Alexandersmap

    Tag: Habits

    • Favorites From a Year of Reading

      This might go down as my favorite year of reading.  I made it a goal to read more the last two years, and the momentum from 2018 definitely carried over into 2019.  Reading inspired my travel to new places and offered side trips of meaning in places I’ve been many times before.  It kicked me in the backside with work, writing, exercise and diet, and it inspired me to be a better version of myself than I previously had been.  I’m still a work in progress, but aren’t we all?  In all I read 23 books cover-to-cover in 2019, and dabbled in chapters of a few more.  Here are my ten favorite books this year:

      Atomic Habits by James Clear was by far the most impactful book on self-improvement that I’ve read in many years.  Strongly recommend this if you’re looking to make meaningful changes in your life.  I’m going to re-read it again in January to get a jump-start on 2020.  Habits that are now part of my identity include reading, writing, walking and drinking water.  Habits that went by the wayside include daily burpees and drinking less.  2020 (every day really) offers a chance to reset on habits, with new possibilities with learning language(s) and a few notable work goals.

      The Gift by Hafiz is a stunningly beautiful collection of poems.  Why it took me until 2019 to find Hafiz I don’t know…  but I’m glad I got here.

      Dream Work by Mary Oliver is another collection of brilliant poetry that it took me way too long in life to discover.  Maybe Oliver’s passing this year put a spotlight on her work, or maybe the student was finally ready.  Either way I’m glad I’ve immersed myself in the world of Mary Oliver.

      To Shake the Sleeping Self: A Journey from Oregon to Patagonia by Jedidiah Jenkins is a travel book on the one hand, and a journey of self-discovery one the other as Jenkins wrestles with his religious upbringing and his sexual identity during an epic biking trip across North and South America.  The book reinforces my belief that most people are good while acknowledging some good fortune along the way.  As a bonus, Jenkins pointed me towards one Hafiz poem, Tim Ferriss pointed me towards another, and soon I was reading The Gift (above).

      Awareness by Anthony De Mello is not the kind of book I ever would have picked up, as it feels self-helpy and overly religious at first glance.  And it does have a healthy dose of both things, but this books is an incredible call to action for the self, and backed up with tremendous insight into human nature.  Another book I wish I’d read years ago that I’m glad I got to in 2019.

      How the Scots Invented the Modern World by Arthur Herman is a book I’ve had on the shelf for years that I finally got to in 2019.  Perhaps inspired by my then upcoming trip to Scotland, I burned through the book quickly, learning a lot about the Scottish people who made a massive impact on the world we live in today.  It also prompted me to add a few places to my trip that I might not otherwise have gone to.

      The Map Thief by Michael Blanding poured gasoline on my burning fascination with old maps, and fired me up in another way; as someone who is passionate about historical artifacts like maps and old books, and also in a career based on securing people and assets from criminals like Forbes Smiley, this book was highly relevant for me.

      The French and Indian War: Deciding the Fate of North America by Walter R. Borneman offered me more insight into the place I live than any history book in a long time.  The Northeast corner of North America is where most of this fighting took place, and I took the opportunity to visit many historically important sites in my travels that were inspired by this book.

      Benedict Arnold’s Navy: The Ragtag Fleet That Lost the Battle of Lake Champlain But Won the American Revolution by James L. Nelson is a look at the complex individual that is Benedict Arnold.  And it goes well beyond the Battle of Lake Champlain, with a detailed account of Arnold’s epic raid of Quebec through the wilderness of Maine.  The retreat from Quebec opened up the St Lawrence River to the British, which put Lake Champlain and Lake George in their sites as the critical water route to the Hudson River. Arnold’s fleet delayed the British just long enough to set up the victory at Saratoga (where Arnold played a critical role as well).  I followed this book by reading Valiant Ambition by Nathanial Philbrick, another excellent book with even more detail on complicated life of Benedict Arnold.  Benedict Arnold’s Navy inspired that read, so it gets the nod here in the top ten.

