Alexandersmap

    Category: Personal Growth

    • The Reach

      “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

      The thing about reaching is that it’s inherently less comfortable than staying in place. We stretch ourselves in the reach. We experience unusual things, sometimes unimaginable things, when stepping out of the familiar. Sometimes we find this unsettling, but sometimes we encounter delight and wonder. The reach is almost always worth it for who we become.

      Yes, we must seek new experiences, that we may fully live. Life will fly right on by whether we embrace the challenge of living boldly or shrink into whatever timid role we began the day in. Life may be thrilling when we make it so, just as surely as it may be trivial and boring when we stay in our shell. By all means, we must break out of it and try a new one on for size.

      The reach shouldn’t feel impossible. It should simply be a reach. And when we reach that point, reach again. In this way we expand our lives and become something more… and more. Mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned, and we will grow.

      Abundance in a lifetime isn’t a stack of gold or shiny things, it’s the experiences we have and the people we surround ourselves with. To reach is to actively engage with the world and to grow into whomever we may become—closer to our potential, closer to excellence.

    • Life Happens

      “When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let is destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ― Dr. Seuss

      Talking to an acquaintance recently, he relayed a series of tragedies that had befallen his family. One day everything was relatively normal, the next bad news was dropping all around them. Having been there a few times in my own life, empathy and supportiveness are drawn upon readily. We can take all the measures to be more resilient, but no matter the measure, life happens.

      “Be still, my heart; thou hast known worse than this.” ― Homer, The Odyssey

      The more we live, the more we live through—the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Each informs, and when we pay attention, we learn lessons that will mitigate the impact of the next. Life isn’t easy and it’s definitely not fair, but it’s still worth the ride. Often our most beautiful moments are on the other side of darkness. Yet so many people among us focus only on the darkness, hate and misery in the world. They never get to the other side where beautiful lies, instead sinking deeper and deeper into the well. What kind of life is that?

      “The darkest hour is just before the dawn.” — Thomas Fuller

      Remembering that this too shall pass, with a purpose transcending our darkest days, is one way out. Sometimes it’s simply finding others who have been there before us, that we may see the light. Strength comes from stressors, whether we welcome them or not is beside the point. The best way to climb out of the abyss is to find climbing buddies. We may all lift each other up to a brighter place. If not now, then someday.

    • On Action

      “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ”
      ― William James

      There’s nothing more essential to getting to where we’d like to be than a bias towards action. Want to have a better relationship? Earn it with attention. Want to be a better writer? Read, experience the world more and write about it often. Want to be fit? Stop wishing for it and get moving already. We know deep down that the answer is action.

      We can’t close a gap without effort. We can’t climb a corporate ladder or a mountain peak without moving one step at a time higher than we currently are. To open a door previously closed to us, we must first reach the door before we can open it and step through. Take the steps necessary to get there.

      Personally, I have a five year plan for where and who I want to be. To reach that person in that place, there are some clear steps necessary to bring me there. Most essential is taking care of the mind and body that will carry me there. We can work all our days for a goal, but we won’t reach it if we physically slide sideways off the cliff. The rest is identifying the systems, routines and habits essential to getting us to our goals, scheduling and tracking them from now until the end. We’re building a lifestyle of active participation, not just reaching some summit.

      How we want to live is as essential to ask ourselves as who we want to be. We may never close the gap fully, but a lifestyle built making ourselves better than we were yesterday is inherently optimistic and happier than one built trying to hold on to the pieces of who we once were. Be a builder instead. What is the gap and what are the steps necessary to close it? Once it’s all laid out for us, the rest is taking that first step and following with the next.

    • Revisiting the 20/10 “Stop Doing” Exercise

      “Suppose you woke up tomorrow and received two phone calls. The first phone call tells you that you have inherited $20 million, no strings attached. The second tells you that you have an incurable and terminal disease, and you have no more than 10 years to live. What would you do differently, and, in particular, what would you stop doing?” — Jim Collins

      “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no!” — Derek Sivers

      This idea of contemplating our expiration date (memento mori) combined with the possibility of having the financial freedom to do whatever we want with the time is an essential filtering mechanism for designing our future. It’s almost never about the big ticket money activities, it’s about carving out time for the simple things in life, like being there for the kids or having the lifestyle commitment and personal responsibility to get a puppy. Sure, money helps, but it’s freedom people seek in their lives. The fastest way to freedom is saying no to more things.

