Alexandersmap

    Category: Music

    • The Price of Proximity

      Is your figure less than Greek?
      Is your mouth a little weak?
      When you open it to speak
      Are you smart?
      — Richard Rodgers & Lorenz Hart, My Funny Valentine

      I know a couple who have been married longer than I’ve been alive. When one of them gets tired of each other’s company they turn off their hearing aids so they don’t have to listen to the other. They’ve heard it all before, and how many times does someone have to tell us the same story again anyway? Funny, but they focus on each other when they need to.

      We know couples who stay together out of habit, or obligation, or because they feel it’s better than being alone. We know couples forever in love with life and flying around in each other’s orbit. And love is indeed a wonderful thing, but what is the foundation under all that loftiness? When we decide on a partnership that will last a lifetime, what is more important than listening to what each other has to say? To be a part of the scheme as we follow our dream?

      “The opposite of love’s indifference.” — The Lumineers, Stubborn Love

      To be interested in the life of another for the rest of our lives is the key to a long relationship. That applies to friendship, marriage, business partnerships and pen pals. We may hear the same stories again and again, but that’s the price of proximity. There are precious few days with which we may be together on this march to infinity. So what is it you want to say? I’m listening.

    • Call It Inspiration

      “The composer does not sit around and wait for an inspiration to walk up and introduce itself…Making music is actually little else than a matter of invention aided and abetted by emotion. In composing we combine what we know of music with what we feel.” — George Gershwin

      I once wrestled with time. Once I called it time management, and then productivity, and maybe a few other names along the way. The way itself is time, and within it, we produce something or we do not. It was never really time at all, it was how we use our lives. And how we use our lives is who we are, and who we will become, and how we will be remembered one day.

      That’s a lot of wrestling.

      Perhaps that effort is better applied towards discovery. I write every day to discover what will stroll into the room next. We go back and forth a bit, I takes notes as quickly as I can, and the muse exits once again. Who saw that coming? And thanks for the, uh, time.

      Yesterday I finished a delightful book I’d never have read but for the fact that I said yes to it at the exclusion of a lot of great options I said no to. And then I immediately started reading another. The more books we read, the less we’re staring at a screen. That seems like a great trade-off to me. What does that have to do with productivity? Everything. And nothing at all.

      All that we do in our lives is derived from the experiences we make for ourselves. Writing, reading, travel, work, coexisting with these characters in our lives… it all accumulates into something larger than where we began this journey. And growth is where it’s at, friend. We are alive, and life is forever growing into something more than we started as. Just keep heading towards the light, wherever it takes us. Call it inspiration if it helps.

    • Anything You Need

      You could have a steam train
      If you’d just lay down your tracks
      You could have an aeroplane flying
      If you bring your blue sky back
      All you do is call me
      I’ll be anything you need
      — Peter Gabriel, Sledgehammer

      When we witness change in other people, do we celebrate it with them or work to drag them back down to where they once were? Are we a trusted ally or a part of the problem they’re working to break away from? Now look in the mirror and ask, which are we to ourselves?

      We may quietly let things happen to us or be quite active in leading the charge. We have the agency to alter the outcome, if we use it. To go be a sledgehammer and ditch the old form for transform.

      Sure, this writer is carrying on about change again, but for a change, maybe act on it a bit more? Decide what to be and go be it. Just this once. Be anything you need. Doesn’t your life depend on it?

    • Too Silent to be Real

      Oh, there was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run
      When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun
      Long before the white man and long before the wheel
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      And many are the dead men
      Too silent to be real
      — Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian Railroad Trilogy

      Isn’t it funny how a song firmly sticks in your head when it has no business being there at that particular moment in your life? I’m about as far from majestic mountains and silent dark forests as one can be, and yet this is my ear worm. I can think of far worse. Welcome to my head Gordon.

