but some of it reveals itself to us in momento (in the moment). Are we seeing it at all in our haste and worry? A beautiful life grows from the sapling of awareness. Deeply rooted, we may reach ever higher, while savoring each moment of (and with) clarity and purpose.

    • What Are Words For?

      My lips are moving and the sound’s coming out
      The words are audible but I have my doubts
      That you realize what has been said
      You look at me as if you’re in a daze
      It’s like the feeling at the end of the page
      When you realize you don’t know what you just read
      What are words for
      When no one listens anymore
      What are words for
      When no one listens
      What are words for
      When no one listens
      There’s no use talking at all
      — Missing Persons, Words

      I’m dating myself pulling out a New Wave song from the 80’s, but the lyrics are timeless, and really, more relevant than ever. In this sound bite world, the art of listening seems to be lost. It feels like so many are in such a hurry to speak that they never really listen. Worse, those who shout over others seem to be rewarded for their behavior by the crowd. We don’t live in a professional wrestling script, no matter how much politicians and talking heads want to embrace it. Life is far more nuanced than forever seeking the mic drop moment in everything that comes out of our mouths.

      Who is more powerful, the person who talks all the time or the one who listens to understand what is being said before speaking? The real power broker is the quiet one in the corner pulling the strings, unnoticed for the theatrics up on stage. Who do we aspire to become ourselves? The puppet or the puppeteer? The very best conversations aren’t happening in the populist shouting matches, they’re happening behind the scenes. The ticket to enter that circle is to learn to listen and speak intelligently, with insight and purpose.

      “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
      — Epictetus

      The thing is, the people reading a blog focused mainly on philosophy, poetry, history and self-improvement have already figured this out. The trick is to influence the people on the edge of our circle that they may be less inclined to join the shouting and begin to listen and see the world for what it is. The world needs a voice in the crowd to rally around now and then, if only to corral the masses towards a common vision. But the real momentum in life is built one quiet conversation at a time. Here we find meaning and understanding and consensus. Here we find a path forward, together. We ought to ensure it doesn’t become a lost art.

    • Counting Wins

      “Give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths.” — Epictetus

      And so we begin again. If a human life is marked by the sum of our days, then this day is our opportunity to launch into something greater than we were in our previous days. A new year is just the same as a new day: it’s all the same on our march forward. What counts is the march to better. What matters is following through one step at a time to the end of our days.

      The trick is to focus on the strengths we wish to develop in ourselves. The weaknesses are what we tend to resolve to change. This leads to frustration and failure. Where’s the fun in that? We all know deep down which resolutions are doomed to fail. They’re the ones without a compelling why and the simplicity of routine. What is more routine than doing the little things every day?

      Epictetus had it right. We must decide which kind of character we want to construct first. Who do we want to be? What is the price that closes the gap between that person and the person contemplating change? There will be days for leaping, but we ought to begin with what we’ll call a win when everything is upside down and failure is in the air. What counts as a win each day?

      I’m a streak hitter. I publish every day to keep this streak alive, just like every other positive habit. There are days when it’s the bare minimum, there are days when it’s a lot more, but it’s always something. That’s one example of paying the price every day, and a small win that keeps the momentum going. It’s become a strength simply in the doing.

      That gap isn’t closed with a leap. It’s closed by filling in the gap. One small win at a time.

    • Worthy of Becoming

      “What makes a man beautiful? Isn’t it being an excellent man? And so, if you wish to be beautiful, young man, work at this, the acquisition of human excellence. But what is this? Observe who you praise, when you praise many people without partiality: do you praise the fair or the unfair? ‘The fair.’ Do you praise the moderate or the immoderate? ‘The moderate.’ And the temperate or the intemperate? ‘The temperate.’ Therefore, you know if you make yourself a person like those who you praise, you will know that you will make yourself beautiful: but so long as you neglect these things, you must be ugly, even though you arrange all you can to appear beautiful.” — Epictetus, The Discourses

      We all aspire to something. Beauty. Power. Wealth. Fame. What we might become prods us along, becoming our why. This blog was born out of a desire to be a better writer, to express through a keyboard all the things I’d deferred in favor of other aspirations. That I stick with it is telling, for it betrays who I wish to become with every post.