      We ought to remember we all have a terminal disease, whatever our timeline, and get busy prioritizing the essential over all the rest. Life is a short game, best fully-optimized. We’ll never fully reach that level of excellence, but we can aspire to close the gap. Instead of resolutions, we may choose instead to define what our “no’s” will be, that we may have the space for those “hell yes’s”

    • The Quest for Better

      “Let me start with issuing you a challenge: Be better than you are. Set a goal that seems unattainable, and when you reach that goal, set another one even higher.” — Herb Brooks

      Wishes are nice. When my daughter asks me what my wish is on any given occasion for such things, my answer is always “world peace” because it’s as good a wish as any, and better than most. The short answer is, I don’t wish for things, I plan (too often over-plan) and I take steps towards them. Planning and deliberate action are better than wishes.

      Resolutions are nice. I don’t make them, because I would always break them. Instead I see the person I want to be, identify what that person would be doing every day to reach further than that point and I start adding those routines to my own calendar. As a streak hitter, I know streaks are made to be broken eventually. I try to string together as many days as possible on any desired trait and track it in a journal. Writing has surpassed five years every day and counting. Some other habits aren’t holding up as well. Each informs and I restart every day with the best intentions fueled by a desire for better than I currently am. How about you? What gets you beyond the resolution rut?

      Experiences are the currency now. Doing things I wouldn’t have done a few years ago. Even thinking to do things is a step beyond the more insular world I once inhabited. Each stage of life brings with it a new set of priorities. Prepare better meals. Speak a second or third language better than yesterday. Experience something entirely new each week. Pretty soon that calendar is full of interesting leaps forward. Pretty soon we’ve become that person we thought unattainable. And the quest for better begins anew.

    • Counting Wins

      “Give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths.” — Epictetus

      And so we begin again. If a human life is marked by the sum of our days, then this day is our opportunity to launch into something greater than we were in our previous days. A new year is just the same as a new day: it’s all the same on our march forward. What counts is the march to better. What matters is following through one step at a time to the end of our days.

      The trick is to focus on the strengths we wish to develop in ourselves. The weaknesses are what we tend to resolve to change. This leads to frustration and failure. Where’s the fun in that? We all know deep down which resolutions are doomed to fail. They’re the ones without a compelling why and the simplicity of routine. What is more routine than doing the little things every day?

      Epictetus had it right. We must decide which kind of character we want to construct first. Who do we want to be? What is the price that closes the gap between that person and the person contemplating change? There will be days for leaping, but we ought to begin with what we’ll call a win when everything is upside down and failure is in the air. What counts as a win each day?

      I’m a streak hitter. I publish every day to keep this streak alive, just like every other positive habit. There are days when it’s the bare minimum, there are days when it’s a lot more, but it’s always something. That’s one example of paying the price every day, and a small win that keeps the momentum going. It’s become a strength simply in the doing.

      That gap isn’t closed with a leap. It’s closed by filling in the gap. One small win at a time.

    • Some Years

      Forever alive, forever forward,
      Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied,
      Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
      They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go,
      But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.
      — Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road

      Some years feel monumental for the changes that wash over us. Some years feel like nothing happened worth writing home about. For the former, lessons in living life anew. For the latter, a tap on the shoulder that maybe now is the time to shake things up a bit and step outside of the familiar. We only have so many some years to work with.

      Heading into a new year, what are we to make of it? It can’t be more of the same for us, for everything changes all the time. Even what feels familiar and constant is changing, just at a slower rate than the world around that thing. I look around at the house I’ve lived in for what feels like forever and everything but the framing and windows has changed over and over again. Change is indeed a constant, reliable dynamic that we either must surf or be swept away by. We’ve all shown ourselves to be able surfers thus far.

      What makes a life great? Isn’t it the experiences we have with the people we surround ourselves with? Everything in life is an interaction between the inner self and the universe that surrounds us. To have lived well in this shell of a body is to have engaged actively with the world and to draw something from it, that we may grow for as long as we can.

