And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
— Kahlil Gibran, On Friendship

A long conversation about friendship last night has me thinking about it again this morning. I once reminded people in a wedding speech that there are two kinds of friends—friends of convenience and friends by choice. We learn over time who will stay the course with us, and who will fade away. It’s up to each of us to put in the work needed to keep any relationship of consequence going.

Those who would use us to fill their own needs without reciprocating are not friends, they’re emotional leeches. Too harsh? Perhaps, but isn’t it fair to our emotional health to step back and ask ourselves, are they filling or sapping my spirit? The thing about a leech is they will hold on for dear life, making it hard to dislodge them from our lives without a little pain. But once separated, they no longer have the power to sap our life force.

My favorite line of Gibran’s poem is not included in the excerpt above. It’s this little wisdom nugget: “Your friend is your needs answered.” What is a friend but another soul who fills a void in our lives? Be aware of who is filling us with joy and purpose, and spend more time with those who amplify our lives in positive ways. For they, friend, are truly friends worthy of our precious time.