Alexandersmap

    Category: Learning

    • Someone New

      The new world is as yet
      behind the veil of destiny
      In my eyes, however
      its dawn has been unveiled
      ― Allama Iqbal

      I’m reading a comprehensive history of the European theater of World War II at the moment, which describes in unblinking clarity the horrific reality that millions of people had imposed upon them. When we know history, we understand that luck plays a big part in the quality of our lives. If you’re reading this you likely hit the same birth lottery I did of living in a place and time where we may control much of our lives. To know how lucky we are and not take full advantage of the opportunity seems disrespectful.

      We know that we actualize our destiny through action, but it all begins with a dream. We’re molding the future version of us as we navigate the developing current version. Character is layered upon us by the universe and how we react to it. The path we choose to navigate towards shapes our future self. Our new world awaits our arrival.

      Some days the changes roll through us at a dizzying pace. Other days it feels like we’re never going to do anything but daydream about a better tomorrow. Try to be patient, I tell myself, for this character will get to that place one day. Everything will change again and again, as it must, and we grow into someone new with every turn. The trick is to be grateful for the opportunity and make the most of our days on our journey to becoming.

    • Learning to Fly

      “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
      — Kurt Vonnegut

      A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
      Condition grounded but determined to try
      Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
      Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I
      — Pink Floyd, Learning to Fly

      Any self-respecting rock n’ roll fan knows that there are a few songs with the title Learning to Fly, and I love them all. We can argue about which gets your heart rate racing more, or any such thing like that, but for my money Pink Floyd’s song is the best of the bunch lyrically. Foo Fighters fans and Tom Petty aficionados might quibble, and the shear number of covers of Petty’s song indicate popular opinion on the matter, but there: I’ve said it. And yes, I digress.

      To master anything in this life we must at some point leap into the unknown and find out how we fare. Mostly we fall on our face in those early days. We either quit and play another game or we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get to it again. Even writing that I felt the overpowering cliche of familiar metaphor wash over me (sorry). But if the metaphor fits, use it.

      The whole point of this game is discovery. Try everything, learn which things work well for us and lean into them with gusto. With enough leaps we become adept at adaptation. Sure, some people have more talent than us, but persistence matters too. Skills may be learned. The rest is just breaking through the mind games of categorization and imposter syndrome. The fact is, some people will always put us in a certain bucket (people like that don’t do things like this), but mostly we do it to ourselves first. Just go do it and be ready for the stumble (see metaphor above).

      I write this knowing that there’s some new cliff I’ll need to jump off sooner or later, that I may learn to fly yet again. Life is a succession of such cliffs, and we may grow a pair or live with being ground-based creatures. We all feel like earth-bound misfits in the beginning of anything new. There’s only one way to soar though, and so we must toe up to the edge and lean into the next. It’s the only way we’ll ever fly.

    • Slaying Dragons and Devils

      “My friends, it is wise to nourish the soul, otherwise you will breed dragons and devils in your heart.” — Carl Jung, The Red Book

      It’s amazing what a few days off will do for the body and soul. Removing oneself from the daily grind mitigates the possibility that we might be ground to dust. The old Cherokee expression about the wolf you feed comes to mind. We either succumb to the darkness within or climb to the light.

      I know deep down that I write to feed the soul and slay the dragons. The daily blog is merely evidence that the journey continues for at least another day. I might have climbed mountain summits or run after a 5K t-shirt collection instead, but no, it’s the writing that got a hold of me. That doesn’t make me a one trick pony, just curiously focused on publishing a few paragraphs each day.

      There’s nothing wrong with trying a diverse range of pursuits to see where they may take us. There’s nothing wrong with work for that matter. The soul knows when we’re on the right path and when we’ve gone astray. But we must ask ourselves regularly, what occupies us? If it’s not nourishing us, we must change our diet. Sip enough poison and you begin to love the taste, and worse, begin to serve it to others.

      The thing is, the pursuit we choose is merely our way of reaching closer towards our own truth. And the truth is, we’re all running against both the clock and our worst inclinations. We must ignore the roar of the dragon and listen for the whisper of the soul, increasing its volume through regular practice until our purpose is loud and clear.

    • An Education of the Heart

      “A novel worth reading is an education of the heart. It enlarges your sense of human possibility, of what human nature is, of what happens in the world. It’s a creator of inwardness.” ― Susan Sontag

      Reading a great book is a lot like getting into the zone during a meaningful project or in a great workout. Time flies by as you literally devour the moment. And in each case we arrive on the other end transformed.

      As usual, I’m balancing multiple books at the same time. Page-turners I blow through, compelling history, philosophy, and so on. But some books are just a heavier read than others. For better or worse I buy a lot of these, jump right in, and find myself having to put them aside now and then for a breath of fresh air. But I usually come back (finish what you started and all that). That old expression about life being too short to read a bad book? I often finish those too.

      Each volume in our physical or virtual library becomes a part of us. It’s not our full story, for we must write our own odyssey, but each volume offers a picked up piece that contributes to our puzzle. The more pieces, the more complex and interesting the final picture.