      The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday is, as the title indicates, meant to be read daily, one quick dose of stoic medicine at a time.  After immersing myself in Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations in 2018, I felt that The Daily Stoic would be a great way to add a little daily stoicism to my life.  And it became part of my morning routine, where I’d read this before other books.  I’ll continue this habit by re-reading The Daily Stoic one day at a time in 2020 and on into the future.

      So there you go, my top ten favorite reads in 2019.  I’m a better person for having read them all, and look forward to revisiting several of them again and again in the years to come.  I’m a better writer for having read them all (still a work in progress).  And there’s a big stack of exciting books to tackle waiting patiently beside them.  So here’s to some great reading in the year ahead!

    • Felling the Tree

      “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to be.” – James Clear

      This morning the snooze alarm went off well before I was prepared to get up. I don’t use the snooze button mind you; don’t believe in it. You’re either sleeping or you’re getting up. But my wife uses the snooze button often as part of her wake-up routine. Thankfully most days I’m up well before her alarm would go off. Today was an exception. Feeling a bit worn out I was going to sleep in, until the second snooze convinced me it wasn’t possible.

      This morning I operated in slow motion. Foggy and some aches and pains. I slowly dressed to work out, walked downstairs and drank a pint of water. The internal dialogue trending towards bagging the morning workout and doing it later in the day.  I’ve heard this song before and point my feet towards the basement door, down thirteen steps and onto the erg for a row.  I row 500 meters to warm up and assess my overall condition.  My assessment isn’t good, but I stand after 500 meters and warm up the shoulders.  More aches…  but I ignore them and drop down for the burpees, slower than usual but complete, row another piece and call it a workout.  I’ve done the bare minimum, cast my vote and I’m back upstairs.  I hear the snooze going off upstairs and look at the clock.  60 minutes of snooze buttoning.  Yikes.

      On to reading stoicism, a bit of an article on Ben Franklin in London, and a bit of writing this before my wife is downstairs and off for her commute.  Habits carried the morning for me even as the mind rebelled.  The James Clear quote above stays with me more than anything else in his excellent book.  Simple, memorable wisdom in a bite-sized chunk.  I wish I’d written that.  Instead I write other words, casting votes for the type of person I wish to be.  I’m closing in on 100,000 words written in this blog, and a few thousand burpees.  I need to move beyond the bare minimum workout, which means changing other habits later in the day.  Win the morning, lose the evening and it’s a wash.  Life is too short for a wash.  With only 142 days left in 2019 there’s so much to do still.  Why settle for the bare minimum?

      I joined a group challenge with co-workers.  We all travel, and we all struggle with the balance of exercise versus caloric intake that the job seems to demand.  We’ve all agreed to lose ten pounds by the time we reach a trade show in Chicago next month or pay $20 bucks and hear about it from those who were successful.  Nothing focuses the mind like peer pressure, so I’m all in on this challenge.  But I noticed I gave myself a pass last week (after all I had five weeks to complete the challenge).  I recognized this trend – it reminded me of pulling all nighters to complete papers in college.  Wait until the last minute, then put yourself through hell to reach a goal.  You won’t fell the tree with one swing of the axe…  I like the more intelligent approach of consistent, daily action and the compound effect, and so an incremental increase in daily workload to reach the goal is in order.  Keeping it going for the rest of the 142 days offers a head start on 2020, a nice round number with some big moments scheduled.

      I’ve always been intrigued with the concept of accelerating through the curve.  In racing that means slowing down in the first half of the apex and accelerating in the second half. Using momentum to your advantage.  In life momentum starts with casting consistent, daily votes.  That applies in your career, with exercise and weight loss, and writing.  The lack of momentum also applies in each of these areas, so why build anchors when you can build kites?  Or to return to that zen philosophy, you need to chop for a long time to fell the tree, you can’t do it with one swing.

    • Progress Whispers

      Scales don’t lie, and this week I added a couple of travel pounds. Sales meetings involve unnatural portion sizes repeated often, with snacks in between. And so the pants were a bit more snug than when I arrived. That seemed to be the consensus as all 90% of us immediately agreed to lose 10 pounds by a trade show in September. Peer pressure multiplied by $20 each generally does the trick.

