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  • Raise Your Standard

    “Don’t raise a glass. Raise your standard. Be bolder. Be weirder. Be the version of yourself that scares people a little. Because Val wouldn’t want your tears. He’d want your truth.” — Jason Egenberg

    Of the tributes to Val Kilmer that I read over the last few days, Egenberg’s resonated with me the most. The entire post is worth seeking out, but those last few lines are poetry to this blogger. Surely I’ve written each of those lines at one point or another over the years, if only to poke and prod at myself a little more to go and do and be a bolder version of myself. Maybe that resonates with you too.

    Spinning around in circles
    Living it day to day
    And still twenty four hours, maybe sixty good years
    It’s still not that long a stay
    — Jimmy Buffett, Cowboy in the Jungle

    Val Kilmer died young at 65. Jimmy Buffett died at 76, which feels less old than it once did. There was a time when I wouldn’t have thought 65 or 76 was young at all, but try on a decade or five and see how it fits. The fact of the matter is, it’s not that long a stay for all of us. We may never be or want to be famous, but we ought to work to be memorable. At least to those who matter most in this world.

    The thing is, it’s hard to be a version of yourself that scares people a little when there’s just so much to do to keep things on track. We all have people who count on us to show up and to be predictable. Chances are we either owe them money or a return on the investment they’ve made in us. Who are we to ignore that? What of the return on the investment we’ve made in ourselves? As with any sound lifetime investment strategy, we must pay ourselves first.

    It’s really not that long a stay. Imagine one day when we pass on and walk into a bar (in the afterlife there are spirits, aren’t there?) where Val Kilmer and Jimmy Buffett are chatting at a table near the infinity pool (naturally). Fame doesn’t matter a lick when we’re dead, but staying true to oneself resonates. Can we have a seat at that table? Be yourself. That’s all that they would ask of us. So long as we kept raising our standard.

  • The Visit

    Early last week, mentally tapped out and in need of consultation, I visited Author’s Hill at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Concord, Massachusetts. I’ve been there many times now, and the experience has grown from initial discovery and delight at finding the graves of Thoreau, Emerson, Alcott and Hawthorne in such close proximity to each other to visiting to simply say hello again. In a world full of useless noise, sometimes we find inspiration in the quietest places.

    Thinking it clever at the time, I once brought a water bottle filled with some water from Walden Pond to give Henry another sip. There are no such moments of gimmickry nowadays. Now a quiet nod is enough. They and all of their neighbors do whisper: memento mori.

    And isn’t that enough? They did their part in their time. We may choose to do ours now. One day soon enough we’ll join them in infinity. But now? Now is the time to live, friend.

    “Oh, for the years I have not lived, but only dreamed of living.”
    ― Nathaniel Hawthorne

    “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

    “I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

    “The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it straightens itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly will justify you now.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

  • The Things Which Are My Own

    “How can a man preserve his firmness and tranquillity, and at the same time be careful and neither impatient or negligent? If he imitates people who play with dice. The dice are indifferent. How do I know what the numbers will be? I don’t know, but to choose the numbers I want, is in my control. So, in life the main priority is this: distinguish and separate things, and say, ‘”‘the external is not in my power: will is in my power. Where can I find the good and the bad? Within, in the things which are my own.” — Epictetus, Discourses: Complete Books 1 – 4 – Adapted for the Contemporary Reader

    I won’t pretend to be perfect at being alive, but it’s gotten me this far. This morning the sky was a shade of pink that reminded me of the time last year when the aurora borealis washed over the sky. When we see something wonderful like that, are we inclined to celebrate the miraculous moment or wish for something more? To simply savor the pink sky then or this morning is to be alive here and now, instead of forever chasing something more than this.

    The thing is, the world keeps reminding us that we aren’t in control of everything that washes over us. Some things are beautiful, some are ugly or even downright unfair and evil, but it’s all external to us and thus out of our control. We can’t reason with indifference, we can only find the truth that lies within us and hold on for dear life.

    Each day brings another reminder to focus on what is within our control, to influence what we can and to leave the rest to fate. We can’t control some of what washes over us, but we may choose to seek higher ground. We may choose to root ourselves in principle and truth.

