Alexandersmap

    Category: Learning

    • Imaging Order

      “I would warn you that I do not attribute to nature either beauty or deformity, order or confusion. Only in relation to our imagination can things be called beautiful or ugly, well-ordered or confused.” — Baruch Spinoza

      The world may feel chaotic. Spinoza suggests that much of what we feel is stirred up from within—derived from our own perspective on things. It follows that we may find order in chaos with clear thinking and a calm mind.

      This year has felt chaotic for me, and perhaps for you too. In the craziest of times, it may not feel appropriate to slow down, but that’s exactly what we need the most. Order depends on us to root itself into something solid. Let that be our way of thinking about the world and our place in it. Imagine order and help it find it’s own foundation, that it may grow.

      In this way, we change the world from chaotic to something more beautiful. We are the line in the sand, standing our ground. A windbreak in the swirling madness. It may sting at times, but we guarantee a more stable future through our attitude and resilience.

    • The Emotional Landscape

      “When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master.”
      — Baruch Spinoza

      The journey to personal excellence moves through an emotional landscape. To keep one’s head, to choose one’s reaction to any stimulus, moves us closer to mastery of the mind. Like arete, we will never reach mastery in anything, but we may move closer than we thought possible on our climb.

      Is it a climb or a labyrinth of our own making? Sometimes, when we feel like we’re walking around in circles, it feels very labyrinth-like. But have a glance at just how far we’ve ascended as we build our lives, one lesson upon the other. Keep calm and carry on, the British Ministry of Information would say in the darkest of times of World War II. And so must we in our own time

      “The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.” — Baruch Spinoza

      Amor fati. Love of fate. We work towards mastery of the self despite the present madness we believe we’re in. There’s always been madness, meanness and unfairness. As Viktor Frankl reminded us, choosing how we react to the world as it presses upon us from all sides, while also trying to eat at us from within, is the only thing we truly control.

    • Anchored Here and Now

      “All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant.” — Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      I find myself writing from a state of hyper-awareness of change. Scroll through old photo albums and decades worth of digital images representing the lives of those who have passed and we realize that change is the constant in our lives. That and the tight circle of fellow travelers we call family and friends, all working to make sense of this dynamic advancement into the future as we ourselves are. There we were, here we are, and there we go.

      The only thing to do in a changing world is to anchor into something solid. Anchors are often disguised as ritual and habit. Often it’s the very people and place that we take for granted as we move through time. That favorite café we get our liquid energy at. The bookstore we wander through when the day feels chaotic. The playlist we return to when we need a lift. A solid anchorage looks different for each of us, but serves the same purpose: keeping us grounded in something tangible when change is swirling all around us.

      If I may offer some unsolicited advice as we navigate a lifetime together, it’s to take more pictures with those fellow travelers we encounter in our todays. Tomorrow will find us wanting more reminders of what was. A photograph is an anchorage locked in amber, reminding us of how much those people staring back at us meant to us in the moment. Document names and places as a gift to those who will one day scroll through our lives in images, wondering just what those people are trying to tell them about our moment.

      We know we can’t stay anchored forever. Life advances, and so must we. We may adapt and grow into what’s next, with a firm sense of who we are and where we’ve been. With an eye on the adventures yet to come.

    • Doing Our Damndest

      “Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

      Every day is another stack of life lessons. It’s all a blur—a rapidity of memories rushing past. Right to the end. And to borrow from Vonnegut again, so it goes.

      I shake my head at all the books I’ve read trying to find answers to life’s questions. Philosophy, business, poetry, history, a taste test of the world religions, biographies of the greats, and that lumpy guilty pleasure category that I shudder to think about as I get older, self-help. What we consume comes to consume us. So we ought to make it as nutritious as possible.

      Looking back on a list of goals I stumbled across from three decades ago, I saw that I’d accomplished some, I’d thrown others onto the pile of “not in this lifetime”, and one or two still gnaw at my soul, awaiting my attention. In this way, I’m like everyone else who’s ever lived long enough to see the past receding into the distance. If we’re lucky, we’ll reach the end feeling like we’ve done enough.

      Enough. What is enough anyway? It’s a question that rises up within as we get older. Is this enough or should we do more still? Just when are we going to slow down and enjoy where we are now? We can’t possibly do everything, we can only decide what to be and do our damndest to be it. Maybe we’re already there.

    • Changing Tunes

      Don’t worry about a thing
      ‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
      — Bob Marley & The Wailers, Three Little Birds

      I was reading an old journal I wrote when I was separating from my first wife (a long, long time ago). Honestly, I’d forgotten that I’d written it, let alone kept it, and forgotten who that guy was who was struggling with that moment. Thanks for the reminder, I guess. We remember the lowest moments, but not always the daily slog through the darkness.

      If I could go back to that guy and tell him anything, it would be to stop listening to Pearl Jam’s “Black” and listen to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” instead. Because everything would be all right, as soon as I stepped out of that miserable cycle of a failing marriage and stepped towards the uncertainty of a far brighter future. We all go through our share of crap. Why swim in it any longer than we absolutely have to? Move on to brighter days.

      Within a few months everything changed for me. I’m still riding that wave of brighter days all these years later. I just needed to find the right person to spend forever with. And realize that every little thing was gonna be alright. Sometimes we just have to change our tune to a better soundtrack for the place we wish to go to.

