Alexandersmap

    Category: Habits

    • On Pace

      “Everything and everyone at their own pace. Flow with not against yourself.” ― Akiroq Brost

      There’s no doubt some days are busier than others, but barring the random crisis that falls from the sky, in general we create the conditions within which we live our days. So when our pace of life feels frenetic, in general that’s on us for choosing a lifestyle that is perpetually reactive and jammed. Most of us have the agency to change our state over time.

      In general, I write and publish blog posts early in the morning before the world has a say in how I spend my time. When the world comes a-knockin’ it becomes exponentially harder to write. So protecting that time with minimal sensory download from the world allows me to honor the quiet space my mind enters when writing. Once that door is cracked open, it’s all over.

      I’ve thought about changing to a long-form blog post, published weekly instead of daily. I haven’t done that mostly because clicking publish every day is one of the primary reasons I write every day. The moment I take that tangible check box away (publishing), the moment my sense of urgency to write fades. My identity as a blogger is very much associated with publishing.

      Pace is a mindset as much as a physical output. Our capacity and limitations determine our pace, but so too does our decision-making. We can run at top speed until the wheels come off or we can make a pit stop now and then. We know the wheels are coming off when we start to wobble a bit. And we know when the tank is running dry when our engine starts to cough. It goes without saying that we don’t want to run at that pace if we’re in it for the long haul.

      Ultimately, pace is determined by deciding what the finish line is and adjusting our day-to-day accordingly. We can sprint until we stumble and fall flat on our face, but what good is that if we’re only a mile into a marathon? Pace becomes as essential to finishing as starting in the first place. We decide what to be and can go be it, but only if we set a sustainable pace from here to there.

    • The Rhythm of Routine

      “Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” ― Will Durant, The History of Philosophy

      We get into a rhythm of routine in our lives. When we travel frequently this becomes our rhythm. When we hike or sail or play pickle ball every free moment we’re in a rhythm of routine. And when we do nothing but stare at a computer monitor all day we’re most definitely in a rhythm of routine. We find a rhythm that works for us and we dance with it for as long as we feel the beat in our souls.

      We’re just past two weeks into a new year as this is published. It’s a good chance to review progress thus far and ask ourselves, are we getting where we thought we’d go when we rounded the corner on last year? Does that rhythm of routine feel right or do we need to change the playlist? Are the weekends filling up with joyful pursuits, or are we stumbling through to Monday? Does the work feel right or are we looking towards Friday?

      We are reminded now and then that we need the right dance partner or we never quite feel the rhythm enough to dance with it. Sure, we can dance by ourselves, but what’s the fun in that? Any adventure in life is better together. With the right partner, we become accountable, and push each other just enough to go that much farther into the world. And surely, the right partner also keeps us from charging off the cliff when we get ahead of ourselves.

      Looking at my own daily habit tracker, I see a pattern very similar to last year’s habit track. Some things I defined as absolutely essential to the rhythm I want to be dancing in aren’t being checked frequently, if at all. Some are tracking nicely to firmly establish themselves as part of my identity. Nothing speaks more clearly than the truth staring back at you in black and white. We must measure our progress, that we may reconcile our beliefs with our behavior.

      Indeed we are what we repeatedly do. Does the rhythm of our routine feel right for us to reach personal excellence? The answer lies in progress—incremental or in big leaps forward. Are we getting there, or settling into a routine of excuses and complacency? We can reset ourselves at any time, really. Why not now?

    • Time Will Have His Fancy

      ‘The years shall run like rabbits,
      For in my arms I hold
      The Flower of the Ages,
      And the first love of the world.’
      But all the clocks in the city
      Began to whirr and chime:
      ‘O let not Time deceive you,
      You cannot conquer Time.
      ‘In the burrows of the Nightmare
      Where Justice naked is,
      Time watches from the shadow
      And coughs when you would kiss.
      ‘In headaches and in worry
      Vaguely life leaks away,
      And Time will have his fancy
      To-morrow or to-day.
      — W.H. Auden, As I Walked Out One Evening

      January seems to be the time for planning out the year in neat blocks of time, priorities and action steps. It’s fairly easy work to define what must be done, it’s harder to actually do it. The execution of a plan is always the trick, isn’t it? Yet broken down into small enough steps, we somehow find the task more manageable. It seems there’s always enough time for the things that matter most, should we build our lives around our priorities. But time has other plans for us, should we lose our way.

      Lately in my work I talk a lot of urgency. We ought to feel it in our bones, and do something about it now. It’s cliché for a reason, for it matters a great deal in said execution of plan. It’s a call to arms, really—a reminder that time flies and the wishes of today are the regrets of tomorrow. We must therefore seize what flees, as our old friend Seneca reminded us.