      I subscribe to the theory that wherever we are, we ought to be there, and I’d like to believe I’m fully present where I am now, doing what I’m doing, no matter what the soundtrack is playing in the background. Presence is simply awareness and appreciation for the world as it unfolds. And here we are.

      Presence (for me anyway) also demands that we are aware of and appreciate all that brought us here. The sacrifices of previous generations that built the world we currently live in, the people in our lives who have surrounded us with love and inordinate patience, the beauty of the natural environment and the courage of those who defend it against those who would exploit it.

      For all the noise in this maddening world, there is still serenity to be found wherever we are. Writing this obscure little blog post that you’ve somehow finished reading (no doubt to figure out the connection between the lyrics and all that followed), I found the silence I’d been looking for. It was here all along, awaiting my attention. Real is what we focus our attention on. So be here, now.

    • Kindred Spirits

      Why worry
      There should be laughter after pain
      There should be sunshine after rain
      These things have always been the same
      So why worry now
      — Dire Straights, Why Worry

      I met a lovely woman maybe 30 years older than me. She is an ambassador for joyful living, shuffling along in an assisted living facility with her walker, getting her steps in, saying hello to everyone and talking with those who wish to linger in conversation. It turns out I like to linger in conversation myself, so we hit it off right away. The joyful know immediately when they’ve found someone like themselves.

      On each visit to see family I’ve seen her as well, and the connection grows. Each conversation with this new friend reveals something new. Moving in, she lost her husband almost immediately afterwards. She said that’s how it goes in a life. A couple of years later, the pain is still evident, but so is her presence. She’s living here and now, carrying what was and aware of what will be. The thing about joy is it’s always here, not some time behind or ahead of us. We just need to discover it.

      It has always been so, this ebb and flow. So don’t get too high, and don’t get too low. Living well means to be deliberate in our joyful pursuits and generous with sharing that joy with others. Sometimes a simple hello said the right way offers connection we never expected. We may never pass this way again, so why not take the opportunity to lift and reassure? For there is hope in this world, as long as we keep finding kindred spirits in all sorts of places.

    • Next Steps

      “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — Seneca (and also Semisonic, Closing Time)

      We often think of starting something new. Yet we’re reluctant to bring the party we’re currently at to an end. We get comfortable in places we ought to be more uncomfortable being. Comfort is a cage.

      It helps to ask ourselves, why am I doing this? If we like the answer, we ought to double down on action to make the most of our opportunity. If we don’t, we ought to leave the party and find someplace else to dance, while we can still dance. The only wrong answer is to plod along wishing for something else without doing a damned thing about it.

      Have you seen what time it is? This party won’t last forever, and neither will we. What is that new beginning—or to borrow from the business world, what does success look like? What is the first step towards that? Defining a series of next steps is the proper way to end any productive meeting. It applies equally well to each stage of our lives. Being a little uncomfortable with a plan is a sure sign that we’re on to something more interesting.

    • Around the World

      Fly the great big sky
      See the great big sea
      Kick through continents
      Busting boundaries
      Take it hip to hip, rocket through the wilderness
      Around the world the trip begins with a kiss
      — The B52’s, Roam

      This song was always about sex, but the other side of that double entrendre was the possibility of roaming. Travel lust, if you will. Permission to explore the world, with that bubbly, joyful B52’s beat.

      The world isn’t all that easy to roam around, and yet it’s incredibly easy if we take the right steps beforehand. A passport, a hint of a plan, and some money to meet the type of travel we’re heading off on. The risk-averse among us will be quick to add health and trip insurance, reservations and all that. But really, that’s just swimming in a roped-off sea—only roaming as much as we feel we’re allowed to. Swim away from the resort and out into the wild sea.

      Spring fever brings with it a desire to roam again. To escape our winter hibernation and getting back out into the world. But the thing about roaming is we’re either talking a good game or we’re putting our plans in action. Don’t we all want a little more action? So let’s roam (if you want to).

