Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • Flowing Towards the Next

      I would love to live
      like a river flows,
      carried by the surprise
      of its own unfolding.
      — John O’Donohue, Fluent

      This river is unfolding rapidly lately. We think of rivers as quietly predictable. We forget about the rapids and the plunges off of cliffs. Waterfalls are simply rivers with an abrupt change of state. And so it is that life can be exhilarating some days, and utterly exhausting other days. That’s life though, isn’t it? It will level out again one day. We learn to take it as it comes.

      To paraphrase my favorite Navy pilot, I have seen the future, and I don’t have to like it. But we can work to influence that which we can control. It’s our life, such that it is, and we are the only ones who will ever have the front row seat on this journey.

      A confession: I’ve quoted O’Donohue’s poem incorrectly. The original had capitalized the first letter of each line. My inclination to correct that is a weakness in my own way of thinking. He wrote what he wrote, and I ought to leave it well enough alone. So here you go:

      I would love to live
      Like a river flows,
      Carried by the surprise
      Of its own unfolding.

      It doesn’t matter how the poem was written. What mattered was the wisdom captured in a few words placed just so. We get so caught up in the trivial details that we drown ourselves instead of accepting everything as our unique, enthralling story. Here we are, moving through time from here to somewhere. We ought to look around and acknowledge what is.

      Still, those waterfalls. It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the landing. We want to make a splash in our brief time before infinity, but it isn’t always what we expected it to be. It helps in such moments to remember the Serenity Prayer:

      God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

      We learn that wisdom is only useful when it is acquired. We go through life stumbling across bits of wisdom along the way. It’s up to us whether we pick it up or leave it forgotten on the banks of missed opportunity. We are the sum of our parts, and in the end everything we accumulate will carry us somewhere, soon enough.

      Here’s the thing about that poem we might have missed as we (I) focused on the way it was written: O’Donohue wasn’t telling us to live as he lives, he was telling us he’d love to live thusly. We are all figuring it out, forever surprised by life in all its stillness and turbulent moments. Be here, now. That is flow, and it will carry us from this moment onwards towards the next.

    • To Do at Last

      I bless the night that nourished my heart
      To set the ghosts of longing free
      Into the flow and figure of dream
      That went to harvest from the dark
      Bread for the hunger no one sees.

      All that is eternal in me
      Welcome the wonder of this day,
      The field of brightness it creates
      Offering time for each thing
      To arise and illuminate.

      I place on the altar of dawn:
      The quiet loyalty of breath,
      The tent of thought where I shelter,
      Wave of desire I am shore to
      And all beauty drawn to the eye.

      May my mind come alive today
      To the invisible geography
      That invites me to new frontiers,
      To break the dead shell of yesterdays,
      To risk being disturbed and changed.

      May I have the courage today
      To live the life that I would love,
      To postpone my dream no longer
      But do at last what I came here for
      And waste my heart on fear no more.
      — John O’Donohue, A Morning Offering

      For Saint Patrick’s Day, a morning offering from a revered Irish writer. And what a poem it is! Go on and read it once again, I don’t mind at all. I’ve read it a few times more myself, considered what to go with and in the end quoted the poem in its entirety.

      Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland. George Washington and Henry Knox chased the British out of Boston Harbor. We note the history of this day but ought to remember to make a little history ourselves. Forget drowning in pint or dram—find your stride today instead. A wee bit of poetry, a soundtrack of favorite Irish music, a brisk walk, and some writing of our own. Perhaps a splash of green to mark the occasion. The 17th of March is a day for action, not simply commemoration.

      The truth is, we get worn down by life and need to be provoked back on track. To break the dead shell of yesterdays and regain that courage to do at last what we came here for. There’s nothing to be done about all that’s happened before today, save to learn from it. Use this time to chase away our own snakes and move onward towards a brighter future. To welcome the wonder of this day by doing it justice.

    • Be Yourself

      “La plus grande chose du monde, c’est de savoir être à soi.(The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself)” — Michel de Montaigne, Essays

      If I were to put a name on a boat (I have no boat), a strong candidate might be “Rester soi-même”, or “Be Yourself”. Then again, it would be hard to explain it to people over the VHF, it would be forever misspelled, and really, who am I to tell people following me to be themselves? So even before I’ve bought a boat I’ve changed the name. But it was great while it lasted.

      I talk a lot of boats. It would be great to have one again, better to actually use it to move from points known to points unknown, that they may become known too. The vagabond within nudges for action. The practical boy raised to be responsible and present in the lives of others resists. Which exactly is myself? Usually the one that dominates the conversation.

      The thing is, we get to reinvent ourselves all the time. Decide what to be and go be it. Life is long enough and all too brief, all at once. But only if we act when it’s time to act. Go forth and become what’s next for you. There will never be a better opportunity than now. Simply be yourself.

