Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • Trade Value

      “I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.” —Bill Hicks

      A proper career should be built on helping as many people solve problems, in the most efficient way, as possible. Making money is simply keeping score of the life we’re trading for others. When we add high value, we should make more money…. in theory. Alas, the system is gamed towards the wealth accumulators. I believe philosophers, teachers and healthcare workers ought to make more than stockbrokers, but I don’t get to set the rules.

      To then take all that life traded for money and exchange it for frivolous stuff is the biggest waste of our time. What is arguably more valuable is an exchange of greater experiences in a lifetime for that money earned helping others. It’s the best of both worlds when you think about it.

      The game of consumerism is often fatal to a great life. Life is measured in time, but also how in how we spend that time. Magical moments sprinkled throughout a lifetime, or better, spilling over from abundance, add to a life well-lived. That’s what I call a great trade.

    • The Choices We Make

      “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

      We who live in free societies have agency. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way as the world works to impose its will on us, but we can make choices and take action that will take us towards our desired outcome. No matter how crazy life gets at times, we must remind ourselves that we choose how to react to circumstances. The choices others make may impact our own, but the choices we make are still, and always, the choices we make.

      Some never stop blaming others and fate for the hand they’ve been dealt, without seeing the choices all around them. Without accepting and even embracing fate (amor fati). We must learn to own our choices. It’s part of growing into adulthood. The process of becoming never ends until we do. Knowing this, we ought to always be asking of ourselves, what next? For the process, for now, continues.

    • Illusions of Someday

      First thing we’d climb a tree
      And maybe then we’d talk
      Or sit silently
      And listen to our thoughts
      With illusions of someday
      Cast in a golden light
      No dress rehearsal
      This is our life
      — The Tragically Hip, Ahead by a Century

      It’s no secret that we ought to stop deferring the living of our lives for the illusion of someday. We see the changes in each other and it makes us both feel strange, as Bonnie Raitt put it so beautifully. And seeing the changes around and within us, the urgency to make the most of now burns hotly in our souls.

      I write this in an airport, awaiting my flight, after sending off my daughter on her own flight an hour before mine. That we’re both flying out of the same airport with an hour of each other is serendipitous, that we’re flying to different destinations unfortunate. Such is life: I bought her a sandwich for the flight and hugged an until next time.

      We may look at life flying along and try our best to hold on for dear life. Alternatively, we might simply enjoy the blessing of each moment together and position ourselves well for another day, someday, when we may pick up where we left off. Today will slide into the past just as surely as all the rest. What will we remember of it?

    • Sinking In

      “The truth is always an abyss. One must — as in a swimming pool — dare to dive from the quivering springboard of trivial everyday experience and sink into the depths, in order to later rise again — laughing and fighting for breath — to the now doubly illuminated surface of things. Follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.” ― Franz Kafka

      “The meaning of life is that it stops. Only the moment counts. It determines life.” — Franz Kafka

      The truth is, I’m way overbooked this weekend. Life stacks up its moments some days, and leave you wanting for more others. Ours is not to reason why, as Tennyson put it, ours is just to do or die (three quotes dropped and I’ve barely started writing—imagine where this post is going). The point is, we ought not question the crazy moments any more than the quiet moments, but savor them all just the same.

      I celebrate and savor and seek to capture the things I’d forget one day, that I might remember. I’m not gifted with a photographic memory, but I’m blessed with an inclination to document the moment with a picture or a note in the journal that will jog it all back one day. I think the truly blessed are those who recognize the fragility of it all and wrap themselves in the blanket of now. I’m not declaring I have it all figured out, merely that I’m aware of the time passing by. Here and now are all that matters. We ought to let that sink in before it all flies away.

      We are all collecting experiences, big and small, and building a lifetime of memories to store them. Knowing we’re the sum of our parts, I mourn the things I’ll say no to in my days just as much as I relish the things that are heck yeahs. We must never defer what we may do now, unless we’re embracing something else just as profoundly interesting for us. And that’s the underlying truth in this jumble of words and thoughts coming to a blessed conclusion: we must relentlessly sink deep into that which interests us most profoundly. And not someday, but now.

