Alexandersmap

    Category: Habits

    • The Audacious Turn

      “There’s no glory in climbing a mountain if all you want to do is to get to the top. It’s experiencing the climb itself – in all its moments of revelation, heartbreak, and fatigue – that has to be the goal.” — Karyn Kusama

      This week has been filled with moments of revelation, heartbreak and fatigue. Sure, the Olympics has been jammed with such moments, but really, I’m talking about my own unique combination of work week, exercise regime and writing. Anything that represents the climb for us is bound to be full of highs and lows. The trick is to learn to accept it all and keep climbing.

      What makes life more interesting—the view at the top or the obstacles we navigate along the way? Perhaps a better way to ask that question is, which makes the better story? Life isn’t simply that Instagram post capturing the sunset, pretty as it may be, it’s the hike up to earn it and the careful descent down the rock scramble afterwards that we’ll talk about in the days that follow. The thing about climbing is that even while we’re constantly facing challenges, we grow more and more prepared to tackle such things. We grow more fit, more resilient, more determined to do just a little bit more tomorrow. And live to tell the tale.

      This summer has been a reacquaintance with cycling. There are rides I’ve done recently that I wouldn’t have done a month ago. I’ve noticed that the more I ride the less I go to the rail trails. Sure, we can ride them every day and avoid most climbs and vehicle traffic, but what have we experienced? The steep hills I opted out of climbing before are worth tackling now because I’m less intimidated by the climb and because flat gets boring. We do the work that we may climb, and so it follows that we must climb when we’ve done the work.

      That nagging voice is reminding me that there are other hills that I keep riding past in my life in favor of easier rides. There are chapters to write that haven’t been written, awaiting a bolder version of me. We can go an entire lifetime saying we’ll do the tough work tomorrow and never make the audacious turn up that hill. Then again, we can simply be bold today and see how it plays out. We are here to experience it all, aren’t we? So what perceived limitations will we test in our life today?

    • Ought To’s and Got To’s

      “Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” — Simone de Beauvoir

      We ought to act with more urgency in our days. Ought to’s aren’t the same as got to’s though, are they? We know we ought to work out more, eat and drink less empty calories, read more, make the call we’ve been meaning to make and do that other thing that’s been nagging at us for some time now. What did we actually get to yesterday? That’s the stuff of consequence that moved the chains in our march through time. Got to’s are palpable because we feel the change that comes with them.

      There are few things more fulfilling than a solid day in which we do the things we’d promised ourselves that we’d do. It sets the table for a bolder tomorrow, clears the deck of yesterday’s commitments and confirms for us that we got to do the things we knew we ought to do. Excuses fall by the wayside as accomplishments stack up behind us.

      We know that there’s always another ought to rising up to meet us. That’s life. But that next ought to is easier to face when we’ve gotten to the things that came up before. Each lifts us to a higher place; a staircase of accomplishments rising to a higher identity. The view is distinctly better the higher we climb. Certainly better than down there treading water under the weight of all those ought to’s.

      The thing is, we read an inspiring quote like Beauvoir’s and feel the lift of her words. Do we act on it in the moment? Changing our lives seems pretty big when we think about it, but really it’s just the next thing we’ve got to do completed, and the one after that. So by all means, we must act now, and leave today’s ought to’s in the past where they belong.

    • Getting Past Wobbly

      “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” — Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

      The thing about cycling (or anything, really) is that anyone can do it, but to get really good at it you’ve got to do it a lot. Do the 10,000 hours of paying your dues in sweat equity and your conditioning is sound, your creative use of gears makes hill climbs easier, and you stop thinking about the cars zipping past you at high speeds inches from your left shoulder (or you find better routes). In short, you learn the tricks of the trade and gain some muscle memory for having done the work. But there’s no getting around that wobbly start.

      The thing about writing every day is that you gain that same muscle memory, expressed through paragraphs of prose you didn’t know were in your head when you started. Is a blog enough when you look back on the content created? We know the answer when we begin to ask the question—there’s more to do for us. It’s not just this, friend, whatever our this may be. We should get to it already. It’s those wobbly starts that scare us. How can we possibly make it up that hill if we’re so wobbly on the flat? How can we finish a novel when we barely have time to finish a blog?

      The hill will be there when it’s time to climb the hill. For now just start peddling and gaining momentum and see where life can bring us. Starting is enough in the beginning, pretty soon we’re surprising ourselves with things like average speed and elevation gain in cycling, or word count, better phrasing and such in writing. We aspire to climb to greater heights in the things we wish to be great at and find joy in the process, that we may begin again tomorrow with even loftier goals.

      The trick is to get out of our own head and start. We really should. Who cares if we’re a bit wobbly in the beginning anyway? Soon we’ll find some momentum. The fact that we’re thinking about climbing that hill means we’re ready to attempt it. When we really think about it, the only thing wobbly is the excuse for not starting now. So what is your hill and what are you waiting for?

