Blog

  • Seeking the Unfinished Parts

    “The tops of mountains are among the unfinished parts of the globe, whither it is a slight insult to the gods to climb and pry into their secrets, and try their effect on our humanity. Only daring and insolent men, perchance, go there.”― Henry David Thoreau, The Maine Woods

    The White Mountains of New Hampshire are my destination of choice when I seek “unfinished parts of the globe” close to home. Lately I haven’t summited many mountains, what with life and all. But I still seek them out and hope for more time to pry into their secrets.

    I took the easy route for the sunrise picture below, standing beside a large window at the Mount Washington Hotel and immersed in Victorian elegance while looking out at the Presidential Range. Opting for the quick picture instead of hiking up to greet them in person might seem like cheating. Not very daring or insolent at all, really. But then again, the picture wasn’t going to wait for me to exit the building, let alone climb a trail. And so here it is, reflections and all, to remind me that there are mountains still to climb. Should we dare to go there.

  • The Act of Being

    It’s worth realigning our doing, to whatever degree we can, with our joy. Even better, find your joy in the act of being. And almost all doing can become joyful as a consequence.” — Neil Strauss

    There is plenty to be unhappy about in the world. Circumstances aren’t always optimal for joy. But let’s be honest, life is rarely optimized for joy. We must focus on collecting the bits of it together and build our own joy nugget. This isn’t delusional, it’s purposeful living.

    We all know people who find no joy in anything. We all know people who find joy in everything. Which do you suppose is the better way to go through life?

    Be joyful. Enjoy being. Simple? No, but deliberate.

  • One Week in Infinity

    “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”
    ― Vladimir Lenin

    I’m hesitant to quote Lenin for all the reasons you might imagine, but the quote resonates this particular week, when the world and my own world turned in on itself and landed with a thud. Plans and lives can change in an instant. Our bravado betrays us as our fragility surprises us. It might all seem too much.

    And yet the rivers still flow to the sea. The sun continues to greet us every morning, indifferent to humanity’s struggles. The most distant stars reach across 100,000+ years to express their indifference, and their light keeps on reaching beyond us to infinity. Who are we to fixate on a single week?

    And yet, in the microscope of a human lifetime, Lenin’s quote rings true. Some weeks are far more eventful than others. Some moments stay with us forever. But what is forever for you and me? We weren’t built to dance with infinity, but we can dance with today.

    Like that starlight flying past us, this moment will pass. We will pass. But we each play our small part in what happens before it all flies away. We ought to make the most of it.

  • Playing At the Edges of Knowing

    I believe I will never quite know.
    Though I play at the edges of knowing,
    truly I know
    our part is not knowing, but looking, and touching, and loving,
    which is the way I walked on,
    softly,
    through the pale-pink morning light.

    — Mary Oliver, Bone

    Like the beach Mary Oliver walked in this poem, life ebbs and flows. We either surf the rip or get pulled under by it. This latest period of chaos could overwhelm us or strengthen our resolve to persevere in the face of it.

    We never quite know all that we seek to understand. Just when we think we’ve got it figured out the world throws another curveball at you. Coming out of a pandemic, thinking that things will finally get better and… they don’t. Not yet anyway. You know that this too shall pass, somehow. But life asks us to wait just a bit longer still. Or life tells you that your time has come, sooner than you expected it to. Just when you thought you’d arrived.

    Our part is not meant to be easy. Our part is not knowing, but staying with it anyway. Our part is to support one another in the face of uncertainty.

    Amor Fati, or “love of fate”, is the stoic’s answer to these times. Amor is not quite right. We don’t have to love our fate. But accepting it frees us to focus on the moments we have together. While there’s still time.

  • Focus in Chaos

    How do you stay informed in a world gone mad without losing focus on the things that are most important for you? It’s not easy–we can all find something very distracting and completely out of our control just a click away. I allocate time for my daily news update from trusted sources, absorb the weight of it and do my best to keep crossing the stream of time one leap at a time without drowning in the abyss.

    When you refocus on that next leap, does it mean you’ve chosen ignorance, or discipline? For all of us to remain sane in a time of escalating tension, we can’t keep drinking from the fountain of bad news. Be aware, react and refocus on what we can control. We don’t cross the street without looking both ways, and we shouldn’t completely ignore the world around us. But it doesn’t mean we should huddle in fear and never take the first step towards our destination. We can’t bring light into this world without action.

    Just like those before us, our time is full of challenges and assaults on our senses. And like those who came before we must find a way to focus anyway. The only real choice is to assess our place, summon up the necessary audacity and make the leap.

    Be bold, despite it all.