      All years come and go. We advance with the years, forever alive, forever forward. Some years stand out as more memorable than others. Like a puzzle, the full picture doesn’t emerge until we put in the time. As the picture of the year that was is completed, we realize that there’s a larger puzzle still in the works. All our days make a picture—the sum of our lives. We must keep advancing towards something great, even if we can’t quite see it in ourselves. We must decide what to be and go be it.

    • Picked Up Pieces 2023: Insights From Books Read

      2023 was full of both wonder and horror, depending on which direction you were looking in and how immersed you were in your personal corner of the world. The news doesn’t help any of us live a more introspective, insightful life. For that we need to open ourselves to new experiences or dive deeper into the pond we’re swimming in already. We ought to be more aware, more open to change, more engaged and more adventurous in our days. And yes, we ought to read more, for the doors books open for us into worlds we’d never experience otherwise.

      As with every year, there’s only so many books you can fit in, so we ought to make them worthwhile. This is not a “best of 2023” list, but ten of the books I found most enlightening and informative. There are no fictional novels on this list, but rest assured, some of my favorite books of the year were fiction. This was a year of personal growth, and the reading reflects that. Every book we read is a stepping stone to more books. We, in turn, become what we focus on the most. It’s no mystery that that theme comes up a few times in this list.

      Brad Stulberg, The Practice of Groundedness
      We must shake ourselves loose from the frantic pursuit of everything and ground ourselves in the things that matter most in our lives. Steady, focused attention on the essential moves us closer to becoming who we want to be.

      “When we strive to be everywhere and do everything, we tend to feel like we’re not fully experiencing anything. If we’re not careful and protective of our attention, it can seem like we’re losing control of our lives, bouncing from one distraction to the next.”

      “Most breakthroughs rest upon a long-standing foundation of steady and consistent effort. For so many of the meaningful endeavors in our lives, the best way to move fast is to go about it slowly, to proceed with a gentle yet firm persistence.”

      Gary Keller, The One Thing
      We can’t possibly master everything. We must decide who we will become and focus our attention on achieving it.
      “Our purpose sets our priority and our priority determines the productivity our actions produce.”

      “One of our biggest challenges is making sure our life’s purpose doesn’t become a beggar’s bowl, a bottomless pit of desire continually searching for the next thing that will make us happy.”
      “Pick a direction, start marching down that path, and see how you like it. Time brings clarity and if you find you don’t like it, you can always change your mind. It’s your life.”

      “When you can see mastery as a path you go down instead of a destination you arrive at, it starts to feel accessible and attainable. Most assume mastery is an end result, but at its core, mastery is a way of thinking, a way of acting, and a journey you experience.”

      Arthur C. Brooks, From Strength to Strength: Finding success, happiness, and deep purpose in the second half of life
      We will all face a decline in our fluid intelligence and physical ability. The good news is we can reinvent ourselves to maximize the talents developed over our lifetime. This is expressed as our crystalized intelligence, optimized for our latest stage of life.

      “Here is the reality: in practically every high-skill profession, decline sets in sometime between one’s late thirties and early fifties. Sorry, I know that stings. And it gets worse: the more accomplished one is at the peak of one’s career, the more pronounced decline seems once it has set in.”

      “If your career relies solely on fluid intelligence, it’s true that you will peak and decline pretty early. But if your career requires crystallized intelligence—or if you can repurpose your professional life to rely more on crystallized intelligence—your peak will come later but your decline will happen much, much later, if ever.”

      “You must be prepared to walk away from these achievements and rewards before you feel ready. The decline in your fluid intelligence is a sign that it is time not to rage, which just doubles down on your unsatisfying attachments and leads to frustration. Rather, it is time to scale up your crystallized intelligence, use your wisdom, and share it with others.”

      Pico Iyer, The Half Known Life : In Search of Paradise
      Human history is a quest a search for that elusive paradise, or heaven on earth. The trouble is we don’t see it when we have it, and we tend to destroy it in our embrace.

      “As soon as I came of age, I posted myself full-time in the New World, and started inhaling the gospel of possibility as it came to me through Emerson and Thoreau. Why look to old Europe and the wisdom of conventions? they reminded me: we are wiser than we know, if only we can awaken to a sense of all that lies beyond our knowledge.”