    • A Purity of Spirit

      “Why let yourself be so torn and traumatized by the inanity and depravity of the epoch in which you are obliged to live? All of that can only graze your skin; it cannot reach the interior self. The outside world can take nothing from you and cannot unhinge you, as long as you do not allow yourself to be disturbed. The events of your time remain impotent before you, as long as you refuse to take part in them, and the madness of the epoch does not constitute a real danger, as long as you conserve in yourself a purity of spirit.” — Stefan Zweig, Montaigne

      My deep sleep was disrupted initially by the distinctive chime of the aurora app, alerting me to a “critical” possibility of seeing the northern lights if I were to get up that very moment and go out for a peek. I lay there, initially debating the wisdom of rising, but in the end I got up to see what was up in the sky. What was up was a deep overcast blocking any possibility of seeing the northern lights.

      My second round of deep sleep was interrupted by the distinctive scrape of plow on pavement. That overcast was snow moving in, and the town, in a departure from the norm, was working to stay ahead of its accumulation on the roadways. Bravo road crews. What’s gotten into you this late in the game? So much for sleep score excellence. Maybe tonight?

      This morning we rise to meet the day with a fresh blanket of snow across the landscape. For those hoping for spring flowers, this is surely a setback. But we all learn that March doesn’t give a damn about our feelings and does whatever comes naturally. And it turns out that living with a few years of March weather is instructive. The world will do what the world will do, ’tis not for us to decide. All we can control is how we react to it.

      These times may be maddening for those with a sense of right and wrong, but that doesn’t mean one must succumb to madness. Don’t let the bastards drag you down. Seek a purity of spirit by developing a keen awareness of beauty in the world, wisdom to be gathered, and joy to be found. Everything is all around us all at once. We may be forced to witness things we don’t like in the world, we may even lose sleep over the best intentions of others, but in the end we choose what we dwell on.

    • Inconceivably Done

      “We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” — Vince Lombardi

      Catching up with old friends we don’t see so much anymore, we talked about life and its lessons. We’ve learned some things in the years since we were kids figuring things out as we went. Mostly we’ve learned that we’re always going to be figuring things out. That was the lesson all along.

      One of our party has just completed what many would consider inconceivable or maybe insane. She noted the level of indifference she’s experienced by many who simply don’t understand just how hard it’s been to reach her goal or the why behind it. That’s what happens when people do things that are far beyond the imagination of everyone else. Indifference. And there’s a lesson there too.

      Our life goals are our own and nobody else’s. When we attach expectations about how others will react to our life story, we become dependent on those indifferent others for joy. The thing is, when we accomplish something beyond average, it becomes part of our identity forever. Nobody else’s. Those who know, know. And in the end that’s more than enough.

      Writing this blog post every day feels necessary most mornings, but the ritual is mine alone. Whether anyone reads it, or bothers to navigate the archives to see what else I might have to say, is not something I can control. If I start writing blog posts with titles like, “The seven must-see hidden gems in New England” or “10 Proven Shortcuts to the Top” then you’ll know I’ve succumbed to some burning desire for clicks and views. Otherwise it’s simply one day at a time, doing my thing while you do yours. Thanks for reading this far.

      There’s another lesson that comes with experience, whether large or small. We learn what’s possible. If we can do this, just imagine what else we might do next? For life is always built on the previous step. Leaps forward are rare. We mostly just build on who we were towards who we become next. It’s not inconceivable, it’s simply taking one step at a time towards our goals.

      [Congratulations Sue: Doing the inconceivable is truly amazing.]

    • Owning Truth

      “I’d rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.” — Will Rogers

      I once had a dog who would leave the room when my phone notifications chimed. He simply found it unpleasant enough that he would rise up from whatever comfortable position he lay in and walk away. I eventually reached the same conclusion about notifications and turned them all off. The truth is not nagging us to pay attention to it, the truth is quietly present awaiting discovery.

      We are living in a time with a warped sense of right and wrong. The problem is that everyone believes that they’re right. Where are the trusted sources now? We live in our own version of the upside down, built for profit. We would all profit from more time meeting on common ground.

      We must trust, but verify. This often comes down to simply not reacting to everything thrown at us, but carrying it to logical conclusion and contemplation. In magic, sleight of hand (prestidigitation) works through distraction. Sleight of hand also works with lies. In a rapid fire sound bite world seeing the truth in front of us is practically impossible unless we turn off the noise altogether. When we have time to think and see the whole picture, we find our way to our own truth.

    • Through and To

      “Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.” — Blaise Pascal, Pensées

      We are who we are, formed and beaten into our present identity by all that brought us here, and all that holds us here. That which holds us in place offers comfort or stirs resentment, depending on how we feel about where we might go next. We forget sometimes that we are still being carried to the future version of us in the present. That which holds us is mostly the past—that story of us and all that represents us. Maybe it’s just passing scenery on our road to find out, or maybe we’ve been building a foundation for that castle in the sky. The way we look at the past and present matters a great deal, for it colors our view of our future.

      Remember that old expression about the best time to plant a tree being twenty years ago, and the second best time being today? Twenty years ago is dead and gone. Nothing but memories that make us smile or hang our heads. Twenty years from now is nothing but a dream. Plant the seed of that dream today and nurture it towards whomever we may grow into. The roots are our past, anchoring us into something solid. The rest is growth and reaching for the sky. Our great-grandchildren will benefit from our dreams and schemes of today. So what bit of magic will we be our legacy to the future?

