“I perceive that, when an acorn and a chestnut fall side by side, the one does not remain inert to make way for the other, but both obey their own laws, and spring and grow and flourish as best they can, till one, perchance, overshadows and destroys the other. If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man.” — Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience
It’s been a while since I’ve quoted Henry. I think it was the bumper crop of acorns that prompted me to revisit his work. When you live amongst the oak trees, you experience the full gamut of seasons with them, from catkins to acorns to stubborn leaves that hold on long after the maples and ash trees have gone bare. The oaks were here first, and (hopefully) they’ll be here long after I leave this place. I am but a steward of the land in my time.
We know that time is flying rapidly along, because we experience the fruits of our own seasons. My catkin season is long past, I’m gathering as many acorns as I can before the harvest is over. With any luck, my own leaves will hold as an oaks, and not a swamp maple’s. Time will tell.
The lesson, of course, is to learn to live according to our nature, but also in harmony with nature. Those who thrive in a lifetime do so with vigor, but also balance. So it is that I got back to my kettle bell workouts, and read in earnest, and yes, write this blog to keep growing and flourishing as best I can. We all ought to strive to deeply root ourselves with a sense of place and time and see just how far we can stretch ourselves towards the light. To exist otherwise isn’t really living at all.
‘Evolution loves death more than it loves you or me. This is easy to write, easy to read, and hard to believe. The words are simple, the concept clear—but you don’t believe it, do you? Nor do I. How could I, when we’re both so lovable? Are my values then so diametrically opposed to those that nature preserves?” — Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
I woke up to the news that Annie Dillard passed away yesterday. That triggered me to look back on her most famous book, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, for which she won the Pulitzer in 1974. Having read it, I’ll never think of creeks or barnacles the same. In that way, she will live on forever in my mind, and in the minds of countless others who read her books. Creating something is to dance with infinity, or at least for the duration of recorded memory.
Writing is one form of creative output. Apparently Dillard grew weary of the life of a writer and turned to painting in her retirement. The output isn’t the real point, it’s honing awareness through listening and observation, and interpreting those encounters into something tangible that we might share with others. We will all pass from this earth one day. What will be preserved of us? The creation of something beautiful, in whatever form it takes, is a whisper of who we are, and one day too soon, who we once were.
I’ve quoted Dillard in this blog several times over the years, but her quote that resonates the most with me serves to shake me from complacency and force me to focus now. We all need someone to remind us that today matters a great deal in the big scheme of things. Because the scheme is the thing. Structure and productivity matter, when we have something we want to do with our time here. It’s the most stoic of reminders:
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living.” — Annie Dillard, The Writing Life: The Classic Essay Collection on the Creative Process
I was sitting outside with a good book, minding my own business, when in the blink of an eye a yellow jacket flew into my face just below my lower lip, panicked and stung me. I only knew it was a yellow jacket when I saw it fall to the deck after brushing it off. I’d done nothing to provoke it, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. All I could do was put an ice cube on my face to mitigate the swelling, take an antihistamine and get back to the book. Sure, it would have been better if it had never happened, but it also could have been worse.
Amor fati (love of fate) is easy to say, harder to practice. We are constantly offered opportunities to accept the world on its terms. Do we? Another opportunity will surely bump into us sooner or later.
“How much of this invisible dust must be floating in the atmosphere, and be inhaled and drunk by us at this season! Who knows but the pollen of some plants may be unwholesome to inhale, and produce the diseases of the season?” — Henry David Thoreau
For all my love of the outdoors, there are a few weeks a years that tax the soul. We’re in the thick of it now: pollen season. Specifically, the pollen of the white pine tree, which expels clouds of pollen that coats everything vomit green with a tinge of phlegm yellow.
Now I know that statement has a negative connotation, because it’s absolutely meant to, but that doesn’t mean I hold a grudge against the trees. They were here first. I think that I should go instead. Buy a boat and sail away from green clouds to experience blue water.
Trees are rooted to place. Humans are built to move. Preferably somewhere beyond the reach of Pinus Strobus.
