Alexandersmap

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    • Transformation

      Don’t just learn, experience.
      Don’t just read, absorb.
      Don’t just change, transform.
      Don’t just relate, advocate.
      Don’t just promise, prove.
      Don’t just criticize, encourage.
      Don’t just think, ponder.
      Don’t just take, give.
      Don’t just see, feel.
      Don’t just dream, do.
      Don’t just hear, listen.
      Don’t just talk, act.
      Don’t just tell, show.
      Don’t just exist, live.
      — Roy T. Bennett, Don’t Just

      Spring is the season of transformation, and it has surely been on my mind. Go to places like Disney World or Las Vegas or anywhere where people don’t know your name and you’ll witness people being transformed into someone else. Look in a mirror or inward and you might just see it in yourself.

      We all want to be some better version of ourselves in some way or another. Transformation is our ticket to making our vision a reality. It doesn’t have to be limited to some Jedi character we turn into with a plastic lightsaber and a cape. It can be a compass heading we steer our lives towards. Decide what to be and go be it.

      To be transformed is simply to shift our belief in what is and what will be into something entirely different. We owe it to ourselves to make that shift more inspiring, and dare we believe, more thrilling. To spring forward towards some exciting new idea of what’s possible. Can you see it? What are we waiting for?

    • Too Silent to be Real

      Oh, there was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run
      When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun
      Long before the white man and long before the wheel
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
      And many are the dead men
      Too silent to be real
      — Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian Railroad Trilogy

      Isn’t it funny how a song firmly sticks in your head when it has no business being there at that particular moment in your life? I’m about as far from majestic mountains and silent dark forests as one can be, and yet this is my ear worm. I can think of far worse. Welcome to my head Gordon.

      I subscribe to the theory that wherever we are, we ought to be there, and I’d like to believe I’m fully present where I am now, doing what I’m doing, no matter what the soundtrack is playing in the background. Presence is simply awareness and appreciation for the world as it unfolds. And here we are.

      Presence (for me anyway) also demands that we are aware of and appreciate all that brought us here. The sacrifices of previous generations that built the world we currently live in, the people in our lives who have surrounded us with love and inordinate patience, the beauty of the natural environment and the courage of those who defend it against those who would exploit it.

      For all the noise in this maddening world, there is still serenity to be found wherever we are. Writing this obscure little blog post that you’ve somehow finished reading (no doubt to figure out the connection between the lyrics and all that followed), I found the silence I’d been looking for. It was here all along, awaiting my attention. Real is what we focus our attention on. So be here, now.

    • Pattern Breaking

      “If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow — you are not understanding yourself.”
      — Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do

      Breaking from routine creates space through disruption. I write this out of ritual, and yet I am transformed by change simply by being somewhere else than I normally am. Perspective changes because there is change all around us. We can’t help but change as a result.

      That is the power of travel, or job change, or simply deciding that the routine that so firmly established our identity is simply not what we want anymore and forcefully inserting a new routine in place of the old. Pattern breaking begins when we lift our head out of the fog of routine and see where we’d rather go.

      Routine, and the rituals of habit that make up our days, deserves scrutiny. Is this who we have become? Is this where we want to be? What has a greater hold on us than our habits and routine? What leads us to something greater than awareness and the willingness to change?

      Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not insisting that you change, or even that I change. The ask here is simply to be aware of where autopilot is carrying each of us. Beyond that, the choice is ours whether the pattern suits us or not.

    • The Imaginative Life

      “Millions long for eternity who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” — Susan Ertz

      We have enough time. We simply don’t know how to use it. I’ve been accused of being a productivity geek in this blog, but that’s not it. I’m more of a life optimization geek (surely a geek either way). To optimize our time does not require a Franklin Covey planner, a slick new app or some self-help book, it requires a creative imagination and the boldness to set a dream in motion. Move it or lose it applies equally well to our creative use of time as it does our fitness.

      To do something interesting with each day is in our power. So be powerful with thy time. And thy time deserves our most imaginative creativity. When we are imaginative with our days, and string enough creative moments together, we build something special.

      We may choose to be as creative with building a day as we dare—but don’t dare take the opportunity for granted. Each day squandered is lost. Each optimized is a stepping stone to a greater life. Just imagine that.

    • Facing Cliffs

      “If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”
      — Ray Bradbury

      We know when we are facing a cliff. And surely we know when we’ve fallen off the edge of one. Cliffs are big, life-changing moments. We know there’s no going back to the way things used to be. We simply have to navigate the cliff as best we can and try to survive the encounter. We know the alternative outcome is eternal.

