Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • A Purity of Spirit

      “Why let yourself be so torn and traumatized by the inanity and depravity of the epoch in which you are obliged to live? All of that can only graze your skin; it cannot reach the interior self. The outside world can take nothing from you and cannot unhinge you, as long as you do not allow yourself to be disturbed. The events of your time remain impotent before you, as long as you refuse to take part in them, and the madness of the epoch does not constitute a real danger, as long as you conserve in yourself a purity of spirit.” — Stefan Zweig, Montaigne

      My deep sleep was disrupted initially by the distinctive chime of the aurora app, alerting me to a “critical” possibility of seeing the northern lights if I were to get up that very moment and go out for a peek. I lay there, initially debating the wisdom of rising, but in the end I got up to see what was up in the sky. What was up was a deep overcast blocking any possibility of seeing the northern lights.

      My second round of deep sleep was interrupted by the distinctive scrape of plow on pavement. That overcast was snow moving in, and the town, in a departure from the norm, was working to stay ahead of its accumulation on the roadways. Bravo road crews. What’s gotten into you this late in the game? So much for sleep score excellence. Maybe tonight?

      This morning we rise to meet the day with a fresh blanket of snow across the landscape. For those hoping for spring flowers, this is surely a setback. But we all learn that March doesn’t give a damn about our feelings and does whatever comes naturally. And it turns out that living with a few years of March weather is instructive. The world will do what the world will do, ’tis not for us to decide. All we can control is how we react to it.

      These times may be maddening for those with a sense of right and wrong, but that doesn’t mean one must succumb to madness. Don’t let the bastards drag you down. Seek a purity of spirit by developing a keen awareness of beauty in the world, wisdom to be gathered, and joy to be found. Everything is all around us all at once. We may be forced to witness things we don’t like in the world, we may even lose sleep over the best intentions of others, but in the end we choose what we dwell on.

    • Inconceivably Done

      “We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” — Vince Lombardi

      Catching up with old friends we don’t see so much anymore, we talked about life and its lessons. We’ve learned some things in the years since we were kids figuring things out as we went. Mostly we’ve learned that we’re always going to be figuring things out. That was the lesson all along.

      One of our party has just completed what many would consider inconceivable or maybe insane. She noted the level of indifference she’s experienced by many who simply don’t understand just how hard it’s been to reach her goal or the why behind it. That’s what happens when people do things that are far beyond the imagination of everyone else. Indifference. And there’s a lesson there too.

      Our life goals are our own and nobody else’s. When we attach expectations about how others will react to our life story, we become dependent on those indifferent others for joy. The thing is, when we accomplish something beyond average, it becomes part of our identity forever. Nobody else’s. Those who know, know. And in the end that’s more than enough.

      Writing this blog post every day feels necessary most mornings, but the ritual is mine alone. Whether anyone reads it, or bothers to navigate the archives to see what else I might have to say, is not something I can control. If I start writing blog posts with titles like, “The seven must-see hidden gems in New England” or “10 Proven Shortcuts to the Top” then you’ll know I’ve succumbed to some burning desire for clicks and views. Otherwise it’s simply one day at a time, doing my thing while you do yours. Thanks for reading this far.

      There’s another lesson that comes with experience, whether large or small. We learn what’s possible. If we can do this, just imagine what else we might do next? For life is always built on the previous step. Leaps forward are rare. We mostly just build on who we were towards who we become next. It’s not inconceivable, it’s simply taking one step at a time towards our goals.

      [Congratulations Sue: Doing the inconceivable is truly amazing.]

    • Owning Truth

      “I’d rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.” — Will Rogers

      I once had a dog who would leave the room when my phone notifications chimed. He simply found it unpleasant enough that he would rise up from whatever comfortable position he lay in and walk away. I eventually reached the same conclusion about notifications and turned them all off. The truth is not nagging us to pay attention to it, the truth is quietly present awaiting discovery.

      We are living in a time with a warped sense of right and wrong. The problem is that everyone believes that they’re right. Where are the trusted sources now? We live in our own version of the upside down, built for profit. We would all profit from more time meeting on common ground.

      We must trust, but verify. This often comes down to simply not reacting to everything thrown at us, but carrying it to logical conclusion and contemplation. In magic, sleight of hand (prestidigitation) works through distraction. Sleight of hand also works with lies. In a rapid fire sound bite world seeing the truth in front of us is practically impossible unless we turn off the noise altogether. When we have time to think and see the whole picture, we find our way to our own truth.