What shape waits in the seed of you to grow and spread its branches against a future sky? — David Whyte, What to Remember When Waking
I saw a seal this morning, a dark shape floating quietly in the bay, unmistakeable, assessing the rising sun, perhaps, or more likely catching a breath before diving for breakfast once again. As with these things, the binoculars were handy but not the camera, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Walking down to try to catch another glimpse, I saw nothing and everything all at once. Let’s go with everything this morning.
My mind is full of change lately. This blog is full of change lately. The same yet different.
We cannot predict the future or our place in it, we can only choose a path and work towards that which we dreamed of becoming. Castles in the air, as Thoreau put it, must have a foundation. Work on that today. Tomorrow will unfold as it may.
Oh, there was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun Long before the white man and long before the wheel When the green dark forest was too silent to be real When the green dark forest was too silent to be real And many are the dead men Too silent to be real — Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian Railroad Trilogy
Isn’t it funny how a song firmly sticks in your head when it has no business being there at that particular moment in your life? I’m about as far from majestic mountains and silent dark forests as one can be, and yet this is my ear worm. I can think of far worse. Welcome to my head Gordon.
I subscribe to the theory that wherever we are, we ought to be there, and I’d like to believe I’m fully present where I am now, doing what I’m doing, no matter what the soundtrack is playing in the background. Presence is simply awareness and appreciation for the world as it unfolds. And here we are.
Presence (for me anyway) also demands that we are aware of and appreciate all that brought us here. The sacrifices of previous generations that built the world we currently live in, the people in our lives who have surrounded us with love and inordinate patience, the beauty of the natural environment and the courage of those who defend it against those who would exploit it.
For all the noise in this maddening world, there is still serenity to be found wherever we are. Writing this obscure little blog post that you’ve somehow finished reading (no doubt to figure out the connection between the lyrics and all that followed), I found the silence I’d been looking for. It was here all along, awaiting my attention. Real is what we focus our attention on. So be here, now.
You know what they say, “March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb”. And this lion is eating me alive. Snow I can live with, but the frozen layers of sleet, snow and graupel that greeted me on the driveway made me question my choices in life. New Englanders everywhere are asking themselves the classic question of March, “should I just wait for it to melt?”
The alternative to waiting for it to melt with such a mix is to get to work. Snowblowers don’t work on such stuff. One must test the ticker scraping this crap off the pavement with a sturdy shovel inch by inch. Slow and steady wins the race. Happily the ticker is still ticking.
The thing is, we choose this lifestyle. What is it about me that believes that a clean driveway is all that important this time of year? It’s going to melt in a few days anyway. Right. Alas, I live by the philosophy of a tidy ship. And I wasn’t in the Navy.
It comes down to mindful work. I cannot control what is happening in the world, I cannot control the rapid physical or mental decline of people in my life, I cannot control much of anything in the universe, but sometimes I can control how clean my driveway is. And generally it looks pretty darn good for a driveway this far north in a legit tough winter. And then Mother Nature reminded us once again who the boss really is.
These are days when it helps to have perspective. We are gaining twenty minutes of daylight every week. Things are literally getting brighter. Focus on the beauty in the world, not the maddening setbacks to all that was right and good. For this too shall pass, and soon enough the daffodils will rise to greet us once again. Yes, it’s going to melt. Sooner or later… right?
The snow began in afternoon this time around. Each storm is unique and memorable, if we observe the weather for what it is—alive and vital in its day. We get so busy complaining about the weather that we forget to simply coexist with it. The weather simply is, as we ourselves are. We share this day together and nevermore.
We walked together, the pup and me. On snowy streets quietly tracked with tires and footprints of those who had ventured out before us. This winter the plows wait a while before facing their task. Why bother? The snow will just keep coming. The price they will pay is the heaviness of their burden. Our price is a slow shuffle through the clinging accumulation. The snow clings to boots and paws, and we feel ourselves rise higher with each step. The pup uses her teeth to pluck the clumps off her paws. I’m not that dexterous and simply kick off the clumpiness.