    • Learning to Fly

      “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
      — Kurt Vonnegut

      A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
      Condition grounded but determined to try
      Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
      Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I
      — Pink Floyd, Learning to Fly

      Any self-respecting rock n’ roll fan knows that there are a few songs with the title Learning to Fly, and I love them all. We can argue about which gets your heart rate racing more, or any such thing like that, but for my money Pink Floyd’s song is the best of the bunch lyrically. Foo Fighters fans and Tom Petty aficionados might quibble, and the shear number of covers of Petty’s song indicate popular opinion on the matter, but there: I’ve said it. And yes, I digress.

      To master anything in this life we must at some point leap into the unknown and find out how we fare. Mostly we fall on our face in those early days. We either quit and play another game or we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get to it again. Even writing that I felt the overpowering cliche of familiar metaphor wash over me (sorry). But if the metaphor fits, use it.

      The whole point of this game is discovery. Try everything, learn which things work well for us and lean into them with gusto. With enough leaps we become adept at adaptation. Sure, some people have more talent than us, but persistence matters too. Skills may be learned. The rest is just breaking through the mind games of categorization and imposter syndrome. The fact is, some people will always put us in a certain bucket (people like that don’t do things like this), but mostly we do it to ourselves first. Just go do it and be ready for the stumble (see metaphor above).

      I write this knowing that there’s some new cliff I’ll need to jump off sooner or later, that I may learn to fly yet again. Life is a succession of such cliffs, and we may grow a pair or live with being ground-based creatures. We all feel like earth-bound misfits in the beginning of anything new. There’s only one way to soar though, and so we must toe up to the edge and lean into the next. It’s the only way we’ll ever fly.

    • Wild, Valorous, Amazing

      “Don’t we all, a few summers, stand here, and face the sea and, with whatever physical and intellectual deftness we can muster, improve our state—and then, silently, fall back into the grass, death’s green cloud? What is cute or charming as it rises, as it swoons? Life is Niagara, or nothing. I would not be the overlord of a single blade of grass, that I might be its sister. I put my face close to the lily, where it stands just above the grass, and give it a good greeting from the stem of my heart. We live, I am sure of this, in the same country, in the same household, and our burning comes from the same lamp. We are all wild, valorous, amazing. We are, none of us, cute.” — Mary Oliver, A Few Words

      There are no doubt days where we don’t feel inclined to do much of anything at all. To bear witness to the passing of time seems quite enough some days. Yet we do ourselves a disservice in the absence of personal valor. We mustn’t be timid. Life is far too short for timidity. Tempus fugit! We must be bold.

      How many sunrises are we to witness in a lifetime? how many sunsets before we see our last? We cannot abstain from living our best day in this one. Planning for the future is responsible, respectable and admittedly quite necessary, but capturing memories and experiences is our essential mission in the now.

      How many ways have we heard the message from those who have faded away beyond the horizon? We must feel the urgency of this moment, and fill each with our full attention. Life is Niagara, or nothing. Carpe diem!

    • What We Make Of It

      “A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

      I walked out to catch the sunrise this morning. If I looked overhead or behind me it was all dark, foreboding clouds, but looking east at the new day arising there was a break in the clouds and a bit of sunrise color lighting up the sky. as I walked down to the waterline it began to rain, a reminder from the angry clouds above that I ought not turn my back on them. We can’t ignore darkness but we can seek something better for ourselves. I lingered with the whispering sunrise and turned back to the shelter of the house. Sitting with my coffee, this Goethe quote greeted me. Who says we don’t manifest what we most want to see in this world?

      Manifest Destiny once drove American expansion westward. The term is thus forever linked to that part of our collective history in the United States, but we may borrow the phrase as we contemplate our own beliefs about the world and our place in it. We may see beauty where others only see darkness. We may find our own path towards a brighter future still. Life is often nothing more than what we make of it.