  • Transcending the Path

    I’m told that Iddo Landau once said that we should all “transcend the common and the mundane.” Yesterday I had an opportunity to test that with a drive through parts of five of the United States on my way from New Hampshire to New Jersey. How do you transcend a long and overly familiar drive? Music helps, and I dove deep into a healthy mix of early 90’s grunge early on, mixed in a compelling podcast and made a few calls. I stopped for coffee and talked to two veterans of the Korean War for a few minutes, thanking them for their service and sharing a hope for peace in this crazy world. The commute soon slipped away and I was surprised to see the Tappan Zee Bridge rise up ahead of me. I arrived at my destination right when I thought I might.

    If life is short, shouldn’t we seize even these common and mundane moments? Our life path takes us to mountaintops and magical evenings with those we love, but it also takes us through White Plains, New York on a random Monday. What we do with that part of the path is what matters most.

    The world has taught us that none of this should be taken for granted. We might start out with the intention of getting from here to there, but we can never be sure how it will go or whether we’ll actually arrive until we get there. Making the most of each moment as the miles tick away is a way of living the axiom, “it’s the journey, not the destination”. There’s no better opportunity to prove that than on a rather common and mundane part of life’s journey.

  • To Be Alive

    “The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond them.” — Alan Watts

    “The sound of the rain needs no translation. In music one doesn’t make the end of the composition the point of the composition. Same way in dancing, you don’t aim at one particular spot in the room… The whole point of dancing is the dance.” — Alan Watts

    If there were ever a counterargument to an overt focus on productivity and shipping our work every day, it would be these two quotes (and just about every Thoreau quote I draw upon). Life is about the dance, not about arriving at a place. To be alive is the whole point. Knowing that, how are we doing? Do we greet today as a new song to dance to, or as “Monday”? If every day is a new song, what do we hear when we wake up? Do we go immediately to our to-do list or simply begin to dance?

    Happy Monday.

  • Hiking the Trails of Mount Wachusett

    On every side, the eye ranged over successive circles of towns, rising one above another, like the terraces of a vineyard, till they were lost in the horizon. Wachusett is, in fact, the observatory of the State. There lay Massachusetts, spread out before us in its length and breadth, like a map. There was the level horizon, which told of the sea on the east and south, the well-known hills of New Hampshire on the north, and the misty summits of the Hoosac and Green Mountains, first made visible to us the evening before, blue and unsubstantial, like some bank of clouds which the morning wind would dissipate, on the northwest and west. These last distant ranges, on which the eye rests unwearied, commence with an abrupt boulder in the north, beyond the Connecticut, and travel southward, with three or four peaks dimly seen. But Monadnock, rearing its masculine front in the northwest, is the grandest feature.

    As we beheld it, we knew that it was the height of land between the two rivers, on this side the valley of the Merrimack, or that of the Connecticut, fluctuating with their blue seas of air,—these rival vales, already teeming with Yankee men along their respective streams, born to what destiny who shall tell? Watatic, and the neighboring hills in this State and in New Hampshire, are a continuation of the same elevated range on which we were standing. But that New Hampshire bluff,–that promontory of a State,—lowering day and night on this our State of Massachusetts, will longest haunt our dreams.
    ” — Henry David Thoreau, A Walk to Wachusett

    Mount Wachusett is a glaciated monadnock, standing 2006 feet tall. Like her neighbor to the northwest, Mount Monadnock in New Hampshire, Mount Wachusett stands watch over the landscape that bows before her. You can’t talk about one mountain without mentioning the other, for they are forever kindred spirits in the landscape. Both mountains are uniquely positioned so that their waters flow to the Merrimack River from one side and to the Connecticut River from the other. The waters from each river run in my blood, which made a hike to the summit a sort of homecoming for me. And yet, for all the hikes I’ve done on Monadnock, I’d never hiked Wachusett.

    This was a month where the weather continued to disappoint those who dream of deep snow drifts, while thrilling those who pine for a mild winter. Count me in the camp of the former: I wanted nothing more than to fly across snow plains this winter. A heavy snowfall the day before offered one last chance for the month. But it was quickly apparent that this was a micro spike hike, and the snow shoes were left behind yet again.

    From the Visitor’s Center, you can easily summit Mount Wachusett in under 30 minutes. But that wasn’t our goal. Instead we took the Bicentennial Trail around the eastern slope to High Meadow Trail, up through a stand of Hemlocks to the Pine Hill Trail. Fluffy snow over ice creates uncertain footing, and we slowed our pace to mitigate the risk of injury. For a time, the only break in the trail ahead was from a porcupine, who’s distinct tail marked the trail in footprints and swirly plows. It seems most people cut to the chase and scramble up the mountain. We were more inclined to linger with it, to get to know it better. To feel what Thoreau felt when he and Richard Fuller hiked here from Concord, set up their tent atop the lonely summit, and had the place to themselves for a night.