    • Through and To

      “Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.” — Blaise Pascal, Pensées

      We are who we are, formed and beaten into our present identity by all that brought us here, and all that holds us here. That which holds us in place offers comfort or stirs resentment, depending on how we feel about where we might go next. We forget sometimes that we are still being carried to the future version of us in the present. That which holds us is mostly the past—that story of us and all that represents us. Maybe it’s just passing scenery on our road to find out, or maybe we’ve been building a foundation for that castle in the sky. The way we look at the past and present matters a great deal, for it colors our view of our future.

      Remember that old expression about the best time to plant a tree being twenty years ago, and the second best time being today? Twenty years ago is dead and gone. Nothing but memories that make us smile or hang our heads. Twenty years from now is nothing but a dream. Plant the seed of that dream today and nurture it towards whomever we may grow into. The roots are our past, anchoring us into something solid. The rest is growth and reaching for the sky. Our great-grandchildren will benefit from our dreams and schemes of today. So what bit of magic will we be our legacy to the future?

      The thing is, all of that is just words unless we shake ourselves free of the illusions of the past and dreams of the future and find awareness today. Each day is growing season for the body, mind and soul. Just what are we planting anyway? In the end, all we’ve ever had was today, growing through and to.

    • The Wealth Beyond Money

      The rich have money.
      The wealthy have time.
      It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      The only thing that matters in a lifespan is time and how we use it. To fritter and waste it in an offhand way is a surefire way to have regrets in the end, when time is gone and the song is over. Knowing this, do what must be done. Be jealous with time, that we may be wealthy beyond our money.

      To be aware and alive is the thing. To capture moments, a one line per day journal is helpful. A five-year journal allows us to see where we were a year or two ago on the same day. Some days are blessedly full of life and experience, while other days are sinfully devoid of anything memorable. Each offers a lesson in what to do with today. Do something, that we at least have something to look back on in future years, noting that this day was not frittered away.

      We get so caught up in looking ahead that we forget to spend our present time wisely. Not every moment is going to be jotted down or photographed or discussed over drinks with friends one day, but to be wealthy in time is to capture moments frequently and creatively than we otherwise would have. It’s all a grand experiment in living, and it’s ours alone to witness start-to-finish.

      We don’t have all the time in the world, but we have enough if we truly use it. Be generous with it, be wise with it, but be there with it. Unlike money, we can’t save it for later. True wealth is the active accumulation of time well spent.

    • Learning to See

      How you learn to see
      The hope eternally
      When you’re sure to leave
      Oh, leave at last
      — The Avett Brothers, Morning Song

      This blog post is being written exactly one hour later than normal, and yet at the same time as yesterday. Someone’s idea of daylight savings time flips the clock forward or backward in their respective seasons, and we all wonder why. Like most foolish rituals, it sticks because some people don’t like change. So here we are once again, changing the clocks and the morning ritual of writing before the madness of the day. What time is it really? It’s time to let go of what was.

      Lately the house has experienced changes. As the days grow longer, the communal vibe felt around the holidays fades further from memory. We often don’t stop our own scramble through the days long enough to feel the changes. Work and family commitments, a relentless winter and the rapidity of a finite life hold our attention. The day-to-day routine feels the same, but there are subtle changes.

      The dog, normally walking effervescent joy, has a look in her eyes that says something is off. Her appetite is off, her walks are more distracted. Something has changed in her mind. And then there’s the cat, normally a little ball of hate around the dog anyway, she’s gone out of her way to express it lately. Is the dog being bullied by the cat? Are they both feeling scarcity of attention and expressing it through their interaction with each other? When exactly did I become a pet psychiatrist? Pets react to change just as we humans do. They’re usually at least one paw ahead of us.

      There are forces larger than ourselves at work in the universe. Take that to mean whatever you want it to mean in your own march to infinity, but to me, some measure of hope begins with stepping away from the self and connecting with others. We are here on this brief dance through time together. Tell me, what do we really see? The changes are within us, seeking expression in the time we are given. Life goes on, and so to must we. One subtle step towards the infinite after the other.

    • Break It Down

      “If you repeated what you did today 365 more times, will you be where you want to be next year?” — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      This week I experienced something called Instrument-Assisted Soft Tissue Mobilization (IASTM), which is a fancy way of saying a highly-trained physical therapist used a chunk of metal to scrape my leg to what felt like a bloody pulp. It turned out there was no blood, just the breaking up of scar tissue accumulated over many stubborn years of telling myself that my ankle would just get better on its own. This procedure helps undo what’s been done through micro-trauma to the scarred areas. It turns out those micro-traumas create a bit of state change in the recipient. Ouch. But also, revelation.

      It’s no secret that small habits, done consistently, change us over time. If the scar tissue in my leg reminded me of anything, its that those bad habits accumulate and develop into things we aren’t even aware of until something jolts us into awareness. For me it was a gimpy ankle. For others it’s far more serious. Like the alien spores in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, bad habits sneak into our lives and change our identity. Don’t let the bastards drag you down! Break down that scar tissue.