      “A true paradise has meaning only after one has outgrown all notions of perfection and taken the measure of the fallen world.”

      “Reality is neither an insult nor an aberration, but the partner with whom we have to make our lives.”

      “In Japan a cemetery is known as a “city of tomorrow.”

      Bill Perkins, Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life
      The three currencies in our life are time, money and health. Each stage of life offers an abundance of one or two of the three, but rarely all of them. We must maximize each stage of life based on the currency available to us.

      “Unlike school years and round-trip vacations, the end points of most periods in our lives come and go without much fanfare. The periods may overlap, but sooner or later each one comes to an end. Because of this eventual finality of all of life’s passing phases, you can delay some experiences for only so long before the window of opportunity on these experiences shuts forever.”

      “Being aware that your time is limited can clearly motivate you to make the most of the time you do have.”

      “The more traditional bucket list is usually put together by an older individual who, when confronted with their mortality, begins to scratch out a list of activities and pursuits they not only haven’t done yet but now feel compelled to do quickly, before time runs out. By contrast, by dividing goals into time buckets, you are taking a much more proactive approach to your life. In effect, you’re looking ahead over several coming decades of your life and trying to plan out all the various activities, events, and experiences you’d like to have. Time buckets are proactive and let you plan your life; a bucket list, on the other hand, is a much more reactive effort in a sudden race against time.”

      Edith Hamilton, The Greek Way
      We have a lifetime to develop our character, with each day an opportunity to find something within us that is divine. Life is meant to be a joyful quest for excellence. The ancient Greeks, flawed as they were, rose to develop greatness within themselves and left a template for humanity.

      “We are composite creatures, made up of soul and body, mind and spirit. When men’s attention is fixed upon one to the disregard of the others, human beings result who are only partially developed, their eyes blinded to half of what life offers and the great world holds.”

      “If we had no other knowledge of what the Greeks were like, if nothing were left of Greek art and literature, the fact that they were in love with play and played magnificently would be proof enough of how they lived and how they looked at life. Wretched people, toiling people, do not play.”

      “To rejoice in life, to find the world beautiful and delightful to live in, was a mark of the Greek spirit which distinguished it from all that had gone before. It is a vital distinction. The joy of life is written upon everything the Greeks left behind and they who leave it out of account fail to reckon with something that is of first importance in understanding how the Greek achievement came to pass in the world of antiquity.”

      “Character is a Greek word, but it did not mean to the Greeks what it means to us. To them it stood first for the mark stamped upon the coin, and then for the impress of this or that quality upon a man, as Euripides speaks of the stamp—character—of valor upon Hercules, man the coin, valor the mark imprinted on him. To us a man’s character is that which is peculiarly his own; it distinguishes each one from the rest. To the Greeks it was a man’s share in qualities all men partake of; it united each one to the rest. We are interested in people’s special characteristics, the things in this or that person which are different from the general. The Greeks, on the contrary, thought what was important in a man were precisely the qualities he shared with all mankind. The distinction is a vital one. Our way is to consider each separate thing alone by itself; the Greeks always saw things as parts of a whole, and this habit of mind is stamped upon everything they did.”

      John Stevens, Zen Bow, Zen Arrow: The Life and Teachings of Awa Kenzo, the Archery Master from Zen in the Art of Archery
      Eliminate clutter from the mind and focus on that which is most essential in the moment.

      “If your mind
      Targets your soul,
      You can abandon the ego with no self,
      And make
      Each day anew.”

      “Continue to progress, do not stagnate. Consider a spinning top. It moves around a stable center. It spins and spins until finally falling over, exhausted.”

      Winifred Gallagher, Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life
      Focus is the essential ingredient to creativity and effectiveness. Carve out the time necessary to do anything of consequence.

      “Paying attention to positive emotions literally expands your world, while focusing on negative feelings shrinks it—a fact that has important implications for your daily experience.”

      “Attention, from the Latin for “reach toward,” is the most basic ingredient in any relationship, from a casual friendship to a lifelong marriage. Giving and receiving the undivided sort, however briefly, is the least that one person can do for another and sometimes the most.”