      We face cliffs all the time. I’m currently watching a couple of people in my life dealing with the massive cliff of growing frail. They felt it was sudden, we saw it coming for years. We don’t always see the cliff we’re moving towards until there’s no getting around it. We reach a point of no return in life. Deal with the cliff.

      There’s another kind of cliff, isn’t there? It’s the cliff that we choose to leap off on our own. It’s quitting a job to chase a dream. It’s sailing off for unfamiliar waters. It’s doing something so audacious that all of our friends think we’re crazy, even as they quietly envy us for trying.

      Intellect has a way of holding us back. We think too much sometimes. Sure, it may keep us alive in times of trouble, but we ought to ask, are we really living? Or simply going through the motions until we reach some cliff we somehow never saw coming, despite all the signs?

      Developing the courage and strength to leap begins with smaller cliffs successfully navigated. Be bold more often, and see where it leads us. Ratchet up the size of the cliff and leap into a few chasms now and then, just to see how it goes. That’s not being ridiculous—keep the limbs, reputation and healthy marriage intact, but step beyond some of those expectations previously established for ourselves and see where it leads.

      The point is, the cliffs are coming for us one way or the other. Why not choose the cliffs we’d love to leap off, just to see how the view is? Maybe we’ll soar, or maybe we’ll crash to the bottom and have to climb back up again. At least we’ll have learned a thing or two about ourselves in the face of cliffs.

    • A Routine Discovery

      I do not miss most of the things about business travel, but I miss some things. Mostly, I miss discovery. I delighted in new—new historical sites to stumble upon, new restaurants, new people to talk to, new stories to discover. But I’ve learned that it wasn’t about new, it was about discovery. I still travel, just not with a day chock full of meetings to muck up my time to explore wherever I found myself.

      Last night I discovered a new way to make beef stew, a new sourdough boule to dip into it and a delightful new Grenache Syrah to pair with it. It turned an ordinary Monday evening meal into something more lovely. The company was quite lovely too. One doesn’t have to travel far to find something new, one simply has to be open to discovery.

      Last year I opted out of drinking alcohol a few months. That was its own discovery as I learned to move through days and weeks without so much as a sip. Mostly I learned that I didn’t miss it much when I opted out, I just shifted my attention to what was there to be discovered instead of the next bottle of wine or the latest IPA from the local brewer. One thing you discover is how much less you spend on the tab when you aren’t drinking. When I eventually went back to a glass of wine, I savored it without having craved it. A good sign I suppose.

      I’ve come to savor a cold glass of water for all that it offers. The body celebrates that cold glass of water far more than it does that glass of wine. The wine is for the soul, and ought to be consumed in an appropriate ratio. When ordering a drink, consider what experience am I trying to achieve with this order? We can discover a lot about ourselves in that moment.

      The key to any discovery is not just to being aware, but to turning away from our routine and beliefs that we may gain a new perspective. Sometimes that’s done far from home, but sometimes it’s simply in how we make dinner on a Monday night. Wherever we are, we ought to be fully there. So what will make today altogether unique from yesterday? That is today’s new mission, should we dare to be a little different.

    • Gathering Towards

      “Your soul is the priestess of memory, selecting, sifting, and ultimately gathering your vanishing days toward presence.”
      — John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

      If all that we’ve experienced has brought us to here and now, and we are the sum of each of these days, it follows that whatever days we have left ahead of us are destined to be gathered as well. So why not raise the bar with heightened experience, greater expectations of ourselves, and a healthier approach to living? Awareness is seeing all that is, but also all that could be.

      Thinking in possibilities is optimistic. It’s the dreamer within, imagining best possible outcomes. We all need to follow a dream, but we also need to root ourselves in reality. The better approach may be to also think in probabilities. Probabilities are calculated. They’re pragmatic. They’re based on facts. Now I know facts are funny things nowadays, but it turns out they still work in the real world of moving ourselves from here to there.

      To design a life, we ought to begin with the end in mind. Not the very end, but the desired outcome of this particular phase of our lives. We may think of our lives as a series of projects that we bring to conclusion. These projects define us and build our CV (Curriculum Vitae), qualifying us for even more ambitious projects. A career, a soul, our physical fitness, education and relationships with others and ourselves are built from all that we gather in each phase of our life. Drift too much in any one area and we see that area suffer.