      Later in Auden’s magical poem, he writes of wondering what we’ve missed. Wrestling with the eternal, we realize that we are not. We are but a moment’s sunlight, fading in the grass, as Chet Powers wrote and The Youngbloods made famous. It’s an unfair practice to dwell on that which has slipped from our grasp if we use the tally to embrace a helpless state of low agency, but when we use these moments to learn to be bolder in our choices now they may be just the catalyst we need. Feel the urgency yet? Carpe diem, friend. Tempus fugit.

      All this is nothing but a stack of words until we do something with our time. Be bold. Be audacious. Decide what to be and go be it. Today will slip away just as all the rest have. Yet we may still do something with the hour at hand.

    • The 75% Lifestyle Choice

      “Scientific studies suggest that only about 25 percent of how long we live is dictated by genes, according to famous studies of Danish twins. The other 75 percent is determined by our lifestyles and the everyday choices we make. It follows that if we optimize our lifestyles, we can maximize our life expectancies within our biological limits.” ― Dan Buettner, The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who’ve Lived the Longest

      When you think about it, most of us have far more agency over the quality and length of our lives than we believe we have. Accidents will happen, genetics are what they are, but on the whole we have a say in how healthy and resilient we are. So it follows that we ought to make better choices in our day-to-day routines. Eat better, move more, find time to decompress and place ourselves in a supportive environment with people more like the person we want to become. Simple, right?

      January has come to be known as “damp January” or “dry January” as people cut out alcohol from their daily lives. If we moderate our consumption more in November and December, perhaps we all wouldn’t collectively feel the need to quit cold turkey. But Americans in particular love the pendulum swing. One extreme to the other is our game, but is it a long-term formula for winning the game of life? Probably not.

      My meal choices the last two days reflect that of a business traveler. Too many carbs and fat and sodium, too few fruits and vegetables. The only bright spot in my diet is that I haven’t consumed alcohol on this trip. But deep down I know I ought to be exercising more and eating less junk. We usually know what we should be doing, we just don’t always do it. The more we systematize our choices, the easier it is to stick with what we should do.

      We’re all works in progress, but we should remember that every choice is a step in one direction or the other. We either move towards healthier or move away from it. A good routine makes that direction easier to follow.

    • On Action

      “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ”
      ― William James

      There’s nothing more essential to getting to where we’d like to be than a bias towards action. Want to have a better relationship? Earn it with attention. Want to be a better writer? Read, experience the world more and write about it often. Want to be fit? Stop wishing for it and get moving already. We know deep down that the answer is action.

      We can’t close a gap without effort. We can’t climb a corporate ladder or a mountain peak without moving one step at a time higher than we currently are. To open a door previously closed to us, we must first reach the door before we can open it and step through. Take the steps necessary to get there.

      Personally, I have a five year plan for where and who I want to be. To reach that person in that place, there are some clear steps necessary to bring me there. Most essential is taking care of the mind and body that will carry me there. We can work all our days for a goal, but we won’t reach it if we physically slide sideways off the cliff. The rest is identifying the systems, routines and habits essential to getting us to our goals, scheduling and tracking them from now until the end. We’re building a lifestyle of active participation, not just reaching some summit.

      How we want to live is as essential to ask ourselves as who we want to be. We may never close the gap fully, but a lifestyle built making ourselves better than we were yesterday is inherently optimistic and happier than one built trying to hold on to the pieces of who we once were. Be a builder instead. What is the gap and what are the steps necessary to close it? Once it’s all laid out for us, the rest is taking that first step and following with the next.

    • Unfailing and Habitual Consistency

      “Remember we wrote in Good to Great that big things happen by pushing on a giant, heavy flywheel. You start pushing in an intelligent and consistent direction, and after a lot of work you get one giant, slow, creaky turn, but you don’t stop. You keep pushing and you eventually get two turns and four and sixteen and thirty-two and sixty-four and one hundred and one thousand; pushing; cumulative, consistent momentum; and at one point it’s one hundred thousand and then a million turns in that flywheel. Big things happen because you do a bunch of little things supremely well that compound over time. This is what we learned. We see tremendous consistency in any truly great enterprise. The signature of mediocrity is not an unwillingness to change—although, and we’ll get to this, if you don’t change, you become irrelevant—but the true signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency.” — Jim Collins

      If the signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency, then the signature of personal excellence (Areté) is unfailing and habitual consistency. It’s staying to task, every day until something more essential to our being becomes our task. Blogging every day is pushing the flywheel. So is exercise and changing the engine oil and washing the dishes and doing the most tedious-but-essential things in our chosen path. We do these things not because they’re always joyful, but because they are part of our identity today and ensure that we continue from here to our future identity. The opposite of order is chaos.