    • Life is Conditional

      Can you hear me?
      That when it rains and shines
      It’s just a state of mind
      Can you hear me?
      — The Beatles, Rain

      Up and out early this morning for all the wrong reasons, the rain was pouring down in sheets. Hydroplaning was an issue, and the ride out and back again was stressful. Rain and driving is completely different from rain and sipping coffee while listening to it tap on the roof and windows. Place matters when it rains.

      So too does state of mind, as John Lennon reminded us in one of my favorite Beatles songs. Our attitude is everything, in all things. Can you hear me? Well, most everything. The rain doesn’t care a lick what our attitude is, and we ought to be grounded in reality if we hope to thrive (or survive) the current circumstances.

      Amor fati (Love of fate). Life is conditional, after all. We don’t have to love the weather or the people currently in power or the performance of our favorite sports team, but we should accept it for what it is. This is our fate. Denial is a prison sentence for the weakest of minds. Accept what is and decide how to react. Rain or shine, whatever will be will be. The question is, what are we to do now?

    • Our Ever After

      “Whoever is too well off always wants to try something different!” — Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, The Mouse, the Bird, and the Sausage

      This strange little fairy tale about a bird, mouse and a sausage living together is undeniably odd (beginning with the sausage), yet it carries important lessons. When did we stop paying attention to the lessons? Adults always forget them, which is why the world feels that it’s a step or two away from disaster. Yet somehow we carry on anyway.

      For those inclined not to follow random links in blog posts, the lesson is essentially the quote above. And maybe to not let your sausage friend wander around in the woods. Or to choose friends that aren’t so tasty to others. Really, the lessons are where you find them. But for our purposes, let’s stick with the quote above.

      There’s a whole lot of people who are so comfortable in their lives that they feel compelled to find things to be outraged about. Call it smug indignation if you like. We’ve learn who they are because they’re inclined to tell us just how terrible things are. Life is outrageous. Life is unfair. Don’t we deserve better than this?

      Life will eat us alive one day (Memento mori). We ought to know that by now. Just what are we going to do about it? It’s all a matter of focus. Instead of scarcity and unfairness, why not try gratitude for what is going well for us today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. If we arrive there to see it.

      Being grateful and content with where we are is something we grow into as we experience life. The restlessness of our youth may be replaced by the wisdom of our age. At least if we stop listening to talking heads telling us how outraged we ought to be. Life is nothing but a big fairy tale. We believe the stories we want to believe, and that largely determines whether we’ll live happily ever after. In case anyone missed the lesson, our ever after is largely up to us.

    • Everything, Forever

      Turn, turn, my wheel! All things must change
      To something new, to something strange;
      Nothing that is can pause or stay;
      The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
      The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
      The rain to mist and cloud again,
      To-morrow be to-day.
      — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Kéramos

      I considered yesterday an ending of sorts, which infers that today would be a beginning. But it feels like more of the same. Life is change, but that change is so constant and incremental that it feels like every day is the just like the one before. Have a look around and we know the truth. Nothing is the same. Beginning with our perspective. We’ve simply moved to a newer place from which to assess our perch.

      Still, nothing is the same, nor will be again. We live and learn and grow, and tomorrow will be today, and then it will be no more but a memory of yesterday. The lesson? Our opportunity is always at hand. Don’t look so far ahead. We are where we are, and everything forever is right here awaiting our attention.

      All things must change. Beginning with us. Rise to meet it.

    • The Right Choice

      “If you feel like you’ve got a close call between quitting and persevering, it’s likely that quitting is the better choice.” — Annie Duke

      When we say that we listen to our gut, or trust our instincts, do we really? What is our gut telling us right now? Chances are our head will intervene and direct us right back to the logical path. Logical is what the brain is supposed to choose.

      But what if the gut was right all along?

    • Everything Matters

      “Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest in the numbing of our souls.” — Epictetus

      I made the mistake of reading a work email this morning before writing the blog. It was sent at midnight last night by a senior leader in the company, asking a follow-up question about a meeting last week. It lingers in my mind for having not followed up immediately, and so I gently nudge it over to the side, where it will distract me until acted upon.

      Mondays should not be soul-crushing events. No day should crush the soul, but especially the beginning of our work week. We choose how we react to the forces coming at us. Monday will come and go just like any other day in our deck of days. Shuffle them up, dump them out and have a look—they’re all roughly the same. Do with them what we will.

      That doesn’t mean each of our days aren’t special. They’re all miracles of chance, after all. We ought to see that gift for what it is and seek answers for our series of questions. Who are we? What will become of us next? Where did I put my car keys?

      Our deck of available days shrinks in size as our deck of experience grows. That thing that’s nagging at us to get done in one aspect of our life is distracting us from excelling in some other thing. That great memory over the weekend offers a happy glow to warm the first task of the work week. It’s all connected, it’s all the sum of our days and influences the balance available to us. The answer is to keep raising the average by adding better days to our deck to balance the more challenging ones.

      For the last few months I’ve been going to physical therapy on my ankle. I’ve seen encouraging improvement on the ankle, but noticed in the treatment that their focus on the ankle has expanded beyond it to the rest of my leg and my back alignment. We know intuitively that it’s all connected, but sometimes we need someone to show us how the tightness in one place is related to the injury in the other. Everything matters.

      Knowing that, just how does it change our perspective on today?