Alexandersmap

    Category: Lifestyle

    • Run to Simplicity

      “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.” — Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

      Do you wonder why the most beautiful people in this world seem so placid and steady? There’s an inner calm like a still pond; clear and deep and surrounded by hushed beauty. Isn’t that something to aspire to in our own lives? Not for the shallow goal of being beautiful, but of living beautifully? Our lives must be more than a puddle in a rut, waiting for a truck to thump into us and drag our essence down the road. Get off that damned road.

      “There is nothing that the busy man is less busy with than living; there is nothing harder to learn.” — Seneca

      The thing is, we’re all so very busy and distracted by life. It’s hard to go deep on anything when we barely have a moment to understand things at a surface level. But surfaces dry up quickly when the drought comes. We’re taught to stick to the surface—to hack our way through the hard stuff, seeking shortcuts and a way out of anything that holds us back from the next. That applies equally well in our education, our work, and our relationships with others. Is it any wonder why so many are unsettled and distracted? There’s no substance to them because they keep running away from it.

      To skate through life without ever lingering long enough to truly know the world and our place in it is the path of mediocrity accepted by the masses. Choose to be the exception—for there lies extraordinary. To truly master anything in life, especially the living of life itself, requires immersion and stillness. We must learn to turn off the spigot and develop a thirst for deeper waters.

      “One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” — Bruce Lee

      I believe I keep this blog going to force myself deeper. The times when I want to simply shut it down and miss a day are when I’m running shallow—spread thin and beginning to dry up emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I remind myself to run deeper, to eliminate distractions and to find stillness. Sure enough, the inclination fades away and I begin to write with clarity once again. Like a shallow stream building into a flowing river that steadily moves to the sea, building momentum in a deeper channel carved out of persistence.

    • Don’t Imagine They’ll All Come True

      You’ve got your passion, you’ve got your pride
      but don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?
      Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true
      When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?
      — Billy Joel, Vienna

      Blame it on the maddening state of the world, or for reaching an age where paths diverge in a person’s life, but I’ve been struggling with uncertainty lately. Make a decision, change my mind and cancel plans, then abruptly pivot back to the original plan again… or not. Really, it’s all a confused mess. And that’s no way to go through one’s days.

      To never be fully satisfied with the plan, and to thus always feeling compelled to modify it, is a blessing and a curse. Forever seeking Kaizen (constant and never-ending improvement) is a path to personal excellence, or to a restless life never fully realized because there’s always going to be something to work on. What works for Toyota ought to work for us, right? But we aren’t corporations, we’re humans. We can’t simply systematize ourselves and expect we’ll arrive at perfection. We must dig deeper and understand where the restlessness is rooted in.

      The answer typically lies in the question: what do we want out of life? That is our direction. Coming to understand it, we may set out in that direction today without trying to change course over and over again. Good habits and a healthy routine automate some important behaviors in our lives like exercise and flossing and writing, serving as gyroscopic stabilizers so we don’t get seasick from rocking back and forth too much with our behavior.

      Some people go to a Vienna coffeehouse simply to enjoy a torte or Buchteln. Some go to lasso a muse. Both can be right. To borrow a lyric from another Billy Joel song, do what’s good for you, or you’re no good for anybody. And to rock abruptly back to Vienna, don’t imagine all your dreams will come true, just focus on the one’s that do.

    • The Path

      Routine sets the tone of our days, which in turn sets the tone of our lives. Routine can be our savior or our executioner, our best friend or our worst enemy. We inevitably feel that we’re either wrapped or trapped in in our routine. Just what path are we on anyway? Our routine leads to a life of optimization or frustration. and so we must step in and design a routine that carries us to a place we want to go to.

      We must listen to the question that stirs within: what is the purpose of this path we’ve chosen for ourselves? When we have a why that is compelling, with a routine that is designed to optimize our purpose, we move through life with a higher level of energy and passion. People that tell you to follow your passion aren’t wrong, they’re just missing a step. Following your purpose leads you to passion. Passion is directionless and can lead us astray. When we get our direction from purpose, passion naturally builds within us.

      What drives us to a rewarding and meaningful life? It’s not the steering wheel, even if we can’t imagine getting anywhere without it. It’s not the engine, necessary as a good engine may be. These are our what and how, and surely necessary to move anywhere at all in this world—but to move where? We must develop a strong navigation system. When we know where we are going, the what and how to get us there are exponentially more useful and efficient.