      “If most of the time you’re not particularly concerned about whether what you’re doing is work or play, or even whether you’re happy or not, you know you’re living the focused life.”

      “Because your remembering self pays attention to your thoughts about your life, rather than to the thing itself, it can be difficult to evaluate the quality of your own experience accurately.”

      “Of creativity’s many integers, attention is one of the most important. Whether your form of expression involves concocting a sauce, decorating a room, or writing a poem, you need both an active, exploratory focus on the matter at hand and the long-term concentration required to gain the knowledge and skills that support true mastery.”

      Brian P. Moran, The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months
      We can do far more than we think we can by creating a sense of urgency and immediacy to our work.

      “We mistakenly believe that there is a lot of time left in the year, and we act accordingly. We lack a sense of urgency, not realizing that every week is important, every day is important, every moment is important. Ultimately, effective execution happens daily and weekly!”

      “The end of the year represents a line in the sand, a point at which we measure our success or failure. Never mind that it’s an arbitrary deadline; everyone buys into it. It is the deadline that creates the urgency.”

      “Periodization began as an athletic training technique designed to dramatically improve performance. Its principles are focus, concentration, and overload on a specific skill or discipline.”

      “Without a compelling reason to choose otherwise, most people will take comfortable actions over uncomfortable ones. The issue is that the important actions are often the uncomfortable ones.”

      “The one thing that moves the universe is action.”

      Will & Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History
      History repeats, and we must be diligent in learning the lessons of history that we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.

      “The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character, the only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionists are philosophers and saints.”

      “In England and the United States, in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, in Switzerland and Canada, democracy is today sounder than ever before. It has defended itself with courage and energy against the assaults of foreign dictatorship, and has not yielded to dictatorship at home. But if war continues to absorb and dominate it, or if the itch to rule the world requires a large military establishment and appropriation, the freedoms of democracy may one by one succumb to the discipline of arms and strife. If race or class war divides us into hostile camps, changing political argument into blind hate, one side or the other may overturn the hustings with the rule of the sword. If our economy of freedom fails to distribute wealth as ably as it has created it, the road to dictatorship will be open to any man who can persuasively promise security to all; and a martial government, under whatever charming phrases, will engulf the democratic world.”

    • That Which is Moved By Itself

      “All soul is immortal. For that which is always in movement is immortal; that which moves something else, and is moved by something else, in ceasing from movement ceases from living. So only that which moves itself, because it does not abandon itself, never stops moving. But it is also source and first principle of movement for the other things which move. Now a first principle is something which does not come into being. For all that comes into being must come into being from a first principle, but a first principle itself cannot come into being from anything at all; for if a first principle came into being from anything, it would not do so from a first principle. Since it is something that does not come into being, it must also be something which does not perish. For if a first principle is destroyed, neither will it ever come into being from anything itself nor will anything else come into being from it, given that all things must come into being from a first principle. It is in this way, then, that that which moves itself is a first principle of movement. It is not possible for this either to be destroyed or to come into being, or else the whole universe and the whole of that which comes to be might collapse together and come to a halt, and never again have a source from which things will be moved and come to be. And since that which is moved by itself has been shown to be immortal, it will incur no shame to say that this is the essence and the definition of the soul” ― Plato, Phaedrus

      “Greece’s great men let all their acts turn on the immortality of the soul. We don’t really act as if we believed in the soul’s immortality and that’s why we are where we are today.” ― Edith Hamilton

      The immortality of the soul is not a topic to be taken lightly. There are all sorts of questions that come to mind when we really think about our souls and things beyond ourselves. We might lean into religion for the safety of structure. We might lean into philosophy and the rigidity of full-on debate about such things as first principles. We might meditate or walk in the wilderness or stare down steep waves as we cross angry oceans on a quest for answers within. Whatever the path, we ought to keep moving forward towards personal insight and enlightenment.

      Living in the noise and fog of life is mere distraction. We grab for our share and maybe a little bit more. In all that vulgarity of shouting to be heard and finger-pointing and behind-the-scenes manipulation, where do we find time for personal reflection? Without silent contemplation, where is there room for a moment of clarity? Must every life be a power grab and a scramble for the top? That’s a great way to get kicked in the teeth. Yet we must fight for our place in a world that views every soul a pawn—mustn’t we?