    We learn that much of what is beautiful fades with time, but some of it reveals itself to us in momento (in the moment). Are we seeing it at all in our haste and worry? A beautiful life grows from the sapling of awareness. Deeply rooted, we may reach ever higher, while savoring each moment of (and with) clarity and purpose.

  • A Wee Bit of Stubborn Attention

    “People think it’s about self-indulgence or selfishness or something like that. But it isn’t really. It’s about, where is your attention? Where does your attention want to be? … in a world where everything is trying to claim your attention to sell you something or to get you to vote for something or to believe in something, what your attention wants to do is important. And it just is constantly bombarded by other demands.
    Hold on. What is it I liked? What is the thing that really mattered to me? … you really ought to be the shepherd of your own attention. You can’t let that be stolen from you. I think that one of the primary qualities of the artist is stubbornness. And that is what stubbornness is about. It’s about refusing to have your attention stolen.” — Brian Eno, Inside Brian Eno’s Studio | Zane Lowe Interview

    There’s a lot to be distracted about at the moment. Perhaps that is one reason this interview with Brian Eno resonated so well with me. But there’s always distraction—a lifetime of it swirling around us at all times, with the promise of much more to come. This planet has become very distracting indeed. We still ought to do something with the time we have.

    What is that thing? Why is it hiding behind the chorus of obligations and distraction we call a life? Drag it out on stage and let’s hear what kind of voice that thing has. Too shy for a spotlight? We must remember that nothing else matters in our days than bringing that voice to the forefront (I gotta have more cowbell!). It’s now or never for our essential work.

    Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    with your one wild and precious life?
    —Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

    There are a few ways to hear that voice. We may try to amplify it, by placing ourselves in an environment where the voice is prioritized above all, or, if that’s not enough, we can remove all the other noise, that we may finally hear what that timid voice is whispering to us. But there’s another way, and that’s to find a chorus that works with our voice to find a truth that we might not have found otherwise. In such moments, the choir soars to new heights.

    Whatever our path to creative expression, our time grows short. We ought to do what we can with what we have. That begins with being a little selfish with our attention. Sure, we may let the world speak to us, for it’s not shy with its demands, but really, what was that thing that really mattered most to us? Why not give that a voice today? If only to discover where a wee bit of stubborn attention may bring us.

  • Up and Away

    “I think the misconception people have about artists is that artists walk around with sort of unrealized things in their head. And the process of being an artist is making those become real. But I don’t really know any artist that works that way. You might have an idea of where you want to start, but the process of making something is the process of starting to understand it as well… You find your way through making it.”— Brian Eno, Inside Brian Eno’s Studio | Zane Lowe Interview

    I can feel every artist nodding in understanding when Eno said these words. I certainly felt the truth in it within my own work. Every day I sit to write and get swept up and away by the process of finding something to say. The work takes me where it will. My job is simply to show up and to stay politely focused. Eno emphasized his thoughts on this process by referencing the famous Picasso quote about it during this interview:

    “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” — Pablo Picasso

    It’s a relief to step into Eno’s studio in such a loud, jarring time in our collective history. Doesn’t the world need more thoughtful immersion in art? Now more than ever. And that’s where we come in, friend. We are here to do the work, however it comes to us, and to find out just how far we might go.

    This all transcends art, of course. We’re all just channeling life through our work, whatever that work is. Inspiration sweeps us up and away in a state of flow to someplace we hardly imagined when we began. And when the work is done, we have a quiet moment of realization with it where we discover what we have created before releasing it to the wild and beginning again.

  • What Would Do?

    And, if you have not been enchanted by this adventure—
        your life—
    what would do for you?
    — Mary Oliver, To Begin With, the Sweet Grass

    There’s still time today to find adventure. The day is still young, and we are young enough to be bold—and old enough to play this hand wisely. Seek adventure, as Thoreau whispers from his root-covered grave in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. Be enchanted, Oliver whispers from her grave in Amarillo.

    And so we must heed the call, with the sum of who we are, to multiply our experiences. There is no deferring with living. Do the math: Every day we subtract another.

    Yes, these are distracting times, and things like adventure and enchantment may seem frivolous when there’s so much at stake in the world. But this is our time, and these are our days to be alive. Do something that stirs and inspires. The world will still be there, miserable as ever, when we return to it.