      “Progress…. is quiet. It whispers. Perfectionism screams failures and hides progress.” – Jon Acuff

      Some words jolt you awake and help you see things a bit more clearly. Progress whispers resonated for me this morning. Progress towards our objectives is often painfully slow, and we find ourselves growing frustrated by the level of progress we might be making. Acuff makes another point in highlighting perfectionism as the antagonist to progress, undermining it with its relentless chirping.

      Steve Pressfield describes this as “The Resistance“, Seth Godin calls it our “Lizard Brain“. It’s the inner voice that tells you it’s not good enough and not yet. Godin’s advice is to start pulling the thread anyway, to learn to dance with The Resistance. To ship your work, even if it’s not perfect. The concept of shipping a Minimum Viable Product (MVP) is common in nimble businesses today, but harder to dance with when it comes to writing your first novel or starting a business.

      Sales is a numbers game, and so is losing weight, writing a novel (or blog) or accomplishing any worthwhile objective. Progress whispers, and you need to break it down into the smallest increments to track it just to see any meaningful forward momentum. The 12 burpees I do every morning aren’t all that much, but they add up to 4380 in a year. I’ve noticed the change in my body even from this small amount, done repeatedly and consistently over time. So it is with sales calls, writing daily, and other accretive activity.

      Losing weight is tougher as you get older. You may say it’s because our metabolism slows down. I’d certainly say that too. But then I look at the guy I went to college with who rides his bike every day and hikes the rest of the time. His high activity level has bought him washboard abs, without sacrificing career or family. Another friend who embraced CrossFit shortly before turning 50 is now in better shape than when he was 25. No, “metabolism” is “Lizard Brain” in disguise.

      Activity over time equals identity. Athletic, writer, Rainmaker, parent, spouse and trusted friend are all identities I try to embrace. I’m a little better at a few than others but hope to make progress with each. My progress may be a faint whisper but it’s progress nonetheless. Best for me to listen for it more. Throwing $20 dollars and the threat of peer ridicule to the mix amplifies the goal a bit too.

    • Choices & Habits, Hell Yes or No

      Mulling over this Tweet from James Clear today:

      The 2 keys to Elite Results

      1) Make great choices

      2) Build great habits

      Your choices – what you work on, who you work with – create leverage.  A good initial choice can deliver 100x payoff.

      Your habits unleash leverage.  Without great habits, great choices are just potential energy.

      It’s hard to argue with this.  The challenge is in figuring out the great choices in life versus the good or good enough choices.  Which brings me to the Hell Yes or No rule from Derek Sivers.  Yesterday I spoke with a company that’s been trying to recruit me.  I’m not particularly interested in leaving the company I’m at because I feel like I’ve developed some decent momentum.  But a guy I greatly respected worked at this other company and he’s influenced me enough to consider the position instead of saying no right off the bat like I’ve done with other inquiries.  But then I thought of Siver’s Hell Yes or No, and realized that this wasn’t a Hell Yes, so it was indeed a No.  It may or may not prove to be a great choice over time, but it was a useful tool for getting me there.  Ultimately I think it will prove itself accurate the majority of the time.

      I had a business lunch today and the gentlemen I was meeting with mentioned he’d lost 30 pounds by eating right and getting up early to work out.  We both discussed the art of getting up early, and agreed that it begins with going to bed early.  You want 7-8 hours of sleep?  Go to bed earlier.  You want to lose 30 pounds?  Work out consistently when you wake up early.  Without great habits, great choices are just potential energy…

      Another quote that seems to be circulating today:

      “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on.  But that’s not what it means at all.  It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are.” – Steve Jobs

      Today I was going to write about a dozen things, and none of them made it past the first sentence.  There are days when the writing doesn’t come as easy to me.  But screw it, I’m still working to write every day and cast another vote for what that identity.  One day its about habits, the next history, the next turkeys.  I write about what inspires me that day.  Sometimes it comes from observation, sometimes from reading, sometimes from reflection.  Always an eclectic mix of whatever comes to mind.  Not exactly how you build 1000 true fans, but then again I’ve never been one to follow all of the rules.