      There’s been a steady improvement in the writer (perhaps also the writing) as change is documented, great works are read, routines are attempted. That he remains imperfect speaks to how far he had to go. He rarely speaks in the third person so this must be a very serious point. Or tongue-in-cheek. One never knows with this writer… and by that I mean one always knows.

      The thing is, the progress is there when we go look for it, when we have an aspiration worthy of pursuit. When we pass that magical ten thousand hour milestone, we believe we might just be mastering something but have learned just enough to realize we’ve got so very far to go. We never master anything, we only pursue excellence from a higher plane. But isn’t the view that much better? Just look at how far we’ve climbed!

      Any hiker will tell us this is a false summit. It feels like we’ve arrived but soon realize that it isn’t the summit at all, simply a small rise before we descend again to begin the next ascent. This can be crushing for the undisciplined, or simply a part of the climb for those who are more resilient. The trick is to stop looking around and start climbing again. Just good enough isn’t what we aspired to when we began this journey.

      Since we can’t possibly climb every summit in a lifetime, we must choose what we’ll aspire to master and what we’ll choose to be average or poor at. We ought to choose to fail at the things that won’t matter in the end that we may put all of our energy into developing within ourselves that which is truly beautiful. Arete—personal excellence, is our true summit, and thus worthy of the climb.

    • Self… Less

      “A person totally wrapped up in himself makes a small package.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

      It’s human nature to see the world through our own lens, but that doesn’t make it productive or particularly informative. So how do we reconcile this with a blog published daily? At what point does it become a vanity play? The very act of producing daily is a statement of self (Look: I’m still here!”), but it shouldn’t ever be about the self.

      When the writing becomes too self-absorbed, it become less interesting, as selfies make the worst photographs. A selfie may create an image for the photographer to remember the moment, but by nature the place the picture is being taken in is dominated by the person, screaming “Me!” for all who will listen. Writing in a self-absorbed way is simply journalling in disguise.

      The tricky thing about living in a world that celebrates the individual so much is that it promotes so much individualism. Yet we are at our very best when we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. The self often gets in the way on our path to something more. Self… less is a better mission. It focuses the mind on bigger things, inherently beyond the limitations of the individual.

      “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus

      Each day offers an opportunity to reach for the mirror or the telescope. Which will help us see beyond our present position? Yet we each have our verse to contribute. This daily practice of becoming ought to be documented. Does this create a contradiction? That depends on the underlying motivation of the writer. To contribute to the conversation is an act of generosity. To dominate the conversation is something less. The mission is clear: to draw from the self to contribute to something beyond it.

    • Walk the Walk

      “Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” – Epictetus

      To make giant leaps forward in our careers, athletically, intellectually… whatever, is a worthy aspiration. But should it be a goal? Shouldn’t we focus on consistently taking action towards who we want to be, instead of focusing on the end game? If you want to be a great photographer or writer or 400 meter hurdler, then chip away at meaningful activity that moves you incrementally towards realizing that dream. Talk is BS, it’s only the walk that matters.

      Shane Parrish recently wrote about Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, who touched on this topic. Adams favors systems over goals because it reinforces success every time you do what you said you were going to do. A goal usually ends up frustrating and discouraging us while a system rewards us constantly:

      “Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous pre-success failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their system. That’s a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.” — Scott Adams, as quoted by Shane Parrish in his blog

      I don’t agree with Adams on a lot of things, but I definitely see the truth in this statement. We can’t possibly feel successful if a goal is always out of reach, but we can feel good about our last workout or clicking publish one more day. We all should live by our personal credo. But it isn’t what we say that defines our lives, it’s what we do that exemplifies how delusional or on point that credo is. So walk the walk.