    • The Wealth Beyond Money

      The rich have money.
      The wealthy have time.
      It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      The only thing that matters in a lifespan is time and how we use it. To fritter and waste it in an offhand way is a surefire way to have regrets in the end, when time is gone and the song is over. Knowing this, do what must be done. Be jealous with time, that we may be wealthy beyond our money.

      To be aware and alive is the thing. To capture moments, a one line per day journal is helpful. A five-year journal allows us to see where we were a year or two ago on the same day. Some days are blessedly full of life and experience, while other days are sinfully devoid of anything memorable. Each offers a lesson in what to do with today. Do something, that we at least have something to look back on in future years, noting that this day was not frittered away.

      We get so caught up in looking ahead that we forget to spend our present time wisely. Not every moment is going to be jotted down or photographed or discussed over drinks with friends one day, but to be wealthy in time is to capture moments frequently and creatively than we otherwise would have. It’s all a grand experiment in living, and it’s ours alone to witness start-to-finish.

      We don’t have all the time in the world, but we have enough if we truly use it. Be generous with it, be wise with it, but be there with it. Unlike money, we can’t save it for later. True wealth is the active accumulation of time well spent.

    • Learning to See

      How you learn to see
      The hope eternally
      When you’re sure to leave
      Oh, leave at last
      — The Avett Brothers, Morning Song

      This blog post is being written exactly one hour later than normal, and yet at the same time as yesterday. Someone’s idea of daylight savings time flips the clock forward or backward in their respective seasons, and we all wonder why. Like most foolish rituals, it sticks because some people don’t like change. So here we are once again, changing the clocks and the morning ritual of writing before the madness of the day. What time is it really? It’s time to let go of what was.

      Lately the house has experienced changes. As the days grow longer, the communal vibe felt around the holidays fades further from memory. We often don’t stop our own scramble through the days long enough to feel the changes. Work and family commitments, a relentless winter and the rapidity of a finite life hold our attention. The day-to-day routine feels the same, but there are subtle changes.

      The dog, normally walking effervescent joy, has a look in her eyes that says something is off. Her appetite is off, her walks are more distracted. Something has changed in her mind. And then there’s the cat, normally a little ball of hate around the dog anyway, she’s gone out of her way to express it lately. Is the dog being bullied by the cat? Are they both feeling scarcity of attention and expressing it through their interaction with each other? When exactly did I become a pet psychiatrist? Pets react to change just as we humans do. They’re usually at least one paw ahead of us.

      There are forces larger than ourselves at work in the universe. Take that to mean whatever you want it to mean in your own march to infinity, but to me, some measure of hope begins with stepping away from the self and connecting with others. We are here on this brief dance through time together. Tell me, what do we really see? The changes are within us, seeking expression in the time we are given. Life goes on, and so to must we. One subtle step towards the infinite after the other.

    • Sparks of Interesting

      Someday, we will dream about today
      Look back, wonder how it slipped away
      — The Sways, Someday We Will Dream About Today

      Did you see the blood moon? Watching it rise up to meet the night sky was impressive. I imagine that the eclipse that happened the morning this is published was something else as well. It turned out it was not for me. Living low in the valley, it had set before I had an opportunity to see it, and a drive to the top of a local hill netted me no moon sightings. Just the company of fellow experience hunters looking for the same thing.

      That’s the point, isn’t it? To put a stamp on this day with something beyond the ordinary. If these are days we’ll remember one day, what makes it memorable? What is that spark of interesting that kindles that fire within? We ought to stoke those fires whenever possible. For the future will be full of dreams fulfilled or stories of how they faded away. Choose wisely.

      There’s no doubt that a large part of living well is hitting the birth lottery on place and time. There are parts of the world today that wouldn’t net the experiences and freedom of expression that we enjoy here. There are times in human history that wouldn’t offer the possibilities of length and breadth of life that we enjoy today. Do you hear the whispers of those who weren’t so fortunate as we find ourselves? Don’t waste this opportunity on mundane existence. Seek interesting, and give it a big embrace when you find it.