      Human nature being what it is, there ought to be lane markers that keep us from straying towards our worst traits. There ought to be checks and balances and a code of conduct. And there ought to be laws based on morality and the common good. Fortunately, our ancestors learned from mistakes made and created the structure we need to coexist and grow. But humanity has a short memory and there’s always someone who will game the system in their favor. And so we must be diligent in holding our collective self to a higher standard. We tend to fall short now and then in this respect.

      And this is where our personal code of conduct becomes essential to living an enlightened, fulfilling life. We aren’t here to bruise and batter the soul in relentless pursuit of more, we’re here to nurture and grow our soul into something bigger and better than where we started. Immortality is a fools game for these frail bodies of ours, but the soul, well, we can live in such a way that we send it off with some momentum. Whatever comes next could surely use a better collection of souls to work with.

      With that in mind, we ought to keep trying to improve the soup we’re swimming in now as well. If this is the collection of souls that are following us for eternity, then we ought to do something in our brief lifetimes that moves the chains in profound and meaningful ways for the whole of humanity. To live our lives in such a way that our fellow inhabitants and future generations have something to hold onto in their time. We’re all in this together, marching towards immortal clarity.

      So we ought to do the right thing. Simple, right? We’ll know it when we take the time to feel it. It begins with knowing where we began and who we want to become. When viewed through the lens of an immortal soul that transcends our physical self, that clarity becomes more attainable. Think about the people we’ve known in our lifetimes who have transcended death. Their souls still warm us and help direct us in our lives. We, in turn, may shape our lives in such a way that we may carry that warmth and direction to others, who will then do the same for as long as there are human souls. That’s a path to immortality available to all of us.

    • Our Sine Qua Non

      “Taking charge of your own learning is a part of taking charge of your life, which is the sine qua non in becoming an integrated person.” ― Warren Bennis

      Sine qua non (without which, not) is that essential ingredient in the recipe that brings everything else together. It’s not a phrase we’re likely to throw out there when we’re discussing the oil in the engine with our mechanic, but we can see how it could be. When applied to our identity, it’s the essence of who we are. When applied to who we might become, it’s the essential things that we must master within ourselves to close the gap and be that next person.

      Warren Bennis was one of the first business gurus I followed early in my career. I’d fancied myself a leader and his books on leadership were insightful and inspiring. There was a big gap between where I was in my career and where I thought I ought to be, but knowing that gap we begin to make choices that bring us closer to where we want to be. Remove the corporate aspirations, as I eventually did, and we’re left with a credo for personal leadership in any situation. We take charge of our lives when we embrace our own personal growth.

      So what of becoming an integrated person? What exactly does that demand of us? Isn’t it another way of saying we’re fully optimizing ourselves? This requires balance in our fitness, in our relationships, in spirituality and in whatever it is that calls us to greatness in our craft. Everything we become is an output of what we bring in, processed by that great differentiator that is our essential identity, and placed out in the world for the world to try to understand.

      We are each unique actors—we all have our verse, as Whitman put it—and we each grow into ourselves. All while dancing with the world as the character we are in that moment. Our essence remains the same, but we change over time. Some change is deliberate (decide what to be and go be it), some is environmental (we are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with) and some is born within us as natural talent or inclination that we lean into as it speaks to us. The trick is to keep growing in ways that makes us more complete.

      Sine qua non is a useful lens through which to view our growth: Without learning this, I will not become that. Without doing this exercise more consistently, I will never get to a point where I can do that other thing. Without writing every day I’ll never develop the self-understanding and proficiency to both know myself and to grow in the craft I aspire to master. Each “without” points towards the essence of what must be to become what we may be.

      As we close out yet another year on the planet, we begin to think about the possibility of whom we might become in the next year. There’s a place in our lives for the well-timed leap, but we ought to remember that big leaps can be bruising if we don’t land where we anticipated. Leaps are often a sign of impatience with where we are versus where we want to be. Small, incremental improvements seem to be the best way to close gaps. We can then naturally step across that once-daunting chasm towards what we want to become.