    • To Be a Philosopher

      “You must be one man, either good or bad. You must cultivate either your own ruling faculty or externals, and apply yourself either to things within or without you; that is, be either a philosopher, or one of the vulgar.” — Epictetus, The Enchiridion

      Do you ever wonder why the Stoics are more popular than ever? Why would Epictetus, who died in 135 A.D. be relevant today? Why would Marcus Aurelius, who died in 180 A.D. be so revered? Or Seneca, who died in 65 A.D.? I believe it comes down to a few key reasons: First and foremost, they wrote from a very human perspective that is still relatable no matter what millennium you’re passing your time in. Second; if it weren’t relevant it would have long ago been vanquished to the trash heap like the lesser work of millions before and after them. And finally, you might also say they gain a lot of momentum as the great men and women who followed them referred to them for wisdom and inspiration. And if it worked for them, why not us?

      On our journey from the vulgar, callow juvenile inside each of us to the refined, philosophical sage we may wish to become, we learn to cultivate discipline. Discipline draws us deeper into our true selves, structures our lives in such a way that we might accomplish a few things and bring us closer to becoming who we want to be. To stop looking from one shiny object to the next and focus on what means the most, now, and when we reach that stepping stone find the next.

      Will our own work become timeless, or vanquished with the lesser work of millions? We’re dealt an unfair hand trying to measure up with the greatest thinkers of the past. That’s not stoicism, that’s upward comparison. Comparing yourself to others leads to unfocused misery. It’s better to compare yourself with the person you used to be instead. Stoicism is a quest to become the best person you can be in your short time on earth. Ultimately everything we do shows the way for those who follow us. Just as those great Stoics did. If it’s transcendently great it might become timeless. But it’s not for us to decide such things.

      Our only purpose is to maximize our potential in the time we’re given. To cultivate our own ruling faculty and apply ourselves to becoming what we might. While we may.

    • Calm

      “Real power is not in momentary desires, but in complete calmness.” – Leo Tolstoy

      I have a bit of nervous energy as I write this. I’m traveling tomorrow for the first time in seven months and there’s a vibrating exhilaration deep inside knowing that I’m getting on a plane again, going to another state and driving around to places new to me. Mind you, its not like I’m flying to Antarctica for an extended climate change study, I’m going to Cleveland. I’ve been to Cleveland at least a half dozen times that I can recall and maybe a time or two beyond that. But it’s travel in a time of no travel, and this year that alone creates a buzz.

      I got the same vibration hiking solo up Mount Tecumseh earlier this summer. Not because it was a particularly challenging hike, but because I was hiking it alone late in the day. Just enough risk to raise the level of uncertainty, but calculated risk. Hiking alone at night inherently offers risk to the hiker. You just don’t have people walking by you to offer assistance. So you take extra care or alternatively, you charge ahead brazenly challenging fate.

      Calmness in the face of potential stressors is a superpower. In an age of talking heads stirring the pot of anxiety for advantage, of a pandemic ramping up for killing season, of a time when we teeter on the brink of a deeper recession or a depression and irreversible climate change should we get this wrong, in this time the calm prevail. We can take the bait and react, or swim calmly in the present storm.

      “Do not be concerned too much with what will happen. Everything that happens will be good and useful for you.” – Epictetus

      The posters used early on during the Blitz, “Keep Calm and Carry On” naturally come to mind. Those posters weren’t successful at the time as people viewed them as patronizing, but the expression has exploded in popularity in the last twenty years. Whether you view it as patronizing or nostalgic now, the expression does carry weight as a stoic reminder to keep your head about you. For in calmness we find clarity.

      During that time when the British were facing down Nazi aggression, Viktor Frankl was living a nightmare in a succession of Nazi prison camps, ending at Auschwitz before finally being freed at the end of the war. He observed that state of mind had a lot to do with who survived and who didn’t as much as the whim of fate. Some people were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but others just gave up in the face of hopelessness and horror. Some people survived simply because they had a purpose for living. Based on this experience, he wrote the extraordinary book Man’s Search for Meaning after the war.

      “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
      – Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

      Today we live in a time when everything is hyper-scrutinized, everything is a perceived affront, everything is designed to invoke a spark of fear or outrage. But when we swim in our sea of calmness, we overcome the efforts of those who would inspire a follow or a like or another cycle of commercials before they tell you the rest of the story. A calm mind sees the truth in the world and in ourselves. It remains the best foundation for a life of purpose and happiness. Want to improve the state of world? Be calm. And yes; carry on.