Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • The Beautiful Present

      “Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road.” ― Dag Hammarskjold

      Oh Lord, how shining and festive is your gift to us, if we
      only look, and see.
      — Mary Oliver, Look and See

      For all my talk of stopping to smell the roses, I barely noticed a beautiful sugar maple turning towards peak foliage as we drove by it yesterday. Had my bride not commented on it, I’d have missed it entirely. There’s something to be said for being focused when driving a two-ton automobile, but there’s also something to not rushing through life with blinders on. The point is, we may still get from here to there while enjoying the passage of time.

      When I write about the necessity of savoring each moment I do so as a reminder to myself as much as any reader who stumbles upon this blog (Welcome, nonetheless. Or rather, especially). We ought to begin with the end in mind, as Covey once said, while still enjoying the things we chance upon as we march through our small piece of history. Hammarskjold is absolutely correct in pointing out that we ought to be aware of that far horizon, but the poet in me rejects the idea of never looking at your next step. Our next step is all we have. Have a look at all that is beautiful in it, while still glimpsing the future horizon that we may not lose our way. Put another way, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

      I’m aware of the passing of time, and look towards that horizon with keen interest in how far down the path I might go before I tire and settle into an armchair to tell the same familiar stories to anyone who will listen again and again. But those stories are created today, with full awareness of all that happens in the now. We ought to savor the beautiful present flashing before our eyes instead of fixating on the next intersection. The journey will be all the more enjoyable. We’ll get there either way.

    • Have a Look

      “Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you’re no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn’t just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here’s where things grow.
      But of course, without the top you can’t have any sides. It’s the top that defines the sides. So on we go—we have a long way—no hurry—just one step after the next.” — Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

      I see it in the pup when we get home. She bolts into the house, looks for our friends who’d been staying with us, and realizes the emptiness in a sad look back at me. Life is change, I want to tell her, but the beauty of being a dog is there’s always a chipmunk to chase down outside, and she’s soon forgotten her sadness and is out hunting instead.

      The thing is, it’s humans that really pay the price of change every day. It’s part of growing into who we may be next. Holding on to the past wastes today. And so the only answer is to savor more. Carpe diem is more than just seizing the day, it’s embracing all that it offers. In this way it pairs well with that other reminder from our stoic friends: Amor fati: Love of fate.

      We grow in the climb itself, even as we aspire for the summit. And so on we go. We ought to be careful what we wish for, for as Pirsig points out, we’ll miss all the good stuff charging ahead through life in hopes of reaching some imagined better place. Our place is simply where we’re standing now, friends, even as we’re poised for the next step. So have a look.

    • Breakthroughs and Routines

      “Do not let the world form you. Do not conform to it. Instead, transform yourself through a renewing of your mind.” ― Neil King Jr., American Ramble: A Walk of Memory and Renewal

      We are being transformed as much by time as by deliberate act. We cannot control time, such that it is, but we may control our own transformation through the choices we make, the people we associate with and the course we set for ourselves. We said goodbye to some friends over the weekend, knowing that they and we will be changed by the things we encounter between now and the time we may reconnect in the future. We are all forever being transformed, catching up one day to see the changes.

      The universe won’t remember much of us in a thousand years. Hell, I don’t remember much about myself in any given year of my own lifetime but for the highlights and those few unforgettable moments forever imprinted in my mind. We replay stepping stone moments and stumbles ranging from our youth to just this morning, each retained as memorable for what they taught us about ourselves and the place we were in our development to that moment, each still shaping who we are every time we rewind and play the conversation again in our minds.

      But remembering isn’t the thing, for we can’t carry everything with us and still function freely in the now, transformation happens with those few things that get into the bloodstream and forevermore become a part of our identity. It’s like the pesto breakthrough to me: Back as a teenager I encountered a dish of pesto put out as an hors d’oeuvre. For my entire young life up to the moment I savored that dish for the first time I thought of the world in a certain way. When I tasted pesto for the first time I immediately recognized how incomplete my life had been previously and integrated it into my identity forevermore. Life has since been far more delicious.