      And suddenly everything begins to click. Like a fine-tuned vehicle, our routine carries us towards our purpose. And the wow (passion!) begins to stir within and exude outward. When we develop a high level of passion and purpose, we create positive momentum. Everything great in our lives builds from purpose backed by propulsion (action: our engine) and creative adaptability (steering and the set of our sails). This is the path to personal excellence.

    • Ditch the Drift

      “If information isn’t nurtured with action, it loses its power.”
      — Sahil Bloom

      I believe that I’ve read well north of a thousand books in my lifetime. Honestly, I’ve lost track. And I’ve listened to at least that many podcasts and other interviews with notable people in this world, all to glean a bit of wisdom that might move me closer to that evasive personal excellence (arete) I aspire to reach one day before I reach my expiration date. Each day we’re moving closer to or further away from this evasive arete, and the secret to the direction we’re going is hiding in plain sight: Take action immediately.

      We are what we repeatedly do, Aristotle pointed out as the path to excellence. How many times have we heard it said and not acted upon it? What are we repeatedly doing? Deferring progress for stasis? Breathlessly reading another book that promises the way won’t get us there unless we merge into the fast lane ourselves.

      “Do or do not. There is no try.” — Yoda

      The only way for us to retain the information we absorb is to act on it. Otherwise it drifts away into nothingness. Words without action are also known as drifting. String too many days together of going through the motions and we find that we’ve slipped noticeably. We get a little less sharp, a little softer. We slip a notch on the belt. Lethargy is no way to go through life, friend. We must act now or drift forever. Personal excellence is a life of action and purpose. Do or do not—the choice is ours. Ditch the drift.

    • Nothing Is Different, but Everything’s Changed

      I figure that once upon a time, I was an ocean
      But now I’m a mountain range
      Something unstoppable set into motion
      Nothing is different, but everything’s changed
      — Paul Simon, Once Upon A Time There Was An Ocean

      We know everything has changed, it was always going to be so. Technology brought us here, to this place where people are so spun up and separated by what the voices on their screens are telling them. The media we choose to consume drives and divides us.

      Yes, everything has changed, and it cannot be ignored. It’s always been this way, it always will be so. Change happens, like a rogue wave washing over an island of tranquility, washing away all that was comfortable and familiar for us. The stories change, but humans have always been this way. It was hopeful to believe we’d all changed, but all we were doing was looking in a different direction while the people angry with the change we embraced gathered strength. We live on a pendulum of action and reaction, swinging one way to the next. Knowing this, we must hold on tight and work for what is right.

      And still, we also must continue to focus on things that bring growth to our own dreams. To keep climbing towards personal excellence, even when the world doesn’t feel all that excellent at the moment. We were born at this time and place, and really, it’s been a lucky break for many of us. But not all of us. So we ought to count our blessings as we rise to meet each day, and not be ungrateful for the gifts we’ve received. Use them as tools to build. Use them to climb higher. Not all change is in our control, but some change surely is.

    • Building Breadth and Depth

      “The length of your education is less important than its breadth, and the length of your life is less important than its depth.”
      — Marilyn vos Savant

      Many of us go through a stage in life where we’ve collected our diplomas and degrees and feel that we’re finally educated, and then realize when we walk out into the world that we don’t really know as much as we thought we did. A formal education is nothing but a starting point for a lifetime of learning. We can be both very smart and not very full of accumulated wisdom. Of course, we can also be devoid of both intelligence and wisdom and never realize it. Such people usually talk very loudly and confidently, and quickly put the spotlight on the imperfections of others to hide their own. We all know the type all too well now.

      When we reach the end of our lives, we may feel that we’ve left some experiences on the table that we wish we’d pursued more. The better thing to focus on is what we said yes to in our lives, at the expense of those no’s. We can dabble in many things but only master one or two at most. Are we here for mastery or to be a generalist? Just how broad a life do we wish to have? Just how deeply do we wish to go in any given area of our lives? Deathbed regrets are inevitable, for we can’t possibly do it all, but we can surely have a go at a few things.

      I’ve noticed that several of my neighbors have retired recently. I talk to them and every one of them are exuberant and engaged in something. One man has tapped his maple trees to try to make maple syrup. Another has invested heavily in woodworking equipment and turned his engineering skills into fine furniture. And a couple of close friends are currently bobbing at anchor in the Bahamas, dreaming of a bigger boat than the beautiful one they’re currently sailing on, that they may expand on already expansive experience.