      “Looking ahead, focus on direction rather than destinations. Maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.” — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      Dropping two quotes from Kevin Kelly today, but this little book is a gem. It reads like a series of bite-sized tweets, which makes it a natural read for people who stare at a screen more than they should. That’s another habit akin to an alien invasion, creating outrage and depression in people who we used to know. We’re collectively undergoing scarification, and we must find a way to scrape it away from our lives if we hope to hold on to the best of who we are and will become.

      Scar tissue hides within. Awareness of where we are is important, and so too is knowing where we’re going. What small habit, done daily, changes our course from a lesser version of us to a greater? The days will fly by either way, we might as well tune up the body, mind and soul in positive and productive ways. Decide what to be and go be it. Just accept the discomfort of change for what it is—the breaking down of the bad to make room for the good.

    • It’s Going to Melt, Right?

      You know what they say, “March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb”. And this lion is eating me alive. Snow I can live with, but the frozen layers of sleet, snow and graupel that greeted me on the driveway made me question my choices in life. New Englanders everywhere are asking themselves the classic question of March, “should I just wait for it to melt?”

      The alternative to waiting for it to melt with such a mix is to get to work. Snowblowers don’t work on such stuff. One must test the ticker scraping this crap off the pavement with a sturdy shovel inch by inch. Slow and steady wins the race. Happily the ticker is still ticking.

      The thing is, we choose this lifestyle. What is it about me that believes that a clean driveway is all that important this time of year? It’s going to melt in a few days anyway. Right. Alas, I live by the philosophy of a tidy ship. And I wasn’t in the Navy.

      It comes down to mindful work. I cannot control what is happening in the world, I cannot control the rapid physical or mental decline of people in my life, I cannot control much of anything in the universe, but sometimes I can control how clean my driveway is. And generally it looks pretty darn good for a driveway this far north in a legit tough winter. And then Mother Nature reminded us once again who the boss really is.

      These are days when it helps to have perspective. We are gaining twenty minutes of daylight every week. Things are literally getting brighter. Focus on the beauty in the world, not the maddening setbacks to all that was right and good. For this too shall pass, and soon enough the daffodils will rise to greet us once again. Yes, it’s going to melt. Sooner or later… right?

    • But Not Today

      “When you feel like quitting,
      just do five more:
      5 more minutes, 5 more pages,
      5 more steps. Then repeat. Sometimes
      you can break through and keep going,
      but even if you can’t, you ended five ahead.
      Tell yourself that you will quit tomorrow,
      but not today.”
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      This blog continues because I subscribe to the theory of quitting tomorrow, but not today. I’ll write just one more post, and one more again, and soon there’s a streak worthy of consideration when I really don’t feel like it anymore. Those moments are rare, but they happen. Simply kick to tomorrow what ought to be kicked. Today be alive with the task at hand.

      Kelly’s book is a collection of tweetable nuggets like the one above, if one were still to tweet. More to the point, it’s shared wisdom from one cat to the rest of us. We all ought to learn a thing or two and then share it with those who are rising to take our place on the line. We all ought to be aware of our place as a linchpin in the lives of so many who quietly go on with their lives, meaning to tell us one day what we mean to them, but not today. The trick is to not be the one who puts off the important stuff to tomorrow. No regrets—simply do it now.

      We each have work to do. I know I ought to work on being more fluent in French before I go to France. Perhaps today I’ll resume those lessons. I ought to do all of the exercises in my physical therapy program if I hope to see improvement on my gimpy ankle. We know what has to be done. We just put off the wrong thing. Instead of doom-scrolling or binge-watching, do something that we may repeat again tomorrow. Then do it again. It’s simple really. So why hasn’t it caught on more?

    • Something Much Larger

      “Your passions should fit you exactly,
      but your purpose in life should exceed you.
      Work for something
      much larger than yourself.”
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      Some days things larger than ourself grab hold of us and dominate our attention. There have been a lot of such moments this year in my life, and I bet in yours too. We must recognize the moment and meet it. Sometimes it’s just our time to get to work on something far exceeding the self.

      What is purpose but striving toward some worthy goal far beyond the selfish goblin endlessly crying “Me! Me! Me!” between our ears? When we stop paying attention to our ego and start looking for ways to contribute to the far-beyond-us, we learn and grow and become more useful for the universe. And in the process, we become something greater than who we were before.

      The answer is simply to work, not whine. See the need and get to work addressing it. But our call to service is only heard when we shut up and listen to those calls for help. It’s amazing what we can see and hear when we stop singing our own tune long enough to understand what’s being said all around us.