Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • Let Go, and Let’s Go!

      “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” — Deepak Chopra

      If the opposite of chaos is order, then if follows that living an orderly life—what we may call our ordinary life—leads to more of the same. We find ourselves in a comfortable state and remain there, sometimes for years, until something changes. That change may feel chaotic, because it has disrupted what was our status quo. A rapid decline in health, job loss, death of a loved one, a politician who represents all that we feel is wrong in the world ascending to power—each represents rapid change dressed in what feels like chaos. What was orderly now feels chaotic. What’s so great about that?

      When chaos sweeps over us because of things out of our control, we feel the full weight of that change. It follows that it’s far better to implement change than to have change implemented upon us. The time to implement change is when things feel quite ordinary and rather comfortable. We must learn to introduce chaos to our routine far sooner than we’d like to. But it doesn’t have to feel chaotic if we change soon enough. It simply feels like a small step in a different direction. Repeat that step enough times and extraordinary things may happen. And what is extraordinary but a place far beyond ordinary?

      Ah, but this frenetic world we live in doesn’t always have the patience to wait for our precious habit formation to take shape. Fortune favors the bold, as they say. The alternative to incremental change may be to jump right into the deep end far sooner than we may be comfortable with. But what is comfort but an embrace of the status quo? Everything changes, including us.

      To change one’s life:
      1. Start immediately.
      2. Do it flamboyantly.
      3. No exceptions.
      — William James

      The thing is, we all die eventually (Memento mori). But why die incrementally, watching our lives erode, when we may boldly take the reigns on building a better life despite (and through) all the changes? Bold is immediate, it’s viewed as flamboyant, and it leads us to exceptional. The best way to remove a bandaid is to rip it right off. The moment of shock will wear off, and we adjust to the new normal. To embrace the chaos that ensues in rapid change is to align with Friedrich Nietzsche’s famous phrase, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”.

      Seek stronger. Making chaos ordinary is nothing but embracing change as it comes. More, it’s being an agent of change in our own lives through deliberate action. Deciding what to be and going on to be it, again and again. Just think of the exciting stories we may write as bold change agents surfing the chaos of a lifetime, right to the end. Let go, and let’s go!

    • Forget About It

      “To get rid of what is passed on to you, you have to develop a forgettory instead of a memory.” — Alan Watts

      I have a series of regrets in my life that I think about now and then. Some are big, like not looking both ways before I tried to run across the street at the age of 10*. Ouch. Some are relatively silly, like not mentioning The Wall is my favorite Pink Floyd album when having a conversation about best albums with some wine-sipping chuckleheads I have a high regard for. One regret changed my life (and could have ended it), while the other changed how I remember that night with the chuckleheads. I may also regret picking up that word chucklehead too, but here it is again.

      We ought to remember some regrets for the lessons they offer, so we don’t make the same mistake again. And we ought to forget others, as carrying them with us for eternity detracts from the experience of living now, as opposed to living in the past. The past ain’t coming back, friend. The only way is forward. We can meet there one day, and talk of our plans for the future.

      Don’t get me wrong—there’s great value in memory. It’s our life, after all, and we are the sum of all those memories brought to life when we reflect on them. But we can’t forget to live today as we play our greatest hits and biggest flops in our heads. Life is unfolding ahead, awaiting our attention. So forget about it and focus on what’s possible today. Just be sure to look both ways before crossing the street.

      • – If memory serves me well, a big anniversary of that run-in with a car is coming soon.

    • Cats and Dogs

      There are people out there who love cats, and people who love dogs. I know some say that there are people who love cats and dogs equally, but they’re just saying that to be contrarians. That’s like saying you like all Girl Scout cookies the same when we all know there’s only one truly great cookie (Samoas, now known as Caramel deLites solely for the delight of the Girl Scouts marketing department).

      So why can’t we love both cats and dogs the same? Because they’re completely opposites. Dogs are ruled by affection first, and the stomach second. With cats, the stomach rules all. Any signs of affection are meant to cater favor for more food, and of course to lower our guard that they may gouge our eyes out. Never lower your guard with a cat. I believe it’s the only reason I still have my eyes to see just how manipulative these furry eating machines really are.

      We have a cat and a dog. The dog lives in constant fear of the cat, as cats are inclined to have it. The cat walks around knocking things over, scratching furniture and people, and looking for snacks (not necessarily in that order). The cat knows that I’m on to her trickery, and works to separate me from the herd, that I may be murdered in the night. She’s been working on the dog to be an accomplice, and angrily voices her displeasure that the pup would rather just snuggle with us, as a proper pet does.