    • The Way

      “The way is within us, but not in Gods, nor in teachings, nor in laws. Within us is the way, the truth, and the life. Woe betide those who live by way of examples! Life is not with them. If you live according to an example, you thus live the life of that example, but who should live your own life if not yourself? So live yourselves...
      Who knows the way to the eternally fruitful climes of the soul? You seek the way through mere appearances, you study books and give ear to all kinds of opinion. What good is all that? There is only one way and that is your way.” — Carl Jung, The Red Book

      There is no book that will show us our way, books merely serve as an example of how those before us navigated the world. But we are the sum of all who came before us, no matter how beautiful or ugly that human history is, and knowing how to navigate a similar river of time they traversed might help us avoid hitting the rocks they hit in their time. There are lessons in the swirling waters of history that may be learned and relied upon for insight. Still, this is our way.

      We all have our compass heading to our true north. The conditions are what they are, the navigational hazards life throws at us may impede a direct route to that which calls to us, but we may still find the course through life that works for us. We simply have to avoid being foundered on the rocks before we get there. Simple… sure. Human history is full of people who couldn’t clear the rocks of their time, yet we exist in our time because it’s equally full of those who found a way.

      There’s no staying put, for stasis is decay. Knowing we must go forward, what sets our compass? We are surrounded by forces that influence our direction but ultimately it’s up to us to set it and go. Examples show us what is possible (and what is not), and fate will surely play its hand, but our own voice is telling us where our actions will take us next.

    • Trying to Be Good

      “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
      ― Ira Glass

      Over the weekend I replaced a door that had been bothering me for some time. As with everything, it began with a small project (add a deadbolt!) that became a big project when I made a mistake that couldn’t be fixed (measure twice, drill once). No instructions or template and an educated guess proven terminally (for the old door) incorrect. That accelerated the need for a new door, which led to a few more mistakes along the way that needed to be fixed before the door was finally, blessedly, installed. A one hour project became a six hour project. That’s what happens when skills don’t meet the standard we set for ourselves.

      It takes time to close the gap between where our standards are set and the quality of the work we produce at present. I know intuitively that I’m a better writer than I was five years ago, and remain hopeful that the writer I might be in five more years is even better. The daily blog is penance paid to the craft. Without daily effort, our skills atrophy.

      The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with having a high standard. We must aspire to greatness in our lives, that we may grow. The trick is to stay patient with ourselves during the process of becoming. Mistakes are inevitable and often expensive, for there’s an opportunity cost in everything we do. We must remind ourselves that the price paid today is an investment in our future self and simply work through it.

    • The Gods Wait

      your life is your life
      don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
      be on the watch.
      there are ways out.
      there is a light somewhere.
      it may not be much light but
      it beats the darkness.
      be on the watch.
      the gods will offer you chances.
      know them.
      take them.
      you can’t beat death but
      you can beat death in life, sometimes.
      and the more often you learn to do it,
      the more light there will be.
      your life is your life.
      know it while you have it.
      you are marvelous
      the gods wait to delight
      in you.
      — Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart

      I revisited some old characters this week. Some were people I hadn’t seen in some time, met with lunch in between us and life’s hurdles to compare. Some were characters invented in my head and tapped into flesh on the keyboard. Like the people I had lunch with, I haven’t visited with them in some time and there’s a chance I might not see them again anytime soon. We live the life we invest ourselves into. The gods wait to delight in you.

      I’ve become my father in some ways. I don’t check in with the kids as much, but I’m there for them when they wish to reconnect. I recognize the folly in this through the distance between my father and me before he finally slipped into dementia. Where is the light in our lives but in our children and the person we share our days with? I stay connected in small ways, to let them know I’m thinking of them. My bride has entire text conversations with them that I only hear about as an executive summary. We spend 90% of our time with our children before they leave the house. We must hold on to that remaining 10% for dear life.

      We dance with light in our days or we are wrestled into darkness. We must choose light, and be a source of it for the people in our lives who need it the most. Connection is so hard to maintain when we all have so much to do in our brief time, but it’s the essence of a joyful and meaningful life. When these days are well behind us and all we have are fragile memories of our time together, will we smile at the recollection of the light between us or see the gap? The gods will offer us chances.

    • Lofty Expectations

      “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” — George Santayana

      “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes” – Mark Twain

      On my quest to be a lifetime learner I read a lot of history and philosophy in my spare time. Both subjects teach us that humans are fallible and the mistakes we inevitably make have tragic consequences. We must learn from the past, but mostly we repeat some iteration of it. History informs where societies spin off the tracks, philosophy teaches us how to get back on them. Pity that both subjects are largely ignored by the waves of humanity being told what to think.

      As the “greatest generation” passes and living memory of World War II and the Great Depression before it increasingly reside only in history books, it’s disappointing to see pundits twist facts for political gain, and it’s shameful to see learning the truth publicly shamed as woke by those who would have you only believe their words. We’ve been here before friends. We must choose to learn the lessons of history and be the voice of reason, and we must choose to learn the lessons of philosophy that we may find the moral strength to stay the course towards personal excellence, that we may live as an example of what is right in this world and guide others to a brighter future.