    • Let Us Be Bold Today

      “I think that all human systems require continuous renewal. They rigidify. They get stuff in the joints. They forget what they cared about. The forces against it are nostalgia and the enormous appeal of having things the way they always have been, appeals to a supposedly happy past. But we’ve got to move on.” — John W. Gardner

      Rigidify isn’t a word I use frequently, but isn’t it perfectly opposite of embracing change and the growth that comes with it? We’re all changing every day, we just don’t see the changes until we’ve looked back with some perspective. Sure, there are abrupt changes that turn us upside down now and then in a lifetime, but for the most part we must be the invoker of state change in our lives.

      The problem is that everything grows so damned comfortable. We’re less inclined to change dramatically, preferring the incremental changes we can absorb with careful consideration. That’s why we stay where we are, doing what we’ve been doing, with the people we’ve always done them with, until the end… Rigidified. Let that <yawn> not be us.

      We get caught up in big picture stuff too often, and forget the small act we can make in the moment that will change everything given enough momentum. There’s a feeling of hopelessness in people paralyzed by all the things in their life that get in the way of the leap into new. Change feels too big. Maybe start with how we spend the next hour instead. What is the most dynamic, energizing, empowering thing we can do right now that is within our control? Do some version of that. Shake off the cobwebs and leap! At least try a little hop?

      “You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything good to do.” — Ferris Bueller to Cameron, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

      We all need that Ferris Bueller character in our lives to call us out for getting too comfortable in our own current state. If good is truly the enemy of great, then good enough in this moment is keeping us from something far better. We ought to be more creative with our hours. This current one is slipping away quickly. So consider this a Bueller callout and shake off the cobwebs. Let us be bold today.

    • The Realized and the Wistful

      “If more information was the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.” ― Derek Sivers

      We know we’ve got to work the plan to meet our objectives. Plans without work are simply dreams that will eventually be wistful regrets. I write a lot about productivity to remind myself that becoming is an act of deliberate action. Everything else is talk.

      As Jim Collins demonstrated to us with his analogy in Good to Great, pushing the flywheel establishes momentum. In theory it becomes easier and easier as we push and the flywheel’s momentum takes over. The opposite is true as well: stop pushing for awhile and all momentum is lost and the work becomes harder to get back on track. The lesson is to keep pushing. The underlying lesson is to make sure we’re pushing on the right flywheel in the first place.

      It’s essential to assess things as we go so we don’t arrive at the place we’ve been pushing towards only to find it wasn’t where we wanted to be in the first place. I had a few people question me when I stated I was assessing whether to keep writing this blog. I think it’s fair to ask that question of ourselves, but maybe not fair to put it out there in writing for all to see. Perhaps I overshared. Still, I keep pushing.

      The root of the Sivers quote above, and the conclusion I’m finally getting to, is that we’re all figuring it out as we go. We can’t stop pushing ahead to establish and sustain momentum, but we must pause long enough now and then to assess where we are and where we’re going. There are no do-overs in this game, and nothing is ever perfect. But when we get it right, we might maximize our realized dreams while minimizing those wistful regrets. Maybe that’s enough success for one lifetime.

    • Raising the Average

      “If you have the aspiration of kicking ass when you’re 85, you can’t afford to be average when you’re 50.” — Peter Attia

      A while back I committed to doing a fundraiser to fund research grants for children’s cancer. I more than doubled the amount of miles I would do compared to last year, when I walked 100% of the miles. The logic was that by combining walking with higher return on time investment workouts like rowing and cycling I should be able to do much more than I did simply walking. But there was a secondary motivation for ramping up the mileage: habit reformation. I’d simply gotten out of the habit of doing some workouts I love to do but aren’t as easy as simply walking. But we’re in it for the long haul, aren’t we?

      We’re all going to decline both physically and mentally over time. I’ve seen too many people I know slide in one or both ways over the last few years, and it’s a reminder that time is coming for us too. If the goal is to live a vibrant, healthy life for as long as possible before we decline, like Attia’s ass-kicking 85 year-old, then we’d best build a strong foundation now, whatever age we’re currently at. A walk is better than sitting, but a diverse fitness routine is better still. Queue the fundraiser as catalyst for lifestyle change.

      Time is the enemy of all of us. If we’re going to be productive in ways other than exercise, we can’t afford the time to be working out constantly. At least that’s what that other voice keeps telling us when we’re deciding between working out or making coffee first thing in the morning. We can do it tomorrow is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. The reality is that we get more energy when we move more, which makes us feel more productive than we’d have been otherwise. It’s 8 AM and I’ve completed a 13 mile ride, a swim, showered and fed the pup and I’m about to click publish on this blog post. We nurture and increase possibility in doing more with the time we have.

      Now extend that lifestyle out to the end of our days. Imagine what else if possible if we simply use our available time in more productive and exhilarating ways. A bit of ass-kicking today can build a future well above the average.