    Wachusett’s summit has changed since Thoreau’s time. There’s a ski slope on one side, there’s a mountain road you can drive up in the warmer months to see the view without earning it, and there’s ample parking for those cars. A few towers, including an observation tower, complete the scene. I wonder, reading Thoreau’s account, where did they pitch their tent and read Virgil by the light of a summer full moon?

    Winter snow obscures much of the impact of man, but you’re still clearly in a manmade world when you’re on the summit of Mount Wachusett. To return to nature you must seek the trails that criss-cross around the reservation. But the views are largely the same as they were for Thoreau’s 180 years ago. Just as it was for him, Monadnock stands prominently as the grandest feature of the 360 degree view.

    Inevitably we left with more to see, trails and old growth forest to explore another day. For this day I found what I was looking for. Time with an old friend hiking trails I’d always meant to get to one day. And a glimpse into a world Thoreau would find both foreign yet comfortably familiar. Wachusett is timelessly accessible, but somehow always felt apart from the mountains I sought out. We finally got acquainted with one another.

    Summit tower, Mount Wachusett
    Distinctive porcupine tracks mark the trail
    Plenty of exposed granite despite the snow
    Which way do we go? Plenty of choices.
  • Hemlocks in Snow

    “Do you know that even when you look at a tree and say, ‘That is an oak tree’, or ‘that is a banyan tree’, the naming of the tree, which is botanical knowledge, has so conditioned your mind that the word comes between you and actually seeing the tree? To come in contact with the tree you have to put your hand on it and the word will not help you to touch it.”
    ― Jiddu Krishnamurti, Freedom from the Known

    I encountered a stand of hemlock trees shading the path I walked. Combined with the crisp breeze I was quickly chilled. Not five minutes before I’d contemplated taking off layers and just like that the trees stole whatever warmth was radiating down from the sun and left me with nothing but cold. Yet the trees stood indifferently to my comfort.

    Walking through the hemlocks, feeling their silent majesty, I stopped focusing on myself and appreciated the stoic beauty of the trees. These trees touched me, even as I felt their indifference. And I wanted to linger even with the cold wind relentlessly driving me to find a sunny spot on the trail. Now mind you, I don’t go around hugging trees. But I do exhibit what might be considered by some to be an unusual fondness for them. And these trees, red bark and green needles, are survivors. It’s not easy growing on a mountain, and my moment of cold discomfort was a good reminder of their toughness. For even now they stand together in the dark of a winter night, while I retreat to the comfort of home.

    It’s funny, you can leave a stand of trees, yet they stay with you still.

  • Yet Another Mess to Clean Up

    “It was Sam’s first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad that he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man’s name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lies or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would rather have stayed there in peace.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

    What do we make of war? What do we make of people who don’t interpret it as the horrible failure of diplomacy that it is? As you get a bit older you recognize that most people are winging it, no matter what their title. A few people push harder to get their way than the rest of us. And a rare few rise to the top through burning singular focus and a bag of tricks. We see people we’d never want to associate with in real life rising to powerful positions in business and politics, and we’re left to deal with the consequences. History taught us this in the two World Wars, didn’t it? How quickly we forget when those who fought those wars pass on.

    J.R.R. Tolkien fought in World War One and lived through World War Two. The Lord of the Rings is derived from his experience in war. It’s a book worth investing the time in, for it brings us into a world we can’t imagine living in for the weakness of character and selfish power grabs of those in leadership positions and the unrelenting misery for those who do the dirty work. The books should be required reading. Add it to your list of banned books to get through before the hordes of fascists begin burning the next pile.

    The tragic events unfolding in Ukraine were highly predictable and likely avoidable. But it all started much sooner than 2022. In a way, there was a ticking time bomb released since Boris Yeltsin expanded the powers of the Russian Presidency, and handed over the reigns to Vladimir Putin in 1999. It surely accelerated the moment Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for the American Presidency, shifting the party of Ronald Reagan to whatever it’s become since then. If you want a close look at long view power grabbing, look no farther than Putin. Over 23 years he’s worked to eliminate or mitigate the checks and balances meant to curb the power of an autocrat, both domestically and abroad, and here we are.

    I joked when Trump was elected that I hoped the world wouldn’t crumble in on itself with him at the helm. It wasn’t worse than I expected, but it’s on pace to be. The only way to fight an autocrat with a long view is to swing the view of the people against them. There’s darkness in the world that can only be eliminated by putting a spotlight on it. And just as we saw in every other tragic example in history, we are the ones who have to clean up the mess.