      There were several times writing this blog that I thought it would be my last post. There’s so many things to do, and beginning each morning with writing delays some other essential habits from forming. But the writing has taken me to places I hadn’t anticipated when I began, and the path forward looks promising. That’s not a reason not to question the flywheel I happen to be pushing (who wants to run around in circles for nothing?), but to embrace the process of becoming what’s next that the writing offers. The trick is to stack other positive habits into this routine to ensure success. The writing isn’t pushing me away, it’s those other habits that need attention that are pulling.

      Systems and routines are our salvation or an albatross. We are what we do. We must therefore keep pushing.

    • The Quest for Better

      “Let me start with issuing you a challenge: Be better than you are. Set a goal that seems unattainable, and when you reach that goal, set another one even higher.” — Herb Brooks

      Wishes are nice. When my daughter asks me what my wish is on any given occasion for such things, my answer is always “world peace” because it’s as good a wish as any, and better than most. The short answer is, I don’t wish for things, I plan (too often over-plan) and I take steps towards them. Planning and deliberate action are better than wishes.

      Resolutions are nice. I don’t make them, because I would always break them. Instead I see the person I want to be, identify what that person would be doing every day to reach further than that point and I start adding those routines to my own calendar. As a streak hitter, I know streaks are made to be broken eventually. I try to string together as many days as possible on any desired trait and track it in a journal. Writing has surpassed five years every day and counting. Some other habits aren’t holding up as well. Each informs and I restart every day with the best intentions fueled by a desire for better than I currently am. How about you? What gets you beyond the resolution rut?

      Experiences are the currency now. Doing things I wouldn’t have done a few years ago. Even thinking to do things is a step beyond the more insular world I once inhabited. Each stage of life brings with it a new set of priorities. Prepare better meals. Speak a second or third language better than yesterday. Experience something entirely new each week. Pretty soon that calendar is full of interesting leaps forward. Pretty soon we’ve become that person we thought unattainable. And the quest for better begins anew.

    • On Time

      “Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely.” — Jim Rohn

      We have an extra day added to the calendar this year. Leap Year and all that. What will we do with one more? Each day in the books is one less, if you look at it a certain way, or one more, if you look at it another way. Do we look at the scarcity of time left or the abundance of experiences we’ve accumulated along the way?

      Perhaps the answer is to be aware of the time going by and to be deliberate in our use of it. Wasting less time by utilizing it better. That’s a good reason to make goals and focus on productivity, but the root of each ought to be a resounding answer to the question, “how do I want to use my time?”

    • Counting Wins

      “Give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths.” — Epictetus

      And so we begin again. If a human life is marked by the sum of our days, then this day is our opportunity to launch into something greater than we were in our previous days. A new year is just the same as a new day: it’s all the same on our march forward. What counts is the march to better. What matters is following through one step at a time to the end of our days.

      The trick is to focus on the strengths we wish to develop in ourselves. The weaknesses are what we tend to resolve to change. This leads to frustration and failure. Where’s the fun in that? We all know deep down which resolutions are doomed to fail. They’re the ones without a compelling why and the simplicity of routine. What is more routine than doing the little things every day?

      Epictetus had it right. We must decide which kind of character we want to construct first. Who do we want to be? What is the price that closes the gap between that person and the person contemplating change? There will be days for leaping, but we ought to begin with what we’ll call a win when everything is upside down and failure is in the air. What counts as a win each day?

      I’m a streak hitter. I publish every day to keep this streak alive, just like every other positive habit. There are days when it’s the bare minimum, there are days when it’s a lot more, but it’s always something. That’s one example of paying the price every day, and a small win that keeps the momentum going. It’s become a strength simply in the doing.

      That gap isn’t closed with a leap. It’s closed by filling in the gap. One small win at a time.

    • Intentions vs. Routines

      “You don’t make art out of good intentions.” ― Gustave Flaubert

      Our routines and systems determine what we produce. I write every day to see what will come of it. Sometimes I use a writing prompt, other times I write of experiences I’ve had, and still other times I start typing until something tangible ends up on the page (deleting the nonsense that led me to it). Nothing great comes to us until we meet it at least halfway. Sometimes a lot more than halfway. And sure; we don’t always reach great…. But we do reach.

      Some days we are able to stick rigidly to our routine, some days we stray or are pulled from it. The trick is to get back on track as soon as the opportunity presents itself. This applies equally well to exercise, flossing, daily chores and yes, blogging. Do the things that must be done in the time you create for it. If we don’t create the time, then it isn’t the priority we say it is.

      Life is more complicated than that, of course. It’s not always about the stray—sometimes it’s the pull as other things take priority. But one day we’ll be pulled from it all like every artist, writer and poet who’s come before us. Knowing this, we ought to keep at it while we can. Stick with the routine and do the work that matters most now.