      Since the cat hasn’t figured out how to take me out immediately, she’s doing it slowly by messing with my sleep score. Each night she waits until I slip into REM and then pounces on my feet to wake me up. Each morning she stealthily climbs atop the nightstand at eye level and begins meowing an hour before I generally get up. For those keeping score, that’s in the 4:30 AM range. We begin a ritual of pushing her off the nightstand, having her climb back up to be pushed away again, until sleep is no longer an option.

      My helpful bride, one of those people who says that they love dogs and cats the same, set up an automatic feeder to pour some dry cat food into a metal dish timed to release the food before the cat starts her morning wake up ritual. In theory this is a great idea. Right. Instead, the cat scrambles from her sleep position between us to get to that bowl in seconds. And that scrambling? You guessed it, it happens right across my, uh, midsection. Which does wonders for my sleep score.

      I mention all of this because I am not one of those people who say they love cats and dogs the same. I’m firmly on one side of this debate. In fairness to our two pets, I won’t mention which side I’m on. I do try very hard not to make it obvious. But seriously, they’re both a joy to have in our lives… in their own ways.

    • The Nature of a Sunbeam

      We speak of the sun’s light as “pouring down on us,” as “pouring over us” in all directions. Yet it’s never poured out. Because it doesn’t really pour; it extends. Its beams (aktai) get their name from their extension (ektainesthai).
      To see the nature of a sunbeam, look at light as it falls through a narrow opening into a dark room. It extends in a straight line, striking any solid object that stands in its way and blocks the space beyond it. There it remains—not vanishing, or falling away.
      That’s what the outpouring—the diffusion—of thought should be like: not emptied out, but extended. And not striking at obstacles with fury and violence, or falling away before them, but holding its ground and illuminating what receives it.
      What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.
      — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

      The first day of April is often thought of as April Fool’s Day. That can be fun or tedious, depending on how one thinks about trickery and which side of the prank we find ourselves on. At the risk of being overly serious, I think I’ll sit this one out and reread a favorite book instead.

      It’s April, and that brings us to the birth month of Marcus Aurelius. Perhaps that means more to me than to you, and that’s okay. But consider the nature of the man through the work that extends through time to us. The man transmitted light.

      And what of us? What do we transmit in our daily lives? Are we like sunbeams, extending hope and beauty and love as far as we can reach, or are we blocking the light from entering altogether? We must be active illuminators, friends, if we are to leave any room we enter better for our having been there. The nature of a sunbeam is to extend into the darkest reaches to bring light to these places too. Consider that a mission if you like, just to see how bright we can make the world this day.

      Have a look at the night sky sometime. Do we focus on the dark void or the stars? We are inclined towards light, for this is where life is sustained. We may choose to be light transmitters ourselves, and thus sustain life in the most inhospitable times. Isn’t it nice to shine a light on others, instead of shadow? Unlike darkness, light reflects when it reaches a surface. And the life we save may indeed be our own.

    • This Vessel

      “Do good, bestow kindness, strive for beauty, seek and find the river that leads to life everlasting, and draw from the fountain that never runs dry.” ― Allen Levi, Theo of Golden

      I needed a beautiful book for travel. As with people, beauty is not the outside sleeve, but rather that which is hidden within. Theo of Golden is such a book. The cover is rather ordinary. We must let it unfold page-by-page to get to know the character. This is a book for these angry times.

      We become what we consume, so why consume anger? Why not find a way to drink from a more beautiful stream? We may confront the world with eyes wide open, but also with a full heart and generous soul. Navigating towards a more beautiful life is a daily choice of accepting joyfulness as a natural state. Nurture this nature and watch it grow.

      If this all sounds rather naive, well, so be it. I’ve been there myself, angry and jaded by the state of the world and all that I cannot control. We confront it every day in everything from what the character in the White House just said to the person who just cut us off. These things are outside of us. What we carry within may be a cool stream of consciousness. A joyful life is a deliberate life, carried towards the sublime in this vessel we call our days. Just where is this one carrying us?

    • Leaving a Mark

      “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” — Anthony Bourdain

      Some travel requires a day or two just to get from Point A to Point B and back again. It definitely isn’t always pretty. It’s a mistake to view travel as simply what you do at your destination. Travel is the whole bundle, from booking a trip to unpacking when we return. It took me years to fully realize this.

      I saw a t-shirt while navigating a gift shop a couple of days ago (some of our most treacherous travel). It said, “Scars are tattoos with better stories”. All travel leaves a mark, and maybe a few scars too. The trick is to find the great stories as they unfold.