      We note such watershed moments in our lives that change everything, but we forget the incremental changes we make influenced by the gravitational pull of habit or environment. Writing this blog every day has changed me more than that first pesto experience, perhaps by prompting me to seek more breakthrough moments, but also by noting the existence of gravity in my everyday affairs. If we don’t acknowledge gravity we will never develop the transformational habits to one day reach escape velocity.

      Life is this combination of breakthroughs and routine, transforming us over time into whomever we are and will become. Breakthroughs are rapid change, while routines are the long, slow climb. The muscles we develop determine how well we can resist conformity and go our own way. To be deliberate in our learning and the experiences we seek out are thus our path to transformation on our own terms.

    • Nice, With Nerve

      “It’s not enough to be nice in life. One must have nerve.” — Georgia O’Keeffe

      “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from a single thing that I wanted to do.” — Georgia O’Keeffe

      The old expression that nice guys finish last isn’t completely accurate, but it ought to include the disclaimer that for nice guys not to finish last they have to show some courage and go after what they want in life. We all see the assholes who ascend to positions of power. They wouldn’t have it any other way, really. Nice people don’t have to be assholes to do consequential things in their lifetime, but they must have courage to push through the walls the world wants to box us in with. We must learn to fight for what we want in our lives.

      We can be nice but still have nerve. Nice people rise too. They just don’t leave as many bruised egos in their wake. Remember this when encountering walls and ceilings placed by assholes, but also by other nice people who meant the best for us. It’s not enough to persist, we also must insist and, just do what calls to us.

      Consequential things don’t just manifest themselves. Those climbs to summits, manuscripts and realizations of dreams require action and the nerve to start. We mustn’t wait another moment! It’s not a departure from identity to be bold, for being nice with nerve is how great things happen in this world.

    • Venturing for Pizza

      “Adventures don’t come calling like unexpected relatives; you have to go looking for them”
      — Mark Jenkins

      A friend pointed out that I don’t post all that many pictures in my blog posts anymore. His observation was right on point, as there have been way too many work from home days strung together recently. There are surely efficiencies in working from home, but there are no waterfalls, mountain peaks or historical sites hiding in the closet awaiting discovery. Discovery requires venturing.

      This week I ventured to Connecticut and found myself in an old pizza shop from the 1930’s. The kind of place that doesn’t open until 3 PM and has a take-out line that runs to the end of the parking lot. Connecticut is famous for their pizza. Maybe not Napoli famous but regionally famous, and so sharing a pizza with a business associate seemed the thing to do. I offered up the big three in New Haven, he offered up a place in Derby that he loved called Roseland Apizza (pronounced ah-beetz). Always go where the locals go, I tell myself, and so we went. I’ll tell you that the pizza was good, but it was never about the pizza in the first place, it was about the venturing.

      Whether we’re chasing waterfalls or history or pizza doesn’t matter so much as the chase itself. Break through the self-imposed walls we build around ourselves and step out of the damned box. When we get out in the world and see if for ourselves, we reignite that spark that was gasping for air. When we return to our box we find we’re breathing a little better, we’re seeing the world a little differently, and we’re more satiated than we had been previously (especially if you’re seeking out the best pizza places in Connecticut). When life seems a little boring, simply add venture.

    • Rerouting

      The more people I talk to, the more I understand that we’re all living a similar version of the story: Trying to make it all work, dealing with challenges as they come up, celebrating small wins and trying to recover from the setbacks and gut punches life throws at us. Nobody said this would be easy. Then again, nobody said we couldn’t change the rules or play a different game altogether.

      Talking to a work acquaintance who I thought had a pretty defined career lane right in front of him, he revealed that he’s taking a left turn onto a completely different route. My only response was encouragement to follow the route the internal GPS recommends. Our way is our way, not someone else’s. Who am I to tell someone which way to go with their life? All we can do is help them hear the call and support them when they find the courage to make a change.

      I’ve had similar conversations lately with others. Rerouting is never easy. Sometimes it’s forced upon us, sometimes we force it upon ourselves, but the change can be disorienting and a little terrifying when we don’t feel fully in control. But we ought to remember that we’re more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and when we find ourselves turning onto another route it’s usually better to accelerate and see how far we can go than it is to do a U-turn.