    • Identity

      For all the goals and strategic plans I’ve put together in my lifetime, I don’t believe it all led to a massive leap forward in fitness levels, or weight, or quota attainment, or some other goal I’ve had along the way.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in goals and working plans.  But identity trumps all.  And over time, what you identify yourself as is much more critical to who you are in the end.

      “No, that’s not me.” – Arya Stark, Game of Thrones

      “The identity itself becomes the enforcer.  You do it because it’s who you are and it feels good to be you.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits

      Identity changes over time of course, hammered into shape by life experiences, hardships and setback, lucky breaks, being born in the right place at the right time, and the people you surround yourself with.  I grew up thinking of myself as a son, grandson, brother, cousin, nephew, friend.  Later I evolved into a student, athlete, hiker, rower, mountain biker, sailor, salesperson, manager, husband, father.  And along the way I’ve dropped a few things while adding others.  I don’t mountain bike anymore, but I still had my mountain bike from when I was 24 until I was 48.  I kept telling myself I’d get back to it eventually until I told myself eventually wasn’t happening.

      I’ve seen friends go from couch potatoes to avid, frequent hikers and change their bodies and outlook on life in the process.  I’ve experienced and watched others deal with depression, loss of family members and job loss, divorce, health scares and relocation to faraway places.  Ultimately it all impacts your identity – who you believe you are – and changes it.  But identity works the other way too – when you identify yourself as a resilient, disciplined athlete you’re much less likely to react to setbacks with destructive behavior.

      Time and bad habits erode the best of foundations, so reinforcing identity with positive habits is the best way I know maintain a solid base.  I’ve watched my wife run consistently for the entire time that I’ve known her, and it’s a core part of her identity.  We have more 5K t-shirts in this house than I can count, and everywhere I look there’s another road race medal hanging off of something or other.  But it’s an identity that makes her healthier and more resilient than a lot of other people in the same age bracket.  Her consistency of effort is admirable and a source of inspiration for me as I fight year in and year out to build a similar level of consistency in my workouts.

      I’ve been doing the same routine all month, and honestly I’m not making a ton of progress from a weight loss standpoint, but I am getting stronger, I am reading and writing more, I am feeling better about myself and I am reinforcing a new identity as an disciplined person who works out every morning, is an avid reader and consistent writer.  That reading and writing part of my identity has led me to seek out new places on the map, and to chase down long forgotten ghosts and dance with them across history.

      James Clear’s Atomic Habits was a timely read for me, and I’ve referenced it here and in many other blog posts since I read it.  Perhaps the one phrase of his resonates more than any other, and that is in building habits slowly, at a point that feels like it’s not work, we are casting votes for your new identity.  Such a simple phrase, and yet it instantly highlights exactly what daily routines, habits and systems are doing; working in your favor or against you.

      New Years Eve, birthdays, new quarters or months; all offer an opportunity to reflect on the past, determine what went right, what needs to be improved upon, and what changes to your routines and system need to change.  Of course, every moment offers the same opportunity.  What I was five minutes ago impacts who I am now (so don’t eat that donut), and what I do now – this moment – casts a vote for what my identity will be now and in the future.  Simple right?

       

    • Pruning

      “Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savor the time you have.” – Paul Graham

      Spring is a good time to assess the yard, clean up the debris that accumulates over winter that was covered over in snow, fix things that need fixing, and prune the trees and shrubs to clean up any winter kill and promote growth of healthy new shoots.  I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      I watch less television than ever.  I moved all my social media apps into a file called Time Suckers.  I deleted Words With Friends and other such games.  I steer clear of negative people who infect the air with poisonous rhetoric.  I eliminate a meal more often.  I’m not a monk mind you, but I’ve gotten better at pruning over the years.

      Instead, I write more than I’ve written since college.  I exercise every morning even if just a little bit.  I read immediately after exercise, even if just a little bit.  I research the places I go and look for interesting things to see and do there and try to get to those places and then write about them to help me remember what I saw and learned during my visit.