      I write this a little sorer from my current travel (not yet concluded), both in the creaky parts and in the bank account, but that’s all part of travel too. Travel (to me) is part of living a full life. Perhaps one may live a more full life not traveling anywhere—plenty of people never leave the immediate vicinity of where they were born and eventually die—but that’s not fulfilling for the nomad. We must move to live, and acknowledge all that we encounter on the journey. It becomes part of our story, scars and all.

    • Transformation

      Don’t just learn, experience.
      Don’t just read, absorb.
      Don’t just change, transform.
      Don’t just relate, advocate.
      Don’t just promise, prove.
      Don’t just criticize, encourage.
      Don’t just think, ponder.
      Don’t just take, give.
      Don’t just see, feel.
      Don’t just dream, do.
      Don’t just hear, listen.
      Don’t just talk, act.
      Don’t just tell, show.
      Don’t just exist, live.
      — Roy T. Bennett, Don’t Just

      Spring is the season of transformation, and it has surely been on my mind. Go to places like Disney World or Las Vegas or anywhere where people don’t know your name and you’ll witness people being transformed into someone else. Look in a mirror or inward and you might just see it in yourself.

      We all want to be some better version of ourselves in some way or another. Transformation is our ticket to making our vision a reality. It doesn’t have to be limited to some Jedi character we turn into with a plastic lightsaber and a cape. It can be a compass heading we steer our lives towards. Decide what to be and go be it.

      To be transformed is simply to shift our belief in what is and what will be into something entirely different. We owe it to ourselves to make that shift more inspiring, and dare we believe, more thrilling. To spring forward towards some exciting new idea of what’s possible. Can you see it? What are we waiting for?

    • Too Silent to be Real

      Oh, there was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run
      When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun
      Long before the white man and long before the wheel
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      And many are the dead men
      Too silent to be real
      — Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian Railroad Trilogy

      Isn’t it funny how a song firmly sticks in your head when it has no business being there at that particular moment in your life? I’m about as far from majestic mountains and silent dark forests as one can be, and yet this is my ear worm. I can think of far worse. Welcome to my head Gordon.

      I subscribe to the theory that wherever we are, we ought to be there, and I’d like to believe I’m fully present where I am now, doing what I’m doing, no matter what the soundtrack is playing in the background. Presence is simply awareness and appreciation for the world as it unfolds. And here we are.

      Presence (for me anyway) also demands that we are aware of and appreciate all that brought us here. The sacrifices of previous generations that built the world we currently live in, the people in our lives who have surrounded us with love and inordinate patience, the beauty of the natural environment and the courage of those who defend it against those who would exploit it.

      For all the noise in this maddening world, there is still serenity to be found wherever we are. Writing this obscure little blog post that you’ve somehow finished reading (no doubt to figure out the connection between the lyrics and all that followed), I found the silence I’d been looking for. It was here all along, awaiting my attention. Real is what we focus our attention on. So be here, now.

    • Pattern Breaking

      “If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow — you are not understanding yourself.”
      — Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do

      Breaking from routine creates space through disruption. I write this out of ritual, and yet I am transformed by change simply by being somewhere else than I normally am. Perspective changes because there is change all around us. We can’t help but change as a result.

      That is the power of travel, or job change, or simply deciding that the routine that so firmly established our identity is simply not what we want anymore and forcefully inserting a new routine in place of the old. Pattern breaking begins when we lift our head out of the fog of routine and see where we’d rather go.

      Routine, and the rituals of habit that make up our days, deserves scrutiny. Is this who we have become? Is this where we want to be? What has a greater hold on us than our habits and routine? What leads us to something greater than awareness and the willingness to change?

      Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not insisting that you change, or even that I change. The ask here is simply to be aware of where autopilot is carrying each of us. Beyond that, the choice is ours whether the pattern suits us or not.

    • The Imaginative Life

      “Millions long for eternity who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” — Susan Ertz

      We have enough time. We simply don’t know how to use it. I’ve been accused of being a productivity geek in this blog, but that’s not it. I’m more of a life optimization geek (surely a geek either way). To optimize our time does not require a Franklin Covey planner, a slick new app or some self-help book, it requires a creative imagination and the boldness to set a dream in motion. Move it or lose it applies equally well to our creative use of time as it does our fitness.

      To do something interesting with each day is in our power. So be powerful with thy time. And thy time deserves our most imaginative creativity. When we are imaginative with our days, and string enough creative moments together, we build something special.

      We may choose to be as creative with building a day as we dare—but don’t dare take the opportunity for granted. Each day squandered is lost. Each optimized is a stepping stone to a greater life. Just imagine that.