    What would do for you? What are you waiting for? Do. Be. While there’s still time.

  • Still Possible

    “When people believe that they have no power to control events, they tend to disengage themselves from efforts to shape their destinies.” — Albert Bandura, Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social Cognitive Theory, 1986

    I became aware of the undercurrent of outrage years ago, when people I knew listened to talk radio all day at work and while driving. What can you possibly talk about for that many hours that would hold a listener’s attention? Well, things that stir the pot, that’s what. That which stirs emotion holds attention. And so people were suddenly emotional about their right to not wear a seatbelt, or the fact that there were still tolls on the highway even though they felt the highway was paid for. Or they were angry at the decisions made by the front office of the Red Sox for not spending more than the Yankees. Outrageous!

    Then there were the 24-hour news channels. That’s a lot of information to digest, all the time. And then came the internet and the rise of the platforms. And now we’re deep in it. People believe the deep state is the government. The deep state is technology driven by the desperate need for clicks and followers, which builds personal fortunes. When people tell us to follow the money they aren’t barking up the wrong tree. But once people have their beliefs, they’ll trust the people telling them to find another tree but the money tree they’ve grown for themselves.

    It’s all so exhausting, this chorus of barking up so many wrong trees. And anyone who barks up the right tree is quickly dragged down and discredited by the people protecting their money trees. The press used to be perceived as courageous guardians of the truth, before the money tree people figured out that attacking them turned the barkers against them. or taking some of the personal fortune and buying the platform to change the message entirely.

    It’s all around us, and the only way out is to have the outraged hoards turn on their own. The rest of us have to find a way to survive, and to gently help others see where the right tree was all along. When they think it’s their idea they won’t turn on the messenger. That’s been the playbook all along, we just let the bastards get away with it.

    The thing is, we’ve been conditioned to believe we don’t have any power to influence events. How does someone living paycheck-to-paycheck compete against a billionaire tech bro who buys Twitter and blatantly buys votes? It feels hopeless because it essentially is hopeless for one person to stand up against the will of the wealthy and powerful. But one person can convince another, who can in turn convince another. And eventually there’s power in numbers. That’s how this pendulum swung so far towards autocracy, and it’s now it can swing back towards democratic ideals.

    To get there, we must each focus on what we can control, instead of wallowing in the despair of the uncontrollable. We can control what we consume for information today. Take a walk, listen to music, read a poem. Disengage from the outrage and find sustenance in the quiet truth of this miraculous moment. And then quietly get back to work building a better future that is within our control. It’s hard to believe, but it’s still possible.

  • Stop Taking It for Granted

    “A man took his new hunting dog out on a trial hunt. Presently he shot a duck that fell into the lake. The dog walked over the water, picked the duck up and brought it to his master.
    The man was flabbergasted! He shot another duck. Once again, while he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the dog walked over the water and retrieved the duck.
    Hardly daring to believe what he had seen, he called his neighbor for a shoot the following day. Once again, each time he or his neighbor hit a bird the dog would walk over the water and bring the bird in. The man said nothing. Neither did his neighbor.
    Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, he blurted out, “Did you notice anything strange about that dog?”
    The neighbor rubbed his chin pensively. “Yes,” he finally said. “Come to think of it, I did! The son of a gun can’t swim!”
    It isn’t as if life is not full of miracles. It’s more than that: it is miraculous, and anyone who stops taking it for granted will see it at once.” ― Anthony de Mello, The Prayer Of The Frog, Vol. 1

    We may choose to see what we want to see in this lifetime. The world at the moment offers many things from which we may react. But the reaction itself changes the way we see everything else in our lives. Thus, we move through our lives seeing everything through the lens of our beliefs and our reaction to things that challenge or support these beliefs.

    I can know that I’ve been held captive by my own beliefs, and also see what I believe holds others in theirs. But there’s the trap. One belief influences the other, and we move through life blind and captive behind our lenses.

    This way of seeing the world holds us captive until we release ourselves from this state. But it feels easier to just stay sheltered in our beliefs. When we stop trying to validate all we believe we may finally see just how miraculous this whole state of being alive truly is.

    At least that’s what I believe.