      I’m more present in the moment.  Not just the easy stuff like smelling the roses when they’re in bloom, but the harder stuff that’s easy to ignore.  I wash the dishes, sweep the floor and do the laundry.  I call old friends and family more often, and try to see them when I can.  And in work break out of the familiar routines and make new contacts, learn new skills and push myself out of the comfort zone.  I’ve gotten better promoting growth over the years.  And savoring the time that I have.

      I was going to end this blog post right there, and in fact did publish it.  Then I read Brain Pickings today and apparently I’m not the only one thinking this way today.  Maria Popova tackled time management in her own way, with quotes from Walt Whitman, Seneca and others.  So instead of ending this post on my own observations, I’ll lean in on Seneca to wrap up this post:

      “Set yourself free for your own sake; gather and save your time, which til lately has been forced from you, or filched away, or has merely slipped from your hands…  Certain moments are torn from us… some are gently removed…. others glide beyond our reach.  The most disgraceful kind of loss, however, is that due to carelessness.” – Seneca

    • Chin Up

      Rowing is a great exercise, and as I’ve mentioned I’ve gotten reacquainted with it the last couple of weeks as I work to re-establish my morning exercise habit.  When you row alone in a basement there are a few ways to pass the time on long rows; play music, listen to a podcast or some other audio program, or watch something on television.  More often than not I opt out of all of these and just row in silence.  Or more appropriately, I listen to myself.

      During a million meter rowing campaign I did a few years ago as a fundraiser for a friend of mine, I injured myself somewhat early on in my attempt by overextending.  In rowing that means coming up to the catch position and lunging forward for a bit more.  The only way to do this is to drop your head, kick your seat back and extend your hands forward.  When I was younger I thought this gave me an extra 2-3 inches of drive.  But the cost isn’t worth the benefit.  Over-extension on the erg enforces bad habits on the water where balance and swing are critical, and they expose you to potential injury.

      So as I row since then, I remind myself to keep my chin up.  Sometimes physically looking up at the ceiling to emphasize it.  There’s an obvious metaphor about keeping one’s chin up in the sense of being positive.  But in this case I think of “chin up” as reinforcing good habits; not reaching for things that aren’t worthwhile and focusing on things that will bring you benefit in the long run.  I know my weaknesses at this point in my life, but I also know my strengths, and I work to emphasize those instead.  Sometimes I just need to remind myself to make adjustments and stop lunging for things that don’t matter in the long run.

    • Stoicism and Daily Habits

      I’m pondering a pair of quotes from the stoics.  They go well together of course; each a call to action.  And these quotes also pair well with two books I’m reading right now.

      “Give yourself fully to your endeavors.  Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal.  The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths” – Epictetus

      “Not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard.  But to recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too.” – Marcus Aurelius

      I’ve been reading a gem of a book, The Daily Stoic, by Ryan Holiday.  This book, as the name indicates, is a daily practice.  Get up in the morning, read the one page quote and thoughts on it from Holiday.  In these days of phone addiction, this is a ritual that I’m enjoying.  I usually switch immediately to reading a few pages of whatever book I’m onto at the moment.  At the moment that means Atomic Habits by James Clear.  Brilliantly crafted book with actionable steps for the reader to establish better daily habits.

      Action is the trick.  Today I had a good day because I took action on the objectives I’d laid out for myself.  Tomorrow I hope to build on today’s momentum with more action and perhaps some solid results.  Consistent daily effort, over time, leads to results.  Nothing new in this, and yet so hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes.  That’s one reason I read so many books like this.  They reinforce the message, dilute the impact of the crushing negativity on social media, the news and from the fellowship of the miserable.

      You are the average of the people you hang with the most.  So I choose to hang out with authors and thought leaders who lead me in the direction I want to go in.  Reading and podcasts offer much more than television and talk radio.  So we’ll see how far of a leap forward I take.  But staying where you are in a rapidly changing world is really going backwards.  And I’m not going to go backwards.