      The thing is, all of that is just words unless we shake ourselves free of the illusions of the past and dreams of the future and find awareness today. Each day is growing season for the body, mind and soul. Just what are we planting anyway? In the end, all we’ve ever had was today, growing through and to.

    • The Wealth Beyond Money

      The rich have money.
      The wealthy have time.
      It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
      — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      The only thing that matters in a lifespan is time and how we use it. To fritter and waste it in an offhand way is a surefire way to have regrets in the end, when time is gone and the song is over. Knowing this, do what must be done. Be jealous with time, that we may be wealthy beyond our money.

      To be aware and alive is the thing. To capture moments, a one line per day journal is helpful. A five-year journal allows us to see where we were a year or two ago on the same day. Some days are blessedly full of life and experience, while other days are sinfully devoid of anything memorable. Each offers a lesson in what to do with today. Do something, that we at least have something to look back on in future years, noting that this day was not frittered away.

      We get so caught up in looking ahead that we forget to spend our present time wisely. Not every moment is going to be jotted down or photographed or discussed over drinks with friends one day, but to be wealthy in time is to capture moments frequently and creatively than we otherwise would have. It’s all a grand experiment in living, and it’s ours alone to witness start-to-finish.

      We don’t have all the time in the world, but we have enough if we truly use it. Be generous with it, be wise with it, but be there with it. Unlike money, we can’t save it for later. True wealth is the active accumulation of time well spent.

    • Learning to See

      How you learn to see
      The hope eternally
      When you’re sure to leave
      Oh, leave at last
      — The Avett Brothers, Morning Song

      This blog post is being written exactly one hour later than normal, and yet at the same time as yesterday. Someone’s idea of daylight savings time flips the clock forward or backward in their respective seasons, and we all wonder why. Like most foolish rituals, it sticks because some people don’t like change. So here we are once again, changing the clocks and the morning ritual of writing before the madness of the day. What time is it really? It’s time to let go of what was.

      Lately the house has experienced changes. As the days grow longer, the communal vibe felt around the holidays fades further from memory. We often don’t stop our own scramble through the days long enough to feel the changes. Work and family commitments, a relentless winter and the rapidity of a finite life hold our attention. The day-to-day routine feels the same, but there are subtle changes.

      The dog, normally walking effervescent joy, has a look in her eyes that says something is off. Her appetite is off, her walks are more distracted. Something has changed in her mind. And then there’s the cat, normally a little ball of hate around the dog anyway, she’s gone out of her way to express it lately. Is the dog being bullied by the cat? Are they both feeling scarcity of attention and expressing it through their interaction with each other? When exactly did I become a pet psychiatrist? Pets react to change just as we humans do. They’re usually at least one paw ahead of us.

      There are forces larger than ourselves at work in the universe. Take that to mean whatever you want it to mean in your own march to infinity, but to me, some measure of hope begins with stepping away from the self and connecting with others. We are here on this brief dance through time together. Tell me, what do we really see? The changes are within us, seeking expression in the time we are given. Life goes on, and so to must we. One subtle step towards the infinite after the other.

    • Break It Down

      “If you repeated what you did today 365 more times, will you be where you want to be next year?” — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      This week I experienced something called Instrument-Assisted Soft Tissue Mobilization (IASTM), which is a fancy way of saying a highly-trained physical therapist used a chunk of metal to scrape my leg to what felt like a bloody pulp. It turned out there was no blood, just the breaking up of scar tissue accumulated over many stubborn years of telling myself that my ankle would just get better on its own. This procedure helps undo what’s been done through micro-trauma to the scarred areas. It turns out those micro-traumas create a bit of state change in the recipient. Ouch. But also, revelation.

      It’s no secret that small habits, done consistently, change us over time. If the scar tissue in my leg reminded me of anything, its that those bad habits accumulate and develop into things we aren’t even aware of until something jolts us into awareness. For me it was a gimpy ankle. For others it’s far more serious. Like the alien spores in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, bad habits sneak into our lives and change our identity. Don’t let the bastards drag you down! Break down that scar tissue.

      “Looking ahead, focus on direction rather than destinations. Maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.” — Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living

      Dropping two quotes from Kevin Kelly today, but this little book is a gem. It reads like a series of bite-sized tweets, which makes it a natural read for people who stare at a screen more than they should. That’s another habit akin to an alien invasion, creating outrage and depression in people who we used to know. We’re collectively undergoing scarification, and we must find a way to scrape it away from our lives if we hope to hold on to the best of who we are and will become.

      Scar tissue hides within. Awareness of where we are is important, and so too is knowing where we’re going. What small habit, done daily, changes our course from a lesser version of us to a greater? The days will fly by either way, we might as well tune up the body, mind and soul in positive and productive ways. Decide what to be and go be it. Just accept the discomfort of change for what it is—the breaking down of the bad to make room for the good.