      This may seem rather lofty. Aren’t we allowed to have lofty expectations for ourselves and for the generations we coexist with? Would we rather be known as the ones who didn’t rise up when they could have made positive change in the world? History is full of such examples, but fortunately it’s also full of examples of people who pivoted at just the right moment to change the trajectory. I’d like to believe that might be us if we can ever put down the streaming cat videos and pay attention. Learning teaches us to be wary, but also cautiously optimistic. We may still get it right.

    • That Beautiful Moment in Time

      “As soon as a milestone is passed, it’s significance fades, and the focus is shifted to some other marker further down the road. No matter what you do or how satisfying it is in that beautiful moment in time, immediately you want more. You have to, if you want to find out how good you can be.” — Glenn Pendlay

      Watching Olympic athletes perform at the highest levels is inspiring, but it also gives one pause when we consider our own personal best in any comparable activity. The Olympic rowers managed a stroke rate and speed over 2000 meters that I couldn’t imagine in my most fit days, let alone now. The Olympic cyclists just rode 173 kilometers in twice the average speed that I ride 35 kilometers. But comparison is the death of joy, as the saying goes. All that matters is that we are actively improving our own lot and appreciating the work that goes into being elite at any activity.

      Wanting more is natural when we seek to maximize our potential. We must always remember that we’re competing against ourselves, always. What do we wish to excel in? Do we have the physical and mental ability to thrive in that environment? And the most important question of all: What are we willing to sacrifice in our lives to achieve it?

      As Bill Perkins pointed out in his book Die With Zero, we are all given time, health and financial capital in our lifetime. We rarely have the optimal amount of all three at any given time. The key to a great life is to optimize the currency we have in any stage of life. When we’re young we have time and health but usually not much money. When we’re in the middle of our careers we don’t seem to have much time even as we begin to accumulate more money. And of course when we’re old we have time and hopefully enough money to enjoy the time but may not have the health and fitness we had when we were younger. We ought to consider those three currencies we’re all given in our lifetime when weighing when and what to focus on.

      So what are the milestones we’ve reached in our lives? What is the next milestone, given our base level of fitness, time and financial freedom to go after those goals? Don’t we wonder as we clear one milestone after another just how good can we be? If achieving each milestone offers us our unique beautiful moment in time, doesn’t the pursuit of personal excellence—arete—become every more compelling as we climb?

    • Combinations

      “I’m not the best writer, but it is a strength. I might be a 90th percentile writer.
      And I’m not the best marketer, but it is a strength. Again, maybe 90th percentile? I’m better than most, but if you pass 100 people on the street it won’t be hard to find some people better than me.
      What I have gradually learned is that it is not your strengths, but your combination of strengths that sets you apart. It is the fact that writing and marketing are mutually reinforcing—and that I enjoy both—that leads to great results.
      How can you combine your strength? That’s something I would encourage everyone to think about. You will find talented people in every area of life. It’s the combinations that are rare.”
      — James Clear, 3-2-1 Newsletter, 4 July 2024

      We thrive when our unique set of developed skills and natural talents come together at the right place and time for us to leverage them fully. And the rest of the time we’re simply figuring things out. We know when our timing is right, because it all seems to fall into place for us as if by magic. Everything else in our life is incremental growth or gradual decline. It’s up to us to choose daily routines that move us in the right direction even when the timing isn’t right for our unique combinations to thrive in a maddening world.

      I remind my daughter (and myself) to write every day because muscle memory matters. Writing every day helps us find combinations of ideas and words that we otherwise might not have found. We never know when the timing is going to be just right for our combinations, only that we must be ready to seize the moment when it arrives. When you’re young if feels like you can push off the writing for tomorrow when the muse isn’t whispering in your ear today, but it doesn’t work like that. The cruelest twist in our creative life is that it’s got a timer. We must therefore use the time we have as best we can.

      “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” — Chinese Proverb

      Most of us will go through our lives doing work that is good enough to get by but never really takes off. Perhaps the answer isn’t in the work but that we’ve put the puzzle together incorrectly. Most jigsaw puzzles have pieces that seem to fit in one place but on further review aren’t where they’re supposed to be. Once we finally see that and move those pieces to where they belong we may finally solve the puzzle. And so it is with our own combinations of skills and talents. We know when they’re not being used in the right place. Still, we must use them until we find the right combination.

      The way to unlock the puzzle is to take stock of our strengths and begin to try new combinations, that we may find the ones that work. To be forever locked up in our untapped potential is no way to go through life. Like that jigsaw puzzle, stubbornly holding on to things that clearly aren’t working will leave us with an unfinished project or worse, an unfulfilled life.

      The thing to remember about puzzles is that they’re meant to be solved. Unlike jigsaw puzzles, we humans are forever making new pieces of our identity that may be just the right combination we were looking for. So it is that we must continue to develop new experiences and skills that may be applied to our life’s work. There’s a time and place for everything. Just keep working on those combinations.