    • Beyond Intentions

      “Live less out of habit and more out of intent.” — Amy Rubin Flett

      “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits

      Going with the flow is nice until we get flushed down the wrong stream. Winging it is nothing but guesswork on the fly. We must have some clear sense of direction to set a general course, that we may navigate to in a confused sea. Otherwise what are we but rubber ducks set adrift in the current of time?

      There’s nothing wrong with adaptability. It offers resiliency in a chaotic and unpredictable world. But pivoting must have some intention to it for it to lead us anywhere. A Simone Biles floor routine would be fraught with danger if she had no sense of where she was going to land. Bouncing around can get us points or detract from our entire routine.

      We need both strong intention and great routines to carry us from here to there. We aim for a higher plane and develop a practice that transports us there. I’m no Olympic gymnast but I try to know where I’m heading in this and for the rest of my years, and build a lifestyle that helps me arrive there.

    • The Way

      “The way is within us, but not in Gods, nor in teachings, nor in laws. Within us is the way, the truth, and the life. Woe betide those who live by way of examples! Life is not with them. If you live according to an example, you thus live the life of that example, but who should live your own life if not yourself? So live yourselves...
      Who knows the way to the eternally fruitful climes of the soul? You seek the way through mere appearances, you study books and give ear to all kinds of opinion. What good is all that? There is only one way and that is your way.” — Carl Jung, The Red Book

      There is no book that will show us our way, books merely serve as an example of how those before us navigated the world. But we are the sum of all who came before us, no matter how beautiful or ugly that human history is, and knowing how to navigate a similar river of time they traversed might help us avoid hitting the rocks they hit in their time. There are lessons in the swirling waters of history that may be learned and relied upon for insight. Still, this is our way.

      We all have our compass heading to our true north. The conditions are what they are, the navigational hazards life throws at us may impede a direct route to that which calls to us, but we may still find the course through life that works for us. We simply have to avoid being foundered on the rocks before we get there. Simple… sure. Human history is full of people who couldn’t clear the rocks of their time, yet we exist in our time because it’s equally full of those who found a way.

      There’s no staying put, for stasis is decay. Knowing we must go forward, what sets our compass? We are surrounded by forces that influence our direction but ultimately it’s up to us to set it and go. Examples show us what is possible (and what is not), and fate will surely play its hand, but our own voice is telling us where our actions will take us next.

    • On Rest and Recovery

      “Human beings used to have this kind of wisdom. But we have lost touch with it. We don’t know how to rest anymore. We don’t allow the body to rest, to release the tension, and heal. We rely almost entirely on medication to deal with sickness and pain.” — Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus

      After a steady accumulation of miles cycling, I finished my goal last weekend and took a day off to rest and recover. That turned into four full days before I was back on the bike last night, more than I’d expected. But a funny thing happened—my body responded well for having rested. I rode more efficiently, with a higher average speed on the same roads I diligently traversed all summer.

      I agree with Thich Nhat Hanh’s statement wholeheartedly. We don’t know how to rest. And we consume more medication than we ought to instead of letting the body heal naturally. By we I most definitely mean me, but maybe it sounds familiar to you too? Pop a few ibuprofen and get back to the grind, anyone? Watching the Olympics the last couple of weeks, how much tape did we see stretched across athletic bodies? Sure, they’re elite, but my favorite runner has some of that tape across her knee even as I write this. We need more rest, more often, to recovery properly that we may perform at a higher level.

      The thing is, we aren’t getting any younger either. Maybe those Olympic athletes are young and in peak fitness, timed perfectly to perform optimally on the world stage, but that’s not the hand I’ve been dealt at this time in my life. Rest is essential to performance, especially when we add a few trips around the sun to our resume. We forget this because we always could do what we’re trying to do now. But it’s not then anymore, is it?

      If I could do it all over again, I’d build a life with natural sabbaticals built into the year. Teachers have this. So do landscapers and fishermen and ski instructors. We choose careers with a high earning potential instead of high lifestyle potential, and we pay the price over time. We know when we’re in balance and strive to get there when we’re off. Rest and recovery are far more essential to a productive and happy life than simply having the right job title is. Certainly better than popping another pill.