      This is where awareness comes in handy. We learn to see the gaps forming in our lives, and to formulate plans to fill them. If one plan doesn’t work, try another, and another still. What is the probable outcome of establishing a better fitness and nutrition routine today and every day? What is the probable outcome of reading at least ten pages of a great book every day? What is the probable outcome of putting the damned phone down and being fully present with that person we’re talking to?

      We are each either climbing towards personal excellence (arete) or sliding away from it. Yes, we are the sum of our days, but that one step forward or those two steps back don’t define us, it’s simply where we are starting from as we begin our next day’s climb. Every act gathers us towards some outcome. What shall it be?

    • Still in the Game

      Isn’t it strange
      That princes and kings,
      And clowns that caper
      In sawdust rings,
      And common people
      Like you and me
      Are builders for eternity?

      Each is given a bag of tools,
      A shapeless mass,
      A book of rules;
      And each must make—
      Ere life is flown—
      A stumbling block
      Or a stepping stone.
      — R.L. Sharpe, A Bag of Tools

      This poem has been lingering in my life for decades. I don’t know when, really, for it sat quietly on the page of a book, corner folded over and book cover flap also marking the page, awaiting its time to be rediscovered. Welcome back.

      Life surely has flown. In fact it’s actively flying quite rapidly. And we are still in the game. We, with our bags of tools and our grand ideas taking shape, following the rules or breaking them. What matters in the end is how we use the time. Ben Franklin reminded us not to squander it, for it is the stuff of life. Has life been fully stuffed or are we feeling a little unfulfilled? What’s done is done, and what will be will be. Do something with what all that’s left.

      There are so many ways to stumble or to squander. Ah, but there remains so many ways to climb ahead to something greater for ourselves. We ought to rise to meet the moment, don’t you think? Surely, this time capsule of a poem, this gift from a forgotten day brought to the present and now shared with you, dear reader, offers some clue for what to do now. This is no time to clown around.

    • The Right Direction

      “A man’s rootage is more important than his leafage.” — Woodrow Wilson

      At some point in life that is hard to pinpoint, filling gaps became more important than reaching upward and outward. Is that a sign of wisdom, or a desire for it? Personally, there are still too many gaps to fill before I’d be considered wise. I should think being curious is enough at this stage of the game.

      Wisdom is not the same thing as being knowledgeable. I know many extremely intelligent people who have no common sense whatsoever. They’re charming and particularly useful on trivia night, but not people you’d seek counsel from if you needed advice on a career move or relationship. For that we seek those who have been there before and lived to tell the tale. And more, are willing to lend an ear or a shoulder as needed.

      How does wisdom develop? Not in leafage—forever blown about in the winds of change, fashion and trendiness. It takes roots to grow wisdom. Stillness of mind, steady in ritual, and deliberate with thought, reading and deeper conversation with those who have seen a few things themselves. The wise are continuously growing more deeply rooted and anchored in first principles.

      The thing is, the less one dwells on the leafage, the more one may look deeper within. This all leads us somewhere. We are all here to solve that greatest of questions, why are we here, in this place and time? It’s far less scary to stay above the surface on such things than it is to dig deeper. But isn’t that a shallow existence?

      So it is that this writer strives to go deeper still. That may make this blog more interesting or less so. But it remains a sincere quest for wisdom and insight. It’s no longer striving for success (whatever that is), it’s seeking deeper meaning. And that, friend, requires growth in the right direction.

    • Kindred Spirits

      Why worry
      There should be laughter after pain
      There should be sunshine after rain
      These things have always been the same
      So why worry now
      — Dire Straights, Why Worry

      I met a lovely woman maybe 30 years older than me. She is an ambassador for joyful living, shuffling along in an assisted living facility with her walker, getting her steps in, saying hello to everyone and talking with those who wish to linger in conversation. It turns out I like to linger in conversation myself, so we hit it off right away. The joyful know immediately when they’ve found someone like themselves.

      On each visit to see family I’ve seen her as well, and the connection grows. Each conversation with this new friend reveals something new. Moving in, she lost her husband almost immediately afterwards. She said that’s how it goes in a life. A couple of years later, the pain is still evident, but so is her presence. She’s living here and now, carrying what was and aware of what will be. The thing about joy is it’s always here, not some time behind or ahead of us. We just need to discover it.

      It has always been so, this ebb and flow. So don’t get too high, and don’t get too low. Living well means to be deliberate in our joyful pursuits and generous with sharing that joy with others. Sometimes a simple hello said the right way offers connection we never expected. We may never pass this way again, so why not take the opportunity to lift and reassure? For there is hope in this world, as long as we keep finding kindred spirits in all sorts of places.