All of this makes for a slow go in the snow. But our nightly walk is our ritual, no matter the weather. A hush falls over the street, but for the soft tread of boots and paws, moving through time as the layers accumulate. Each step is heard. Each step is felt. Flake-by-flake and step-by-step, we mark time with progress. Snow and boots and paws. Tomorrow will tell its own tale. Tonight belongs to the three of us.
“The snow doesn’t give a soft white damn whom it touches.” — E.E. Cummings
Have a look around this winter day. How do you feel about snow? Remember, in answering, what we mean to the snow.
One’s relationship with snow often comes down to what one is prioritizing that particular day. When we focus only on the bleak reality of our day, snow tends to be nothing but a barrier. We want to get from here to there, but for the snow. We want to park there, but for the snow. Et cetera.
Alternatively, we may find all the truth in the universe buried like treasure in snow. When we seek council with it, we hear whispers in its silence. When we get out in the world with it gliding or tromping or rolling in it, we find delight revealed in ordinary. When we grab a handful and sculpt it into something alive in our imagination, we are transformed together into artist and form. Temporary and beautiful in this dance with infinity, before one day being transformed again into something else.
Do you see? Like life itself, snow is neutral and indifferent. It’s people who transform it with meaning. So again I ask, how do you feel about snow?
“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, “Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
We are having a proper winter in New Hampshire this season. The cold is unrelenting and the snow consistent. It isn’t inclined to melt away when the days are frigid. Instead we have sublimation of the snowpack, and a sting on the skin. As we step into February, I write of the last day of January 2026, and a walk in the woods I’ll remember as particularly remarkable (so much so that I’m remarking on it).
Almost a week after the region’s big snow, I finally had some time available to head to the local conservation area for a walk in the woods on my snowshoes. I went with trepidation, for I know the damage that can happen to a trail after a week of people and their pets post-holing through deep snow. But the parking lot was surprisingly empty for a Saturday morning, and the trails themselves were relatively clean. Post-holed for sure, but it’s been so cold and the snow so fluffy that it wasn’t the icy hellscape I thought it might be.
I still chose to break trail on pristine snow whenever the opportunity presented itself. Making a bee-line across steep terrain from one broken trail towards another. Some of the drifts were pretty deep, almost 4 feet of powder, but my snowshoes were up to the task. Thankfully, so was I!
Large portions of the conservation land’s trail network were completely unbroken. I smiled to myself at the lucky break and braced myself for the work ahead. Breaking trail on snowshoes is a great workout, and I’d gone out by myself with nobody to share the load. This is where being well-acquainted with working out comes in handy. I’m no Olympian, but I can break a trail for a few miles without passing out from the effort.
The larger trail network required an out and back over a bridge spanning wetland. On the way to it the bridge was untouched by anything but snow. On the return, I captured a picture of the trail I’d made on the out and back. It will be interesting to see what it looks like today, with a broken trail that others may have since walked.
In one section, I revisited a town border marker that someone has since painted white with red lettering to make it more obvious to visitors. A is for Atkinson. There’s an H on the other side for Hampstead. Most of the trail network covers the latter town.
For all my time in nature on this snowshoe walk, I didn’t see much in the way of wildlife (It’s not like I’m sneaking up on anybody marching across the snow). Ironically, when I drove home afterwards, a neighbor excitedly told me he’d had three bald eagles in a tree in his yard not more than 30 minutes before. Now we’ve had a lot of wildlife moving through the neighborhood over the years, but none of us had ever seen a bald eagle, let alone three of them together. I’m sure that they’re hungry, and with the rivers frozen over they are scoping out the local valleys to expand their menu.
The odds were against seeing them still in the area, but I recruited the dog for a walk of the neighborhood to see if one would return. Sure enough, I was blessed with a fly-over by one of them. There’s no mistaking an eagle soaring over the landscape, and it was a thrill to see it. By the time I had my phone out to snap a picture it was already past me gliding towards open fields beyond the woods. It was a great way to cap a Saturday morning in snowy New Hampshire.