    • Before the Noise

      Well, those drifters days are past me now
      I’ve got so much more to think about
      Deadlines and commitments
      What to leave in
      What to leave out
      — Bob Seger, Against the Wind

      Count me in as a proponent of productive mornings. I get far more done in the first three hours of the day than I do the rest of the day. We all have our time of peak energy and focus, and for me it’s between the moment I wake up and the moment the world throws its first curveball my way. Every day offers new twists and turns, and all we can truly count on is that short amount of time that is ours before the noise.

      Before is the trick, I think. Before everyone else’s agenda becomes ours. Before the distraction machine between our ears has robbed us of our focus and mental energy to do anything of consequence this day. Before is everything for the early bird.

      This post is out late because I prioritized a long mileage workout over writing. Normally I do it the other way around, but alas, the workouts don’t always survive intact after the noise. With deadlines and commitments, we’re always weighing what to leave in and what to leave out in our lives. A song like Against the Wind is more meaningful with a few miles on the soul than it was as a kid.

      Priorities change as we do. And we aren’t drifting at this point in our lives, are we? No, we’re living with purpose and trying to fit as much in as a day will give us. The lesson always seems to come back to starting early and not beating ourselves up for leaving a few things out.

    • Choices and Character

      “The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” ― Heraclitus

      “Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.” — Heraclitus

      A good day to double down on the Heraclitus quotes. It’s raining out, the planned heavy mileage morning washed aside in a wave of rain water and that extra mai tai last night. A setback is not a trend, but it can be the start of one if we let it go unchecked. The influence of friends and circumstance can sway us from our key objectives if we don’t stay focused on who we are meant to be.

      This is where that protracted and patient effort comes into play. What is our system for resetting ourselves on the task at hand? Systems are our big picture, identity-based habits are the daily reckoning. We are what we repeatedly do, nothing more and nothing less. If those systems and habits are negative, we’ll repeat the same mistakes over and over, if they’re positive and productive, we’ll quickly right the ship and get back on course.

      The best way I’ve found to stay on course for the long haul is to ask myself every morning, who is the character I wish to become? Which leads to the secondary question, what do I need to do today to lead me there? And then it’s simply doing it. Diversions off the path happen to all of us in our long march to what’s next, that doesn’t make it who we are or will become so long as we steer our choices back to character.

    • To Live Is to Fly

      To live is to fly low and high
      so shake the dust off of your wings
      and the sleep out of your eyes
      — Cowboy Junkies, To Live Is to Fly

      I think that maybe stagnation is our greatest adversary. It kills any momentum in our lives and hastens our demise. We must move while we can. Stillness will claim us one day soon, but not just yet.

      Yes, I think that movement is the key. We must keep moving to fully live. Even trees, forever rooted to place, are constantly reaching up and outward to embrace the light, and dance in the breeze together. So it is with us, even when rooted, we must keep moving.

      Yesterday I rolled out the bicycle for a long ride along a rail trail. Cycling is the low form of flying, but a delightful way to traverse time and place. I wondered, why don’t I ride more often? No answer was apparent, just a resolution to take flight again soon. Life is a series of self-discoveries with the occasional memory jog reminding us that there are moments from our past worthy of a moment of reacquaintance. A bicycle deserves a better fate than to hang forever in a garage gathering dust. So too do we.

      What else is gathering dust, awaiting our return? Hiking boots? Books? Passports? First drafts? What might we put into motion again, that it may take off full of life? We must shake the dust off and flap these wings. To live is to fly, low and high.

    • Something New

      Above the mountains
      the geese turn into
      the light again

      Painting their
      black silhouettes
      on an open sky.

      Sometimes everything
      has to be
      inscribed across
      the heavens

      so you can find
      the one line
      already written
      inside you.

      Sometimes it takes
      a great sky
      to find that

      first, bright
      and indescribable
      wedge of freedom
      in your own heart.

      Sometimes with
      the bones of the black
      sticks left when the fire
      has gone out

      someone has written
      something new
      in the ashes of your life.

      You are not leaving.
      Even as the light fades quickly now,
      you are arriving
      — David Whyte, The Journey

      On the 4th of July I walked out onto the deck, stepped down the first stair and noticed a sag in the decking. You know exactly what the story is in such moments, the question was the extent of wood rot in the joists under the decking. It turned out to be not all that much and a quick trip to the home improvement box store for some new pressure treated lumber solved the issue. Time had crept up on the joist, which I distinctly remember building beyond the code at the time. Time is indifferent to such things.

      Life is change. We know this. Sometimes the change is more apparent than at other times. Sometimes it’s thrust upon us by circumstance, sometimes it creeps over us so slowly that we don’t notice it until we look around and everything is different. We may choose how to react in such moments, but we may agree it’s far better to be surfing the edge of the wave than washed over by it.

      The thing is, walking down that step on that day felt different already. Because I’m different, and the people who have used those steps are all different too. Too many have moved on forever. We may mourn the passing of time and the changes it brings or work our way up to the edge and surf it. We choose how we react to the changes in our lives. Something new may be debilitating or exhilarating, depending on how we interact with the wave. Be inclined to embrace the thrill of change for the duration, for it’s rolling either way.