    • Time Enough

      “The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.” — Rabindranath Tagore

      We often get hung up on time and how quickly it all flies by. Yet we have more than enough for one lifetime when we use it well. We just waste so very much of it on things that aren’t all that essential. The moment is all that matters, we keep telling ourselves, and yet we measure time. The instant we recognize the fragility of the moment and our place in it, the more we begin to fully live. This is everything, all at once, and it’s a wonder to behold.

      This morning I reconciled myself to spending money and time on a problem that I inadvertently created several years ago. To spend money and time on things that I once thought were finished forever is frustrating, but instead of getting spun up in the error I’m finding joy in the resolution of the problem. With every decision we have the opportunity to set the future straight. We may celebrate this and move on to the next.

      As a rower I know the value of the current stroke in setting up the next one. Effort and recovery are forever linked in a quest for that elusive perfection. A life well spent isn’t all about the highlight reel stuff seen on Instagram, it’s the daily grind and the challenges we overcome that we may live to fight another day. Effort, recovery and setting ourselves up for the next—again and again. Stitch together enough such moments and we may build something meaningful that transcends the ordinary.

      We have time enough, even as we wish for more. Aspire to make more of the moment instead of wishing for more moments. Excellence is found here, awaiting our rise to meet it.

    • Changing Seasons

      “There is nothing permanent except change.” — Heraclitus

      Somehow cycling season is drawing to a close. Sure, there are plenty of nice days to ride all year, but the challenge is finding enough daylight to ride safely. I’m more grateful for rail trails as the days get shorter. But there’s something to be said for those favorite routes on narrow country roads on a warm, sunny afternoon. I’ll remember a few rides fondly on those cold and dark winter afternoons.

      The obvious thing is that when we spend more time outside, we become more aware of the weather, but also the seasons themselves. A slow turn towards autumn is detectable well before September, a bite to the air in late November will signal a turn towards winter, and so on. Having experienced the seasons, we feel it when there’s a change in the air. Some of us quite literally feel it in our bones. Old injuries become reliable harbingers of a variation from the norm.

      We learn to celebrate every season for the change it brings. We may have our favorites, but there’s joy to be found in each. Often it’s just a matter of stepping outside to see what greets us. These are days we’ll remember as the good old days one day. Days when maybe everything seemed so upside down, but still present the gift of people and places in our lives that one day won’t be. We realize over time that a bit of gratitude for whatever season this happens to be in our lives is what changes everything.

    • A Star In Our Hand

      “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand – and melting like a snowflake.” — Francis Bacon

      September, the seventh month, happens in the ninth month of the year. Rather than simply adding two months to the end of the calendar those Romans just dumped January and February on us up front, and we humans have been two months behind ever since. As if we had all the time in the world to work with, we’re also forever playing catchup. No wonder we all feel like life is flashing by before our eyes.

      We all want to feel that we’re ahead of the game, or at least keeping pace. If productivity is the lead indicator of progress towards a goal, we ought to be very clear about what that goal that we’re being productive towards actually is. Otherwise, why are we going there in the first place? Productivity without purpose is nothing more than busywork. Busywork is a crime against nature, for we all know we aren’t dabbling in eternity. Wasted time robs us of more vital pursuits.

      It follows that if our time is melting away at alarming speed, we ought to be doing more of what we want to be doing now. I may have written a version of that a few hundred times in the course of this blog’s existence, but repetition penetrates the dullest of minds, and my own action demonstrates a good sharpening is in order. So I risk repeating myself if only to remind myself that today, like the stack of yesterdays before it, is fragile and in want of attention. Make it sparkle like the star is wants to be.

    • Digging Holes to Yesterday

      “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” — Will Rogers

      The pup is obsessed with yesterday. She saw a chipmunk go into a small hole and proceeded to make it a big hole (just when we thought she was past the digging stage of life). This morning she was right back out there, chasing chipmunks because they were right there for the catching yesterday. Of course, the chipmunk has moved on to safer places, it’s just the memory that remains. Still, our pup remains a prisoner of what once was.

      What of us? What holes are we digging to yesterday, instead of being in today’s moment? I can think of a few of my own holes that ought to be filled in and left behind. It’s hard to climb when we’re deep in a hole.