  • Little Flower

    “The little flower that opens in the meadows lives and dies in a season; but what agencies have concentrated themselves to produce it! So the human soul lives in the midst of heavenly help.” — Elizabeth Palmer Peabody

    Elizabeth Palmer Peabody was a teacher and a publisher, born in Billerica, Massachusetts, tutored in Greek by Emerson, the first to publish Thoreau, a leading voice in the education of children and the philosophy of transcendentalism. A little flower who moved with the giants and made her mark in her season.

    We are moving through time, together for this brief moment and then apart. Perhaps we’ll meet again on our timelines, perhaps not. We may savor the moment for all it offers or leave it grateful for the lessons we’ve accumulated.

    Learning is a lifelong mission, honed through self-awareness that in turn stirs a belief within that we must become more than this. May that feeling last a lifetime. For that which is not growing is dying, and we have more to do in this world, you and I. Grow and produce something of consequence. Our season is not over yet, little flower.

  • Creating Amongst the Foolish

    “Are these sandcastles my triumphs? Of what divine substance are castles that are not sandcastles made?” — Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

    “A child knows that the doll is not real, and yet he or she treats it as real, even weeping disconsolately when it breaks. The art of the child is that of making things unreal. Blessèd is that mischievous stage in life, when love is negated by the absence of sex, when reality is negated by play, treating as real things that are not. Let me return to childhood and stay there forever, caring nothing for the values that grown men give to things or for the relationships that grown men establish between them.” — Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

    There are many ways to navigate the world. We can feel in control of our fate or feel like it’s all meaningless anyway and float through life without agency. Existentialism vs. nihilism (with an assist from nihilism’s close friend absurdism). Pessoa leaned closer to nihilism and absurdism for my existentialist tastes, but I know that the truth lies somewhere in between our strongest beliefs on either side. So two quotes from Fernando to kick us off.

    We may believe that the world is currently being run by children playing with toys. That the adults have been kicked to the curb and we’re entering a regressive period in our collective history. Looking around, it’s easy to get caught up in the childish absurdity of people in positions of power. We must recognize that they’re building their sandcastles and one day they will all be swept away like the grains of sand that they are. Planet Earth and the universe beyond it will continue indifferently without any of us.

    The existentialist in me believes we ought to carry on discovering our own meaning and purpose anyway. To create beauty in a world craving it, even as the nihilists work to tear down those old castles. Where they favor chaos, we may find deeper meaning in creating order within our own lives, or at least within our own minds. Remember Viktor Frankl:

    “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

    As I was writing this, I thought I’d see what artificial intelligence would do in this instance. ChatGPT offered an answer so aligned with my way of thinking that I thought I’d simply quote it verbatim. Here it is:

    “An existentialist in a world dominated by nihilists would likely focus on three key things:

    1. Personal Meaning and Authenticity – While nihilists might argue that life is inherently meaningless, an existentialist would counter that meaning is something individuals must create for themselves. They would emphasize living authentically, making choices that reflect personal values rather than succumbing to the indifference of nihilism.
    2. Freedom and Responsibility – Existentialists believe that individuals are free to shape their own lives, but with that freedom comes responsibility. In a nihilistic world where others may see no reason to act ethically or strive for purpose, an existentialist would insist that each person is responsible for defining and upholding their own values.
    3. Engagement and Action – Rather than retreating into despair or apathy (which nihilism can sometimes encourage), an existentialist would advocate for active engagement with life. Whether through art, relationships, or personal projects, they would see action as a means of affirming existence despite the lack of inherent meaning.

    Essentially, where nihilism sees a void, existentialism sees an opportunity to create.”

    The thing is, I don’t believe the world is full of nihilists. I do believe that they’re dominating the conversation now, having ascended to positions of power where they can kick down the castles built by others. It’s best to take the long view in such moments as this. Instead of focusing all of one’s energy on reacting to the castles they’ve kicked down, build a new one, stronger than the one before.

    Remember Whitman’s poem amidst the nihilism and strife of his time:

    Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
    Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
    Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
    Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
    Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
    Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
    The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

    Answer.
    That you are here—that life exists and identity,
    That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

    — Walt Whitman, O Me! O Life!

    Here we are, the existentialists amongst the endless trains of the faithless and foolish. What are we to do in such a world? Create, friend. Create beauty in this maddening world. Carry the torch, that others may find their way too. For this too shall pass. The powerful play will go on.