      Many of us are not at an age or inclination to retire just yet, but we can chip away at accumulating wisdom and experience just the same. The trick for all of us is to live an ever-expansive life each day, regardless of the stage of life we’re currently in. Experience builds on itself, layer-by-layer, and we grow into a broader and deeper version of ourselves with each. Our minds and our lives are what we make of them. So by all means: get back to building.

    • Cracking the Shell

      “It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” — C.S. Lewis

      We all live our ordinary, decent lives, comfortable in our shell. But bless you Clive Staples Lewis for the reminder that we aren’t going to fly anywhere wrapped in comfort and routine. Take a crack out of it and see what opens up.

      There will always be great reasons to put our dreams on hold and focus on keeping the shell intact. The shell has kept us alive, protected us and feels just right most of the time. Sure, we want to grow, and someday we even want to fly, but there’s a time for everything, right?

      Our lives at present may feel a bit upside down, and playing it safe seems the logical thing to do. After all, bad economic policies and reckless idiots are making everything unstable. Prudence seems the right course of action. But prudence isn’t action—prudence is a shell.

      Meanwhile, our runway grows shorter. Tempus fugit: time flies. But will we, in our time? Start now to crack the shell. Or forget about ever flying. The world has plenty of bad eggs already.

    • All of It

      “Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it.” — Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

      To expect answers is to assume that there’s order in the universe. That’s a wide lens that comes in handy when the world embraces chaos and throws order on the bonfires. To discuss the matter with the agents of chaos is futile. They only want heated debates, mic drop dismissals and wild conspiracy theories. There is no peace or consensus in their world, only outrage. Nor is there peace amongst those outraged by those being outrageous. Shared resolve, possibly, but there is no stillness when the pot is constantly being stirred.

      And so we must find quiet resolve in the company of timeless ideas and principles. Nature and the classics, poetry and song, and the rituals of routine that quiet the mind and clarify our purpose. We’ll be the better for having walked away from the loud talkers. When they run out of reasonable people to debate they’ll simply turn on each other. To find stillness, steer clear of all of it. The quiet resolve that develops within will be more essential than ever soon enough.

    • Light, Sand, Wind and Water

      The wind is howling today, and the pup and I duck our heads to protect against the beach sand hurling through space at 50 knots looking for a hard landing. I’m tired of words today, and so we risk the sandblasting beach in search of magical light. This will do.

    • Let the Thunder Rumble

      “Rise free from care before the dawn, and seek adventures. Let the noon find thee by other lakes, and the night overtake thee everywhere at home. There are no larger fields than these, no worthier games than may here be played. Grow wild according to thy nature, like these sedges and brakes, which will never become English bay. Let the thunder rumble; what if it threaten ruin to farmers’ crops? That is not its errand to thee. Take shelter under the cloud, while they flee to carts and sheds. Let not to get a living be thy trade, but thy sport. Enjoy the land, but own it not. Through want of enterprise and faith men are where they are, buying and selling, and spending their lives like serfs.”
      — Henry David Thoreau, Walden

      In a free society, living like a serf is mostly a lifestyle choice. It’s falling in line, or being outraged by those who sip the Kool-Aid. It’s getting trapped in a bad routine, with habits that whittle away our time and quietly strangle us. It’s living in an echo chamber of like-minded outrage while life slips away and opportunities are lost. It’s giving up our agency to move our lives in the direction we want to go in because it never seems like the right time, with all that’s happening right now. We must know that it’s never going to be the right time.

      The current state of the world suggests chaos, and surely there is plenty of chaos in the world, but mostly it’s abrupt and ugly change and the reaction to that change. This hyper-focused echo chamber isn’t helping us get through our days in productive, compelling ways, even if it feels essential that we react to every damned thing the news cycle and our spun up circle of family and friends throw at us. We must learn to focus only on what we can control, and more, to be bold with our days.

      “Shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just going to live in it, versus embrace it. Change it. Improve it. Make your mark upon it.” — Steve Jobs, from the 1994 Santa Clara Valley Historical Association interview

      I had some bold plans for 2025. Started down the path, excitement growing, and then things went south and I found myself with cancelled plans and a closet full of adventure gear. The thing is, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t fully expected, because plans blow in the wind. We can either shrug and give up when the world has other plans or we can move on to other plans within our control.

      Identity is honed by experience. Experiences build upon each other and give us the confidence to be bolder still. Don’t simply live this life based on what other people expect of us; fully embrace it. Let the thunder rumble. Live the kind of life that others aspire to live themselves.